Is Robsten a Dirty Word?

The post you are about to read is true. 

Only the names have been changed to protect the stupid.

If you are pregnant or nursing...

Are prone to heart attacks or leprosy

If there is even a remote chance that

you lack a sense of humor 

or cannot comprehend sarcasm.

Read at your own risk.

Possible side effects include:

Sausage fingers

Crook eye (not to be confused with Stink eye)

Fallen arches

Hair loss

Tennis Elbow

and Diabetes.

If you think you have any of these things.

Go to a fucking doctor.

Good Grief.

We are in a major drought.

Major.

Like...

Kristen hasn't been photographed since July 31st

and Rob since August 9th.

A month with no Kristen?

Is that true??

And yeah...

they have been tweeted all over the place

as usual.

And as usual...

Idiots keep believing the idiots.

I guess when people are desperate for

anything R/K related

They start fucking hallucinating.

And some people are so thirsty for ANY news

they are willing to believe anything as long as it has

Robert or Kristen's name attached to it.

You can feed these people shit...

and tell them its steak

and they will eat it gladly.

They will chew and swallow

and they will tell you its the best steak they ever had!

I really don't get the anguish.

Maybe because I'm not worried about the state

of Robert and Kristen's relationship.

Why should I be?

They have managed pretty good all by themselves

without my input.

Do you really think they need anyone

(especially people who don't know them)

Telling them how to conduct their very private relationship?

Right. Right.

So these fools come out of the woodwork.

On Twitter and Facebook...

Looking for attention.

Looking for excuses.

Looking for a way to find drama where none exists.

"I saw Rob _________"

Well you can fill in the blank.

It really doesn't matter where...

As long as its NOT with Kristen

You are good to go.

And there are always suckers who will eat that shit right up.

OH MY GOD!!!!
I GUESS ROB IS STILL IN L.A.!!

WHY ROB WHY!!!

Anyone can say anything...

One random asshole

And it goes thru Twitter 

like the fucker came down off the mountain

with stone tablets in his hands.

SO LET IT BE WRITTEN

SO LET IT BE DONE!

It must be true!!!

I saw it on Facebook!

But someone saw Rob punching grandmas in Los Angeles!

It's GOSPEL!

It has to be!!

The whole twitter/facebook thing amazes me.

Not only because of the gullibility of the masses

Those who are so despondent for any news of Rob/Kristen

But because it's odd how easily some tweets/sightings

are believed...

and others?

Not so much.

One lonely tweet about making an 'ice cream sunday'

(sunday? really??)

For Robert Pattinson...

She admits to not seeing him

But she throws in Soho and a birthday candle...

and all is right with the world.

Etch that on the tablet.

But in the not too distant past...

There were numerous tweets 

about Rob and Kristen at an afterparty.

Numerous.

As in more than one.

Where they were seen kissing... and snuggling together.

Being Rob and Kristen

But no.

NO NO NO

We cannot believe those!

NEVER!!

Even though it was other famous people...

(Famewhores, no doubt)

Even though more than one person saw it

It quickly gets dismissed

and the familiar chant rings out...

PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!

(but exceptions are apparently made)

So...

I say to you

Where is Robert Pattinson?

We haven't seen a fucking picture of Rob since August 9th.

And I will even give you the tweet from Norman

(Still loving Norman)

And his guitar shop because I think he's a good guy.

(And he waited a day to say anything)

Even given that...

That sighting was last Wednesday.

Almost a week ago.

 So let's fucking face it people

All you Rob/Kristen starved people out there.

We don't fucking know where he is.

Not you.

Not me.

Not Nana Rose...

And believe you me...

Nana Rose knows just about everything!

And I get it.

I really do.

I love seeing pics of Rob and Kristen

(especially together)

And sure...

I miss their faces.

I miss THEM.

I do.

But all this angst and worry about Rob and Kristen

is ridiculous.

Please tell me you agree.

It's one thing to miss them...

It's quite another to anguish over perceived locations

To get all worked up over random asshole tweets.

To stress out and start calling Rob names

for not being where you think he should be...

or that he wasn't home for his Mom's birthday.

To fucking stress out over NOTHING.

It's insanity.

My personal opinion?

Well...

You must want it if you are reading this... Right?

You don't know if Rob missed his Moms birthday.

You don't know where he was that day.

I think he's been to London at least once.

Maybe he's there right now?

Who knows.

(Maybe there will be pictures eventually telling us where he is)

But if you honestly think that a few weeks apart...

means anything in the grand scheme of things?

You need to lighten up.

Truly.

You don't think Rob and Kristen talk everyday?

Really?

And is it really that far fetched to think that Robert

charters a jet and goes to London for a few days?

Really?

Don't be utterly foolish.

There have been days and days when

no one knows where Robert is.

Or Kristen for that matter.

Days and days.

Do you think he just ceases to exist

until the next butthead decides to make up 

some lame twitter sighting?

What

The

Fuck

Ever.

I prefer to think of Rob and Kristen

TWIRLING

yes.

Happy and in love.

Living their lives without intrusion.

Their Love.

Their Way.

(I hear a song...)

Don't see drama where there isn't any.

Don't stress over bullshit.

The truth shall set you free.

Green Sheep Forever.

I miss that face.

I really truly do.

Even if it is buried under all that hair.

It's still a wonderful face.

A beautiful face.

This post is brought to you by Roseberry.

It's sweet.

It's delicious.

Bye for now