The post you are about to read is true.
Only the names have been changed to protect the stupid.
If you are pregnant or nursing...
Are prone to heart attacks or leprosy
If there is even a remote chance that
you lack a sense of humor
or cannot comprehend sarcasm.
Read at your own risk.
Possible side effects include:
Crook eye (not to be confused with Stink eye)
If you think you have any of these things.
Go to a fucking doctor.
We are in a major drought.
Kristen hasn't been photographed since July 31st
and Rob since August 9th.
A month with no Kristen?
Is that true??
they have been tweeted all over the place
And as usual...
Idiots keep believing the idiots.
I guess when people are desperate for
anything R/K related
They start fucking hallucinating.
And some people are so thirsty for ANY news
they are willing to believe anything as long as it has
Robert or Kristen's name attached to it.
You can feed these people shit...
and tell them its steak
and they will eat it gladly.
They will chew and swallow
and they will tell you its the best steak they ever had!
I really don't get the anguish.
Maybe because I'm not worried about the state
of Robert and Kristen's relationship.
Why should I be?
They have managed pretty good all by themselves
without my input.
Do you really think they need anyone
(especially people who don't know them)
Telling them how to conduct their very private relationship?
So these fools come out of the woodwork.
On Twitter and Facebook...
Looking for attention.
Looking for excuses.
Looking for a way to find drama where none exists.
"I saw Rob _________"
Well you can fill in the blank.
It really doesn't matter where...
As long as its NOT with Kristen
You are good to go.
And there are always suckers who will eat that shit right up.
OH MY GOD!!!!
I GUESS ROB IS STILL IN L.A.!!
I GUESS ROB IS STILL IN L.A.!!
WHY ROB WHY!!!
Anyone can say anything...
One random asshole
And it goes thru Twitter
like the fucker came down off the mountain
with stone tablets in his hands.
SO LET IT BE WRITTEN
SO LET IT BE DONE!
It must be true!!!
I saw it on Facebook!
But someone saw Rob punching grandmas in Los Angeles!
It has to be!!
The whole twitter/facebook thing amazes me.
Not only because of the gullibility of the masses
Those who are so despondent for any news of Rob/Kristen
But because it's odd how easily some tweets/sightings
Not so much.
One lonely tweet about making an 'ice cream sunday'
For Robert Pattinson...
She admits to not seeing him
But she throws in Soho and a birthday candle...
and all is right with the world.
Etch that on the tablet.
But in the not too distant past...
There were numerous tweets
about Rob and Kristen at an afterparty.
As in more than one.
Where they were seen kissing... and snuggling together.
Being Rob and Kristen
NO NO NO
We cannot believe those!
Even though it was other famous people...
(Famewhores, no doubt)
Even though more than one person saw it
It quickly gets dismissed
and the familiar chant rings out...
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
(but exceptions are apparently made)
I say to you
Where is Robert Pattinson?
We haven't seen a fucking picture of Rob since August 9th.
And I will even give you the tweet from Norman
(Still loving Norman)
And his guitar shop because I think he's a good guy.
(And he waited a day to say anything)
Even given that...
That sighting was last Wednesday.
Almost a week ago.
So let's fucking face it people
All you Rob/Kristen starved people out there.
We don't fucking know where he is.
Not Nana Rose...
And believe you me...
Nana Rose knows just about everything!
And I get it.
I really do.
I love seeing pics of Rob and Kristen
I miss their faces.
I miss THEM.
But all this angst and worry about Rob and Kristen
Please tell me you agree.
It's one thing to miss them...
It's quite another to anguish over perceived locations
To get all worked up over random asshole tweets.
To stress out and start calling Rob names
for not being where you think he should be...
or that he wasn't home for his Mom's birthday.
To fucking stress out over NOTHING.
My personal opinion?
You must want it if you are reading this... Right?
You don't know if Rob missed his Moms birthday.
You don't know where he was that day.
I think he's been to London at least once.
Maybe he's there right now?
(Maybe there will be pictures eventually telling us where he is)
But if you honestly think that a few weeks apart...
means anything in the grand scheme of things?
You need to lighten up.
You don't think Rob and Kristen talk everyday?
And is it really that far fetched to think that Robert
charters a jet and goes to London for a few days?
Don't be utterly foolish.
There have been days and days when
no one knows where Robert is.
Or Kristen for that matter.
Days and days.
Do you think he just ceases to exist
until the next butthead decides to make up
some lame twitter sighting?
I prefer to think of Rob and Kristen
Happy and in love.
Living their lives without intrusion.
(I hear a song...)
Don't see drama where there isn't any.
Don't stress over bullshit.
The truth shall set you free.
|Green Sheep Forever.|
I miss that face.
I really truly do.
Even if it is buried under all that hair.
It's still a wonderful face.
A beautiful face.
This post is brought to you by Roseberry.
Bye for now