Rob and Kristen- Under the Microscope

Rob and Kristen!!!

1. Can you imagine living your life under such scrutiny

as Rob and Kristen?

Can you imagine having your picture taken...

Thousands of times

and then having people blow up each pixel

looking for flaws?

"Oh look a pimple!"

"Is that dandruff?"

"She has earwax!!"

Seriously.

So many pictures of Rob and Kristen are taken at events...

And what do people focus on?

The ones where their eyes are half open

or they are making a funny face because

in that split second...

They decided to breathe or blink.

Big Green Eyes... and they're as wide as the moon.

I think Kristen looks GORGEOUS here...

Look at that FACE.

And her eyes...

Well...

We all know what Robert thinks of them

Heh.

And lets talk about this 'event' that happened on Friday.

Kristen went to Paul McCartney's Video premiere.

Big Brouhaha (and really ha ha ha)

And OH MY!

So much fucking drama.

Let me count the ways!

1. Kristen wasn't with Rob!

I guess the surgery separating them at the hip worked!

Let's all forget how many times in the past weeks

that Rob and Kristen were seen together canoodling

and being all sweet and cute

(And really... Rob flew to Paris for her!!)

Let's just forget all the sightings of them being close

and holding hands and being Rob and Kristen.

YES.

Let's just focus on the fact that Kristen went to 

a work related event

(But damn... PAUL McCARTNEY!!! I want that job!!)

And Robert didn't turn up on her arm.

OH WOE IS ME!

As usual...

All past togetherness is negated so the 

Nervous Nellies who need constant

reassurance of the most fucking obvious relationship

can fuss and fret over where Rob was

and of course...

As SOON as Kristen or Rob show up anywhere 

without the other...

We get "THEY BROKE UP"

But wait... it gets better.

Where's the Ring! The RING??

2. The end of the world is upon us!!

Kristen wasn't wearing her rings!

APOCALYPSE!

ARMAGEDDON!

How can we possibly go on?

How??

The most amusing part of all this...

Is both sides of the lunatic fringe

put so much importance on Kristen's jewelry.

As much as the Scared Shippers cling to their

hopes and dreams of the meaning of the 'rings'

So do the Nasty Ninnies.

They notice what Kristen is wearing probably 

more than ANYONE.

"The better to criticize, my dear".

So when Kristen shows up without the all important

band of gold

(Is there a song in there somewhere?)

They cling to it as proof of a broken relationship.

And then next time Kris is wearing the rings?

Back to square one.

(Oh... and don't forget about the 'new' necklace. Bwahaha)

Round and Round you go...

Adorkable: See Robert Pattinson

He's just walking...

3. I said it on Twitter...

And it bears repeating

Robert on the set of REMEMBER ME

was one of the best Roberts EVER.

And walking Robert on the set of REMEMBER ME?

Well.

Suffice to say...

I'm feeling a little bit like the Wicked Witch

from the Wizard of Oz

What a world... what a world.

Truth is fucking Truth.

4. And is it possible?

Could it be?

MORE DRAMA?

Lunatic Fringe

There are going to be reshoots for BD2.

OH
MY
GOD!!!
How desperate is Summit for PR?

They are pretending to have reshoots

just so they can attach themselves to Cosmopolis!

At least that's what the Fringe would have you believe.

It's not strange at all to have to go back and do 

this sort of thing.

They have done it before.

Other movies have done it.

BD2 is 7 months away from release.

It's part of movie making.

The REAL problem is that Rob and Kristen

will be together on set again...

being Edward and Bella.

And that grates on the Fringe.

They pretend like Twilight is all over...

and act like there still isn't another movie still to come.

Fools.

Besides...

Rob and Kristen don't need anything to bring 

them together.

They already are together

in every way...

that matters.

I want to be Kristen!

So no amount of voodoo hating

on Rob and Kristen 

is going to change that.

EVER.

5. There really are a lot of silly names in this fandom.

The worst being 

Robsten

Nonsten

Nonbert

I can tolerate "Robsten" (barely)

only because it represents 2 people

who are very much together...

and in love.

But Nonsten... Nonbert?

Different sides of the same coin.

NO Kristen. NO Robert.

Hate is hate.

Whether its Rob or Kristen

It's pathetic.

Hating on either of them is never going to change

how they live their life.

Being a NON seems to give you the entitlement

to decide who/what is best for Rob and Kristen.

Like you have a say in what they do

And how they do it.

Sorry.

NONsense.

Rob and Kristen seem to have it figured out...

They've been doing just fine the last three years.

They don't want or need your input.

The BEST is yet to come

and won't that be fine...

You think you've seen the sun

But you ain't seen it shine.

Serious Sturridge

6. I love these pics of Tom from a modeling shoot.

He's all shaggy and serious...

And the pic on the left looks like it was taken

by Matthew Brady...

(Please tell me you know who I'm referring to...)

See what I mean?

He's kinda famous for taking pics of the 16th president...

(Please tell me you know who I'm referring to)

Which brings us back to my original thought.

I adore Thomas Sturridge whether he has a beard or not.

Whether he's serious or smiling

(although his smile breaks my heart)

And I'm hoping against hope

(is that possible?)

That Thomas goes to Cannes for OTR.

With Kristen.

And Robert.

And well...

Maybe I will just stop there.

Enough poking fun of the drama for today.

Nudge. Nudge.

Final thought?

Robert and Kristen

Are in Los Feliz

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love

Then comes...

Well... You know how it goes.

This post is brought to you by Rings.

Lord of the Rings.

Ringleader.

Ringo Starr.

Adoring.

Ring of the Nibelung.

And by birthday presents.

Another ring?

Until next time.

Bye for now

Wine, Popcorn and Robert Pattinson.

Let's all go to the lobby
Let's all go to the lobby
Let's all go to the lobby
To get ourselves a treat.

Got your popcorn?

A nice big glass of...

Well

Depending on what time of day

I guess it could be soda

or wine

or beer

or wine

Wine and Popcorn?

Oh hell...

Wine goes good with anything.

Or nothing.

Who needs popcorn?

I've decided to talk about Robert's movies today.

Since he's not giving me much else to discuss.

I mean..

How many times do I have to say 

Robert and Kristen are in love?

Exactly.

So since first and foremost I am an 

Intoxicated Robert Pattinson fan...

I thought I would go through his movies.

And I'm not counting "Vanity Fair"

Because his scenes were cut.

But he looks absolutely gorgeous in the scenes

that didn't make it to the movie.

OK.

2004: Curse of the Ring, aka "Ring of the Nibelungs" 

Um. Yeah.

Not Rob's best look... but still smiling that smile.

I've only seen bits and pieces of this movie.

If Rob's voice hadn't been overdubbed

(Who the fuck replaces THAT voice?)

I would have added it to my Rob collection.

Rob has a small role...

and it's kinda a "Lord of the Ring" kinda thing

My favorite memory of the movie?

When Rob was on Leno with Heidi Klum

And he shyly looked over to her...

pulling his fingers through his hair...

And mentioned he was in a German movie.

SO CUTE!

That interview remains one of my all time favorites to this day.

That's all I got to say about this one.
How many wine drinkers out of 5?

Two.
And that's only because Rob is in it.

2005: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Cedric Diggory.

Can he be any more handsome?

Gotta love Harry Potter movies.

At least I do.

And I will admit that even though I thought

the actor who played Cedric in the movie

was incredibly handsome and sweet...

I guess the thought that he was a teenager

immediately negated him from being on my radar at all.

(Yeah, Rose... Cuz being 21 is SO much better!)

I love this movie.

I love Rob in this movie.

The handsome hero.

Well, I guess Harry is the hero...

But Cedric really outshines Harry in this movie

In every way.

And I love Dan Radcliffe... I do.

But he should make it a rule to never stand

next to Robert Pattinson again.

Ever.

Five drunken fools.
Because it's Harry Potter.
It's a good movie.
Rob looks absolutely gorgeous in it.
And even though the end is a bit sad
(Yeah, Cedric bites the dust)
One of the better Potter movies...
OK, I'm being prejudiced.
So what.

2006: The Haunted Airman

 

Ahh... The story of Toby Jugg.

Rather depressing movie.

Depressing color.

Depressing setting.

Depressing story.

But Robert?

Ever so beautiful!

And it is a creepy kinda movie...

But I liked it.

And everyone remembers those little clips of Rob

smoking his cigarette... deep in thought.

*swoon*

Rob's character has an affair with his 'aunt'.

Bitch.

(Hahahaha... I'm only kidding. I think.)

Seriously.

She puts her hand in his hair...

More than ONCE.

I hate her for that alone.

(Truly... I'm kidding I don't hate her. Much.)

But that all aside...

My favorite bit of the movie...

is when Toby is lying on the ground when he first

gets to this depressing rehab place thingy.

And he says something like

(I can't find the exact quote at the moment)

"Here's where we come to meet

the end of the world"

That's close enough.

Three drunken sots.

Rob is gloriously gorgeous.

2007: The Bad Mother’s Handbook

 

Oh sweet Daniel.

Quite possibly my favorite of Robert's pre-Twilight movies.

And hes not even a main character

Sweet story.

Very cute.

Robert is just plain ADORABLE.

I loved this movie.

I love Robert.

 

Four Pissed Twits

2008: The Summer House

 

I will admit to not seeing this in its entirety.

But damn... what I have seen is incredibly sexy.

It doesn't even kinda look like Robert.

Weird.

What gets to me is this...

Talulah Riley.

I think I might just hate her.

(Yes, I'm being facetious)

Because not only did she get to do this movie

with a deliciously handsome (heh) Robert...

But she also plays the fair Marianne in "Pirate Radio"

and gets to KISS Tom Sturridge.

What's up with THAT??

How is that even remotely fair?

Tell me!

3 Blitzed Boozers.

2008: How to Be

 

Art.

Art imitating Rob.

I've always felt that Art was kinda how Rob really is.

You know what I mean.

Adorkable.

Awkward.

Art.

I loved this movie.

Rob is completely charming.

It's a cute story.

AND

he plays guitar and sings

albeit not like Rob would sing.
But still cool all the same.

4 inebriated lushes.

 

2008: Little Ashes

Rob is phenomenal in this movie.

He proves how serious he is about acting.

He takes risks.

But it wasn't my favorite movie.

Maybe its just because of Dali.

I don't know.

But I do appreciate Robert in this.

And its a beautiful movie, too...

So...

Three Boozy Bozos

 

2008: Twilight

What can I say?

This movie gave me an Edward that I could see...

That I could hear...

Robert Pattinson is the closest to Edward this world will ever see.

I was so taken with this movie when it first came out.

I couldn't get ENOUGH of it.

Rob strutting into the cafeteria?

Yes.

Top 5 best scenes EVER.

Love this movie.

Love Robert.

Love everything.

Robert became Edward.

Robert met Kristen.

Need I say more?

 

5 Stewed Guzzlers 

2009: The Twilight Saga: New Moon

 

More Edward.

Nothing wrong with that!

Of course I loved this movie...

Not as much as Twilight

Because Rob wasn't in it as much...

and less Rob

is less fun.

But still.

Edward.

Bella.

Kissing.
And.

ROBERT STRUTTING ACROSS THE PARKING LOT!

That alone is worth the price of admission.

3 Tipsy Winos.

2010: Remember Me

 

Oh dear.

Oh my.

Robert.

I truly loved this movie.

Yes, mostly because of Rob.

What can I say?

I'm a true fan.

I will follow him through all his choice of roles.

Tyler was a beautiful lost soul.

Rob can portray that wonderfully.

And look good doing it.

I hated the end.

But that's because Tyler dies.

I didn't need that.

Not after Cedric

(MY BOY!!!)

Not Tyler, too...

 

 

 

4 Plastered Carousers

2010: Twilight Saga: Eclipse

 

Probably the most beautiful Edward so far.

Probably the most romantic Edward.

Probably the first time we get to see the tough

'Don't mess with me, Victoria' Edward.

Yeah.

He takes that bitch DOWN.

Eclipse was my favorite book.

Not sure if it is my favorite of the movies

(thus far)

I find myself getting nostalgic for Edward of old.

But yes... I loved this movie.

Even if there is no strutting Edward.

And truly...

Why would you wanna break my heart?

Why?

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 Intoxicated Sponges.

 

I can't wait to see how many glasses of wine

Water for Elephants

or

Bel Ami

will get.

Maybe I might need to add more glasses...

You can never have enough wine.

Or popcorn.

Or Robert.

Yeah.

Prospects look good.

So...

I have quite the collection of Rob movies so far.

I don't see that stopping anytime soon.

 He just keeps getting better and better.

And if at all possible...

Better looking as well.

Amazing.

I wonder if I will ever get over this intoxication.

I wonder if I will ever want to.

This post is brought to you by the letter *W*

W for Wine.

Me and wine have become intimidate lately.

Close friends.

Buddies.

Cheers for now