Dear George- The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

Hi George!

Long time no write.

It's not that I don't have anything to talk about

with you, George...

It's that sometimes the idiocy...

The lunacy

The fucking absolute CRAZY

bullshit hyperbole of this fandom
wears a person down.

Ya know?

So guess what happened yesterday, George?
Come on...
I know you're a smart old dog.
OK.
I'll tell you.

Pictures of Rob and Kristen
TOGETHER
(Because we all know, George...
that's how they always end up)
were leaked to the media.

Where is her hand?

And you know what happened next?
Well, George...
Pretty much what happens everyday in this fandom...
DRAMA.
amplified
exaggerated
magnified
  a million more times than necessary.

See...
On my side of the fandom
There was happy...
People were laughing and smiling
Maybe even a bit of twirling here and there...
and enjoying seeing two people
who belong TOGETHER
(Because we all know, George...

that's how they always end up)

But on the 'other' side, George?
The dark and bitter side...
Oh.
It wasn't pretty.
It's a good thing you aren't a puppy anymore
Or I might not let you read this.
It might scare you anyway.
(scary bitches be scary)

These so called 'fans' of Robert's...
pretty much started berating him for being with her.
Calling him all kinds of names...
and of course
Calling her all kinds of names, too.
Because what's a day in this fandom
without some Kristen hating?

Familiar smile at a familiar face...

I don't really need to go into detail
Do I, George?
You kinda know how it goes.
The Ninnies have been regurgitating
the same tired excuses ever since
Rob and Kristen became a couple.
(And what's that, George?
Why yes...
They DO always end up together!
Good Boy!)

The reactions were right out of the
Ninnie Guide to Delusional Rationalization.
Predictable as saying the sun will come out tomorrow.
(Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow...
there'll be sun!)

I bet you think I'm going to say that the idiots
need to read their Public Relations for Ninnies...
But no, George...
I'm not.
There is no source of material out there
 that will ever penetrate the tinfoil hats

to make the fools understand what PR truly is.
You can't teach old hyenas new tricks.

But I would like to send a copy of this book
over to Summit
and Rob and Kristen's management.
Because they are failing MISERABLY
at using Rob and Kristen to promote BD2.
Seriously.
They suck.
Like a vacuum.
Like the fucking black hole.
So many opportunities squandered!
So many photo-ops lost!

Arguing? HAHAHAHAHA. Nice try.

Let's have Rob and Kristen stand around discussing something
with a group of their friends...
because THAT fucking sells.
Doesn't it make you want to go run out and buy tickets
to see BD2, George??
Doesn't this SCREAM at you
PUBLICITY STUNT?
I know, George... I know...
Even a stuffed dog can see through that bullshit.

Couple of things.
(Cover your ears, George)

1. It doesn't really matter what they are doing in the pics.
What matters is they are together.
As always.
(Never really apart)
Rob wants to be with Kristen.
Kristen wants to be with Rob.
And lo and behold...
There they are
TOGETHER.

2. Seriously.
If you for one second...
Consider that Rob is being forced to hang out with her...
or that he is doing this for money
 to promote a movie that needs no promoting...
If you really believe Rob is so shallow
and a lying fake who prostitutes himself
for FOUR YEARS for box office receipts
If you truly think so little of him...
and disregard his own words
where he says he would NEVER do that
or let a studio do that to him...
Then you are NO FAN of Robert Pattinson.

GET OFF HIS DICK.


So in closing...

"Jesus"

Rob was at some ELLE award thingamajig
giving out something to Uma Thurman.
He looks pretty damn good... doesn't he, George?
I bet you wanna lick that face... right?
Anyway.
Rob gave this little speech before handing out the award...
and George...
Oh dear. Oh my.
Robert was the most adorable, awkward
charming and funny presenter
EVER.
Go watch the speech, George...
GO NOW.
Rob makes me smile.
And tell me George...
Isn't his unshaven
kinda greasy hair
reminiscent of earlier days?

Keep applausing...

Yeah.
I thought so too.

It seems like we are back in 2009 in a lot of ways, George.
And that's OK.
Because the more things change...
The more they stay the same.
And one thing we know, George...
Rob and Kristen
Always
End
Up
TOGETHER.
That will never change.

This post is brought to you
by my complete adoration for
Thomas Sturridge.

I yam what I yam.

Until next time.


Bye for now

The Good, The Bad and The George.

See how easy he is to talk to?

Dear George,

It's been a while...huh?

Sorry.

I guess that I like to write to you when there is something

fascinating to write about.

And boy oh boy Georgie...

We got ourselves a doozy.

Oh dear.

I'm not even sure where to begin, George...

Because it's kinda bittersweet.

OK.

Let's start at the beginning.

The Good.

The Bad.

The Ugly.

Say what you will... but he only has eyes for HER.

Let's set the stage, George.

There was a picture released yesterday.

A picture that although it is EVERYwhere at the moment...

I hesitate posting it.

I don't know.

You know how I am George.

Anyway.

This picture was taken the other night

showing Robert sitting at a table...

With Kristen standing behind him

with her arms draped around him.

Yes.

I know, George...

So let's see what's good

GOOD/SWEET

1. Well George...

Upon first look

You see Rob and Kristen all together and cute

being all normal and sweet

Hanging out at a party...

You know what I mean, George?

Acting like Rob and Kristen.

A typical couple.

2 people who spend their time together.

Together.

It's not the greatest picture, George...

Let's face it.

But it clearly shows Robert and Kristen

being

Robert and Kristen.

Kinda how we know they always are.

(and we do know that... don't we, George)

See.

That's the Good part.

The sweet part.

Being able to see them naturally together.

But then if you start to think about it George...

You see the bad.

The Bad

2. The bad part George?

The bad part is that Rob and Kristen can never relax.

They can't just be at a friends party...

And let their guard down completely.

Someone is always around to sell them out.

To betray them.

I can guarantee you something, George.

A. Whoever took that picture and posted it....

Won't be invited back.

Ever.

B. People wonder why Rob and Kristen

never totally can just be themselves.

This is why.

Someone is always out to steal their moments.

Their time.

Their peace.

Someone is always out there

acting like a friend...

Smiling to your face

Stabbing you in the back.

Nothing good about that.

I know its only a picture, George.

And its pretty tame as pictures go...

But if you look at the picture

and you see Robert's face?

You know.

So does he.

There are plenty of pics of them TOGETHER.

And now the UGLY, George.

Plenty of that.

Because this picture got dissected.

Regurgitated.

Twisted and turned...

It got studied and enlarged

and George?

Ugly can be amusing.

Because its 

UGLY/BITTER

Don't ever turn your back on a Hyena...

3. So much ugly, George.

So much.

The red circles and arrows

were thrown out at a record pace..

Rob's head is over here...not there!

People had to try so hard...

So very hard, George

To try and disprove what was 

once again

right in front of their face.

People went to all sorts of trouble

working overtime 

scouring the Internet for pictures

For proof

For ANYTHING

That could make that picture be a fake.

It's standard operating procedure for them

to immediately cry "MANIP"

at a picture of Robert and Kristen together.

And if MANIP doesn't work...

They scream PR!

Always an excuse at the ready.

And then guess what happened, George?

If they can't prove the pic is fake...

Then let's attack Kristen!

Her hair.

Her clothes.

How she clings to Robert

(like you fucking wouldn't if he was yours)

It never ends, George.

Of course...

The picture was planted by Kristen!!
THAT'S IT!!!

She wanted it out there

for some voodoo foamy imaginary damage control

Because we all know Kristen doesn't get enough attention

as it is, George...

Oh no...

She needs MORE.

She demands that people fucking betray her 

private moments to the Internet!

Makes perfect sense, George...

If you have rabies.

And I know Rabies touches a bit close to home for a dog...

(Cujo and all that... hahahaha)

But these people truly are rabid hyenas, George...

This lunatic fringe

Who spew their bitter foam everywhere.

And George....

It's SO bitter

Be careful not to come in contact with it

Because I bet it fucking BURNS.

And more ugly?

Well suffice to say, George...

That whenever Robert doesn't do what the fringe wants...

They turn on him.

He's ruining his career.

He should know better.

Why is he hanging out with her?

What is he thinking?

Why doesn't he listen to US!

We know what he should do with his life

better than he does!!!

"Lie down with dogs wake up with fleas"

(Sorry again, George)

They prefer their Rob to be the manwhore

who gets drunk at bars 

instead of the boyfriend who spends time with his girl.

And see...

That's the point, George.

People can criticize Kristen and Robert

all they want...

But the bottom line?

Rob and Kristen 

ALWAYS

End up TOGETHER.

Some people will make excuses.

Some people will refuse to believe what is always

there in front of their faces...

But the fact of the matter is...

Rob and Kristen 

are in fact

TOGETHER.

Again.

And Again.

And Again.

(and again)

Makes you wonder, George...

Do you think they ever get tired of being 

WRONG?

Put your hand on my thigh... Whisper in my ear... Baby...

So what have we learned today, George?

The Good.

1. Rob and Kristen remain together.

As always.

The Bad.

2. Rob and Kristen need to tighten ranks

once again.

Wagons.

The Ugly.

3. The Hyenas will continue to foam and blather

and make excuses to placate themselves.

Usually at Kristen's expense.

But just taking the picture at face value

is good enough for me.

It shows two people who are comfortable

and intimate with each other.

And George...

This letter is brought to you by

THE GOOD

Thomas Sturridge.

That's GOOD.

Is he in a bathtub with a sweater on?

Shouldn't that sweater be the one with the duckies on it

if he is taking a bubble bath?

I can kinda make out Thomas...

But is that really supposed to be Sturridge?

He's really too fucking cute for words.

As always.

Thanks for listening George...

Until next time.

Bye for now

Dear Rob and Kristen... and George.

You can tell me anything...

Hi George.

I kept saying how much I missed Kristen's face...

and Lo and Behold...

She appeared.

(She's nice that way)

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with this picture.

 Looking luminous...

Lovely.

Look at her, George...

Doesn't she look happy?

Glowing?

In Love?

Yes.

Yes she does.

And we all know who she is in love with, George...

Her English boyfriend.

The man in her life

The ONLY man in her life.

Robert.

Pattinson.

What possible word describes this??

And there Kristen is...

all gorgeous in Dior Couture

for a Vanity Fair shoot.

How phenomenal is that??

How phenomenal does she look?

George...

Don't you feel like Kristen is growing up right

before our eyes?

Growing into a stunning woman.

Becoming comfortable in her own skin...

Finding out who she is

Owning it

And being damn happy about it.

So George...

Tell me something.

Why do people want to make such a BIG deal

about Kristen flipping the finger?

Why George?

It's just a finger after all.

Like she's never done it before?

Like she will never do it again?

So what?

Honestly George...

People just want to fucking WHINE

all the damn time.

Over a finger, George.

A fucking finger.

Personally?

It doesn't matter to me one way or another...

It's pretty obvious that I'm in no position to judge

Kristen's finger flipping...

I have a bit of a potty mouth myself

(you may have noticed)

I'm pretty sure no one else can judge her either...

But they do, George

They do.

I bet those grapes are BITTER.

Yes, George... I know.

It's always something.

If its not the finger...

Its the hair.

Or the makeup

or the clothes.

or her face

or her shoes

or the words she says

or the words she doesn't say...

it doesn't matter what she does

or how she does it...

They will always find a reason to judge her.

Have they ever posed like this... with anyone else?

But in the end, George

Who wins?

Who gets to be with Robert?

Because we all know he doesn't look at anyone

like he looks at Kristen...

Smile that smile...

He looks at her like she is the most beautiful girl he's ever seen

Like he can't get close enough...

He looks at her

Like she is the only person that matters.

(Like she's something to eat...)

Flaws and all.

He loves her.
And the really beautiful part, George?
It works both ways.
Kristen loves Rob.
Flaws and all.

So Kristen wins.

So does Robert.

They always do.

Oh My.

Temptation.
Seduction.
Obsession.

Intoxication.

I need this movie.

Please.

Come on George...

What's a girl gotta do to see this movie??

Move to Berlin?

I'm trying really hard to be patient, George...

But we all know it's not one of my virtues.

(Do I have virtues?)

OK George.

Here's a virtue

Hey... I got to keep the clothes...

My adoration for Tom Sturridge...

Does that work?

"a good or admirable quality"

Yeah George.

I think it does.

Nothing wrong with that.

Nothing at all.

Green Sheep.

You know it's true.

 

Flawed Perfection.

Why expect perfection from Kristen...

If you don't achieve perfection from yourself.
I kinda like my imperfections.
It's part of what I am.

With acceptance 

comes

Peace

This post is brought to you by mistakes.

Glass houses.

Throwing stones.

We've all been there.

Hopefully you learn something along the way.

Thanks for listening George

Until next time...

Bye for now