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"You can only see things clearly with your heart
What is essential is invisible to the eye"


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The information, content and images on
these pages are purely in fun
and are in no way meant to cause anyone harm, grief or despair.
If you are sensitive and lack a sense of humor,
please, don't go any further.
Some places, names, and events are fictional
and any resemblance, likeness,
or similarity to any person living or dead
is purely coincidental.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

"They Don't Know DickShit."





"I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this
 stinking apartment every ten minutes to pore over
 the excruciating minutia of every single daily event."
- Elaine, in "The Bizarro Jerry"


I love Elaine (and Julia Louis Dreyfus)
She is, by far, one of the funniest
best written
fucking hilarious
women on sitcom TV.
EVER.

So...
That quote right there?
That's kinda exactly how I feel right now.
Insert 'fandom' for 'apartment'
EXCRUCIATING MINUTIA.
Brilliant.

That's the kind of lame-ass bullshit
that has been going round and round
this fandom for months now.
Don't you find it all so very tedious?

I can't with the analyzing every fucking detail
of Rob and Kristen's lives.
I can't with people just making up 'salacious bullshit'
to further their agenda...
My God
Just LET THEM BE.
Get.Off.Their.Dicks.

Nothing you do or say
is going to change
What is.
No matter what you believe.


"But I don't want to add to this already pre-existing,
 enormous mound of salacious bullshit that isn't real. 
That's not me defending anything. That's true.
 Just being in the middle of it it's weird to comment on it.
 But I feel oddly capable of stepping outside and going,
 "Isn't it obvious to everyone?"


"I try not to let it mess with me, because my true personal life,
 as much as people think they know about it,
they don't know dick shit.
 Who could? By the way nobody knows.
Nobody knows what the fuck is going on."


See?
Nothing.
Nobody knows anything.
All the cousins
and all the experts
and all the insiders
don't know 'dick shit'.

I don't think she could be any fucking clearer.
I would think if you could believe ANYone...
It would be Kristen.



Kristen was on the cover of Vanity Fair France.
Breathtaking.
Stunning.
The above quotes and pictures were from the interview.
It was a good read
(once it was translated)

So what else is happening besides
the excruciating minutia of the fandom?

Well.
We.
Got.
 THIS!!!!



Shaggy and Scrappy are back!
I can't even put into words
the fucking FEELS (yeah, I said feels)
I get when I see these two
TOGETHER.
It's like...
overwhelming nostalgia
combined with
overt joy.

And come on...
Its not just Shaggy and Scrappy...
Its Scooby, too!


What in the world would you do...
IF
Fucking IF
You were walking down a street in NYC
and came across this trio?
Uh huh.
Think about it.
This is just about perfect...
You know?
(just about)
I mean...
Rob AND Tom
Walking.
And I don't mean to exclude dear Sam...
But
ROB AND TOM!
I can't tell you how happy this makes me.
Or did I already?
Because I really am not sure what I have just typed
and I could just be typing and typing all kinds
of random shit and making a horrific ass out of myself
which lets be honest happens all the time
but my sweet lord
seeing Rob and Tom casually walking down the street
all wrinkled and scruffy and strutting
and sunglasses and baseball hats!
!Whew!
That's exhausting!

And then today?


We get more.
More.
More I tell you... MORE.
One. Two. Three.
In a row.
And who knew that Tom and Sam
both had earrings?


And dear lord...
we get even MORE.
I kinda envision their hotel suite...
With a big pile of wrinkly slightly worn clothes
in the middle of the room
with another pile of hats on a table.
And hey...
you just grab whatever you want and
pull it on no matter what it looks like
and who cares if its hot as hell outside...
There is nothing wrong with a knit beanie!
I kinda picture a bunch of friends
talking and eating and drinking
and laughing...
oh lots of laughing.
Enjoying the company while they can
before they go back to their busy lives.
Old friends are the best friends.

Anything else?
Does anything else matter right now?
*cue maniacal laughter*


The Rover.
(OK, I typed The Rober. I need sleep)
It's available on iTunes right now.
I haven't seen it yet.
I really
REALLY
want to see it...
But I also kinda want to buy the DVD.
I have all of Rob's movies on DVD
(with the exception of the Neibelung one)
And I kinda wanna own the actual DVD
So...
It's only a couple of weeks more... Right?
Rock. Hard Place.
And there I be sitting between them.



I didn't get to really talk about
Rob and Kristen's ALS ice bucket challenges...
(wonderful charity btw)
But that's kinda old news now.
Just wanna say...
They are both fucking adorable and generous
and I love them.


This post is brought to you by the letter B

B for Bear and Bernie and Cole!
Oh how I love how those three simple names
made the lunatic fringe... cringe.

KS: Bear and Bernie and Cole.
 They're my real security team.

They wanted to believe SO HARD
that Kristen had given up Bear and Bernie to Rob
and gotten Cole to replace them.
Oops.
Guess not.
And honestly... Like Kristen or Rob
would EVER give up their beloved dogs.
Get fucking real.

B for Bullshit
No one wants or needs
bullshit 'experts' to analyze pictures
that are over 2 years old.
Enough already.
Those pictures... that whole shitty episode
belongs in the past.
This isn't really about Rob and Kristen
Not that it ever was.
This is about someone who supposedly wants people to
believe they have secret insider sources.
Who gives a fuck?
You know dick shit.

Kristen said so.


B is for Bumblebee
I know someone who named their
daughter... Bumblebee.
I'm not kidding.
Makes Apple look pretty good, huh?


And last but never least
B for BRILLIANT.


I will NEVER get tired of this.

I adore you Thomas Sturridge.


Until next time.

Bye for now

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Hearsay



Well.
Long time no fucking see... huh?
Damn.
This summer has been so incredibly busy
that I haven't had much of a chance to write my name
much less a blog post.

Miss me?
No?
Hahahaha.
OK... OK.

I was catching up on my emails
and decided to share a few with you...
my faithful readers.

99.99999% of these emails are real.
My experts have determined that
by measuring the circumference of the words
that start with the letter C.
They then multiply that number with the
longitude and latitude of your location
on October 23, 2013.


Simple, right?



Dear Rose:

Why do you insist on calling yourself a 'fan of both'
You clearly favor Kristen over Rob
since she is all you ever talk about.
Your blog name is misleading!

Dear Rose:

You are not a fan of BOTH!!
I don't even think such a thing exists!!
Why don't you just leave Kristen alone and
get back to obsessing over Rob?
You're not fooling anyone!!



Why would I 'pretend' to like both
Rob and Kristen?
What can possibly be gained by lying about it?
I also am a huge fan of Robert Downey Jr...
and Sandra Bullock
Is that a hoax as well?
In bizarro world you can only like
ONE PERSON AT A TIME!!!


And seriously...
What's it to you?



Dear Rose:

Why don't you ever talk about their movies and career?
It seems like all you care about is their non existent relationship.
Isn't it time you moved on?

*sigh*
More fascination with what I talk about.
I do talk about their movies and career
ALL THE TIME.
But I'm not a NEWS blog.
I write down my thoughts and
 opinions about what's going on...
It's kinda what I've been doing since day one.
I do care about their relationship
Because I care about Rob and Kristen.
I can admit it.
I do.
So I'm interested in what they are doing.
Together or Apart.
I think there is still a Together...
And I will 'move on'
when they do.
Haven't seen either one of them do that yet.
I just want them to be happy...
No matter where that leads.



Dear Rose:

What do you think about all the experts and cousins
and sources that are out there?
Do you believe in any of them?
Is there really a baby out there
that we don't know about?



"I don't know anyone who could be a source."
-Robert Pattinson

"“People think they knew a lot about me before.
 They know even less now."
-Kristen Stewart


To quote an 'expert'...

"I did a circumferential measurement of her breasts, bilaterally."


Good.Fucking.Grief.
This is what is called
"Jumping the Shark"


Going a wee bit too far...
It REEKS of desperation.

No. I can't prove these 'experts' don't exist
anymore than anyone can prove they DO.
It's all fucking hearsay.

"information received from other people
 that one cannot adequately substantiate; rumor.
the report of another person's words by a witness, 
usually disallowed as evidence in a court of law."

I'm guessing these "detectives" would even know that much.

Bottom line?
You don't need this bullshit.
You really don't.
If you believe in something... then BELIEVE!
Have some faith.
That's all it takes.
That's all you need.
All the rest is fucking NOISE.
Turn.
It.
Off.


Dear Rose:

What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

What do you mean?
African or European swallow?


Dear Rose:

What did you expect?
Coffins and dungeons and moats?

No. Not the moats.



Dear Rose:

That's what you dream about?
Being a monster?

I dream about being with you... forever.




Dear Rose:

I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore.

Then don't.


Dear Rose:

What are your feelings about Robin Williams?

I'm gutted.
Shattered.
I loved him.

I hope he has finally found peace.


I will miss him always.


Dear Rose:

What is it about Rob and walking
that always gets you so worked up?
The guy walks.
So do millions of people.
Big deal.





I rest my case.


Dear Rose:

Do you only like Tom Sturridge because he is friends with Rob?




If I'm being honest...
I'm not sure I would have found Tom on my own.
Six degrees of Robert Pattinson and all that...
So I will be forever grateful to Rob
for introducing me to Tom.
(Thanks Rob!)
That being said?
I love Tom.
I love his movies.
I love his work.
I love his face.
I love his voice.
I love his friendship with Rob and Kristen.


Dear Rose:

The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken
 by absence, distance, or time.
And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant
 or perfect than me he might me, 
he was as irreversibly altered as I was. 
As I would always belong to him, so would he always be mine.
Was that what I'd been trying to tell myself?
"You love me."

The crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face.
 "Truly, I do.”

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This post is brought to you
By the letter L

L for life.

Don't take it for granted for one second.
I recently lost a friend to a horrible illness.
He was young and smart and funny.
And now he's gone.

L for Love

If you find it.
Cherish it
Hold on tight to those you love
Hug them.
Laugh with them.
Live in the moment.
Appreciate what you have.

Peace and Love
to Robin and Bryan.
Always.
Forever.

Until next time.

Bye for now

Now you know. 
Nobody's ever loved anybody as much as I love you. 
- Bella Kristen to Edward Robert