The information, content and images on
these pages are purely in fun
and are in no way meant to cause anyone harm, grief or despair.
If you are sensitive and lack a sense of humor,
please, don't go any further.
Some places, names, and events are fictional
and any resemblance, likeness,
or similarity to any person living or dead
is purely coincidental.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Rob and Kristen-- The Force is Strong

Really? Is it true??


I'm not sure what to say about the whole
"Auntie Monica" blog.
It doesn't ring true to me.
At all.
And yeah... I know some people will say that just 
because she supposedly said something that I don't want to hear.
But that's not true.

It just seems... off.

It appeared that within 24 hours of Rob’s film
Twilight being released, they had discovered our identity, our addresses
and telephone numbers. The press were on our doorsteps, on our family’s
doorsteps, they even found our mobile phone numbers, information not
available to the general public. We were horrified at the intrusion into
our private lives.

Yet... here we have "Aunt Monica" writing about Robert
and his personal relationships...
Naming her blog "Pattinson Connect"
when she is NOT a Pattinson
Yet HORRIFIED at the intrusion
into her private life.
Does that seem... logical?
She writes a blog about one of the most
famous people on the planet and puts his name 
in the title of her blog...
And then she complains about how awful it is to have 
this kind of intrusion into her private life.

Nose as long as a telephone wire...

Any Rob fans reading this - I’m sorry to disillusion you – these
journalists invented stories back then about Rob’s ‘imaginery’ personal
relationship with his co-star. Of course the publicity fuelled the
Hollywood hype about Rob. As they say, any publicity is good publicity.

And isn't THIS convenient?
How nice of sweet Auntie Monica to let us all know
that journalists invented stories... "Back Then".
How very vague of her.
Back then.
As in 2008 when the whole Twilight
phenomenon invaded dear Aunt Monica's life?
And lets not forget Rob's imaginary personal relationship.
Do you think Rob is so close to his Auntie
that he calls to let her know the status of his relationships...
whether they be imaginary or not?
The same Aunt... mind you...
That had an autographed picture from her famous nephew
that she was nice enough to share.
So close to him...
That she asked for an autograph
(who does that from a family member?)
So close that he signed it "To Monica"
and then his full name.
Sounds so personal... and sweet and loving... 

Yeah... sounds reasonable.
Fact of the matter is...
This is a lose/lose situation.
Because if this was Rob's dear sweet Auntie
then she did him a real disservice discussing his private life
something he obviously frowns upon
and which his close family and friends NEVER do.

From our sister Clare and her family there is only silence. Fame
overshadows reality.

And if it was indeed someone pretending to be
Robert's dear sweet Auntie Monica
if only to pursue a disgusting agenda
and try to get foothold on a slippery slope.
There is only silence.
The only thing I see that is overshadowed
is decency... respect... and loyalty.

Way to go Monica...
Whoever you may be.

You've really got a hold on me...

Final thoughts?

1. Outside of the PCA's
We haven't see hide nor hair of 
Robert or Kristen.
The usual tweets placing Robert all over the globe
in his never ending quest to be all places
at the same time....
But some people look at that as a bad thing.
No Rob and Kristen sightings.
It must mean they aren't together?
Not sure HOW that works exactly...
But the cling is strong with these people...
They don't seem to grasp that neither one of them
have been seen anywhere...
so why not assume they are ...
In fact...
They surely haven't been anywhere else...
With anyone else
have they?
They both seem to have gone underground
And we all know they live together
eat together
raise Bear together
Sleep together...
Don't we?
May the cling be with you.

You know she said yes...
2. Possible sightings of Rob in London?
Who the hell knows.
I'm finding these unsubstantiated tweets
(and I have the burning need to say
"Stop calling me Shirley")
A fan can take a fucking picture of him.
Of her.
Like one motherbitching picture.
Is that selfish of me?
Damn straight it is.
I miss Kristen's face.
I really do.
I imagine her to be all lovely and basking
in the glow of love
All rested and relaxed
And Roberts all adorable and sweet
and his buzz cut has grown back to a length
where he can pull his fingers through it again...
I'm a selfish bitch.
I give up.
I know that they have earned this quiet time.
I realize that they deserve peace.
But I am what a I am.
And I tried.
I really did.
You saw it.
I was all for this period of drought.
But there comes a time...
One taste... it's all I need...
When you need to have a drink.
A sip.. maybe.
Perhaps just a splash of moisture.
Then we can sustain more drought...

Holding hands. Again.
3. I had a 3... I really did...
but I keep going back and forth between here
and twitter 
and email
and gchat
and getting all discombobulated.

So I will end here.
Before my discom becomes more bobulated.

This post has been brought to you by 
My complete and utter adoration of 
Thomas Sturridge.
I 'heard' he shaved his beard.
Would love to see that face

Only in my dreams...
Because this is how I picture him already being..
Kinda scruffy.

And this post is also brought to you by the Cling.
The cling runs strong in the lunatic fringe.
But I think soon...
there will be a disturbance in the Cling.

Until then...

Bye for now

Friday, January 20, 2012

Dear Rob and Kristen and George.

George Knows.

Hi George!
It feels like its been a while since I've written to you.
Doesn't seem like there is much to say, George.
I will be honest with you.

Some good news...
Bel Ami will be at the Berlin International Film Festival.
I don't know all the details yet
but this is GREAT news!
Some interest in this movie!
Because I gotta tell you, George
I'm still wondering if I will be able to see this movie
in a theater near me anytime soon.
And I WANT to see DuRob.
Oh yes.
I do.

Completely Cute. Completely.

And are you ready for this, George?
Are you?

On Thursday, Jan. 26 in Los Angeles,
Kristen Stewart (Snow White), Charlize Theron (the evil Queen Ravenna)
and Chris Hemsworth (the Huntsman) will participate in
a brand-new edition of Moviefone's Unscripted for
"Snow White and the Huntsman"

Moviefone's Unscripted are the best...
So cute.
So funny.
I can't wait to see Kristen interact with her co-stars!!
I can't wait to see Kristen PERIOD!

So a couple of cool thing going on, George.
A couple.

Dear Rose...

And I wanted to share a couple of questions that I
always seem to get in multiples...
I'm not sure why, George.
But I kinda went through my emails
and pulled out the most asked.

What do you think, George?
Letters within letters.
within an email 
within a blog.
Cue the Twilight Zone music please.

Why do you persist on lying about Rob and Kristen being together?
What PROOF do you have in the 3 years you believe that they
have been in a relationship?
Not counting red carpet/on screen pictures
or obvious PR pictures
what have you seen?
You and the other stupid sheep are so blind.
Give it up already.
--From Anonymous

So damn happy together.

Dear A Non--
I love this question.
I really do.
And I love how it comes with stipulations.
"Obvious PR"
Like the above picture?

Going in for the kissssssssss
This one?
Yeah. OK.
We have seen countless pictures of
Robert and Kristen holding hands... kissing
being all sweet and snuggly
OFF screen 

You just WISH he looked that happy to see YOU.
And people like YOU dismiss them to being PR.
That's kinda your excuse for ALL the pics of them
being all sweet and cute and coupley.

She really has a hold of him... doesn't she?

So what proof do I have?
Just that Rob and Kristen have been seen doing all 
the things couples do...
Stuff that people in relationships DO
and instead of just facing it...
You hide behind "PR".
Show me pictures of Rob with anyone else...
Or Kristen with anyone else.
Doing anything close to the above pictures.
On their own time.
That's why I believe they are a couple.
Because they keep acting like one.

Seriously... they NEVER look at anyone else like they look at each other.

Are you behind BWAN and/or SillyNonstens?
They say stuff like 'ninnies' and seem to
hate the Nonstens as much as you do.
Why do you give them attention?
-- Drama Free

Dear DF--
How sweet (and rather unimaginative) of you to think of me when
reading BWAN/SillyNonstens blogs.
But do you seriously think I'm the only person out there
who has noticed the 'ninnies'?
And Three blogs/Twitter? Really?
No. This is the only blog I write for.
Although I do agree with some (not all) of what they say
And I find it amusing that they call out people
on their hypocritical bullshit
That is SO not my style.
I have never called out people by name
or made it personal.
I hate No One.
I point my finger in a general direction
and let people come to their own conclusions.
And in all seriousness?
The whole Nonsten/Robsten lunacy kinda bores me.
It just seems... tired.
I've tried to stay out of the drama pool as of late
(OK, maybe sticking a toe in now and then)
So I will leave the Ninnie stuff to the pros.
They are pretty good at making them look like idiots...
They don't need me.
Ninnie and proud of it!

How dare me.


You are OBSESSED with Rob! How does your family feel about
their wife/sister/mother/daughter being obsessed with
an actor who doesn't know she exists?
--You suck

You NEVER talk about Rob anymore!
You never defend him, only Kristen!
You might has well just change the name of your blog!
-- Rob lover
Dear Suck Lover--

I can't win for losing can I?
Either I'm obsessed with Rob
or I completely ignore him.
Which is it?
How confusing!
First off...
I've not 'obsessed' over Robert in quite some time.
I admire him.
I find him attractive.
I think he's adorable and funny and goofy and sweet.
I admit that I did have an obsession of sorts...
But while it might have been intense
It was also not that long lived.
Now I'm a fan. How completely boring!
And besides... I adore Kristen as well
and they are so adorably cute together.
I won't even go into the defending bullshit.
I pick what I want to talk about... or defend (as it were)
And its what hits me at the moment.
And let's face it
Kristen gets hit with way more bullshit than Robert.
And for some reason...
I feel she needs my defending more than
big strapping headboard busting Rob.
Ya know?

They never seem to get anywhere.

That's it for now, George.
There's only so much email I can look at 
without getting a stomachache.
Usually from laughing so damn hard.
I did want to touch on a couple of last thoughts though...

1. This fandom MISSES Rob and Kristen.
And they get all jumpy and irritable and annoying and needy
when they stay out of sight.
I kinda like the thought of them all snuggled on their couch
Bear snoring next to them...
Watching some old classic movie
and eating something delicious that Kristen made.

They've had LOTS of practice. Lots.

So we have to put up with the idiots who lie
about seeing them...
And the idiots who just say shit to stir the pot.
And we have to remember that this is THEIR time.
Not ours.
It won't be too much longer.

and George...

I'm here... but I would rather be anywhere else...

2. Thomas Sturridge.
Lots of rumors about engagements
and weddings
oh my.
Will Tom and Sienna get married?
I'm not sure why that is so hard for 
me to wrap my head around.
But I do want Tom to be happy.
Wouldn't it be nice to see a picture of happy Tom?
(Yeah, I know it will be with Sienna... hahaha)
But that's OK.
As long as he is happy...
and smiling his lopsided smile.

Thanks for listening George.

Until next time.

Bye for now

Monday, January 16, 2012

Rob and Kristen-- Dance

A Vast Wasteland

It seems like its been forever.
Oh I know...
Rob was at the PCA's...
but turn around and he's gone.

Yeah. Exactly.


No more Rob.
And we haven't seen Kristen since before Christmas.
Oh sure...
They have been seen out and about
Especially at their GO TO place The Soho House...
But for the most part they have stayed out of sight.
And honestly
It's not that they haven't gone out...
You know they do.
But they've gotten quite good at being hidden...
In the open.
Right under your nose. And mine.
Of course they both have admitted that they love staying in too
You know...
They were apart for weeks at a time while working...
I guess they have lots of together time to make up for

Cooking makes Kristen happy. And Rob too.
And I imagine Kristen is learning lots of new
healthy things to cook
Having fun testing out her food on Rob...
Something I'm sure he doesn't mind in the least.

Hot Balenciaga

So Kristen was chosen as the face of Balenciaga's  new fragrance.
How fucking awesome is that?
I love it.
I'm beyond thrilled for her.
And no...
I'm not one of those fashion chicks
who knows what is what...
I'm woefully lacking in fashion skills.
But I know what I like
And I'm always interested in what Kristen is wearing
because she always surprises...
and looks great doing it.
The picture above is a dress by Balenciaga...
One of my favorite looks of Kristen's.
Completely Gorgeous.

Congratulations Kristen!!

Let's Dance!

So other than going through an incredible Kristen drought
and frenzied Robert drought...
What else is new?

Not much.
Same Shit.
Different Day.

But I did have a friend tell me this amusing story...
and since there isn't much else to talk about
I thought I would share.

Once upon a time
There was this wonderful couple
Fred and Ginger

"Don't forget Ginger Rogers did everything he did backwards...and in high heels!"

So one day...
Fred went out and bought a second hand bedroom set
with a second hand mattress for a guest bedroom
(I know... gross)
So Fred brings home this bedroom set...
and about a month later
Fred is on the phone...
bragging about the DEAL he got on this purchase
because he got it all secondhand cheap
(And Fred isn't lacking in funds.)
And all of a sudden...
Ginger's head turns around like an owl

And Fred was so thick that he was like...
"What... is that bad?"

Now... up to that point no one had slept on said mattress...
Only the puppy had found it comfortable.
But Ginger made Fred drag the mattress outside to the curb
for the garbage pickup...
And while it was sitting outside
The dog started jumping on it
And Ginger is yelling at him to get off of it
And then the puppy pisses on it.

Yeah? What are you going to do about it?

They finally get the puppy in the house...
and go about their business
 someone pulls up and starts to pick up
said pissed on mattress...
Ginger hears this and goes running outside
wearing only a t-shirt... 
(She was.. in a rush)
 Ginger is yelling...
"Stop! Stop! It's pissed!"
And then we have Fred running after Ginger
because she is barely covered
and he is worried someone will see her like that...
but Ginger doesn't get to them in time
and they get the mattress and drive away as fast as they can
thinking that maybe Ginger is trying to stop them from taking it...
And there stands Fred and Ginger.
In their t-shirts.

Oh that Fred.
Always getting into trouble...
Making Ginger laugh everyday.
Ginger is lucky to have Fred.

Moral of the story?
Don't buy secondhand mattresses.
Or pick them up at the curb.
And Dance.
Like Fred and Ginger.

LOVE their faces here... SO happy to see each other.

So anything else?
I don't know.
I've been busy mourning my Green Bay Packers.
They lost.
I'm sure you don't really care.
But I've been born and raised a Packer fan...
and to see them fall apart on such a stage
is rather heartbreaking.

It's OK, Aaron... You're still the MVP of the league.

But it does make the next few weeks less stressful.
And now I don't care about the Super Bowl.
So I can take a deep breath...
and enjoy the food
and the drink.
Especially the drink...

So this post is brought to you by Tom Sturridge.
I hesitate to say I miss him...
Because you know what happens when I do.
Within a day or two...
Pictures of him cavorting about with Ms Miller
Always seem to show up.
Careful what you wish for...

Leave him alone...
Poor sweet Tom.
You know he doesn't enjoy having his picture taken.
Even when he's supposed to like it.
He looks like he can't wait to get the hell out of there.

I adore him.
If I do have to see a picture of Tom...
Let him at least be smiling and happy.

I also don't want to say
that I want a picture of Rob and Kristen.
Because I don't.
I love this.
I'm happy for them.
I know they are happy.

Bye for now

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Robert Pattinson-- Kristen Stewart

Now we know who the 'mystery' blonde is...

How absolutely adorable is this picture?
How can anyone NOT look sweet next to Betty White?
Even a buzzed Robert Pattinson.

Yes Folks.
Robert buzzed off his hair for the 
Peoples Choice Awards.


Well... it's not...
But in this fandom
Everything is lame ass drama.

Let's face it.
Robert looks good any old way he chooses to wear his hair.
And if its not your cup of tea...
Couple of things.

1. Maybe Rob did it for a new role.

2. Maybe he woke up with Kristen's gum in his hair
and she had to buzz it all off for him.

3. Maybe Rob has done this before...

New Year. New Hair.

And maybe he just likes to start the new year
with his hair the way he wants to.

4. Did Rob ask for you input on his hair?

5. It's only fucking hair.
So no matter what length or style you prefer
It will grow back.

6. Robert does NOT look fat.
He looks... content.
I imagine he went back home to Kristen...
And she had one of her magnificent meals
waiting for him.

Robert + Kristen = Happy

So his hair wasn't the only drama...
oh no.
Never just one drama.

Rob was drunk?
Rob was sloppy and messy in what he wore?

Rob wasn't drunk.
Do people even know what drunk looks like?
How unprofessional would he be to come to an
award show seen by millions...
And be publicly intoxicated?

It irritates me to no end that people just
fucking need to criticize him no matter what he does.
He appeared a bit solemn.
Hardly drunk.
But he never shines as brightly when Kristen
isn't around him.
You may argue with me on that detail...
But truth is fucking truth.
Look at him when shes there.
Major difference.
Big smiles.
Smiles that reach his eyes.
(and with Miss Betty White
but who wouldn't smile with her??)

Oh of course some people claim that Rob
is ONLY drunk when he's with Kristen...
I guess when you are drunk with delusions
you have to come up with excuses as to why
Robert held Kristen's hand and kissed her
at the WFE premiere.
Right. Right.

Anyone But Kristen

As for his wardrobe?
Big fucking deal.
No... he wasn't wearing a suit.
And yeah... he was pretty casual.
But Rob knows when its important to wear a suit.
And maybe...
After weeks and weeks of dressing up and being paraded
around for BD1 promotion in suit after suit...
Just maybe he didn't fucking FEEL like dressing up.
And its the Peoples Choice Awards...
Not exactly Glam material.
I'm guessing he didn't want to go anyway...
He pretty much admitted that 
"I don't know why they have me accepting this award"
He did his part.
So back the fuck off.
Leave him alone.
His hair is fine.
His clothes were fine.
Shut up.

Dear Rose...
Bel Ami.
I'm looking forward to this...
They better not let me down and not show it around here.
I want DuRob.
Don't deny me.

Final thoughts.

1. We finally get to see Rob
looking all cute next to Betty White...
And people fucking complain.
Blah Blah Blah.
Just goes to show that no matter what he does
Or how he does it
It's never good enough for some people.
Some just fucking LIVE to whine.
Always waiting for that other shoe to drop
Always looking for the negative.
Always wanting to hate.

Rob was on TV.
He looked wonderful.
He accepted an award.
He was adorable.
 Let's leave it at that.

2. I won't even go into the whole seating chart drama.
(OK, maybe a little)
Let's just say...
People spent a considerable amount of time
debating and whining 
over whether or not Kristen would show up.
Why would she?
Would you?
Just take the intense scrutiny that Rob received last night...
and multiply that by a million
If Kristen showed up.
Who needs that?
People Choice Awards.
So not worth that.
Kristen can pick her battles.
(WFE premiere for example... heh)

Green Sheep.

3. I adore Tom Sturridge.
But you all know that.
I'm not shy about it.
I love his beard.
I love the way he dresses.
I love most of his hats
(the ratty baseball one needs to be retired)

I love his eyes.
His voice.
His lopsided smile.
And I still do.
Even with impending fatherhood.
Happy Tom
Makes for a 
Happy Rose.

This post is brought to you by Cheese.
It goes good with the whine.

(lame? Yeah... but apt. APT!)

Until next time.

Bye for now