Dear George...

Remember George?

He is my stuffed St. Bernard that

I have had since I was 9 years old.

 whenever I wrote in my journal

I always wrote it to George.

He was kinda my substitute for 

"Dear Diary"

I thought it was time to write to him again.

It's OK.

He can keep a secret.

Anyway...

Dear George.

Hi George,

 Long time no write.

 It's not that I don't have anything to say 

(we both know that would never be true)

 it's more like I'm not sure what to say

 or quite how to say it. 

I've been reflecting on the last few weeks 

in the Rob/Kristen fandom 

and trying to put my thoughts into words...

not an easy thing to do sometimes.

I guess the biggest realization is

 'can't win for losing'

I'm STILL a fan of Rob and Kristen.

 Together. Apart. Whatever.

For some reason people have a hard time with this.

I don't know why it matters to

 anyone else who I like

(or don't like)

if I talk about Kristen... 

well then I'm not Rob's fan

if I talk about Rob... 

of course that means I'm betraying Kristen somehow.

 See what I mean, George?

People need to realize that being a fan 

is all about ebb and flow. 

Sometimes there is a lot going on with one...

 over the other 

so naturally that's what you talk about.

Simple logic... right?

At least it should be.

 But alas, nothing is ever simple in this fandom.

 Or logical.

People are strange, George. 

I really haven't said much about 

Robs relationship with Twigs. 

Mostly because there isn't much for me TO say.

But at least I can admit there is a relationship...

 unlike some people.

(Give up on the marriage/baby bullshit already, OK?

Rob and Kristen would NEVER be in a relationship for PR)

I don't hate Twigs... 

I don't particularly like her either.

When I think about her 

I physically shrug my shoulders.

But you know me, George... 

I'm not going to hate on Twigs just  

because Rob is dating her now. 

It really doesn't matter if I like it or not... 

does it? 

Besides... I don't want to be like the 

Robsessed Nonstens who have hated on Kristen 

for the past 6 years.

Who needs all that bitter in their life?

I do find the whole 'Twigbert'

 thing pretty hilarious though

Gotta admit.

All the years of being called a Robsten Shipper

and now to have those same people 

fawning all over Twigs and shipping Rob and her...

Funny shit, George. Hilarious shit.

They are oohing and awing over her every move

because that's what "REAL" fans do.

I saw her on Fallon, George. 

I liked what she did with the huge scarves... very cool. 

Her singing? Not so much. Not my thing.

Can't pretend otherwise.

I wish this meant they would back the hell off Kristen 

(of course they won't...

they still discuss her and 2012 every day. 

Every fucking day. 

I bet a Ninnie somewhere is 

talking 'mini cooper' right now. Wanna bet?)

Everyone knows that 99% of their adoration 

is because she's NOT Kristen. 

You know how it goes, George...

"ANYONE BUT KRISTEN"

There has been some comparison of Rob/Twigs to 

John Lennon and Yoko Ono 

(and I have to admit, George... 

when I saw recent pics... 

John Lennon did pop into my head)

You KNOW I have been a major Beatles fan 

since I was just a wee lass, 

so I know a bit about the whole Yoko deal... 

and to be honest, George... 

there are a few similarities.

Yoko was blamed for everything.

She supposedly broke up the Beatles!

Well according to disgruntled fans anyway.

Its easy to pin the blame on 

the quirky, weird avant-garde artist

who has seemingly bewitched their beloved hero.

Suddenly they're not the 'same' anymore

 They wear strange clothes. 

They behave differently. 

They don't look like themselves...

And it's all HER fault. 

The thing is.. people change. They grow.

No one remains the same forever... 

and who would want to?

Do I think Rob is influenced by Twigs? 

Absolutely.

Aren't we all influenced by 

the people closest to us?

Whether we like it or not.

It is what it is.

I can't tell you how indifferent I am..

How extremely nonchalant 

I am about their relationship.

I was overly invested in Rob/Kristen 

Never again.

Thank GOD I learned my lesson years ago.

It makes things so much easier.

You live.

You learn.

I will ALWAYS love and be grateful 

for all the years that

Rob and Kristen gave us.

It doesn't diminish what 

they shared together.

Memories... light the corners of my mind...

Years of watching them fall in love... 

sharing a life.

No one can ever take that away from them... 

from us.

It was a wonderful ride. 

We had a lot of laughs.

We had a good run... didn't we?

And while Rob and Kristen are 

now riding in separate cars,

It's OK... It really is.

I think they are both where 

they want to be right now.

They both seem happy.

What more can you demand ask?

Misty water-colored memories... of the Way We Were.

And besides... you know how it goes.

There is nothing to say that the road 

they are on right now

won't someday intersect with the other...

You never know, George... You never know.

(This is where I add "love is long"... 

because well... it is)

Love is LONG.

Final Thoughts for the day, George.

1. Thanks for listening. 

You are a captive audience as always.

2. Some people still seem to think its my job 

to police the fandom. 

I'm supposed to "do something" about the hatred 

that is spewed out there. 

Like what exactly? 

Throw them in cyber jail?

I don't remember being given a badge. 

(but it would kinda be cool 

if you have one lying about)

Here's the deal.

I'm not responsible for what other people say.

That goes for people who follow me

 or whom I follow.

Just because I talk to someone 

who has a certain opinion...

Doesn't mean I share that opinion. 

The world is made of of DIFFERING opinions.

That's what makes it interesting.

If I only talked to people who agreed

 with my point of view 

it would not only be incredibly boring... 

but I'm sure the number of people 

I actually talked to would be quite small. 

What fun is that? 

And why would anyone limit yourself 

like that on a SOCIAL PLATFORM?

I am only responsible for my 

own words and actions.

I stand by every one.

I still adore BOTH Rob and Kristen 

and remain a fan of their work... 

and I can guarantee you have 

NEVER seen me disparage either of them. 

EVER.

And you never will.

If you have a problem with something I have said?

Come talk to me and discuss it like an adult.

If you have a problem with something 

someone else has said?

Don't complain to me. 

Go to the source and deal with it.

Or you can lock and block 

and mute or unfollow.

Whatever floats your boat.

The Queen of Sundance.

3. Kristen attended the 

AFI Indie Contenders Roundtable.

Cool beans, George.

She was in awesome company 

and got to discuss her upcoming incredible movies.

You know, George...

I have always hesitated using 

the word "proud" in relation to people 

I don't personally know...

But dammit.

I'm fucking proud of her.

She's worked so hard. 

She's come so far.

And she deserves every bit of

 praise and admiration she is getting right now.

I'm looking forward to seeing more 

promo for her movies.

I can't wait.

She is endlessly interesting and captivating.

I couldn't be more thrilled 

and happy for her.

I. Adore. Her.

4. Oh dear Rob.

He shaved and cut his hair, George.

I'm wondering what it will look like without the hat.

I kinda feel how Rob looks in this picture.

Scared.

Wary.

But there is GOOD news!

BOTH Rob and Kristen are going 

to be at the Hollywood Film Awards this Friday. 

AND it's on TV!!

CAREER NEWS!!!

Unfortunately I already have plans so 

I won't be able to watch "Live"... 

but maybe that's just as well considering 

the drama at just the fact that 

Rob and Kristen would both be attending.

Might as well get used to it.

It's going to happen from time to time.

That's what happens when people 

make movies and go to festivals 

and award shows. 

I'm sure this is only the beginning.

5. I will never forget this... 

and forever want to see it again.

6. I adore shaggy beardy Tom.

Hell. I just adore Tom. Period.

This post has been brought 

to you by acceptance.

It really does bring peace.

Really.

Thanks George.

Until next time.

Bye for now

October 20, 2008

It's been 6 years.

Six.

To be honest...

I kinda forgot about the day I started this blog.

It was Oct 20, 2008

In the beginning...

My posts were all about 

Robert and Edward.

Yes. Edward.

This was before Twilight even came out.

I was completely intoxicated with

Edward Cullen.

A book character.

Something that had never happened

to me before

And then...

the intoxication led me to Rob.

And then I became completely 

enamored with an actor.

NEVER

EVER

has that happened to me

before or since.

I didn't get it.

I was bamboozled
Permuddled

Confuzzuled

(how Dr.Seuss of me)

I couldn't wrap my head around

the fact that I was so infatuated

with this character

and the man who played him.

So I started this blog.

6 years ago.

Trying to figure out why.

I never really found my answer.

But I learned a lot.

About people.

About fandoms.

About Robert.

About Kristen.

About Robert and Kristen.

I saw early on that there was 

something happening between them.

By October 28th 
Just 8 days later...

I was already posting about their

on and offline chemistry.

From a post on Oct 28, 2008

"I wanted to talk about chemistry. 

As in on screen chemistry.

 As in Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. 

They have it. And better yet, they have it off screen as well.

 I think it is so obvious that there was 

a little sumthin sumthin going on between these two...

beyond Edward and Bella.

 I have watched all the videos of the two of them...

and they are just so INTIMATE with each other. 

The way they look at one another...

the way Kristen touches Roberts face 

(and that, my friends, is intimate), 

the way they couldn't keep their eyes off

 of each other at Comic Con...

their body language on and off screen. 

But especially off screen,

 because they are always touching...always close.

Now, I know that they are supposed 

to be dating other people or whatever.

 But there is definitely something there.

 I don't care what anyone says.

 And if they get right back into making "New Moon"

 (oh please Lord)

 they will get right back into their chemistry."

Yeah.
So... it really wasn't about 'shipping' for me.
(Never really has been.)
And it most certainly had nothing to do
with me confusing Edward and Bella
with Rob and Kristen.
It was just... Sweet.
Seeing these two people
falling in love with each other
from the beginning...

I found that the more I got to know Kristen
The more I liked Kristen.

It was fun watching them interact with each other
Look at each other
Try not to look at each other
Touch each other
Try not to touch each other.
It was fascinating
and oh so lovely.

I can't tell you how many times
I watched this Empire video back in the day...
They completely intrigued me.
(and yeah, not sure why)
Every moment they are together
you see the magnetic pull
Sometimes they try to fight it
But watch at the end...
Kristen looks quickly at Rob
Rob responds
without even looking at her.
Completely Connected.
That's the kinda stuff I mean.
(And can I just say...
how fucking cute is Rob in this video?
It makes me sooo nostalgic
for these early days *sigh*)

That was then. 
This is now.

 6 years.
 And I've always been behind
Rob and Kristen.
Always.
Even 2 years ago
when things became... difficult
I never turned my back on them.

And I'm not doing that now.
Some people confuse
logic and honesty
for not 'believing' in Rob and Kristen.
I will always believe in them.

But now if you don't think
Rob and Kristen are married and together
You are labeled a 'hater'
Seriously?
I see things as they are.
I don't necessarily LIKE what I see right now...
But I'm not going to pretend I don't see it.

I would love to frolic in 3D Land with you
1-Delusional
2-Desperate
3-Denial

But I don't like it there.
Nothing makes sense in that land
It's actually rather creepy.
Some people are scary.
Up is down
In is out
Under is over
babies are invisible
love is based on hoodies and lies
and cousins- oh my!
There are conspiracies everywhere...
3D land gives me a headache.
It makes me nauseous.
No thanks.

But I'm still here.
I still adore BOTH Rob and Kristen.
I'm still interested in what they do
and what they have to say.
And I will always
Always
Have hope that they will find their way
back together again.
Because yes...
Love is fucking LONG.

So let's talk about
Nicholas Hoult.
(again)

If you mention his name
in the same sentence as Kristen
you are SHIPPING them together!
Good fucking grief.

1. I will never ship another couple again.
Ever.

2. I happen to like Nicholas Hoult. 
If I want to talk about him.
I will.
I think he's cute.
I love his voice.
I don't see why that's a bad thing... You know?



If he hangs out with Kristen...
Lucky him.
And if he doesn't?
I still will think he's cute
and I still will talk about him.

3. I will never ship another couple.
Ever.
Ever.

4. I will never ship another couple.
Ever.
Ever.
Ever.

5. You get the point right?
I don't need 4-Evers
Do I?

So yeah.

6 years.

72 months 

312 weeks

2190 days

That I have been in
Rob and Kristen's corner.
Happy for them.
Defending them.
Adoring them.

So don't fucking tell me
that I'm not anywhere
but HERE.
Where I have been from the beginning.
Where I will probably always be.


Happy Anniversary RPI

I can't wait to see
what's around the next corner.


This post is brought to you by...

The number 6

6 members of the BritPack

And isn't it great that these guys
are still such good friends?
Doesn't that make you smile?

6 years
of loving 
and
watching
two
endlessly 
fascinating 
people.

6 years
of finding
out
all about
Tom Sturridge
and 
loving
every moment.

6 years
and 6 random pictures
(out of so so many)
(how does one choose??)
of Rob walking...

Still intoxicating
after all these years.

Until next time.

Bye for now.

Happy Halloween!