Dear George- The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

Hi George!

Long time no write.

It's not that I don't have anything to talk about

with you, George...

It's that sometimes the idiocy...

The lunacy

The fucking absolute CRAZY

bullshit hyperbole of this fandom
wears a person down.

Ya know?

So guess what happened yesterday, George?
Come on...
I know you're a smart old dog.
OK.
I'll tell you.

Pictures of Rob and Kristen
TOGETHER
(Because we all know, George...
that's how they always end up)
were leaked to the media.

Where is her hand?

And you know what happened next?
Well, George...
Pretty much what happens everyday in this fandom...
DRAMA.
amplified
exaggerated
magnified
  a million more times than necessary.

See...
On my side of the fandom
There was happy...
People were laughing and smiling
Maybe even a bit of twirling here and there...
and enjoying seeing two people
who belong TOGETHER
(Because we all know, George...

that's how they always end up)

But on the 'other' side, George?
The dark and bitter side...
Oh.
It wasn't pretty.
It's a good thing you aren't a puppy anymore
Or I might not let you read this.
It might scare you anyway.
(scary bitches be scary)

These so called 'fans' of Robert's...
pretty much started berating him for being with her.
Calling him all kinds of names...
and of course
Calling her all kinds of names, too.
Because what's a day in this fandom
without some Kristen hating?

Familiar smile at a familiar face...

I don't really need to go into detail
Do I, George?
You kinda know how it goes.
The Ninnies have been regurgitating
the same tired excuses ever since
Rob and Kristen became a couple.
(And what's that, George?
Why yes...
They DO always end up together!
Good Boy!)

The reactions were right out of the
Ninnie Guide to Delusional Rationalization.
Predictable as saying the sun will come out tomorrow.
(Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...
there'll be sun!)

I bet you think I'm going to say that the idiots
need to read their Public Relations for Ninnies...
But no, George...
I'm not.
There is no source of material out there
 that will ever penetrate the tinfoil hats

to make the fools understand what PR truly is.
You can't teach old hyenas new tricks.

But I would like to send a copy of this book
over to Summit
and Rob and Kristen's management.
Because they are failing MISERABLY
at using Rob and Kristen to promote BD2.
Seriously.
They suck.
Like a vacuum.
Like the fucking black hole.
So many opportunities squandered!
So many photo-ops lost!

Arguing? HAHAHAHAHA. Nice try.

Let's have Rob and Kristen stand around discussing something
with a group of their friends...
because THAT fucking sells.
Doesn't it make you want to go run out and buy tickets
to see BD2, George??
Doesn't this SCREAM at you
PUBLICITY STUNT?
I know, George... I know...
Even a stuffed dog can see through that bullshit.

Couple of things.
(Cover your ears, George)

1. It doesn't really matter what they are doing in the pics.
What matters is they are together.
As always.
(Never really apart)
Rob wants to be with Kristen.
Kristen wants to be with Rob.
And lo and behold...
There they are
TOGETHER.

2. Seriously.
If you for one second...
Consider that Rob is being forced to hang out with her...
or that he is doing this for money
 to promote a movie that needs no promoting...
If you really believe Rob is so shallow
and a lying fake who prostitutes himself
for FOUR YEARS for box office receipts
If you truly think so little of him...
and disregard his own words
where he says he would NEVER do that
or let a studio do that to him...
Then you are NO FAN of Robert Pattinson.

GET OFF HIS DICK.


So in closing...

"Jesus"

Rob was at some ELLE award thingamajig
giving out something to Uma Thurman.
He looks pretty damn good... doesn't he, George?
I bet you wanna lick that face... right?
Anyway.
Rob gave this little speech before handing out the award...
and George...
Oh dear. Oh my.
Robert was the most adorable, awkward
charming and funny presenter
EVER.
Go watch the speech, George...
GO NOW.
Rob makes me smile.
And tell me George...
Isn't his unshaven
kinda greasy hair
reminiscent of earlier days?

Keep applausing...

Yeah.
I thought so too.

It seems like we are back in 2009 in a lot of ways, George.
And that's OK.
Because the more things change...
The more they stay the same.
And one thing we know, George...
Rob and Kristen
Always
End
Up
TOGETHER.
That will never change.

This post is brought to you
by my complete adoration for
Thomas Sturridge.

I yam what I yam.

Until next time.


Bye for now

Rob and Kristen- Unsolved Mysteries

This is some good shit.

Truly.

And by shit... 

I mean shit.

The 'fandom' was ablaze yesterday

(and I quote fandom because I really don't 

think most of the people in it

are actually fans at all)

because some pictures came out of 

Rob talking to a *gasp*

You better sit down.

Deep breaths

Ready?

A GIRL!!!!

And as usual this community of people

didn't let me down.

Reactions were EVER so much better

than the action.

We got the Ninnies screeching 

ROB IS SINGLE!

KSLUT IS GETTING WHAT SHE DESERVES!

EAT IT SHEEP!

WE WIN!

We get the Berts whining

ROB IS A CHEATER!

HE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME!

We get the Robsesssed preaching

I DON'T CARE WHO HE IS WITH

AS LONG AS HE IS HAPPY!

(and as long as it's not with Kristen)

We get the Shaky Shippers

who flip out over everything

no matter what happens.

ROB IS WEARING WHITE!!

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??

WHY IS HE TALKING TO THAT GIRL?

HE BELONGS TO KRISTEN!!

And of course the fans who just

believe that Rob and Kristen are together

and don't let a picture turn them into lunatics.

(like me of course!)

The few.

The sane.

The rational.

Unfortunately those fans aren't as entertaining...

Ha.

So here's what I think...

Remember this picture?

I kinda cropped out the two (very pretty) girls

(didn't know if they would want to be on my blog)

who very cleverly took this picture.

It was taken the same night as the MYSTERY blonde.

What do we see?

Well.

We see Rob...eyes glowing with the white t-shirt

standing behind a group of people sitting down.

Guy with black shirt and beard

(mystery beard?)

(WHO IS HE??? WHY IS HE NEXT TO TOM??)

(WHY DOESN'T ANYONE ASK WHO HE IS??)

Then we got the ever adorable

Thomas Sturridge

And then...

THE BLONDE.

Yeah. The same one.

Now...

She's sitting next to Tom in this picture...

So we can assume he knows her?

And the girls who took the picture said it was Sienna.

Kinda makes sense.

Right?

Needless to say

whoever she is?

Obviously a friend of this group.

Ah yes.

The picture of Rob getting his 'flirt' on

Well... according to the fools who keep screaming 

Rob is single!

But who also are the first to claim that Rob has sold his soul

to Summit for untold riches and kingdoms

if he is in a fauxmance with Kristen.

So what is he?

Single? PR relationship?

He can't do both... can he?

He can't 'pretend' to be with Kristen

for the sake of movie box office

and take weekends off?

How does that work?

You can't just howl PR when it's a convenient excuse

to explain Rob and Kristen being together...

Idiots.

If you look at this picture...

You see Mystery beard

(I demand to know who he is!!)
Thomas

The lucky blonde.

And of course... Rob.

So who is she?

(Is it wrong that I envy her for being sandwiched 

between Tom and Rob?)

Is it Sienna?

Possibly.

There is talk of her sister Savannah being in NYC

and I can see her hanging with this group.

But honestly...

Does it REALLY matter?

It shouldn't.

But in this fandom...

People pounce on what they can to 

fit their agenda.

Rob is talking to someone

who is obviously in his group of friends.

That's all you see.

He's laughing... drinking

He's having a good time.

He's not sad. Or timid.

Or a cheater.

If you want to take something so ordinary...

so normal

and try to make it out to be some sort of salacious revenge?

Some BIG drama?

Enjoy it while you can.

Keep in mind the time Rob was next 

to a girl in a car

THE BIG DEAL that became

Yeah.

Whatever happened to that girl?

What was her name?

Never to be seen near Rob again.

And although they are keeping a low profile

right now...

and I don't blame them at all

I have no doubts where Rob's heart is.

(and every other part of him... most days of the week)

With Kristen.

Why do I say that?

Because of what I've seen.

What I know.

And until I see otherwise?

It's what I believe.

Honestly...

Wouldn't you LOVE to see Kristen 

out and about wearing Rob's newly acquired

NYC beanie?

So I will focus on what is to come.

Rob and Kristen

Together.

Because that's how they always end up.

This post is brought to you by one of my very

favorite movies quotes... ever.

I have it in my bio on Twitter...

because truth is fucking truth.

The past and the future is a joke to me now. 

I see that they're nothing. 

I see they ain't here.

 The only thing that's here is You - and Me.

Until next time

Bye for now

Rob and Kristen- Like Magnets

The way you move — you orient yourself around him without even thinking about it.

 When he moves, even a little bit, you adjust your position at the same time.

 Like magnets… or gravity.

 You’re like a… satellite, or something.

This always happens.

I go away for a few days...

And my email is overflowing.

I was going to share some of the more interesting

and amusing ALL CAPS SHOUTY emails with you...

But maybe another time.

Because I'm distracted.

By stuff...

First off...

We got this.

Lots and lots of this.

Yeah.

Robert walking is intoxicating to me.

I'm sorry.

But it is.

Maybe to the ordinary person...

There isn't anything special about the way Robert walks

But its more than that to me.

There has always been this kind of adorable

awkward charm to the way he moves.

Maybe it's because he knows he's being watched

and photographed

and studied

(Sorry Rob)

I don't know.

But seeing pictures of Robert walking...

make me smile.

And the Beat Goes On...

It sure does.

So Rob turns up in NYC to support

someone at something or other.

Sorry if the details escape me...

But it doesn't really matter.

"I miss you"

Kristen turns up at some concert in LA.

(OK, it was Florence and the Machine)

PapaStew was the BG of the night.

So what happens?

Well...

Lets see.

1. Rob and Kristen aren't in the same city.

They broke up.

2. Rob and Kristen are in the same city.

PR.

3. Rob is seeing his secret long suffering girlfriend Jessica.

4. Kristen is seen wearing the ring and necklace 

that Rob gave her.

Famewhore.

5. Rob is going out every weekend!

He is single.

6. Kristen is alone eating tacos

and going to concerts with her father.

Famewhore.

7. Various magazines and tabloids are declaring

that Rob and Kristen are back together!

Kristen and Summit OWN those media outlets!!

She controls US, People etc and tells them what to say!

8. This is ALL PR!!!

It will be PR until the DVD comes out!

My thoughts?

1 and 2. Rob and Kristen have been in different cities

so many times over the course of the last four years.

Why is it a big deal still?

I'm not sure why people always expect them to show up together

ALL THE TIME.

Especially now.

Close your eyes and imagine what would happen if

Rob and Kristen showed up in NYC.

What do you see?

Chaos?

Unbridled stalking and harassment?

Can you imagine how their showing up anywhere 

in a public situation would divert all attention

from the event... 

and how it would all be trained on them?

Why would they do that?

Why would they want to subject themselves to that?

3. The super secret girlfriend.

They even named her.

Kinda like a well loved puppy.

Jessica must really be special.

She manages to stay (kinda) secret for years...

She puts up with Rob kissing on

hanging out with...

Hugging. Touching.

Living with Kristen.

Wow.

Are we sure that Jessica isn't in fact a puppy?

You know...

Loyal. Loving.

You leave them for a while...

and they still are there waiting for you

when you come back

with tail wagging.

Blonde "Jessica"

4. It always comes back to the RING and the NECKLACE.

So much importance is placed on those 'tokens'.

Some people think they have debunked the significance of those items.

But just making up shit and stating it as fact

isn't debunking anything.

It's just rationalizations when you can't accept the truth.

What's true?

Those 2 items are obviously very important to Kristen.

She wears them ALL THE TIME.

She has stated in interviews what they mean...

and where she got them from.

Simple.

5. Yes... Rob has gone out without Kristen.

But he has also been seen with Kristen.

Again...

A picture of them together is big money.

You realize they are more aware of this than anyone... right?

You do realize that the last thing 

Rob and Kristen want to do

is give the paps what they want.

Right?

6. No matter what Kristen does...

She will be called nasty vile names.

She breathes.

She's doing it for attention.

I have never understood how people can claim

that Kristen is desperate for attention.

Does she look like someone who wants that?

Has she ever?

Kristen could become a nun...

and people would find fault.

Sup Haters?

7. I love how idiots claim that Kristen's 'people'

are the ones running to People/US/whoever else.

Kristen has such power over these media outlets!

She tells them what to say!

She tells them what to hide!

Oh except to stop them from posting the original pictures.

Just that.

Otherwise she is the all encompassing evil of the world!!

8. And last but never least...

The ongoing "PR" claim.

I know you all find this as tedious as I do.

So...

Rob and Kristen are only back together

(except they never truly broke up)

to promote BD2?

So...

Why in hell aren't they out there doing their job?

Why didn't Kristen go to NY?

Why haven't they been parading around their 'togetherness'?

Wouldn't this be the most opportune time to do just that?

But no.

Rob and Kristen aren't on anyone's clock.

They don't prostitute out their private lives

for anyone.

Sure... they will make red carpet appearances

and other public functions...

But no one is telling them what to do 

on their personal time.

They aren't puppets performing on command.

Rob and Kristen show up together.

PR.

Rob and Kristen don't show up together.

They broke up.

You can't have it both ways.

 If Rob is indeed single...

How would he possibly be able to 

portray himself as part of a PR couple?

Sense.

Try and make some.

Just once.

Right now idiots are clinging to the release

of the BD2 DVD as the last gasp of PR.

What will they blame it on when they are still together?

What voodoo PR theory will they come up with next?

I'm sure the collective Ninnie minds

are already trying to come up with something...

It might take a while.

OK.

On to better things.

And what is better than Rob walking?

What I ask you...

What?

Shaggy and Scrappy together again!!

Rob and Tom walking!!

I mean...

Seriously.

Wait.

**deep breath**

OK.

Robert.

Thomas.

Together.

Walking.

Beanies.

Scruffy.

**deep breath**

How completely adorable are they?

Truly.

Intoxicating.

This makes up for all the bullshit drama

that is for the most part...

Self inflicted.

People concern themselves with things that don't matter.

Get worked up over trivial shit.

Rob and Kristen are...

and always have been...

Together.

Isn't that the way they always end up?

Why yes...

Yes it is.

This post is brought to you by Magnets.

Which we know Rob and Kristen are to each other.

It's hard to come between magnets 

and pull them apart.

The force is strong.

Force = Love

Ask not what Rob and Kristen 

can do for us...

Ask what we can do for Rob and Kristen.

Until next time.

Bye for now.

Rob and Kristen- Whispers

Kristen: I Love You

Rob: I Love You, too

Kristen: Prove it. Scream it to the world!

Rob: *Whispers in ear*  I Love You.

Kristen: Why did you whisper it to me?

Rob: Because You are my World.


******************************************************

Until next time.

Bye for now