The information, content and images on
these pages are purely in fun
and are in no way meant to cause anyone harm, grief or despair.
If you are sensitive and lack a sense of humor,
please, don't go any further.
Some places, names, and events are fictional
and any resemblance, likeness,
or similarity to any person living or dead
is purely coincidental.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Bee Leave

Look at this picture.

So much drama out of something so simple.

1.  Rob got pulled over!
(except it doesn't look like anyone is in the police car
Unless its a robot cop car in which case
I suppose anything is possible!)

2. Rob was going to Kristen's house!

3. Rob was coming from Kristen's house!

4. Rob was coming from any number of mysterious
blondes/brunettes/redhead's houses!

5. Endless circles of all colors to show everyone
where Rob really was!!
SEE!! He wasn't near Kristen!!

6. Rob was wearing a hat that Kristen wore
sometime in the near or distant past.
Or she will wear it.

7. Rob was going to the car wash!
(we can only hope)

8. That picture wasn't taken Saturday.
It was Friday. Or Monday.
Or some other day
because for reasons unknown its
a life or death situation to know exactly
WHEN Rob was driving that car.

The point is...
The real focal point of these pictures
is the fucking car!!

It's the CLOWN CAR!

I wasn't even sure he still had that car
let alone still drove it!
Wonder where it was stored ALL this time?

Let's see...
Imagine that you are an 80+ old hag
whose only claim to fame is insulting anyone
who gets you attention.
So you write a book.
It's a 'comedy' book.
No one cares.
Who has a loud and protective fanbase?
Insert Kristen Stewart.

Now here's the deal.
Joan Rivers is a comedian.
Her thing is to insult famous people
as rudely and crudely as possible.
Hey... those who can't...
spew shit at those who can.
Thing is...
If people would just let it go
(And I'm really looking at you Gossip Cop...
was it necessary to retweet that article endlessly?)
It would disappear.
But no.
And now she has said Kristen's lawyers
have contacted her lawyers.

Is this even true?
Or another attention ploy by Joan?
Has anyone but her said anything about this?
Should we take her word for it?
After dealing with 2 years of lame and pathetic insults
Why would she call out Joan Rivers?
It doesn't make much sense to me.
It doesn't seem her 'style' 
I don't know if I believe it.

I mean... if it IS true...
I get where sometimes you just want to fucking
draw that line and say 
'Stop already'
But it still doesn't ring true to me.
I guess time will tell.

The Rover.


I guess the Box Office wasn't that great.
But isn't the important thing
the praise that Rob got playing the part?
Shouldn't that be the focus?

Instead we get...

1. Kristen sued Joan Rivers
JUST to hurt the Rover's box office.
(yes, people really said that)

2.  Endless arguments over whose movies
did worse than his movies that did
better than her movies that made more money
than his movies and were seen by more people
than her movies.

3. It's fairly obvious to me that 
both Rob and Kristen choose movies based on the story
and who they will be working with.
I'm not saying they wouldn't like one of their movies
to be a 'phenomenon' again
(can't you just hear Oprah saying that?)
But they didn't expect Twilight to go that route either.
It's the work that is important.
It's getting recognized for that work.
And I think both Rob and Kristen
are doing just that.

4. Yes you CAN be a fan of both
Rob and Kristen.
Only bitter hags believe otherwise.
Sorry if that particular shoe fits...
But you know how the saying goes.

This could be happening RIGHT now...

Someday Soon...
You will

Let's talk conspiracies!!
YaY!!! FuN!!

1. Rob and Kristen were never together
and just posed all loving and cute for paparazzi
because we all know how much they LOVE the paps
and that they would pimp out their private relationship
for money and promotion.

2. That not only are Rob and Kristen secretly
married... but they have a 3+ month old baby.
(age? sex? location?)
No matter that no one else in the world has EVER
thought Kristen looked remotely pregnant in any way.
Is it odd that no one else noticed?
Two of the most photographed and hounded
celebrities in the world...
and nothing from anyone.
I truly don't give a fuck what people believe...
The only reason I even bring this up is because it came
to my attention that Lamey talked about it on her site.

"I keep getting these emails, usually twice a week,
 from random Twi-Hards (is that redundant?) 
trying to convince me of their latest conspiracy:
 Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have a secret baby 
and we all missed her pregnancy."

Lainey is a bitch when it comes to Rob and Kristen...
So why write to her about this?
WHY... CHUCK.... WHY???
Good fucking grief.
I swear... Sometimes this fandom puts the Ass in Embarrassing.

3. That Rob is currently going out with either
Rebecca Dayan (a model!)
Imogen Kerr (Dakota's friend?)
(actress? model? No idea)
Rebecca was seen going to THE ROVER premiere
So yeah... that's all it takes.
As for Imogen...
She was seen with Rob one night
(with a group of people)
and somehow its 'confirmed'
So yeah... that's all it takes.
And lets not forget KATY PERRY!!!
Every other day he is hooking up with her!!
And honestly... did he ever break it off with Dylan and Riley??
Remember...they were CONFIRMED too!
Does Rob just rotate on a daily basis?
Rob has his own version of
Sister Girlfriends!
(New this September! Only on E!
Check local listings for channels in your area)
And somehow no one ever gets anything more
than Rob in the same space as these people.
Sometimes not even that.
So yeah... that's all it takes.

This post is brought to you by the word Conspiracy.

It's really not that complicated.
Or serious.

And no matter what happens in the lives of
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart
it shouldn't affect yours so profoundly.

Live your life.
You can't live theirs.

And this post is brought to you by...

Tom Sturridge.
Who has managed to be in a relationship
(With high profile Sienna Miller)
and have a real (utterly adorable) child
with relatively little drama.

Bright are the stars that shine..
Dark is the sky.

He is one of those shiny bright stars.

Until next time.

Smile and be happy.


Bye for now.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Stewy's House of Joy

 You have to laugh at the fandom madness...
Don't you?

I mean.

There are so many people writing novels on Twitter
(via twitlongers)
pontificating on the right and wrong way 
to be a TRUE fan.
Preaching on what you should believe or not believe
and if you don't believe what they believe
than you are a delusional fucknut.
I like that word.
Even if its not a word.

Delusional is WAY overused in this fandom.
But to be honest...
I think everyone in it is a wee bit 
on the delusional side.
You kinda have to be with the shit 
we have to deal with.

Rob and Kristen don't hand out 
a lot of private information.
They never have.
(and yes... I know...
They don't owe us any of that
and we shouldn't focus on that...
blah blah blah)

(Damn... I'm on this side of bitchy today, aren't I?)

Where was I?

Oh hell.

(And this is to the Robsessed Fringe)
If you want to focus on Rob answering
'yeah, isn't it exciting'
(and is that extremely sarcastic or what?)
to whether or not he is single...
I say

Bask in all the glory of a single Rob
if that's what you so desire!
But beware...
It's like your continuous scrutiny 
of Rob's crotch...
It might keep your ovaries exploding

But you will never be fully satisfied.
( and ew ew ew... creepy)
Because let's be real... OK?
If Rob shows up with anyone.
(Not just Kristen)
It will be mere seconds until you find fault with her
and deem her 'not good enough'...
and start hating on her, too.
You know its true.

And next?

Like I previously mentioned...
I GET it that Rob and Kristen are private
and they don't discuss their personal lives for a reason
I get that we as REAL fans should be focusing on their
careers and etc... etc... etc.
But the thing is?
We fucking watched these two people fall in love

So fucking FORGIVE me
if I happened to love them being in love
and like seeing them together
and still believe in them.
Because as long as I believe
that they haven't 'moved' on from one another
(and no... sorry... I don't believe they have)
I'm going to continue to believe
in whatever the fuck I want to believe.
 Have I typed BELIEVE enough for you today?

Do I think they are married with a hidden child?
Do I think they hate each other?
Do I think they have taken a step back
to focus on their careers
(which they are obviously very serious about)
and hoping people could see them as individuals
and not as some sort of connected commodity?
I do.

And since I am capable of logical rational thought
(Gasp. Shock.)
I realize that things aren't the 'same' as they once were.
They need to figure out how best 
to live their lives to be happy... 
Whatever it takes.
(220... 221.)
(Vague movie reference.)
(Sorry. I'm rambling)
(But these things just pop into my
logical rational head)

It can't be easy living in the eye of the hurricane...

But at least they aren't alone.
(Nudge. Nudge. Wink. Wink.)

So it's been a year since the 'supposed' break up
of the 'supposed' relationship
and nothing?
From either of them?
No new guy... no new girl?
Two of the most beautiful people
on the face of this very earth
and they have yet to find someone else
to even date a couple of times?

I mean...
We get sightings of them out and about
all the time.
We get pap pics.
And no one ever sees Rob (or Kristen) with anyone
(well, mystery blonds/brunettes/redheads that turn
out to be friends/coworkers but they don't count...)
And if you are going to tell me that they would 
NEVER expose someone else to their crazy pap-filled lives...
That they will hide any relationships to protect them
Can't that be said of each other?
I'm going to guarantee
(yeah, I said it)
that Rob and Kristen see each other a lot.
Just not in public.
They have homes (or under arches)
where they can hang out
catch up on the latest dog food recipes
and figure out how to save that cactus
on the deck that doesn't want to flower.
They can exist outside of the public eye.
And do.

Come one. Come all.

Will that ever change?
Well. I guess that's something
that remains to be seen.
Sooner or later
Rob and Kristen will have to step out with SOMEONE
Won't they?
(Will we be surprised with who?)
And for some reason that makes me want to add
*maniacal laughter*

This post is brought to you by the bottom line.

1. I don't fucking care if you agree with me or not
I've learned long ago

"That it's all right now
I learned my lesson well.
You see, you can't please everyone
So you got to please yourself."

(Thanks Ricky Nelson)

2. I believe what I know.
I know what I believe.

3. Don't people ever tire of the continuous drama?
It's not your life, you know...
Being a fan isn't a job.
A little debate now and then is expected
but full on attacks over 2 celebrities?
Kinda lame... right?
It's not that serious.
Take a deep breath.
It's really going to be OK.

4. I adore Tom Sturridge

I'm always going to add him into every fucking post.
He's my Green Sheep.
And don't think you know.
Because you don't.

5. A baker's dozen of Believe.
that would make it 14.

6. Be happy.
Enjoy being a fan
whatever that entails.
Don't try to hurt someone.
Don't get personal.
Don't let someone else tell you what to say
or what to think
Don't censor your thoughts
because you are afraid of what others will do.
Tell the truth.
Be brave.
Have fun.
Have an opinion.
Stand up for what you believe
(OK, that makes 15)
Have faith.
But most of all...

It's Fine.
We're Fine.

Until next time.

Bye for now

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Stop! In the Name of Love!

I'm not sure what to write about.

Rob was Australia and did a premiere
The movie is getting great reviews
Especially Rob.

Isn't that wonderful?

Kinda like how Sils Maria 
was getting great reviews in Cannes
Especially Kristen.

Seriously the most gorgeous picture of Kristen. Ever.

Isn't that wonderful?

Shouldn't you be happy if you are a fan of Rob and Kristen's?
Their future is so bright!

But yet... Drama still spins.

Let's see...

1. There was a picture of Kristen in L.A.
But wait... isn't she still filming in NOLA?
So she's on her way to NYC?
There was a picture of her actually IN L.A...
(You know... her and Rob have some major 
dog discussions coming up. Important plant planning.
These things take hours and hours... Maybe days. Weeks.)
But then again
There was a tweet about seeing her going to NYC.
And a lot of 'photo assumption'
Which is what this fandom EXCELS at.
So where the hell is she?
Last known location... L.A. California.
Anything else we are waiting on receipts.
I do love how she is able to fly all over the place
without much notice.
Just makes you think how many times 
she has gone somewhere and never been seen.

2. There was a Vine video.
Gotta admit...I kinda hate them.
All jumpy and loud and annoying.
But this one had Kristen in it.
And you can hear her say "Me and Rob"
and possibly "kissing" "work"
I don't know.
I only watched it three times.
At first people said 
But I'm satisfied that's her voice.
I think everyone kinda knows that much.
And I'm told that the video was from NYC
 people said from March...
My point?
I have no fucking point.
I'm pretty fucking sure that Rob and Kristen
Not only talk...
But SEE each other.
So the fact that Kristen talks about Rob
is not really surprising.
(but lotsa cute that it was on video)
Either was the Ninnie response
"Kristen put that out there and talked about
Rob to stay relevant!"

Yeah. OK.
Because she needs to put out a bizarre
vine video that was months old...
to stay relevant.
Sure. Sure.

3. Joan Rivers.
She made a nasty comment about Kristen in her book.
People made MUCH more of this than deserved.
Yeah...she's a dried up old bitch.
But this is her fucking shtick...
WHO CARES what she says?
Unfortunately people throw in Rob or Kristen's name
to get attention.
It's been going on for years.
(Hello Donald Trump)
I can tell you one thing for sure...
Tweeting at her and ranting at her
doesn't hurt her at all.
She wants attention.
Why give it to her?
Why give it to anyone who slams Rob or Kristen?
This fandom's 'rabid' reputation is embarrassing.
And people push the buttons 
and get the desired result.

5. Lots of random bizarro bullshit.

I'm not even talking about the invisible 'bump'
that has now led to an invisible baby.

I guess if people want to cling to that...
Go for it.

But now I've heard some people think Kristen has stretch marks?

Just NO.
Absolutely NOT.


6. E! Online and Gossip Cop
Does anyone believe anything they write anymore?
E! has been continuously wrong about Rob and Kristen.
They STILL bring up Riley and Dylan.
They can't even admit how off the mark they were.
As for Gossip Cop?
They did actually used to 'bust' bad gossip.
(let's face it... isn't it ALL bad?)
Now they repost shit that most people would
never see 
Just because it has Rob and/or Kristen attached to it.
Horrible vile bullshit.
And here is just another case of someone
using Rob and Kristen to get hits.
Gossip Cops comment section is legendary 
for attracting the most extreme of the Lunatic Fringe.
Bravo! You must be so proud!
You are now the bottom of the barrel!

For someone to suggest that E! and GC are somehow
on Rob's payroll...
for the SOLE purpose of trashing Kristen?
Blatant Rubbish!
There is no upside for Rob to do such a thing.
Just like all the Robsessed Ninnies who seem to think
Kristen has devised some scheme to sabotage Rob.

I know it's hard for some to realize
but Rob and Kristen aren't enemies.
They aren't competing.
They aren't out to hurt the other.
You really think Rob's 'team' would push
July 2012 as a way to hurt her?
You really think he wants that being brought
up over and over again?
They both get slammed when that is mentioned.
So why would they?
Makes zero sense.

And I know that those deepest of the Robsessed Mommies
out there really want to believe that 
Rob has nothing to do with Kristen.
But oh...
Oh dear.
Won't you be surprised?

7.  Tom Sturridge

Completely adore.

This post is brought to you by the fandom police.

Stop it.
We don't need you.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion
and being able to speak about it on Twitter.
You don't get to decide what is good
or anything else.

As long as they aren't HURTING or trashing someone
personally... professionally
Then back the fuck off.

Not everyone is going to agree
and in this fandom...
that is sadly more true than ever right now.
But don't you find opposing viewpoints... interesting?
Surely having everyone thinking the same thing
without variation... is...
Boring? Stifling?

(Bwahahaha... fucking LOVE Young Frankenstein)

How about to each their own?

Even if its wrong.

Until next time.


Bye for now.

Sunday, June 1, 2014

What's In a Word?

I love words.
LOVE them.

I love when people use words that aren't normally used.
I love when people use odd words
different words
Out of the ordinary words.
Words that make people think.

Words like "Blithely"

Do you think a lot of people had to run to the dictionary
and look up what it meant?
I'm guessing... Yes.

And even then the Lunatic Ninnies seem to get it wrong.
I suppose reading words
and actually comprehending what they mean...
are worlds apart in NinnieLand.

There were 2 instances where Rob answered 'Yeah'
to a question...
And its amazing how the Fringe altered
the meaning just to suit their agenda.

First off...
Let's look at the first "YEAH"

Rob on "Le Grand Journal"

He was asked the infamous question...

Sebastian: We have huge guests right now,
 it's not Kev Adams or Tomer Sisley, it's Robert and Guy
 and I found a family from Cannes this morning
 who own a hairdressing salon, 
there's Lena, Aunt Yvonne, the whole family is here
 and they have a question: 
Robert are you single? 
And if you are, does the whole family have a shot with you?

Rob: Huh, yeah.

and then lets go right to the next 'Yeah'

Was the word "Dreamy" invented for this picture?

The interviewer (of course)
brought up Kristen...

He won't talk about any of that.
 But are they still in contact?

 "Oh, yeah," he says blithely.

So if you are to believe the Fringe...
When Rob answered 'Huh, Yeah'
to the question of being single and a family having
a 'shot' with him...

(but to be fair.. he never said it)

(Or was he responding in a polite manner?)
Did you expect him to say..
 NO! to these fans?
On TV?

But then again...

When Rob (blithely)
says "OH YEAH"
to whether he is still in contact with Kristen

(Well DUH. I mean...
He has to get together with her for hours at a time
so they can discuss dog food and plant care)

The Fringe dismiss it as nothing.
(Yet, he has yet to truly ACT single)

You get my point... right?
How basically a YEAH
can be interpreted in oh so many ways.

Too bad he didn't answer like this...

But "Blithely" will do.

And that leads me to another thing.
How this fandom KILLS perfectly good words.
You know Blithely will die a horrible death now.
Hell... I've already used it 4 times.

So it will be overused... and abused
just like

;) wink
Ded (or dead)
You need to get laid
Get a life
TRUE fan

I could probably go on...
And I know I played a part in overusing these words too...
I profoundly apologize for bringing "Twirl" into
the fandom vernacular.
Forgive me.
I guess I just hate to see good hardworking words
lose all meaning.

"It's only words, and words are all
I have to take your heart away"

Everyone seems to have their own spin
on what was said
what was implied.
And no matter what happens
That will never change.

But if you adore Rob and Kristen
(which I do)
And you believe that they are still connected
(which I do)
and that they are still in each others lives
(which I do)
Then you shouldn't be surprised
if someday (soon please)
We will see this


Because some things cannot be denied.
And love is fucking long, my friends
to the moon and back.

This post is brought to you by LOVE

Can you blithely love someone?

The following quote is
kinda how I always felt Rob and Kristen
love each other...
(No, I'm not confusing them with Edward and Bella, Sorry)

From the movie "Meet Joe Black"

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. 
I say, fall head over heels.
 Find someone you can love like crazy 
and who will love you the same way back. 
How do you find them?
 Well, you forget your head, and you listen to your heart. 
And I'm not hearing any heart.
 Cause the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. 
To make the journey and not fall deeply in love,
 well, you haven't lived a life at all.
 But you have to try, cause if you haven't tried,
 you haven't lived.

and of course...
This post is brought to you
by my undying adoration
of Thomas Sturridge

Green. Fucking. Sheep.

Until next time.

Love will find a way.

Bye for now
Hang in there.