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and are in no way meant to cause anyone harm, grief or despair.
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Saturday, June 30, 2012

Rob and Kristen-- The Elephant in the Room

Good Grief.

I seem to use those two simple words quite a bit lately.
Why you ask?

This fandom is mental.

Remember the wedding last weekend?
You know...

The wedding where Kristen had the audacity...
the fucking NERVE
to change into jeans for the 'after' party.
(AFTER being the key word-- as in after the wedding)
Do you have any idea just how long this jean debate
has gone on?
Do you?
Yeah... I know I'm now adding to that total...
But only to make a point.
(And since it was documented that she didn't wear the jeans 
to the wedding, I guess it's moot)
The jeans were never really an issue.
Not really.

THIS was the issue

This place card really burned some butts.

The pictures of Rob and Kristen 
smiling together...
Or the one with them sitting next to each other
with Rob's arm around Kristen
Those pictures didn't chap their asses more than the words

Mr. Robert Pattinson
Ms. Kristen Stewart

on that card.
A Couple.

So... of course the lunatic fringe had to cling to SOMETHING
Didn't they?
It's just a smokescreen, of course...
So they don't have to face 
(once again)
What's right in front of them.

It has gotten so much worse for them
ever since Cannes...

And this video.
This glorious wonderful video.

This video that shows Rob and Kristen
being affectionate and sweet and loving
and kissing and hugging
and all the things that some people
always claim 'You will never see'
But we did... didn't we?
It's not dark... or too blurry
We can clearly see who is who
and what they are doing.
Can't we?

And you know...
Every time Rob and Kristen go out together
be it a concert, or dinner or whatever...
People who see them always are saying
that they were 'so affectionate with each other'
'They were next to each other all night'
'They were hugging and kissing and very sweet'
You know?
And that's all this video really is...
Just showing us the exact same things
all those people said they saw in person.
Makes all those tweets and statements
a bit more believable and REAL now...
Doesn't it?
We all got to witness just how loving and sweet
Rob and Kristen are when they are together.

So it should come as no big surprise...

That when Rob was seen hanging around
With the likes of Katy Perry/Shannon Woodward
and Beiber/Gomez
It would make big news... right?
Of course it did.
Well... to some people anyway.
Those who are clinging to the scraps and tidbits
of their PR theories and conspiracies.

Rob went to Katy Perry's Premiere after party....
And  he got on the Beiber Bus
and was dropped off at some bar opening.
Oh dear. Oh my.
If you watch the videos
(and they are painful, not gonna lie)
The paps really didn't seem to care that much
about Rob at all...
They were definitely chasing the Beiber.
Now I'm guessing that would have been
a completely different story if Kristen had been there...
But alas... she was working in Paris.
And Rob was seen with his friend Shannon Woodward.
Whom I really like quite a bit.
She seems to make Robert smile...
and I can always appreciate someone who can do that.
Maybe Rob thought if he traveled with Beiber
the focus wouldn't be on him.
He was kinda right
Until he walked into the bar behind a ...
are you ready for this?
The super secret blonde girlfriend??
Oh wait.
People fucking attacked her on gossip sites
that she actually had to come out and defend herself

“It is absolutely not true,” she tells Gossip Cop. Gordon says, 
“I have a wonderful boyfriend and [Pattinson] has beautiful Miss Stewart!”
She adds, “It’s insane how a second in time can be misinterpreted.
 I literally took a sip of water and walked inside
and they made it look like we were out there for 10 minutes together.”

Yep. It's insane.
But that just means they will focus more on
Katy and/or Shannon
Or any other female that was in spitting distance.
Breathing the same air.
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
And they don't get more desperate than the Fringe.

That's what they try to do...
Not acknowledge the gigantic elephant in the room.
Be it love and affection on a balcony at Cannes
Or standing side by side...
Smiling together at yet another private wedding.
They try to pretend it didn't happen
That it doesn't matter...

But that elephant is real.
The elephant is truth.
That elephant isn't going anywhere.
And the elephant isn't wearing jeans.

This post is brought to you by the number 9

Multiply that by a couple thousand
and you might come up with how many
times Robert has been accused of cheating.
There has never been any proof
No one has ever stepped forward to claim Rob
All we have ever seen
Is Rob getting into or out of cars
with people who sometimes happen to be women.
That's it.
He's never alone with these women.
He's never been seen holding their hand...
Or hugging them at his premiere at Cannes
Kissing them on balconies
Or taking them to weddings/baptisms
visiting them at their work
spending birthdays and holidays with them
or following them to Paris...
We never see Rob do that with anyone
except Kristen.
Only Kristen.
Always Kristen.

And this post is brought to you by
my eternal adoration of
Thomas Sturridge

Until next time
Look out... the elephant is right behind you.

Bye for now

Monday, June 25, 2012

Rob and Kristen- You Know That It's True

Kristen's smile...

What a weekend.
Kristen gets home from Australia...
We see her immediately go to the house she shares with Rob
(You know that it's true)
And then later that night
Rob and Kristen are at a Jenny Lewis concert
Together as always
(You know that it's true)
But the perfect way to end the weekend?

A wedding.
Rob and Kristen do weddings well.
(You know that it's true)
We got all sorts of tweets about them being 
at some producer guys wedding...
People doubted it at first
This is a cynical fandom.
But lo and behold.
There they were.
All together and smiling like they owned
the fucking world...
And I guess they kinda do.
(You know that it's true)

And as much as I love the above picture
And I'm guessing even more pics will be released 
in the coming months
I loved this picture...
The most.

The wedding place card.
With BOTH Rob and Kristen's names on it.
It's lovely isn't it?
And don't the words...

Mr. Robert Pattinson
Ms. Kristen Stewart

Just make you go all mushy and sappy inside?
Doesn't seeing the smiles on Rob and Kristen's faces...
Make YOU smile?

Would you rather discuss what Kristen is wearing?
Does that make you forget that
Rob and Kristen
Always end up together?
(You know that it's true)
You've spent hour upon hour discussing her clothes...
Like it matters.
It doesn't
But it's a nice distraction from the truth... isn't it?

Perhaps you would rather cling to the Sarah Roemer bullshit?
She was at the wedding after all...
And isn't it amazing how Rob and Kristen had no issues with that?
How it was Kristen's name with Rob's...
How no one except the lunatic fringe has ever had an issue with her.
(You know that it's true)

I don't know about you...
But it's sunny here in my part of the Rob/Kristen fandom.

Fucking bright as hell.
And hell is bright.
(You know that it's true)
The hits just keep on coming.
I was wondering if the magic that was Cannes
could ever be matched...
And I'm starting to think it can be.
It will be.

Robert and Kristen 
continue to go
where no couple has gone before.
That's not true...
But they are fun to watch... aren't they?
At least if you are on the right side.
The happy side.
The good side.

As for the 'other side'?

They are in all kinds of trouble.
Their ship has sunk.
And things don't look too good...
Do they?

I hope they can swim.

This post is brought to you by Smiles.
I've been smiling all damn weekend...
I've been smiling for months now.
Smiling is good.
You should try it.

And speaking of smiles...

Tom makes me smile.
Every day.

Until next time.

Bye for now

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Letters to the Editor

Mail Day.

The mail you are about to see is real...
The names have been changed to protect the innocent
or the stupid.
And the spelling.
I just can't deal with the spelling.
So yeah... I corrected that too.

You constantly post paparazzi pics on your blog 
but I always see you complaining about how
 they treat Rob and Kristen on Twitter.
So only if the pictures are what you want to see
than those pictures are OK with you?
Hypocrite much?
You are pathetic with what you pick and choose.
- Suzy

Dearest Suzy--
I realize that I am vocal about my disdain for the paparazzi.
It's my opinion. I'm entitled to it.
But there are degrees of aggressiveness and disgusting behavior
carried out by these vile vultures.

Take for example the pictures taken Thursday
of Kristen arriving home to LAX.
Did you see the video?

Those paps crossed the line.
They were abusive
yelling and screaming at the people Kristen were with.
They pushed and shoved several people
They were swearing and abusive.
When it was just the two guys left...
They circled them like a pack of hyenas.
Snarling. Provoking.
Going so far as to go in the trash...
Grab someones used soda
and pour it over one of their heads.
And someone got SPIT on.

I get that there will always be paparazzi.
It's an unfortunate byproduct of being famous.
But they are getting scary.
These people were out of control.
And for what?
Some pictures of Kristen walking through a damn airport?
Yeah... like no one has ever seen THAT before.
There should be a set distance they are kept away from people.
They shouldn't be allowed to get up close and
get away with shoving and trying to start fights.
Touching should NEVER be allowed.
Why do these assholes feel the need to get physical
and violent?
If you or I were walking through an airport and
someone started yelling at you and pushing a camera in your face
and began shoving you around...
Would that be OK?
Of course it wouldn't.
But somehow it's deemed acceptable if you are famous?
Hypocrisy indeed.

And now look at this video...

 I realize that this video was taken by paparazzi as well.
But let's review, shall we?

The guy filming it was a good distance away...
(at one point he zooms in and out)
Rob and Kristen were in a public place
and weren't even aware that they were
being photographed...
No shouting... no shoving...
It still is a bit intrusive
(but oh so sweet)
But no one was harmed or scared
while this was going on.
See the difference?

So yeah.
Like I said... degrees of difficulty.
If the pics are taken with some restraint...
Without Kristen and/or Robert being terrorized
if they are taken from a safe distance away
and not treading on private property
and don't involve verbal and physical abuse...

Then I can deal with those.
But that's just me.

We all have our own paparazzi compass.

I don't know why you bother trying to convince anyone
that Rob and Kristen are together.
My friends and I can come up for a reason they aren't together
to debunk every reason you think they are!
I will always have my seat firmly on the NONSTEN bus.
Give it up already. You aren't changing anyone's mind.
- Bus Driver

Dear Road Rage--
I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything.
I don't have to.
The pictures and interviews
speak for themselves.
(Actions do speak louder than words)
You can come up with excuses
(Damage Control, Exit Strategy, PR!!)
for every thing that is out there.
So what?
I say the sky is blue.
You say the sky is purple!
Being contrary doesn't make you right.
It just makes you look like an idiot.
You see a video of Rob and Kristen kissing and hugging
and being all sweet and adorable in Cannes...
And you will ultimately scream PR!
It's the standard GO TO excuse.
It's not a legitimate one...
And it most definitely isn't logical.
But it makes you feel better
and it makes that scary bus ride feel a bit less bumpy.
So enjoy the ride!

Keep working on excuses to explain why
Rob and Kristen

"We give it ONE more movie"
(2 movies ago)

(Good luck with that)

Dear Rose--
I LOVE your blog!
Did you see the pictures of Kristen's hand
when she was at the airport?
What do you think "HAD 2 B U" means?

Hi Alice--
Thanks for the kind words.
Yes... I saw the words on Kristen's hand.
Within a matter of minutes I was overdosing on all the
references to that simple phrase.
Kinda typical of this fandom to take any little thing
Rob and Kristen do
and beat it into unrecognizable submission.
But do I know what it means?
Let's see...

1. It's a love song.

It had to be you
it had to be you 
I wandered around, and finally found 
The somebody who 
could make me be true 
Could make me be blue 
or even be glad 
Just to be sad just thinking of you 
Some others I've seen 
might never be mean 
Might never be cross or try to be boss 
But they wouldn't do 
For nobody else gave me the thrill 
With all your faults I love you still 
It had to be you 
It had to be you 
It had to be you

So you tell me... who would those lyrics apply to?

Can you imagine Rob playing that song on the piano...
Perhaps singing it to Kristen?
I can.

But who knows.
Mayhaps Kristen was just bored on the long plane ride
and didn't have any paper to write on...
Or she was thinking of getting a vanity license plate
Or she wanted to remember those words for some reason...
Maybe Rob had sung (sang?) it to her over the phone
and she got all mushy and sweet
and had to write it on her hand
as a reminder of his sweet
(and yeah, I'm being a bit sarcastic.)
(but only a bit.)

I know what I like to think.
But I guess only Kristen really knows.
(and of course Rob... always Rob)
I doubt it's up for discussion.

Final Thoughts.

I don't think I have any.

This post is brought to you by the number 2

Because it's my favorite number.
Not quite 1
but right on his tail.
Not as much pressure as 1
But still close enough to enjoy the view.
2 is a great number.

And of course...
This post is brought to you by 
the brilliance that is
Thomas Sturridge

You are Green Sheep...

Until next time.

Bye for now

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Robsten Rorschach III

I'm bored.
That's never a good thing.

Oh sure...
We have Kristen looking phenomenal in Australia
We got a 14 second teaser from Breaking Dawn 2
(It still amazes me what they manage to squeeze into 14 seconds)

And let's not forget the picture of Rob in a bar.
This fandom exploded at that.
As usual.

Some saw Rob sitting at a bar with some friends...
Some saw Rob being a cheating manwhore
Some saw Rob being single!

Which brings me to this post.
A few years ago I did a "Robsten Rorschach" test.

You know...
You look at a picture and tell what you see.
And that is so fitting for this fandom.
Because everyone sees something different.

So let me introduce our players:

  Nasty Ninnie
(Yes... their brains are being sucked out of their nasty heads)

 Shaky Shipper
(Always waiting for the other shoe to drop)

  Bitter Berts
(Well, the name speaks for itself.)

 Abby Normal
(As normal as you can get with this fanbase)

Let's start with an easy one...

 Yes, Rob and Kristen are holding hands but... OH NO!
What if there is a crack in the pavement and they trip and fall
and their hands are torn apart! What will we do then??

 Please. There is NO hand holding.
They know the paps are there.
I can see Kristen flipping them off!!

 Rob is a cheating douche!
Why isn't he making more of an effort 
to hold her hand back?

 One of the sweetest pictures
      that kinda started it all. 
Rob looks so happy.
Kristen looks happy.

 Oh dear! Who is that girl right next to them?
Why is Rob so close to that girl?
Who is that girl? Why does she have to be there?

 PR! PR! PR!
Rob looks like he thinks KStew smells.
He's only getting close to her because it's loud
and he wants her to hear what he's saying.

 Rob is a famewhore!
He is using Kris to get attention!
He was probably there to see a dozen different girls.

One of my favorite pictures!
The smile on his face says it all.
If he were any closer they would be kissing...

 Is Kristen wearing her ring?
Where is her necklace?
Are they fighting? Is something wrong?
Why does Rob look so upset? WHY??

 Kristen looks horrible.
I think this picture was staged.
As usual they look miserable together.
Rob looks like he hates that shes touching him!
She's only trying to get his lighter from him.

 Is Rob drunk?
He looks thrilled to be with Kris.
He probably can't wait until she goes out of town again
so that he can go hit the bars.
Garrett would never do that.

I have a feeling that although this picture
wasn't meant to be seen by the public...
This is how Rob and Kristen are ALL the time.
Constantly touching.

 Who is Rob smiling at?
He better not be smiling at another girl!
Why aren't they just married already?
Did they just have a fight so Kristen is being nice to him?
Is she wearing her ring?? Is she??

 PR! PR! PR!
This is so staged!
They knew the paps were there.
Kristen is about to flip off someone!
Rob looks uncomfortable next to her.
Why is he in Paris anyway?
It MUST be work related.
It must be!

 Rob is a horrible boyfriend
He should have his arm around her!
Kris always has to do everything.
He's a douche and a wanker.
Where's Garrett?

 Robert flew to Paris
JUST to be with Kristen.
Look how happy he is!
He is exactly where he wants to be.

 Oh dear. Oh my.
Rob has signed on for 5 movies!
How are they ever going to be together again!
What if they don't do BD2 promo together?
Is she wearing her ring?
I wish they could just stay in this bubble forever.
What if it pops? Do bubbles pop?
What are we going to do if it pops?

Rob is SO drunk he would be all over anyone.
He has to be drunk to be with her.
It looks like he is just consoling her.
They NEVER kissed.
It's all smoke and mirrors!
Rob is just counting the days until he can
be away from HER forever!
They knew the cameras were there!
I will never believe they are together!!
She's flipping someone off!

Why is Rob the one facing the camera?
Huh? He's a lousy boyfriend.
He's probably drunk off his ass. Again.
Kristen has to deal with so much.
Where is Garrett?
Who cares if he's dating someone else.
I want Garrett!!!

 These pictures will NEVER get old.
Rob and Kristen snuggling and kissing and hugging
and kissing and hugging and laughing and kissing
and hugging and snuggling and kissing ...
Never. Get. Old.


So that concludes our Robsten Rorschach Test.

People see what they want to see.
Nothing is ever simple.
A Kiss is never just A Kiss.
It gets twisted and dissected
to fit an agenda.

But at the end of the day?
It really is just a KISS.
No agenda.
No motives.
Just two people in love.

Final thoughts?

1. I hope you giggled (at least a little bit)
at this post.
If you didn't... that's OK
It's not serious business.
But if you got annoyed at what I said...
Or thought I was talking about you?
I haven't used this saying in a while...
If the shoe fits
Slide that bitch on.

This post is brought to you by...

Who else?
Thomas Sturridge.

When he smiles... 
Angels sing.
Clouds part.
Suns shine.

And this post is also brought to you by 
my new favorite smiley.
This is for all the fools and idiots out there
who hate just for the sake of hating.

Until next time.

Bye for now