The information, content and images on
these pages are purely in fun
and are in no way meant to cause anyone harm, grief or despair.
If you are sensitive and lack a sense of humor,
please, don't go any further.
Some places, names, and events are fictional
and any resemblance, likeness,
or similarity to any person living or dead
is purely coincidental.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

We'll Always Have Forks...


So...
I've been kinda busy lately.
Life comes at you pretty hard sometimes.
Is that a line from a movie?
Probably.
Sorta.
(Bueller?)

Anyway.
There has been LOTS of Rob and Kristen
(and even some Thomas )
in the news.

Rob was at some Dior thingy
Kristen was at some Chanel thingy
They both looked
P.H.E.N.O.M.E.N.A.L. 
I mean...
with a fucking capital P.



And be honest...
Did it make you kinda giddy that Dean was there with Rob?
Like
all is right with the world.
Things are as they should be.



Seriously.
Wow.

Isn't it wonderful that BOTH
Rob and Kristen
are doing so well in their careers?
They are getting wonderful reviews from critics.
They BOTH look incredible.
They seem happy with their lives.
Isn't it great?

I wish it would be so easy and peaceful.
But alas...
We still get the idiots who have to trash one
to build up the other.
And I mean that on all sides of the aisle.
(Can an aisle have more than 2 sides?)


Take this recent incident... for example.
Rob and Kristen were on the SAME FLIGHT
from Paris to LAX.
OH NO!!!!
#Planegate!
#Flightgate!

Seriously.
The angst
The bitterness
The anger
The giddiness
The nostalgia
The laughs
The endless searching of airplane seating charts!
(It was all fucking hilarious... really)

So HKN and LoonLurker and their crew were SOOOO happy!
Truth Bombs People!
Because if you ride on the same flight as someone...
It means
It means
It means you are secretly married with 3 babies
and you are about to SHARE THE TRUTH
with the world!
OF COURSE IT DOES!!!
Who could possibly miss these kind of signs??
Rob and Kristen had cars waiting for them
and they were parked NEXT to each other!!
They walked through the SAME airport
and out the SAME doors!
TRUTH BOMBS!

And don't you know...



That crease...
That crease on her flat tummy
that's PROOF of her having 3 babies!
Some sort of c-section scar...
OR
It's her showing the world that she is
PREGNANT AGAIN!!!
Maybe twins this time!
(Bella and Edward!!)
Babies number 4 and 5!!
OR
It's from sitting on a plane for 11 hours.
(nah... that's too sane)
I mean...
Kristen's Mom Jules LIKED the pic!
That means BABIES!!!

Yeah... pretty fucking CRAZY isn't it?
And it never stops.
No matter that Kristen was on the plane
with her girlfriend, Stella.
Let's just ignore that Stella has been in her life
EVERYWHERE in her life for months.
Let's just ignore all the pictures of Rob and Twigs
that have been out there for years.
Let's just scream PR! PHOTOSHOP!
whenever something comes up that shows
that you are completely delusional.
Let's ignore every rational thought
 and focus on that crease!
TRUTH BOMBS!!



And let's not forget the PRessed 'fans' OK?
Some of them were pulling out airplane seating charts...
We can't have Rob sitting near Kristen!!
Wait!
There had to be other flights!
Rob and/or Kristen wouldn't fly on purpose on the same plane!
Was this some bizarre PR move by Kristen?
Was she trying to 'cash in' on Rob... AGAIN?
(hahahahahahaha)
It burns their biscuits
that Rob and Kristen were in close proximity
for any length of time
Even though as I mentioned before...
Kristen was with Stella.
(Poor Stella... always thrown aside)
And Rob and Kristen have been broken up for years
(REPEAT AFTER ME- ROB AND KRISTEN
ARE NO LONGER TOGETHER
SO WHY DOES KRISTEN STILL BOTHER YOU??
OR
WHY DOES ROB STILL BOTHER YOU??)
There were all these bitter rants...
(My favorite being this one)
"ROBSTEN IS DEAD BITCHES!"
"ROB AND KRISTEN
WILL NEVER EVER BE TOGETHER AGAIN!!"

No shit?
It was a fucking plane ride, Dickwad.
Why so fucking worried?

No one has any idea what kind of relationship
Rob and Kristen may or may not have.
They could be friendly.
They could talk.
Who knows?
It doesn't mean they are going to run back
into each others arms... 
Does anyone really want that at this point?
(OK... Don't fucking answer that.)
Let's face it...
No matter where they are now
No matter if they talk or not
Even if they hate each others guts...
Kristen will always have so much more of Rob
than you ever will.





There has been an endless showings
of Twilight... New Moon... etc
on TV lately.



I read that some people have a hard time
watching these movies.
I don't feel that way.
I enjoy them.
Twilight and New Moon especially.
They make me smile.
Rob and Kristen make me smile.
They were so in love...
and going through the Twilight Tornado...
Together.


Their bond was so strong.
It was fun to watch.
It may be over
but we'll always have Forks.


This post is brought to you by the letter L
and the letter T.

L for
Fucking LET it go.
Stop bitching about Kristen for just ONE day.
Do you think its possible?
Stop insulting Rob for 24 hours...
Can you do it?
Stop comparing Kristen and Twigs
and leave them both alone.
Stop using one as an excuse to bash the other.
Stop pretending you know what is going on
in their personal lives.
You don't.
Stop vomiting bullshit and declaring it the truth.
Just because you say it...
doesn't make it TRUE.



T for...

TOM!




He's in the play 1984
and let's talk about how quirky and weird Tom is.
I love it.
He's so... Tom.
Part of his ENORMOUS charm.

Green Sheep.
Fucking Forever.


P.S. New Moon is on my TV right now...
and my favorite quote was just on

Jake- I love you
So... Please... don't make me choose.
Because it will be him.
It's always been him.

It's always been him.
Goddamn.
I loved Bella and Edward.
I will always miss them.

And then forever.

Until next time

Bye for now.