I started this blog to figure out my feelings
about Robert Pattinson.
Writing has always been a form of therapy for me...
I've needed it this past week.
There is a lot of speculation right now.
There are a lot of 'insiders' giving tabloids the scoop.
There are a lot of lies and whispers.
There is a lot of bullshit.
99% of it is what you think you know.
Because everything else is shit.
If Rob and/or Kristen
(and that includes Nick, Steph, Ruth or their immediate family)
haven't said it...
Then its all theories and guessing.
and what have we heard from any of them?
What We Actually Know.
1. Creepy pics of gross director with his arms around Kristen
and kissing her in her car.
2. Kristen's apology to everyone she hurt...
and her desperate love for Rob.
What We Think We Know.
1. Pics of U-Haul truck seen at Los Feliz home.
Logically we can assume someone moved out.
No one is seen.
No statement is made.
Who would want to stay in a home with
a zillion paparazzi camped outside your door?
That's about it.
What A Fool Believes.
1. Everything else.
That goes for any 'source' who claims to be close
to either Rob or Kristen but is yet spilling to Gossip Cop
or some other media outlet.
No one who loves and cares about Rob and Kristen
are sharing their pain with gossip rags.
Everything else is assumption and speculation.
And please stop fucking trying to blame Rob for this.
People are out of fucking control.
What I Believe.
1. People on twitter continue to mourn this situation.
I know everyone grieves differently.
And hey... to each their own.
I'm not telling anyone how to feel.
I'm just telling you how I feel.
I don't wallow in grief.
I'm tired of being sad.
I'm broken heart/sad faced out.
I prefer hope.
I have faith in forgiveness.
That's not me saying I think
Rob and Kristen getting back together is a done deal.
I don't offer false hope.
But this is me accepting the possibility that
they can find their way back to each other.
2. Rob and Kristen love each other.
That kind of love doesn't go away overnight.
And they will figure this out...
What's best for them.
Whether it's together or apart.
I just want them to be happy.
What I Know.
1. I know that a lot of people I thought I knew
really disappointed me.
So quick to throw Kristen away.
So many who only pretended to be her fan...
have now come out full force in hating her.
I hope you feel better bashing her now...
You feel justified somehow... right?
Like you KNEW all along she was bad for Rob?
You still don't matter.
And guess what?
Kristen STILL owns you.
You can't stop talking about her.
Obsessing over her.
Enjoy your foaming...
because it's still bitter
and no matter what happens to Rob and Kristen
It won't change your sad life.
2. People have asked me if I will continue to write my blog.
I'm still intoxicated with Robert Pattinson...
As long as he gives me this...
Oh... and this...
I'm in for the long haul.
I'm not going anywhere.
(Sorry if that disappoints you)
I just want Robert to be OK.
I just want to see him laugh again.
I just want him to be happy.
And I want the same for Kristen.
And that is where I will leave this topic.
I'm done with it for now.
So many people have said so many things...
(Have you ever seen SO many Twitlongers?)
And I don't need to add to the dark cloud
hanging over this fandom.
Sometimes you just have to know when to let it go.
It's like a bloody sore.
We keep picking at it...
Sometimes without really knowing we are doing it.
But its not helping.
Every time it starts to scab up...
something comes along to rip it off
and we are right back to the bloody sore.
But it won't get better if we don't leave it alone.
We need to give it time to heal.
OK... I will admit I'm not over it.
But I'm getting better all the time
(Can't get much worse)
And yes... that is part of a Beatles song.
In the past...
When I have gone through bad times...
I have often turned to the Beatles music to make me feel better.
And they have never let me down.
Now there are a number of love songs (And I Love Her)
hopeful songs (We Can Work It Out)
cheering up songs (Hey Jude)
But one of my favorite songs...
seems to fit this moment.
At least for me.
Who knows how long I've loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime?
If you want me to I will
For if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same
Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart
And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
Oh, you know I will, I will
And just to leave on the same note I came in on.
I adore Shaggy and Scrappy.
They always make me smile.
This post is brought to you by the Letter S.
You know why.
I adore you, Thomas Sturridge.
Until next time.
Bye for now
And the beat goes on...