Rob and Kristen Always End Up Together

Coachella Gorgeous

I'm not sure how to write this post.

All I can do is smile.

And laugh.

And guffaw.

And giggle.

and any other word that means 

laugh my ass off.

Here's the story.

Kristen was spotted at Coachella over the weekend.

Looking FABULOUS as always.

I mean seriously...

How the hell does she always look so damn beautiful?

Anyway.

So Kristen was seen with her agent/publicist Ruth.

Big uproar.

"Why is Ruth with her?"

"It must be BUSINESS"

Is it really that hard to comprehend that Kristen

actually LIKES Ruth and maybe was spending time with her

because she wanted to?

Ruth looks like a cool chick to me.

I'd hang out with her.

OK. So.

All these pics of Kristen.

No Robert.

Not a peep.

Just his Baltimore Orioles hat.

Ha!

So of course...

Then the Rob sightings started happening...

Screams from the Fringe!!

"He's not there!"

"Nice try Sheep! We know he's not there!"

"I hope a pic of Rob out with friends turns up"

and of course

the tried and true

"PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!!"

Ouch.

Coachella Walking

I guess it DID happen.

This is going to sting a little bit.

That's GOTTA sting.

Just a bit.

Or maybe a lot.

"Rob looks miserable as always"

"They are never together"

"So what? They can only ever go out with 

a million people around them!"

"It doesn't mean anything!"

Lean on me...

Oh dear.

Rob and Kristen

Leaning into each other.

TOGETHER.

And what lesson have we all learned 

from the past 3+ years?

Rob and Kristen

ALWAYS

END UP

TOGETHER.

You would think the Lunatic Fringe

would learn their lesson by now.

They must like the taste of their 

foot in their big mouths.

I bet it tastes bitter...

So once we got past Rob actually being there with Kristen...

You know what happens next... right?

That's right.

EXCUSES.

1. Rob and Kristen look like they don't want to be there.

Look at how bored and miserable they are!

Music is a strong bond.

Hello?

They are listening to music.

Look at the faces around them.

Amazing that everyone looks the same.

They ALL must be fucking miserable then...huh?

2. Rob is just there to take care of Kristen.

They never let her do anything alone.

Yeah. OK.

Rob and Kristen are once again spotted in public

Kissing.

Holding hands.

Being Rob and Kristen.

And the only reason is because Rob feels sorry for her

and needs to babysit her.

And I hate to be the one to break this news...

But Coachella isn't a place you go to be 'alone'

They have plenty of time to do that at home.

Their home.

3. It's just PR!

Rob is doing a job!

He has to be there!

Look how annoyed he is!

Yes.

PR

That's why unlike Mrs. McDonald

who sought out the cameras...

(E I E I O)

You barely see any pictures of them.

Because Rob is FORCED to kiss on Kristen

and hold her hand

(Yes, he was only doing that so she wouldn't get lost)

This is really so not nice of me, isn't it?

Pointing and laughing.

I can't seem to help myself today.

Because as irrelevant as the Fringe truly are...

Their desperate excuses never cease to entertain me.

I digress.

4. Rob is so disappointing!

He can't possibly like her more than a friend.

He feels sorry for her.

They are only FWB!

THIS is why so many people are going 

over to the HUNGER GAMES fanbase!!

Once again...

Rob and Kristen live their lives the way they want to

and they get vilified.

What did they do wrong exactly?

A wonderful adorable couple who loves music

decided on going to a famous music festival together.

That's ALL they did.

Honestly...

You have to be used to this by now.

Rob and Kristen keep showing up together

all over the fucking place...

They have for YEARS.

What part of that don't you fucking get?

Rob and Kristen always end up together.

Because that's exactly where they want to be.

As for The Hunger Games fandom?

They have plenty of vacancies available.

I hear they are looking for a few more Fringe

to up the entertainment value.

Please.

Go.

Now.

Hurry.

So what have we learned today?

Well.

I guess its that tired old adage

"The more things change...

The more they remain the same"

Haters gotta hate.

And make excuses.

And I will continue to mock their hate

and laugh at their delusional rationalizations.

This post is brought to you by TWIRLING

Because Rob and Kristen in love makes me twirl.

They are happy in love...

So I'm happy for them.

And of course...

This post is brought to you by

THOMAS STURRIDGE

I'm too sexy for my coat...

It was confirmed that Tom would be in Cannes with Kristen

for the OTR screening.

Imagine.

Tom and Kristen and Rob

Oh My.

Doesn't all this wonderful news make you smile?

So much to look forward to...

So much to be happy about.

Smile.

Life is GOOD.

Until next time.

Bye for now