Please Read With Proper Sarcasm

A couple of thoughts...

1. I could Write about the

Walking Wolverine.

Which is a very nice thing to Write about.

I enjoy Writing about the

Walking Wolverine.

He had a great time at TIFF.

Maps To The Stars got Wonderful reviews.

The man cleans up... Well.

And come on...

Walking Wolverine 

in a Wonderful blue suit

With Wickedly Wild Wavy hair

is fucking Wow.

2. All the incredible reviews

that STILL ALICE has received at TIFF

Especially Julianne Moore AND Kristen...

Well.

It's real and it's SPECTACULAR!

Gotta admit that I'm loving all the positive feedback
that Kristen is getting
but also the fact that she is SHINING so brightly right now.
Living well... and working well
is the BEST revenge.
(gnaw on that haters)

3. I want to ask if you have noticed

that the Lunatics that screech the loudest -

"Rob and Kristen are married with a baby!"

"Rob and Kristen will NEVER EVER be back together!"

"Rob hates Kristen and has nothing to do with her!"
"Rob's career is OVER!"
"Kristen's career is OVER!"

- Are the ones who are the neediest

and most insecure in what they believe?

Let's take the "Japan Beanie"
as an example.

So there was some video
that showed Rob getting in a car with some friends...
And even though the video was mere seconds
and blurry as shit...

"ROB IS WEARING A JAPAN BEANIE!!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!
KRISTEN WAS IN JAPAN!!!"
(You know... when Rob flew to Japan then flew to LA
then flew back to Japan before flying to NYC and then he
flew back to LA before flying to Toronto before he
flew to Singapore!
All to throw off the paps!!!)
(Editors note: Please read with proper sarcasm)

And then of course you have the other side
of the Fringe...

"YOU PHOTOSHOPPED IT!
IT'S NOT A JAPAN SYMBOL!
NO! NO! A THOUSAND TIMES NO!
IT CAN'T BE!!"
(You know... the people who claim to not 'care'
about Kristen but can't seem to stop obsessing over what she says
and what she does and who she is with...
all the damn time.)

I wish I were making this up.
But alas...
People were freaking out over a beanie.
And why? To what end, exactly?
It's the same people who are SO SURE
they KNOW what is going on with Rob and Kristen
that flip out over the slightest thing.
Like a beanie.

Insecurity thy name is Lunatic Fringe.

Probably the most stunning picture of Kristen... EVER.

Hi there.

4. Google
I didn't know if I should even address this.
This site put Rob and Kristen as 'partners'
Is this the end all... be all?
Really?
That's what you are going hang your beanie on?
This brings me back to the insecure and needy
who cling to any fucking thing.
Beanies.
Tweets from disgruntled Brides
Unfounded self proclaimed experts.
A plethora of relatives who work for Kristen...
(and why is it that they never work for Rob?)
Insiders and sources that seemingly pop up out of nowhere
Endless blurry pictures and videos

Good.
Fucking.
Grief.

Are you really that desperate
that you can't believe in something without this bullshit?
(Editors note: Please read with proper sarcasm)

5. FKA TWIGS
Who?
Well... walk next to Robert Pattinson
and you are guaranteed intense media scrutiny.
Attention.
But.
She doesn't want that.
Right?
Remember Dylan Penn?
Rob was supposedly as 'smitten' with her
as he is with Twigs.
In fact...
You could go back thru the past articles
attaching a female to Rob
posted by People/E!/Other various rags
and just take out whatever name is in there
Be it
Riley Keough
Imogen Kerr
Katy Perry
Dylan Penn
Caitlin Cronenberg
Sia
Sydney Liebes
Sarah Roemer
Emilie de Raven
Mystery Blonde
Mystery Brunette
Mystery Redhead
Etc.
Etc.
And just put in the new "love" of the week.
(and please remember that all of the above
were never dating Rob)

Is Rob dating Twigs?

Are they just friends?

I guess that's for Rob to know...
and for us to over analyze and obsess over
to find out.
(Editors note: Please read with proper sarcasm)

6. Rob and Kristen
 I miss them.

When will I see you again?

And so it goes.

This post is brought to you by
Tom and Sienna

Still going strong after 3.5 years...
and a beautiful baby girl.

And by these incredible pictures...

Why?
Because it STILL chaps their hide.

Until next time.

Bye for now

And remember...
Love is LONG.

#RobAndKristen

Free Your Mind...

"New/Old pics from Cannes 2012"

THIS is how you suck a neck!

Well damn.

I NEVER get tired of this stuff.

I don't care if its two years old...

It's fucking beautiful.

THEY.

ARE.

BEAUTIFUL.

Anyway...

Let's move on to the hip happenings 

going on in our wonderful blessed fandom 

this past week.

Let's see.

1.  Gorgeous picture of Rob.

What's he been up to?

Well...

'Maps To The Stars' will have its North American Premiere

 at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival in Sept. 

BRILLIANT NEWS!

Plus he is going to London the first week of August

to promote The Rover!

So more promo Rob!!

And a 'new' interview with The Vent.
It's pretty good.
I like when they let Rob talk.
It's always interesting.
One of the quotes that stands out?

Q: How do you deal with appearing so frequently in the tabloids?

“I don’t read them. I think I’m slowly trying my best
 to get out of all that kind of media, 
just being in gossip magazines and stuff.
 I don’t quite know how to do it, but I’m trying my best.”

2. Lovely Kristen.

Well... she's in Japan

getting ready to film "EQUALS"

with this guy...

Nicholas Hoult

Yeah.

I kinda like him.

I have an affinity for tall lanky guys 

with British accents and blue eyes.

I guess I have a 'type'...

hahaha.

Fan pics from Japan!

And let's not forget that

STILL ALICE

will also be showing at TIFF in Sept!!

How lucky is Julianne Moore?

Two movies at TIFF

one with Rob... one with Kristen.

What an interesting cross connection...

I'm always so excited when Rob/Kristen
start a new project.

Everything is Win/Win!

There are a lot of people who would LOVE it if
Rob and Kristen
were indeed married with a baby.
I would be positively THRILLED for them.
But...
Just saying it doesn't make it so.
Even when you invent Expert Cousins
who oh so conveniently appear to back up your claims.
How fortunate!
A Cousin who supposedly knows Rob and Kristen are married...
That Rob won't change a poopy 'nappie'
Yet for some reason is focused on
pink flamingos and backpacks?

 And that brings us to the
"Forensic Face Recognition Experts"
Um. OK. Sure.
Well..
I'm 99.9999999999999% sure that
even IF (and that's a big fucking if)
such intricate identifications were indeed possible
That these people wouldn't be wasting their time
with some dark fuzzy indistinct pictures
of two actors from some random blog
trying to prove that it was indeed
Rob and Kristen at the Taco Truck!
(Or in the library with the lead pipe!)
Who the FUCK even cares?
Why would they even bother with such minor details if they have
already determined that Rob and Kristen are married?

Its not the message that anyone cares about
If you want to believe that
Rob and Kristen
have a house full of babies
and live on the moon
that's entirely up to you...
Believe whatever you want!
Its the messenger.
There hasn't been any real honest truth
(or actual PROOF)
to any thing that has been said.
More than a few of you get downright nasty
whenever anyone doesn't agree with your opinion.
You lie to people.
You lie about people.
How can anyone prove you wrong
when you haven't been right?

Final thoughts.

1. This whole 'woe is me
quit picking on me' victim bullshit
is getting kinda old.
I've been writing this blog for almost 6 years.
(I know... I know)
And I've learned
sometimes rather painfully
That when you put out opinions
and blunt points of views
Sometimes you get love back
But... alas
You're gonna get hate, too.
Who knew?
But hey... it comes with the territory.
Not everyone is going to agree with you
Not everyone is going to like you.
You put shit out there...
You get shit back.
Its the nature of the game.
I suggest you deal with it
Quit your fucking whining
and listen to "Garden Party"

"But it's all right now
I've learned my lesson well
You see you can't please everyone
So you got to please yourself"

Believe me.
You will be a whole lot happier.

2. I think its hilarious that people
let other people
tell them who
to follow... or unfollow on Twitter.
I guess the term "sheep"
can be sadly appropriate sometimes.

I don't care who you follow.
I don't look through peoples lists
and let that dictate whether or not I like them.
If they make me laugh.
Make me think.
If I find myself interested in what they have to say
and they are decent people
I will follow them.
It's really that simple.
Why would you let someone else
tell you who you should like?

3. I adore Tom Sturridge
Green.
Sheep.
Forever.
And don't even fucking
think you know.
You don't.

4. Hey! I have an expert too!
She just called and said...

"I'm fine. We're fine."


This blog is brought to you by Francis.

Lighten the fuck up.

If you find yourself getting mad and yelling
and being all upset and angry
over things that don't impact your life
over thing you can't control...
You will never be happy.

And that's a shame.

Because being happy is fucking great.
I highly recommend it.

Until next time.

Bye for now

Free Your Mind...
The Rest Will Follow.

Rob and Kristen- I Get Knocked Down...

So here I sit...

Wondering if I should add my 2 cents.

I feel I selling myself short.

Surely my opinion has to be worth a nickel?

Perhaps a dime?

I suppose as long as I remember that it

is indeed just an opinion...

(And I'm reminding you too... btw)

I should be OK.

Lets take a look a current events then...

Shall we?

1. British Vogue.

The pictures were gorgeous.

The actual article?

Well...

Keep a few things in mind.

A. This interview took place in the

beginning of June.

The writer seems to want to make this interview

salaciously connected to the 'incident'.

It wasn't.

Real PRpro...

Had a very illuminating twitlonger

about this very thing

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/j6jkeg

You see...

I realize the hyenas out there...

frothing and foaming at the mouth

want to believe that Kristen is indeed talking about

that lecherous man twice her age...

But alas... dear scavengers...

It's quite obvious who she was talking about.

Now...

I don't know if she really decided to discuss

licking under armpits (come on... you have to laugh)

or having babies (notice the plural)

Or to even 'missing my boyfriend'

It seems a bit out of character for Kristen to discuss

something so intimate and personal

But then again...

She had been a bit more vocal lately

in terms of her relationship with Robert.

So true or not

Some people got all up in arms

about Kristen talking about Rob in such a way!

How dare she!

Yes... they were lighting their torches

and polishing their halos...

because why must she keep humiliating him this way???

Yeah. Right.

This is from the same group of people

who zoom in on his crotch and blow up 

endless movie scenes of Rob having sex

 so they might get a glimpse

of Robert's 'package'.

They focus on Rob like he is a piece of meat

to be devoured for their satisfaction.

THAT is perfectly OK.

I'm sure Rob would be positively THRILLED

to have his crotch analyzed daily.

Not humiliating at all.

Nope.

But his GIRLFRIEND can't discuss

missing him...

gotcha.

2. The shirt.

Oh dear.

Oh my.

Does Kristen have no shame?

So sayeth the hyenas.

How desperate is she?

Is she trying to communicate with Rob?

"Oh Rob... if I wear your shirt will you talk to me?"

You see...

There's all this talk about 'ex boyfriend'

Will he take her back...

blah blah blah.

Where was it ever said they BROKE UP?

Did Rob talk about it somewhere that I missed it?

Did Kristen?

Outside of Kristen's apology to Rob...

She hasn't said a word.

Neither has Rob.

So...

The whole 'break up' is just speculation?

Of course it is.

Tabloids and Gossip sites are depending on it.

And as far as Kristen wearing Rob's shirt

(and please... you know)

So what?

She ALWAYS wears his clothes.

He doesn't seem to mind, does he?

If they were truly over...

Would she continue to do so?

Doubtful.

If you break up with someone...

you don't go wearing his stuff in public.

Especially in front of an obsessed fandom

that catalogs every item of clothing worn.

She wears his clothes because...

”I love the way he smells. And him me.

  I don’t get this obsession with washing the smell off. 

That smell of someone you love – 

don’t you think that’s the whole point?”

And because she CAN.

She has access to his wardrobe.

Say no more.

That brings us to...

3. The necklace.

I thought this was covered months ago.

I posted about it in May.

Let me quote my previous post...

Since Kirsten Dunst

who also co-starred in ON THE ROAD with Kristen

was seen wearing a similar necklace...

it was immediately ASSumed that the necklaces 

MUST have been a gift from the director of OTR.

Well.

It turns out that there are pics of Kirsten wearing

that necklace going back to at least 2006...

AND

in a recent interview

a VIDEO interview that couldn't be misquoted...

Kristen has this to say...

WHO GAVE YOU THE NECKLACE YOU'VE BEEN WEARING RECENTLY?

 "Oh…umm…you know, just a little token. 

Had a birthday recently, that's all. 

I found it, it just appeared somewhere

 and I was like whoa, 

my birthday has been so great this year!"

See what I mean?

Kristen wears that necklace because it MEANS something to her.

She wears it proudly.

She wears it EVERYWHERE.

Yes. Yes.

I know some want to think that it wasn't from Rob...

But in her OWN words...

She pretty much dispels Hyena Hearsay.

Sorry.

IF you broke up with someone...

would you continue wearing rings and necklaces from him?

Probably not.

And that leads us to...

4. Kristen at TIFF for ON THE ROAD.

She fucking ROCKED that carpet.

She fucking OWNED the night.

She looked gorgeous.

Beautiful.

Strong.

She is moving forward.

She made her mistakes...

She stumbled and fell.

But she is facing it.

She's owning up to it.

She is back on her feet.

She did great last night.

She was smiling... 

She signed for fans

She posed for pictures.

She did her job.

It couldn't have been easy.

But she did what she had to do.

Just like Rob.

And then we have...

5. MTV's VMA's

Yeah, I know... what videos?

Anyway.

People were on the edge of their seats...

Hearts pumping...

Wiping their brows with anticipation

Because the host of the show

Kevin Hart (who?)

made a point of saying that he would say

whatever the hell he wanted to say.

No one was safe

(except apparently Kanye and Kim)

“This is the elephant in the room.

 No one wants me to talk about it, but I do what I want. 

This is what I want to say. I want to talk about Kristen Stewart.

 Here’s what I gotta say about Kristen Stewart – everybody makes mistakes.

 She allegedly messed around with a director.

 She did it, so what.”

A sigh of relief was heard across the land!

That wasn't so bad.

MOVE ON!!!

Except...

Wait.

That howling... whining...

Some were not amused with Mr. Harts comments!

They expected him to shred her...

Rip her apart.

Trash her.

Like they do... every day.

The only people hanging on to the 'incident'

are the ones who get the most joy out of other peoples pain.

They will never let it go.

They will cling to it like a meaty bone.

And you may have noticed that I have brought out

the term Hyena again...

I put it away for quite a long time.

But in the last 6 weeks...

It is more true than it ever has been.

Foaming.

Frustrated.

Furious.

Just what will they do

IF/when Rob and Kristen are seen together again?

Bottom line.

1. Robert looked happy and handsome at the VMAs

2. Kristen looked happy and beautiful at TIFF

3. OTR is getting great reviews!

4. The only people wallowing in the mud

are the ones who belong there.

5. I adore Thomas Sturridge

Green.

Sheep.

Forever.

And Ever.

And Ever.

Amen.

This post is brought to you by faith.

I have faith in Rob and Kristen.

Whichever way they go...

I will still follow.

There is no wrong...

It's what is right for THEM.

Tom and Lorenzo said it best.

http://www.tomandlorenzo.com/2012/09/kristen-stewart-for-vogue-uk-magazine.html

Simple. Truth.

"Kristen Stewart, having dared to do something

 not approved of by millions of people who don’t know her, 

and having acted in the less-than-entirely-responsible manner 

that all 22-year-olds in history have avoided up until now,

 has decided to show her strumpet face on the cover of Vogue UK.

Attagirl. Give ‘em hell and give ‘em FACE."

That tagline should really read: 

“KRISTEN STEWART: suck it, haters.”

Live it. Learn it.

Be Happy.

Smile.

It will be OK.

Until next time.

Bye for now