I don't hate Kristen Stewart.
Yes.
I'm disappointed.
I'm confused.
I'm trying to wrap my head around all of it.
It's not working.
I feel sorrow.
Sorry for the innocent people this has hurt.
Sorry for the hatred that this fandom is seething with.
Sorry that sometimes sorry
isn't enough.
Kristen didn't betray me.
Everything I did for and about her...
I did for me.
No one forced me to go to her movies
or buy her magazine covers...
Or rush to her defense.
And contrary to popular opinion
No one made me love her.
And him.
Together.
I did that on my own.
And I have no regrets over the last 4 years.
I would do it all again.
And guess what?
I still feel protective over her.
Can't help it.
I get if you feel betrayed.
I get that you are mad.
I even get if you don't like her anymore.
But the violent hatred I have seen online
makes me nauseous.
I don't condone having affairs with married men.
It's wrong.
It's destructive.
It's completely selfish.
And it makes no fucking sense.
I admit that I'm overly invested in this.
I loved both Rob and Kristen.
But my biggest clue was that I was physically ill this morning.
As in throwing up.
Sick.
Over this.
Over two people's relationship.
And I'm not one of the people.
It shouldn't affect me this strongly.
But it does.
Look...
I will always be a fan of Robert Pattinson.
I fucking adore him.
Forever.
As for Kristen...
I can't turn my back on her.
Even now.
I need to see how this all plays out.
I need to know ...
That they are BOTH OK.
I will still care about Robert and Kristen
Together. Or apart.
Kristen released a statement today regarding this whole thing...
I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment
I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected.
This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life,
the person I love and respect the most, Rob.
I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry.
I love him.
I love him.
I'm so sorry.
What was left of my heart... shattered.
What remains to be seen...
Is how Robert handles all this.
I wish that they could just figure it out on their own.
Without the whole fucking world watching them.
Judging them.
I feel protective over Rob... too.
He loved her so.
She made him so happy.
And that made me happy.
I can't imagine anyone doing this to him.
Especially Kristen.
Kristen is flawed.
So is Robert.
Human. Imperfect.
We have no idea what is happening with them...
or why.
We see tiny glimpses into their lives
Glimpses that we probably don't deserve.
Are you without flaws?
Have you never hurt someone you love?
Whether Kristen is forgiven or not
isn't up to you.
Or me.
Just Rob.
This is their relationship.
It's between them.
Only them.
We are outside... looking in.
We don't belong inside.
This post is brought to you by my heart.
It aches for Robert.
It's sad for Kristen.
It's hurting for this fandom...
who have loved Rob and Kristen
so well for so long.
Where do we go from here?
Will they find happy again?
Will we?
One last thing.
Don't make me choose.
It will be him.
It's always been him.
Bye for now
