******************************
"You can only see things clearly with your heart
What is essential is invisible to the eye"


******************************************


The information, content and images on
these pages are purely in fun
and are in no way meant to cause anyone harm, grief or despair.
If you are sensitive and lack a sense of humor,
please, don't go any further.
Some places, names, and events are fictional
and any resemblance, likeness,
or similarity to any person living or dead
is purely coincidental.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Rob and Kristen-- What a Fool Believes...


I started this blog to figure out my feelings
about Robert Pattinson.
Writing has always been a form of therapy for me...
Cathartic.
Soothing.
I've needed it this past week.

There is a lot of speculation right now.
There are a lot of 'insiders' giving tabloids the scoop.
There are a lot of lies and whispers.
There is a lot of bullshit.
99% of it is what you think you know.
Because everything else is shit.
If Rob and/or Kristen
(and that includes Nick, Steph, Ruth or their immediate family)
haven't said it...
Then its all theories and guessing.
and what have we heard from any of them?

What We Actually Know.

1. Creepy pics of gross director with his arms around Kristen
and kissing her in her car.

2. Kristen's apology to everyone she hurt...
and her desperate love for Rob.

That's it.

What We Think We Know.


1. Pics of U-Haul truck seen at Los Feliz home.
Logically we can assume someone moved out.
No one is seen.
No statement is made.
Logically...
Who would want to stay in a home with
a zillion paparazzi camped outside your door?

That's about it.


What A Fool Believes.

1. Everything else.

That goes for any 'source' who claims to be close
to either Rob or Kristen but is yet spilling to Gossip Cop
or some other media outlet.
No one who loves and cares about Rob and Kristen
are sharing their pain with gossip rags.

Everything else is assumption and speculation.

And please stop fucking trying to blame Rob for this.
People are out of fucking control.

What I Believe.

1. People on twitter continue to mourn this situation.
I know everyone grieves differently.
And hey... to each their own.
I'm not telling anyone how to feel.
I'm just telling you how I feel.

I don't wallow in grief.
I'm tired of being sad.
I'm broken heart/sad faced out.
I prefer hope.
I have faith in forgiveness.

That's not me saying I think
Rob and Kristen getting back together is a done deal.
I don't.
I don't offer false hope.
But this is me accepting the possibility that 
they can find their way back to each other.

2. Rob and Kristen love each other.
My Opinion.
That kind of love doesn't go away overnight.
And they will figure this out...
What's best for them.
Whether it's together or apart.
I just want them to be happy.

What I Know.

1. I know that a lot of people I thought I knew
really disappointed me.
So quick to throw Kristen away.
So many who only pretended to be her fan...
have now come out full force in hating her.
I hope you feel better bashing her now...
You feel justified somehow... right?
Like you KNEW all along she was bad for Rob?
You still don't matter.
And guess what?
Kristen STILL owns you.
You can't stop talking about her.
Obsessing over her.
Enjoy your foaming...
because it's still bitter 
and no matter what happens to Rob and Kristen
It won't change your sad life.

2. People have asked me if I will continue to write my blog.
I'm still intoxicated with Robert Pattinson...
So yes.

As long as he gives me this...



And this...



Oh... and this...


I'm in for the long haul.
I'm not going anywhere.
(Sorry if that disappoints you)

I just want Robert to be OK.
I just want to see him laugh again.
I just want him to be happy.
And I want the same for Kristen.


And that is where I will leave this topic.
I'm done with it for now.
So many people have said so many things...
(Have you ever seen SO many Twitlongers?)
And I don't need to add to the dark cloud
hanging over this fandom.

Sometimes you just have to know when to let it go.

It's like a bloody sore.
We keep picking at it...
Scratching it.
Sometimes without really knowing we are doing it.
But its not helping.
Every time it starts to scab up...
something comes along to rip it off
and we are right back to the bloody sore.
It hurts.
I know.
But it won't get better if we don't leave it alone.
We need to give it time to heal.


Final Thought.

OK...  I will admit I'm not over it.
But I'm getting better all the time
(Can't get much worse)

And yes... that is part of a Beatles song.
In the past...
When I have gone through bad times...
I have often turned to the Beatles music to make me feel better.
And they have never let me down.
Now there are a number of love songs (And I Love Her)
hopeful songs (We Can Work It Out)
cheering up songs (Hey Jude)
But one of my favorite songs...
seems to fit this moment.
At least for me.

I Will.




Who knows how long I've loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime?
If you want me to I will

For if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart

And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
Oh, you know I will, I will



And just to leave on the same note I came in on.

I adore Shaggy and Scrappy.
They always make me smile.


This post is brought to you by the Letter S.
You know why.

I adore you, Thomas Sturridge.

Until next time.

Bye for now

And the beat goes on...

Friday, July 27, 2012

Love Hurts.


What am I supposed to say?
There is so much anger out there right now.
So much hatred.
Yes.
I'm disappointed too.
Obviously I care about Rob and Kristen.
I would never in a million years imagine something like this 
happening between two people that were so in love.
And whether you believe it or not...
They still love each other.
Whether they go forward together or not
isn't up to you... or me.
Rob and Kristen need to figure this out.
I only wish they could do so with some measure of privacy.

All the conspiracy theories and rationalizations
aren't going to change what happened.
All the continuous hatred and bitterness
doesn't serve any purpose other than to 
prolong the unhappiness and sadness.

We all are hurting in some way...
And I understand the feeling of protection over Rob.
The thought of him in so much pain... kills me.
But the truth of the matter is
What Kristen did has nothing to do with us.
Yes.
We can question why
We can be sad
We can be disappointed and angry.
But where do you stop and let it go?
When do you realize that hating her isn't going to change anything?
Because in truth...
All this turbulent emotion is more about us
intruding on their relationship.
Pushing ourselves in... where we never belonged in the first place.
This isn't ours to deal with.
This isn't really even our pain to feel.
I know we all do... I do, too...
But we need to back off now...
We need to let them heal and figure this out
We finally need to leave them alone...
and quit asking for things we have no right to ask for.
We don't have a right to know the intimate details.
We never did.

Final thought.

My father... who is one of the most intelligent and witty men I know...
but completely clueless when it come to 
'entertainment' news...
Actually said to me yesterday
"So I was reading the paper and saw that there
is big trouble in vampire land"
Yes.
He said VAMPIRE LAND.
I just looked at him... shocked.
I finally replied...
"Yeah, Dad... Vampire land is kinda sad right now"
He looked at me and said
"I feel sorry for those 2 kids. I can't imagine having to 
deal with that heartbreak in the public eye."

Compassion.
My father has it.
And he knows nothing about Rob and Kristen
beyond what he has read in the paper.
I know some of you are so angry at Kristen
and want to call her names and hate on her.
But try to look at her...
as she is.
Strip away the fame and fortune...
Take away who her boyfriend is.
Look at her.
She is just a girl.
Who made a terrible mistake.
A horrible choice.
Yes... she hurt some people
And she has to live with that.
She has to make amends.
But she is hurting too.
If you saw her on the street...
Desperate and crying... hurt
Wouldn't you stop and try to help her?
Wouldn't you be scared and worried for her?
Or would you just scoff and say she deserves her pain?
Would you spit on her as you walked away?
Personally?
I would help her.
I want her to be OK.
I couldn't just turn my back and walk away.
And that's where I am right now.

This post is brought to you by compassion.
I hope some of you find some.

If you are without sin... cast that stone.
.........

(waiting)

..........

Thought so.

Until next time
(and there will be a next time.)

Bye for now

P.S.
I still adore Tom Sturridge.
A bright shiny star 
in this dark dark night...


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Shattered Opinion


 I don't hate Kristen Stewart.
Yes.
I'm disappointed.
I'm confused.
I'm trying to wrap my head around all of it.
It's not working.
I feel sorrow.
Sorry for the innocent people this has hurt.
Sorry for the hatred that this fandom is seething with.
Sorry that sometimes sorry
isn't enough.

Kristen didn't betray me.
Everything I did for and about her...
I did for me.
No one forced me to go to her movies
or buy her magazine covers...
Or rush to her defense.
And contrary to popular opinion
No one made me love her.
And him.
Together.
I did that on my own.
And I have no regrets over the last 4 years.
I would do it all again.

And guess what?
I still feel protective over her.
Can't help it.
I get if you feel betrayed.
I get that you are mad.
I even get if you don't like her anymore.
But the violent hatred I have seen online
makes me nauseous.

I don't condone having affairs with married men.
It's wrong.
It's destructive.
It's completely selfish.
And it makes no fucking sense.

I admit that I'm overly invested in this.
I loved both Rob and Kristen.
But my biggest clue was that I was physically ill this morning.
As in throwing up.
Sick.
Over this.
Over two people's relationship.
And I'm not one of the people.
It shouldn't affect me this strongly.
But it does.

Look...
I will always be a fan of Robert Pattinson.
I fucking adore him.
Forever.
As for Kristen...
I can't turn my back on her.
Even now.
I need to see how this all plays out.
I need to know ...
That they are BOTH OK.
I will still care about Robert and Kristen
Together. Or apart.

Kristen released a statement today regarding this whole thing...

I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment 
I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected.
 This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life,
 the person I love and respect the most, Rob.
 I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry.

I love him.
I love him.
I'm so sorry.

What was left of my heart... shattered.

What remains to be seen...
Is how Robert handles all this.



I wish that they could just figure it out on their own.
Without the whole fucking world watching them.
Judging them.

I feel protective over Rob... too.
He loved her so.
She made him so happy.
And that made me happy.
I can't imagine anyone doing this to him.
Especially Kristen.

Kristen is flawed.
So is Robert.
Human. Imperfect.
We have no idea what is happening with them...
or why.
We see tiny glimpses into their lives
Glimpses that we probably don't deserve.
Are you without flaws?
Have you never hurt someone you love?
Whether Kristen is forgiven or not
isn't up to you.
Or me.
Just Rob.
This is their relationship.
It's between them.
Only them.
We are outside... looking in.
We don't belong inside.


This post is brought to you by my heart.
It aches for Robert.
It's sad for Kristen.
It's hurting for this fandom...
who have loved Rob and Kristen
so well for so long.

Where do we go from here?

Will they find happy again?
Will we?



One last thing.

Don't make me choose.
It will be him.
It's always been him.

Bye for now

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Rob and Kristen-- In the Circle



I've decided to write BEFORE the Teen Choice Awards tonight.
Why?
Do I expect epic PDA from Rob and Kristen?
Not really.
Besides the fact that the word "epic" has lost all meaning.
There is Rob and Kristen.
That is enough.


I do expect Robert to look handsome and sexy as usual.
The guy can't really help it...
He was born that way.
I do expect Kristen to be wearing the hell outta some
hot edgy clothes...
Looking young and gorgeous.
I'm hoping for a few surprises...
But that's just me.
And I always look forward to seeing the
Mrs McDonald/Robert/Kristen dynamic.
But again...
That's just me.
So yeah.
I will brave the screaming loud screeching teens
just to get a peek of Rob and Kristen.
I enjoy seeing them together.
They make me smile.




What is this picture from?
I'm guessing you already know.
Don't we kinda assume they will hold hands now?
Rob and Kristen went out to see Bobby Long
the other night.
Surprised?
No.
But why shouldn't they go see a friend perform?
There were a lot of tweets from inside the venue...
Most were just the usual PDA we've come to expect
from Rob and Kristen lately.
Hugging... Holding hands...
A kiss here and there...
Nothing any other young couple in love 
wouldn't do.
Of course...
We did get the occasional tweeter
embellishing on what they saw.
Or heard.
"I was really close to Rob and Kristen and
I heard him say 'I love you baby'... I really did!"
While I'm sure Rob says that to Kristen ALL the time
I'm kinda doubting he was overheard in a loud bar
surrounded by a ring of friends.
But that doesn't really matter... does it?
How many times have we heard the same tale?
"Rob and Kristen were so cute with each other"
"Rob had his arm around Kristen and kissed her"
"Rob and Kristen were holding hands"
And seriously...
After this


After seeing it with our OWN eyes in Cannes....
Is there any doubt that his type of behavior 
between Rob and Kristen is just how they ARE?
How many more times do you have to hear about
how sweet and adorable and cute they are together
before you finally BELIEVE??
There is NO denial.
There are no excuses.
This is what Rob and Kristen DO.
Like...
ALL the time.
So it shouldn't be a surprise anymore
when we see them doing it...
Again.


This is a pic from the latest Rob interview in "Blackbook" magazine.
I have a thing for black and white Rob.
I just do.
But anyway...
There was an interview in the magazine...
But I'm not sure what to exactly make of it.
The interviewer took the part of Rob's beating heart.
Yeah.
So.
It was strange.
There were a few quotes from Robert...
But they were put in the article
and then the 'heart' gave its impressions.
Did I say strange?
The pictures were good though...


Tattoos on Rob are interesting.
The "bad boy" look is good on him.
But I'm not sure it suits him.
Who knows.
But as random and odd as this 'interview' was...
and I do use the term loosely
I did have a favorite quote.


“My circle of friends narrowed pretty quickly.” Says Rob, 
“I like to be the parasite, not the other way around.”

I like that.
It shows me that Rob doesn't put up with bullshit.
It shows me that Rob hangs out with a narrow circle of friends
because he WANTS to.
Not because he has to.
He's picky.
Not everyone gets to be in his circle.
And it should tell you something...
when Kristen is ALWAYS in the circle.
The fucking CENTER of his circle.
His circle pretty much revolves around Kristen.


Yeah.
That should tell you something.


I was going to write more...
But I believe the TCA red carpet starts soon...
And who knows what fun stuff we will see tonight?
(only the shadow knows)

This post is brought to you by Circles.

Rob and Kristen
Inner Circle
Circle of Love

Red Circles 
You know those red circles of ridiculous on pictures
that people feel the need to circle a plant
or a wall...
or a crack in the sidewalk to prove something
that doesn't fucking matter anyway.
and this post is brought to you by...


My undying adoration of all things Tom Sturridge.


Let the games begin.

Until next time

Bye for now

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Rob and Kristen- Let's Start With Forever...


"At what point did you guys know that you had
really good onscreen chemistry?"

What did Robert say?

I KNEW BEFORE I MET HER.

And while some would say Rob was just joking around
(which he did do a lot in this interview)
There is some precedence to this statement.
Rob did say on many occasions that he wanted
to work with Kristen when he saw her in
"Into The Wild"
and that was the reason he auditioned for Twilight.
So...
The whole 'before I met her' rings true... yes?

And let's talk about the whole 'off camera' incident.
Which wasn't off camera at all.




The Lunatic Fringe
actually took this as some insult.
The Bitter Berts were all offended that 
"Rob is so jealous of Kristen and wanted to slap her
and knock her off her chair!"
"Where's Garrett?? Garrett would never do that!!"
The Nasty Ninnies were all about 
"No real couple would EVER talk about each other like that!"
"Rob really must hate Kristen!! He wants to slap her!"

And both elements of the Fringe were united in their
lopsided delusional ranting 
"I can't wait until He/She dumps Him/Her."

Really?
What part of that did you really believe Rob meant?
That he wanted someone to push her off her chair?
That he wants to slap her?
Really?
Did you see Kristen's response at all?
SHE WAS LAUGHING!!!
ROB WAS LAUGHING!!!
They were teasing and joking with each other.
Has everyone forgotten how they interact?
You REALLY think he was seriously telling Kristen
that he wanted to slap her when a camera was 
on them the whole time?

Good Fucking Grief.
It's like people just ignore all the other stuff
that goes on with Rob and Kristen...
and just focus on the most lame ass shit.


Kristen was positively GLOWING with happiness that day.
Overfuckingflowing with it.
Did she look like someone who was offended by what Rob said?
Or do you think the girl understands his sense of humor?
Do you?
I thought the banter was adorable...
They are so damn cute with each other.
Laughing. Giggling.
In their own little world.
Oh yeah... Taylor was there too.

Yet.
We get the Fringe out there determining
that Kristen should do this...
and Rob shouldn't put up with that
and Kristen needs to stop that
and Rob can't wait for this...
Yada Yada Yada
The drama...
as usual
is self inflicted.
There is no drama between Rob and Kristen.
They are just living their lives
TOGETHER.
HAPPY.
IN LOVE.
It's only the delusional asstards
who feel entitled to decide
what Rob and Kristen should do with their lives
that love to wallow in the bitter foam 
that they are always swimming in.
Digesting.
Spewing.
Gross.



On to better things...

I watched Breaking Dawn 1 last night.
I like this movie.
The wedding.
God.
We've all heard Kristen say 'her' wedding
was her favorite part.
It's mine too.
It's major sap time whenever I watch it.
Seeing Bella all nervous about walking down the aisle...
The way her face fucking lights up
when she sees Edward waiting for her.
The kissing.
And yes... the Prom song.
As soon as they start singing


"I was a quick wet boy 
Diving too deep for coins ..."

I get a bit teary. Still.
I do.
The way they look at each other.
The way they kiss.
The way a part of it seems all so real...

"Have I found you, Flightless Bird?"

Yes.
You found each other.
Let's start with Forever.
**sniffle**

Enough sap?
Probably.
I'm in kinda a mood.
Bitchy/Sappy
Not sure how that works.
But I yam what I yam.


This post is brought to you by things that make me Sappy.
Sappy
Soggy
Mushy
Melty



1. Thomas Sturridge.
Yeah... he's a daddy now
But for some reason that just makes him
all the more appealing.
Tender, loyal, sweet and loving.
What an incredible father he must be.




2. Pattinson. Robert Pattinson.
OK.
So I'm not sure 'sappy' describes how this picture
makes me feel..
But MELTY does.
Yes. It does.
Don't argue with me.


3. Breaking Dawn Wedding Scene.

"It's an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bare your soul to
 and accept you for what you are.
 I've been waiting, for what seems like a very long time,
 to get beyond what I am. 
With Kristen Bella I feel like I can finally begin.
So I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful bride. 
No measure of time with you will be long enough.
 But let's start with forever."



4. Cannes.
Major Saptastic.
Always.
Forever.
And no matter how the Fringe wants to spin it...
They can't deny what we all saw.
Sapilicious.
Saptacular.

Rob and Kristen make me sappy.
In a good way.
In a wonderful way.
In a smiley, giddy, twirly way.

And that's a great way to end this post.

So until next time...

Bye for now

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Rob and Kristen-- Comic Con Cute


Where do I begin
To tell the story of how great a love can be
The sweet love story that is older than the sea
The simple truth about the love she brings to me
Where do I start?


Comic Con 2012 
The last Twilight Comic Con.
Kinda 'bittersweet'
And I'm starting to hate that word.

Well... needless to say
(I say needless to say a lot and I always say it)
There was an abundance of cute adorable moments.

First off...


How fucking sexy is Kristen?
I mean, seriously...
The girl was radiating sex appeal.
It's not so much the clothes or makeup...
it was the confidence.
The satisfaction.
Confidence is sexy.

Kristen has countless reasons to be brimming with it...
SWATH has done well at the box office.
She's excited about upcoming projects.
She looks phenomenal.
And Robert Pattinson can't keep his eyes off of her.
(and probably his hands... but we don't need to go there)



With her first hello
She gave new meaning to this empty world of mine
There'd never be another love, another time
She came into my life and made the living fine
She fills my heart

Rob and Kristen were their adorable selves at Comic Con.
They were playful and teasing
They were smiley and cute
They were... well
Rob and Kristen.
The banter they have together is so fun to watch.
Let's face it...
Rob and Kristen are fun to watch.
Period.
Rob is ALWAYS looking at Kristen.
Even when he might not be directly looking at her
You can tell he keeps her in his field of vision
He's just so...
...
AWARE of her.
No
He doesn't have to be next to her every second
or on top of her
No.
He doesn't have to do that.
She already belongs to him
That much is clear.
But he still can't resist looking at her...
And come on
He is so focused on her.
Always.
What she is saying...
What she is doing...
Always.



She fills my heart with very special things
With angels songs , with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go I'm never lonely
With her around, who could be lonely
I reach for her hand-its always there


This picture.
This simple picture of Rob and Kristen's legs
next to each other.
How CUTE is that?
I know it sounds ridiculous.
I am ridiculous.
I can admit it.
But that picture just made me SMILE
BIG TIME!

Why?
I'm not even sure why.
But it's like...
SO Rob and Kristen to me.
It's how they seem to be in public.
Subtle touches. 
Looks.
Rob has always worn his feelings for Kristen
on his gorgeous face.
Kristen seemed to try for a long time to avoid looking at him in public
Being too close...
She knew that once she did...
The world would know how she really felt.
And she was right.
Look at her look at him.
It's all there.
As for touching him?
She can't quite stop herself anymore.


She's always doing it.
Not that I blame her.
Nope.
Not at all.
And Rob isn't complaining... is he?
Nope.
Not at all.


Does Kristen say "I love you" here?
I don't know.
It's a great thought.
Robert does appear to be saying "same"
So whatever she said
He shares her emotion.
Doesn't really matter...
Look at the smile on Kristen's face
at Rob's response.
Yep.
Same.



How long does it last
Can love be measured by the hours in a day
I have no answers now but this much I can say
I know I'll need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there


So another Comic Con bites the dust...
and we are on the final Twilight journey.
Look at how far we've come
but more than that
Look at how far we still have to go.
Beyond Twilight.
Rob and Kristen will lead the way.
Together.


This post is brought to you by the letter *W*


W for WALKING!!



Well, do anything that you want to do, but uh-uh
Honey, lay off of my shoes
And don't you
Step on my blue suede shoes
Well, you can do anything
But lay off of my blue suede shoes

W for 


Um.
W for...
WONDERFUL!

Thomas Sturridge.
I adore you.

And last but not least...
W for
Wait and see.
Good. Stuff. Coming.

Until next time.

Bye for now