Dark Edward.

Yeah, this is pretty much it. Because this picture looks more like Edward than it does Robert. At least in my mind (take that for what its worth). Edward looks like he can be so dangerous. I love that about him. This picture is the one I saw of Robert...when I knew that he could pull off the whole Edward thing. Yeah.

So anyway.

I've been writing in here a few months now...I'm not sure what it is doing for me, except making me look like a complete lunatic. I've been reading other peoples blogs...some of them are so serious. Some of them are hilarious. I'm not sure what mine is. It's just constant blathering about Robert Pattinson and/or Edward Cullen. Over and over again. But I didn't come here to talk about my husband and kids...cuz, well...they wouldn't appreciate me telling personal info on a Robert Pattinson Intoxication blog, and I don't blame them. I made this blog so I could figure out my obsession to Robert/Edward. At least I can admit that it is both of them that make up my addiction. I can at least be that honest with myself. I didn't make this blog thinking that I would get all sorts of attention. In fact, it would kinda scare me if anyone read this with any sort of regularity. Now, I have no way of knowing whether anyone reads this or not...I'm assuming not. I have gotten a few comments along the way...but other than that...I'm in this alone. I just found out today that I have no 'followers'...so I guess that's a good thing. At least I can slowly lose my mind without anyone watching! I do follow a few blogs...people that I find amusing. I'm all for amusing. I suppose I don't really have to follow them to read them. OK..now I just sound weird.

"You may be right...I may be crazy. But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for!"

Gotta love Billy Joel.

I'm a lunatic. Classified. Grade A. Number 1. Lunatic.

And guess what? I didn't curse through this WHOLE post!

I am so proud. And weirded out.

Now I feel like I am talking to myself.

Oh oh.

Bye for now:)

No more F-bombs. Really. At least for this post. Really.

This is how I picture 'dark' Edward in "Wide Awake". Really.

And I don't need to add a certain F word to prove that point. Whew. This is kinda hard. I mean...I look at Rob...and I _____ want to say it. It's really _____hard not to type that word. How sad is it that I read someones fanfic...and I get all caught up in how she litters it with profanity? So caught up that I start _____ talking just like 'dark' Edward? I am so easily led. So easily addicted. So easily ____ prone to cursing like a _____sailor. Yeah. I guess anything that has to do with EDWARD is my ____brand of heroin. I know that's a lame line to put here...____lame, actually. But, I have to lay my Robsession, my devotion to all things Twilight, all at Stephenie Meyers doorstep. That , and I obviously have a _____addictive personality. I loved Edward first. No _____doubt about that. As much as I thought Robert Pattinson was ______adorable, I never thought much beyond that point (yeah, me and a zillion other people, right?). But then came Edward. And I _____LOVE Edward. Everything about him. And that led me to Robert. Who I now _____adore. I'm a fan for _____life. Yeah. Robert? I ______LOVE YOU.

I also wanted to note the passing of another year. It's now 2009. Bullshit. (I said no F-bombs, OK?) I'm much better in even years...and I'm not even sure why I say that. Must be the obsessive/compulsive part of my personality. Yeah. That's it.

OK. I love Edward. I love Robert. And yeah, I know that Edward is a character in a book/movie...and that Robert is an actor portraying said character. I got it.

Now get the ____out of here.

Well, if there ever was a doubt...it's all been erased.

Sweet Jesus. Why does every God damn picture of Rob affect me so God damn much? Seriously. Shit.

OK. Get this. I am out of town for 3 1/2 days. No computer. No cell phone. No Robsessed. I mean...no fucking computer! WTF is THAT about? My husband (kidnapper, as it were) and a few friends went 'up North' to do some snowmobiling...and just hang out in the Northwoods of Wisconsin (and can I just say, that when the city of Forks is shown in "Twilight"...it could be fucking northern Wisconsin, OK? Maybe we get a wee bit more sun...but otherwise? I'm looking for some vampires). I'm all atwitter about how I am going to get my Robsession...filled. I bring along the book Twilight. I bring my iPod with Rob singing...and some movie clips....and I bring along the Twilight movie companion....and I... and I...FUCK. I am so fucking far gone. I mean. LOOK AT ME. I found myself reading Twilight for the zillionth time. Honestly. I have no idea how many bullshit times I've read that book. And I fucking stare at my tiny little iPod screen...just so I can see Robert talk...and move...and fucking BE Robert? And. And. I just fucking listen to Rob sing in my ears...fucking SING TO ME. OK...so who is the most pathetic fucking god damn motherfucking human being in existence? ME. Fucking ME, that's who. I missed Rob so much. I was actually glad that he hasn't done anything recently...so that I wouldn't have missed a new picture...or video...Oh Jesus. And then. We are driving home the 3 hour trip...and I am listening to the Twilight Soundtrack...and I am looking out the window...feeling just like Bella...when she is going off to Forks for the first time. Fucking Hey.

And even through ALL this fucking bullshit...I'm talking to my friends a teeny eeny tiny bit about Twilight...."Oh yeah, I've seen the movie" (a fucking zillion times, but I will tell you that I saw it ONCE) and my husband...AGAIN...says I'm obsessed with vampires. Fucking VAMPIRES. I mean, how fucking clueless can one man be? Vampires? Really? Are you fucking KIDDING ME? I would laugh out loud at that...if it wasn't so fucking pathetic. If *I* weren't so fucking pathetic. And here I thought my getting 'away' would cure me of saying FUCKING every other fucking word. NOPE. Cuz here I am...back on this blog...and fucking is flowing outta me like ....well...fuck....its just flowing out of me, let's leave it at that.

Can you tell that I am more than a bit...agitated? Yeah. Maybe it's just the realization that I am so fucking far gone. I'm even contemplating going to see Twilight in the theater tomorrow. Never mind that I just watched the motherfucker...never mind that I've seen the movie in excess of 20 times (OK, 20 is a guess, I really don't have any idea how many fucking times I've watched Twilight. I've seen it 5x in theaters, countless times on the computer. And isn't it even scarier to think that I have NO FUCKING IDEA how many times I've seen it? 20 is a fucking guess. I mean, it could be fucking MORE than that. Bullshit). I mean, seriously. Get a fucking grip, woman.

OK then. I've ranted and raved for a while now. Do I feel better? No fucking way. I may be a lot of things...but I'm not stupid. And I'm no fool. And I know when I'm a goner. And I'm shaking hands and saying goodbye to the last shreds of my sanity. Toodles!

I'm fucking done.

Here I sit, with my laptop humming on my fucking lap. And as much as I would love to stop inserting 'fucking' into every sentence, I fucking can't. So far, it hasn't come out of my fucking mouth...just off my fucking keyboard. Maybe I'm not completely fucking insane.

Yet.

I just wanted to fucking write in here before I am taken somewhere, where I won't have computer access. Fucking bullshit. How am I supposed to survive without my fellow RobKats? Fucking how? I am leaving fucking Jan 1st and will be home sometime on Jan 4th.

My Robsession will be on dangerous fucking overload by the time I get back.

DANGER DANGER FUCKING ROBSESSED.

The lovely ladies of Robsessed...have helped me with my fucking addiction. My fucking overwhelming NEED of all things Robert Pattinson. They fucking understand me. They fucking get me.

They fucking help me deal with this fucking passion, they help me figure out why the fuck I react to Rob so fucking strongly.

Yes. I will be in grave peril come Sunday afternoon. I hope I survive that long...I fucking hope so.