Rob and Kristen-- Enjoy The Moment

I'm sorry.

I've been AWOL the last couple of days.

It wasn't on purpose.

There was so much going on in my life...

and then I came here and tried like hell to catch up.

I failed.

Miserably.

There were just too many pictures to look at...

Too many interviews to watch...

Too

Much

Goodness.

And let's not forget the giggles.

Endless giggles.

Chuckles.

Guffaws.

Rob never stands THIS close to anyone else...

1. Robert and Kristen looked phenomenal.

Gorgeous.

Stunning.

Do you ever get tired of seeing them together?

Me either.

They make me smile.

I like smiling.

Smiling is good.

The hand on the stomach... kinda second nature isn't it?

I saw a few of the 'Black' carpet videos...

Rob and Kristen were being pulled all over the place.

Pushed toward the fans to sign...

Pulled towards the cameras

Pushed to the microphones...

I realized those people are just doing their jobs

'handling' Rob and Kristen...

Getting them where they need to be

Doing what they need to do.

But my goodness.

How do they not get dizzy with all the pushing

and the shoving and the screaming

and the shouting and the inane reporters

asking the same inane questions?

It made me nauseous just watching some of it.

'Believe me, no one would dance with my girlfriend if he were her ex. Not happening on my watch.'

Robert and Kristen handled it with grace and humor.

They have gotten pretty good at this carpet stuff...

Did I tell you how beautiful they both looked?

Together?

Smiling.

Leaning.

Touching.

Squeezing.

Hanging on to...

‘Come on! Kristen looks so amazing in these little nighties. I don’t think chess is what’s on his mind.’

No...

We didn't get enough pictures of them together.

We never do.

This premiere seemed especially rushed and frantic...

But we still got to see

What Rob and Kristen only show us when 

they are around each other.

Love.

Comfort.

Familiar.

Love.

Did you read what Bill Condon said about filming the 

sex scenes in BD 1?

“They've been a little more open about it now,

which is sweet I think 'cause they're so...

yeah I think probably because this is over, too, 

they didn't wanna get those things confused.

But i can tell you it's much easier doing these scenes 

with people who care about each other so much."

Yeah.

Bill Condon.

The guy who spent months and months with these two.

He saw them everyday.

He saw how they interacted together...

How much they care about each other.

Another director.

To add to the list of directors...

Who have spoken of the incredible chemistry

The sweet real life romance

between two people 

On and off the screen.

"Kristen looks beautiful"

OK.

And I have to talk about the "Insider" thing.

Really.

"Can we say that's your girl now? 

Can we just say hey they're together? 

That's his girl." 

Rob laughed and said "So ridiculous"

So ridiculous.

There was no THAT'S in front of it.

Not that it matters.

We all realize that Rob was reacting to what the guy

was asking him...

He wasn't answering the question.

But yes...

The Ninnies have pulled out the 

NON DENIAL DENIAL

Again.

"LOOK HE DENIED HER! IT'S OVER!"

Of course...

We got the other side of the Fringe

getting angry at Rob for just not coming out

and claiming his girl on the red carpet

at a monster premiere

on TV in front of millions of fans!

HOW DARE HE!!

I'm your puppet

But hey...

These people see denial in everything Rob says or does.

Even if he grabbed Kristen on the carpet

and declared his undying love and kissed her passionately...

Do you think that would quell the stupidity?

Don't be ridiculous.

And tell me how any form of 'denial'

fits into the whole PR plan?

I still don't get how the Ninnies who screech about

Rob and Kristen putting on a showmance

are so desperate to have him deny her at every turn?

Seriously.

That is so completely schizophrenic.

But then...

With Sybil as head cheerleader

Why would anyone be surprised?

#ThatsSoRidiculous

So yes...

Cling to that soundbite...

And twist it to fit your agenda

And when Robert keeps talking endlessly

about Kristen in interviews...

And looks adoringly at her

and holds her close

And it continues past promotion...

And into the New Year

and beyond...

Who will be the one denied?

Me and Kristen are married in some world...

 So in a few hours...

We have yet another premiere to watch!

Yes

Kristen will be at the London premiere...

but come on guys (its obvious!)

Did you ever really doubt that she would be there?

Really?

Robert wants her there.

Kristen wants Rob to be happy.

Where else would she be?

I can't wait to see what she is wearing...

And I'm hoping this event will be a bit less frazzled

than the LA premiere.

Maybe we can see Rob and Kristen actually take

a moment during this frenzied spectacle

and just enjoy being in each others arms...

Together.

I'm looking forward to it.

Rob and Kristen ALWAYS end up together.

This post is brought to you by Thomas Sturridge.

Why?

Because I adore him.

And I wonder if he will show up tonight to support

his good friends...

I hope so.

I miss his face.

Three Six Seven

I'm giddy with anticipation for tonight.

A good time will be had by all.

Bye for now

Rob and Kristen-- Bring Me Your Heart

I hope you have your popcorn at the ready...

Because I'm seeing some pretty popcorny stuff

the last few days.

UnFUCKINGbelievable.

Truly.

Let's dive right into it... OK?

First.

Say what?

Oh dear.

SO much angst over Kristen's ring again.

So.

Much.

It's like the meaning of life to some people.

Pardon the picture.

I used it because it kinda makes a point.

People see what they want to see.

We don't have any "NEW" information here.

Same shit. Different day.

Some see "R O B"

Some see some symbols or something else.

I guess there was some recent huge ring picture

that people were agonizing over.

And by people... I mean the Lunatic Fringe.

It says ROB!

It doesn't say ROB!

We win!!

Um.

No.

I'm sorry loonies...

Your opinion doesn't 'debunk' anything.

It is just your opinion.

Thing is...

No one is quite sure what is on that ring...

Yes... it can be interpreted many ways

But no matter how many times you look at it

Or how many times you blow it up

You still can't be certain what it is.

You are no closer to knowing what it means now than you were last week.

I will tell you what is certain.

That ring is 'obviously' very important to Kristen.

She rarely goes without it.

The rest is only the same tired speculation.

You don't win.

Walking on Fallon

Walking on Today

2. Rob did a lot of walking on all these interviews.

Walking.

Rob.

Walking.

A lot.

That's all I have to say.

The pics speak for themselves.

Snow White Perfection.

3. SWATH teaser trailer was released.

It was PHENOMENAL.

Charlize.

My god... she's excellent in this role.

And Kristen?

I can't wait to see MORE.

I loved it.

I kept watching it.

Lips red as blood

Hair black as night

Bring me your heart

My dear... dear Snow White.

Loving. Touching. Squeezing.

4. Let's talk about the NZ interview

where Kristen supposedly described her

relationships with Rob and Taylor

as being "just very, very, very good friends".

Of course people are foaming at the mouth over this one.

"Kristen has denied Rob!"

Oh really?

Seems to me that Kristen has always maintained that 

the three of them are great friends.

Does this 'prove' that she isn't more than that with Rob?

Well...

As usual...this is selective quoting.

If you want to believe that Kristen said the friends quote...

Then you have to assume she was telling the truth

when she said

"Come on, guys... its OBVIOUS"

when talking about her and Rob

or

"My boyfriend is English"

that she admitted saying...

even though without knowing the interviewer was there.

or

Where she proudly admitted that she spent the last 2

New Years in London and they were fucking great.

 I seem to recall reading after all of these above quotes...

"I don't care what Kristen says! She's a liar!
I will NEVER believe a word she says!"

Yes.

Really.

But wait...

The tide has changed!

NOW they believe in Kristen?

Creepy is Creepy

 Yeah.

Ok.

Whatever works for you!!

And don't forget when Rob said

He was in London 'last week'.

or that He is indeed ENGLISH

and that he thinks that He just might be married to Kristen!

Heh.

And speaking of Robert...

How completely adorkable is he?

5. In all these interviews that he has done...

Has everyone else noticed just how much Rob has mentioned Kristen?

I mean...

Honestly

(who throws a shoe?)

The man couldn't go more than a sentence without

bringing up his girl.

(Yes. HIS girl....

Kinda like Kristen says 'He's MINE')

He talks about her hands...

Her flat stomach.

How beautiful she looked...

How she's to blame for the R rating

How she played the game better.

Kristen

Kristen

Kristen

Makes you wonder what is really on his mind?

It's rather cute to see him speak of her

and then see a BIG smile on his face.

He's so matter of fact.

Like...

Kristen is exactly WHO he should be talking about.

His favorite subject.

Ever.

Speaking of favorite subjects.

Tom would definitely be one of mine.

I find myself...

becoming intoxicated with him.

This post is brought to you by

The Twilight Zone!

I mean...

Don't go into the light!

Stay away from the light!

Lunatic Fringe are Lunatics.

And this post is brought to you by Beaker.

Just looking at him makes me laugh!

I LOVE Beaker!

He is definitely in my top 3 all time Muppets.

Seriously.

Go look him up...

Watch.

Laugh.

He's hilarious.

Bye for now

Nick's face. Hahahaha!

Rob and Kristen- Good. Bad. Ugly.

Did you see the watch?!

So what's being said around the ol' watercooler?

I wish I could say it was something remotely exciting...

(OK, there are a couple of things kinda exciting.)

But as usual

most of it is just the usual random bullshit.

Good.

Bad.
Ugly.

Let's see...

Let's start with some GOOD.

Watch out Ninnies... I've reached the end of my rope...

1. Rob in a still from Cosmopolis.

Um.

Why does Rob holding a gun and looking all bad ass

make me smile?

Oh I think he pulls it off...

(Rather well, I might add)

It makes me smile because I think Rob is 

going to be  fantastic in this movie.

Look at his face.

"Don't fuck with me" face.

I like his face.

This is a good face.

This face can do sweet and tender

and goofy and adorkable

But this face can do nasty and mean too.

It's a good face.

Nick always manages to get in the middle of Rob's pictures...

2. Well... this is good and bad.

The good was that Rob was on Letterman.

The bad was that Rob was on Letterman.

The good is Rob walking and waving to the crowd...

This picture is all kinds of good.

I especially like the one with Dean in it.

I'm liking Dean.

A lot.

He takes good care of our guy.

I imagine his job isn't very easy at times...

Fighting off the banshees...

But you gotta love him.

And look at him all dapper with his red tie...

If I saw Rob and Dean...

I would ask for a picture of both of them

with me in the middle.

How awesome would THAT be?

I would include Nick...

But I'm sure his face would show up in some 

part of the picture anyway

Heh.

So the bad?

Well... Letterman kinda sucks ass.

I don't even know why Rob bothers with him.

Really.

It's blatantly obvious that Dave couldn't give a shit

about Rob or what he's doing.

Same lame questions.

Same boring shit.

I didn't even bother to record this one on my DVR.

I mean... Rob was charming and cute

and he tried to deal with Letterman...

But I'm sure his appearances on Kimmel and Fallon

will be much more entertaining and fun to watch.

Rob's Watch! Prenups!

Some bad.

3. I was going through some emails and there

was all this chatter about Rob's watch.

What.The.Fucking.Hell.

Seriously.

I don't get it.

Rob wears a watch and its a token of love?

Good Grief.

And then there were all these emails asking me 

about Rob talking about a prenup in interviews.

And the point is what exactly?

Look.

Put yourself in Rob's shoes.

You get asked the same shit questions

time after time.

Why shouldn't he throw in something to have fun with?

And even if he's serious?

Then you have to take all the marriage talk seriously...

He's talking about marrying Kristen.

Being married to Kristen (in some world)

But he doesn't have a prenup yet.

Maybe he and Kristen discussed this already.

Maybe they agreed on this topic.

Maybe he was just yanking your fucking chain.

So many people were so upset!

"It's insulting to Kristen that he keeps bringing it up!"

Really?

Did you discuss this with her?

Or are you projecting your lame relationship values

and bullshit standards onto Rob and Kristen?

Stop judging them by what YOU would do.

What YOU think

How YOU would behave

What YOU would say

Doesn't fucking matter!

Truly.

Get over yourself.

Handsomely Good.

Beautifully Good.

4. These pictures are good.

Beautiful.

These pics are always some of my favorite

year after year.

All the interviews have been good.

Rob and Kristen have done a great job.

It's so good to see and hear them talk about stuff

even though the questions are still rather unoriginal

There isn't much better than seeing Rob and Kristen laugh.

Ready for MORE good?

Perfectly Good.

 5. GAH!!!!!

This movie poster makes me so excited!!

And to hear Kristen talk about it...

She's so thrilled and happy

and she's ENJOYING this experience.

This movie looks incredible.

Kristen looks incredible.

Now if we would only hear about 

ON THE ROAD

It would be double the pleasure.

Double the fun.

(and Tom is in OTR... so that's GOOD)

I

Cannot

Wait.

6. Bad

Humpty Ninnie

Stood on the wall

Humpty Ninnie 

Is going to fall.

All the Excuses

And all of the Lies

Ninnie's Wall... is crumbling down.

Won't be able to stop Humpty's cries...

Poor Humpty Ninnie.

They've been teetering on that wall so long now...

They must be exhausted.

Always fighting and shouting and being angry.

How does one do that ALL the time?

Their theories... and excuses

are just sad and desperate.

The fall is imminent... isn't it?

! SPLAT !

Because things don't look too good 

for Humpty Ninnie in the future.

Oh no.

It looks bleak for Ninnie.

Scrambled... 

Boiled

Fried

Poached.

(OK... sorry... but I couldn't stop myself)

Any way you look at it?

They are cooked.

Stick a fork in it.

Green Sheep Good.

What fucking number am I on?

7?

OK.

7. FUCKING GOOD.

I know a lot of people don't like Tom's beard/hair

It doesn't bother me.

At all.

I like beards.

Besides...

He can always shave... or cut his hair.

What kinda matters is that Tom is still there

Underneath it all.

And I kinda like that he fucking looks and dresses

how he wants to.

I don't think he gives a shit what anyone else thinks.

I actually think Tom is the biggest rebel 

in all of the "Brit Pack"

Man... I adore him.

Thomas Sturridge Intoxication.

Indeed.

Final Thoughts?

I didn't really get to Ugly.

I don't judge people by their looks.

But there are some ugly people in this fandom.

Inside ugly.

Ugly on the inside

 I will never understand why so many people

feel the need to make this shit personal.

Truly.

It's a Twilight/Rob/Kristen fanbase.

It's not life or death.

If you're not having fun...

Get the fuck outta Dodge.

Twirling is always better than Foaming.

And there will be a lot to TWIRL about!

This post is brought to you by Conspiracies.

I can't wait for the next one.

They keep getting more and more entertaining.

I hope some one is writing this down.

This is good shit.

Bye for now

Rob and Kristen-- I Know What She's Thinking

Funny how natural that looks... and Kristen doesn't seem to mind...

Oh dear.

Oh my.

I wasn't online much this weekend...

You know how it goes

Stupid 'real' life interfering with my 'fake' life.

Or was it my fake life..

Shit.

Anyway.

There was much to laugh about.

Much to cringe over.

But mostly laugh.

Oh yes.

Laugh.

Yeah... no one else gets this close to Rob.

OK...

First there was the Twilight convention 

or some such shit.

And it basically was kinda shitty.

I mean...

Yeah

Rob and Kristen were all kinds of cute

as always

(and Taylor was cute too)

Rob really couldn't keep his eyes off her.

I know I say that a lot.

I know it.

But damn...

it's so fucking true!

He just like fucking stares at her.

ALL THE TIME.

Seriously.

Can the boy be any more ... OBVIOUS?

They don't have to say it with words...

So yeah... they were all cute and stuff.

But the convention itself was embarrassing.

The behavior of the audience...

with the screaming

and the shouting

and the yelling

and the interrupting.

I mean... seriously

How fucking old were these people?

Screaming?
Really?

Shouting out rude comments?

Really?

Screeching whenever Rob tried to talk?

Really?

And the questions that they chose to use?

Give me a fucking break already.

"Were you glad to be done wearing the contacts?"

Really?

Do people really not have any imagination whatsoever?

I'm thinking yes.

And imagine the mind numbing stupor that

Rob/Kristen/Taylor must endure day after day

of the same inane questions.

Rob (when he wasn't staring intently at Kristen)

Didn't seem to have much to say...

He left Kristen and Taylor to do most of the talking.

And do you blame him?

Boring...

I was cringing.

So...

One of the 'huge' deals being made was about

Someone shouting out 

"Your boyfriend is English" 

at Kristen.

She just kinda smiled... and looked down.

but then...

Someone else shouted out

(supposedly)

"You're a prude"

And Kristen proceeded to put her finger to her head

and shoot herself.

Yeah...

So of course it was because of the English boyfriend thing

which...

If you watch the tape...

It wasn't.

And how did Rob respond to all this?

I don't think he heard it.

He seemed to be looking over at Kristen (of course he was)

and Taylor and trying to figure out what was going on.

I imagine it isn't easy to hear among the screeching.

I imagine he was probably grateful he couldn't hear

most of what was being screamed at him.

I love Kristen's look here... "HE'S MINE BITCHES"

So yeah.

Twicon?

Rob? Kristen?

Skip it next year.

Please.

It's painful to watch.

Even more painful to listen to.

And why would you subject yourself to that bullshit again?

The only worthwhile thing about it

was having Rob and Kristen together on stage.

But we have Ellen.. and the premieres to look forward to.

Don't we?

Oh yes... we most certainly do.

Another tidbit this weekend...

was the whole Bear thing.

Look it's photoshopped faux-Bear!

The last time I posted...

I mentioned that I hadn't seen any pics 

showing Bear with Kristen...

And later that day?

Pics of John (That's HBG)

not only walking Bear (while carrying Kristen's shoes?)

You also see PapaStew walking in the background.

OH DEAR!!

The haters do NOT like this.

At all.

It's not Bear. NOOOOOOO!

Oh yes.

It was just like the 'London Leg' pics!!

Someone photo shopped Bear into the pictures!

Of course!

No wait.

It's a fake Bear!

Kristen just bought a litter-mate

(Whom she named 'Taco')

To use to prance around

(Prah-ance)

Whenever she's in public!!

FAMEWHORE!

Wait.

Summit made John walk the dog in the alley

behind Kimmel

(Are we sure this was at Kimmel?? Where's my Google Earth??)

Because Kristen needs all the PR she can muster!

DAMAGE CONTROL!

SEND KRISTEN OUT WITH BEAR IMMEDIATELY

MUST WALK BEAR!

BEAR IS THE KEY TO KRISTEN'S FAME!!

Wait.

Oh hell.

The Bear Identity.

The Bear Who Knew Too Much.

North By NorthBear

Bear Confidential

Marathon Bear

Three Days of the Bear

Minority Bear

and last but not least...

All The Presidents Bears

LOON-A-TICS

Final Thoughts?

1. Kristen is on her way back to London.

Rob is probably heading to NYC soon...

(he does have a slew of shows there)

But both have to be back in LA for the premiere

(and Ellen)

on the 14th of November.

 Then it's back to London for that premiere...

Will Kristen be going to that one?

I say she will...

Even if SWATH is behind schedule...

Surely they can let her out for a night of 

partying and frivolity with Robert?

Let's hope so!!

Then Rob has Spain and Berlin...

Where does he go after that?

Hmmmm.

Where does he go... 

2. Kristen must be exhausted.

Working full speed on SWATH

Flying back and forth

(Not that Rob didn't do that for her numerous times

wink wink nudge nudge)

Between LA and London.

But yet she manages to look incredibly beautiful

and gorgeously HAPPY.

3. Rob keeps talking about the marriage being real.

I mean.

He talks about it a lot.

I think its cute.

Rob and Kristen Cullen!

"I'm pretty sure...there was a real priest doing it

and he had, kind of, I don't know,

he had kind of a short term memory lapse or something 

and kept forgetting the characters' names,

 " Pattinson, 25, told CNN on Friday.

"[He] kind of mixed them up with our real names 

and I kind of said as a joke,

[we're] probably married. 

I don't really know what the technicalities are

of how to actually get married,

but I just assumed it may be true in some world."

Maybe he wants it to be true... in some world.

Maybe it is true... in his world.

4. I adore Thomas Sturridge.

Mack. 367. Bible.

5. I wonder if the Fringe LOONs

ever get tired of being wrong...

Of looking totally and completely

delusional and bitter.

Reality is gonna get ya!

Probably not.

Because they are so far gone...

It doesn't matter anymore.

There is always another conspiracy/PR theory

waiting for them in their padded cell.

6. Robert.

Talking about doing sex scenes.

On his steamy scenes with Kristen Stewart.

"I think the more comfortable you are with each other,

the harder it gets to do any kind of really intense relationship scene. 

You’re kind of thinking, 

'I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of this person,' 

'I know what she’s thinking now,' 

so it becomes ridiculous after awhile.

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

The more they say...

The more they give away.

Bye for now