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and are in no way meant to cause anyone harm, grief or despair.
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Some places, names, and events are fictional
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Friday, November 4, 2016

Magic 8

It's been 8 years since I started this blog.
This innocent... naive little blog.
I was intoxicated with Robert Pattinson...
and I really wanted to understand why.
But mostly Why.

Have I learned anything in the last 8 years?
I fucking hope so.

The more things change
The more they stay the same.

Remember when there were "Nonstens"
that HATED everything Kristen...
(well, who am I kidding...they still exist)
and they made up endless excuses
for Rob and her being together?
(and this was years before the 'scandal')
They despised Kristen with the heat of a million suns...
And most definitely did NOT want 
Kristen and Rob to be in a relationship.
They attacked her...
Insulted her...
Basically behaving like bitter, petty, jealous bitches.

The names have changed
(or have they?)
But its the Lunatic Baby Cult
who are screaming the same thing.
Every picture that doesn't fit their agenda?
And instead of hating on Kristen...
They hate on Twigs.
They attack her
They insult her
Basically behaving like
Bitter, Petty, Jealous Bitches.

The common denominator?
Robert Pattinson.
It's pretty obvious that no matter who
the guy hangs out with...
becomes engaged to
or marries
This poor woman will be hated...
just because Robert fell in love with them.
I doubt anyone will ever be 'acceptable'
to these people.
I doubt the hatred will ever stop.
They seem to thrive on it.

 I've learned that Kristen is one strong bitch.

She. Is. Stunning.

 "The public kind of burned me at the stake," she says. 
"But that's OK, I can take it. I'm not dead."

"Lately, I've been doing less of the [assumes whiny cry voice]
 'I'm sooooo sorry.' And more of the [drops several octaves]
 'No. Fuck. Jesus.'"

She is severely judged...
Some people like to think they know
the intimate details of Kristen's life.
Details of her personal relationships...
How she lives her life.
I've never seen so many people
so eager to twist and turn
Kristen's words and actions
and make up complete bullshit
and then pretend its the truth...
AND THEN get angry at her
and judge her
for the shit they made up.

Happy Kristen is the BEST Kristen

"My true personal life,
 as much as people think they know about it,
 they don't know dick shit. 
Who could? By the way, nobody knows."

Is Kristen perfect?
Fuck no.
And I don't care.
Perfection is boring.
And Kristen is anything BUT boring.
I like her.
A lot.
I don't always agree with her.
I don't think she is flawless
and can do no wrong.
I like to think I accept her for who she is...
Sometimes she makes me smile
Sometimes she makes me cringe...
But you know what?
After 8 years
I'm still here.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.


 I've learned that although
my 'intoxication' of Robert Pattinson
has calmed down...
I still like the guy.
I still find him attractive...
I still want to watch his movies...
I still care about what's going on in his life.

Is it just me or does he look pretty damn good here?

Is Rob misjudged?
Most definitely.
Some think he is a perfect idol
that can do no wrong.
Some look for any opportunity to criticize him.
He's far from perfect.
And to be honest?
That's always been one of his most endearing qualities.
He's goofy and charming
and sometimes he says the wrong thing
at the wrong time.
So what?
I've also accepted Rob for who he is...
not what I thought he was.

"I like to see if I'm capable of something,
 and I don't really care what people think,
 even though I read all the reviews.
 If it really mattered, 
it would have destroyed me years ago."

"Shit happens, you know?" he laughs. 
"It's just young people… it's normal! 
And honestly, who gives a shit?"

 Never Ship

I'll be honest here.
I never really heard of 'shipping'
before I fell into this fandom.
I remember looking it up...
and it was

To wish a couple that you like to stay together
 cause you like them or cause they are cute. 
Or to wish two people you like and/or want to be together.

I always thought shipping was attached to
fictional characters..
from books
TV shows

I will always love these two crazy kids...

So when I was all about Rob and Kristen
I just was like...
How is that shipping?

I have learned its best not to give a shit
about who someone you like... is with.
Love can be fleeting
People change.
People grow up.
Most significantly
It's not your damn life.

I will always have a huge soft spot
in my heart for Rob and Kristen.
I spent a lot of time watching
and laughing and enjoying their relationship.

Never again.

If there is ONE thing I've learned
in the past 8 years
that I really think is most important...
Is not to get so damn invested
in someone else's lives.
I don't even know how I got there...
It just sorta happened over time
But I'm so glad I woke up.

Oh... I still think some people are cute together
and its nice to see people falling in love.
It's fun to speculate...
enjoy major chemistry...
But watching from a great great distance.
If you are arguing over someone elses relationship
on a daily basis...
trying to intrude in their personal life on social media...
You might want to reevaluate your life.
You know who you are.

As it stands right now
I have zero interest
in who Rob and Kristen are now dating.
And it feels
(Try it. You'll like it.)

 I'm capable of liking
Rob and Kristen
even though they no longer remain together.
Amazing huh?
I also like Nicholas Hoult

This is how he fucking looks walking down the street!

Robert Downey Jr
and an incredible array of people.
Imagine that!
Is your mind boggled yet?

 I've learned that you really
can't take this shit seriously.
Believe me.
I have always found myself
particularly protective of Kristen.
I always felt she was unjustly vilified
and harshly criticized
But at some point...
(and this is to both Rob/Kristen fans)
You really gotta let it go.
Not everyone is going to like Kristen
Not everyone is going to like Rob.
And if some random asshat on twitter or tumblr
is doing some ranting...
who cares?
If they aren't truly hurting anyone
and just have an opinion
is it really worth attacking everyone
you don't agree with?
Who has the time?

But it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
You see, you can't please everyone
So ya got to please yourself

People like "HatersNoNothing"
(seriously... NO nothing? HAHAHA)
and her paranoid pack of pinheads

will never admit they are lying liars that lie.
It doesn't matter how many pictures
prove them wrong...
They will always have some sort of
delusional excuse to explain it.
I don't understand
why they cling so heavily to
Rob and Kristen being together...
Why can't they let them go?
And better yet...
Why would ANYONE believe a word they say?
Not one shred of proof in over 3 years.

There are NO insiders.
Come on, man.
Haven't we all learned that lesson long ago?
Do you really think there is a cousin
who shares super secret info
to some nasty vile person
who then posts it on her gross blog?
Do you really think there is a person
who is related to Kristen who rats out her
most personal details?
Do you honestly think that anyone close
to either Rob and/or Kristen
would hurt them in that way?

And to think that Rob and Kristen
would kiss and snuggle with other people
while being supposedly married with not
not two...

I remember thinking when the LOONS came up
with baby #1
that they had jumped the fucking shark...

It's a damn WHALE.
And even that isn't big enough a jump.


Sweet Jesus
People are just plain stupid.
I hope its painful.

This post is brought to you by the number 8
and the fact that
 I still adore Thomas Sturridge.

He makes me happy.

He's the perfect Green Sheep.

I wonder what the next
8 years will bring?

Until next time.

Bye for now.

love is long

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Dog Days of Summer

The last day of August.
Where the HELL did the summer go
and why am I so happy its over?
I don't like how fast time seems to go by
the older I get
but I must admit I am NOT a fan of summer.
Too hot.
Too many bugs.
Too many people.
Bah Humbug.
Hate it.
Good Riddance.

I wanted to get in my 'monthly' blog 
before the calendar changes over.
So lets discuss recent pictures
shall we?

And here's a shocker...
I'm actually starting with ROB!!!!
I know I know
I ALWAYS talk about Kristen
(How dare me!)
and yeah...
its been easier to do that lately...
She is fucking EVERYWHERE
doing fucking EVERYTHING.

But hey...
Rob wins first picture this post.
A set pic from his movie "Damsel"

I mean...
this picture is ALL KINDS OF GOOD
isn't it?
It's got it all.
Rob looking amazing.
As good as I've seen him look in a while.
He's wearing cowboy type clothes.
He's got a damn guitar across his back.
He's walking.
And even more amazing than that...
He's walking a damn pony.

This was ALL good.
Don't these pictures make you wanna see this movie?
Will he sing?
What's with the pony?
What's it's name?
Isn't that a lot of bullets around his waist?
What kind of hat is that?
All questions I want answered.

Kristen has been working on her own short film...
she's been out and about getting coffee
and doggie toys
and flipping the finger.
You know...
The usual.
(But somehow being all cute when she does it)

And although the Baby Crazies want her
to be around 6 months pregnant right now...
This picture shows that her stomach 
is enviably flat.
It must suck to be a Loony-Tick
(A crazy diseased parasite)
and always be clinging to... nothing.
Holding on to the past...
that gets farther and farther away every day.
Kinda like their break with reality.

Maybe some of you follow Lainey...
Maybe not
I do.
I find her point of view interesting...
even when I don't always agree
especially when it comes to Rob and/or Kristen.
But she is right on the money with this recent post
on her site...

Of course you know that there are some serious TwiHards
 who are very serious about the conspiracy theory that
 Kristen and Robert Pattinson are actually still together,
 married, and raising two secret children
 that she birthed while we were looking but not really seeing.

Now that she’s spoken his name out loud,
 for the first time in a long time, this will give them life.
 It’s her way of sending him an open Valentine,
 never mind that she follows up her comments about “Rob” 
with an unadulterated gush about girlfriend Alicia Cargile:

“Look how cute she is. I love her so much.
 I would never talk about any of my relationships before,
 but once I started dating girls it seemed
 like there was an opportunity to 
represent something really positive. 
I still want to protect my personal life, 
but I don’t want to seem like I’m protecting the idea,
 so that does sort of feel like I owe something to people.”

And this is exactly why those conspiracy theories are so troubling.
 I mean the crazy is entertaining, for sure. 
But to willfully believe that Kristen Stewart is faking it as a lesbian
 in order to hide her true and straight love isn’t just lunacy, 
it’s nefarious, it’s dismissive, and it’s insulting.



Kristen has been on the cover of a bazillion magazines.
Looking stunning and gorgeous and beautiful.

Isn't it wonderful?
How she has been working so hard...
and finally getting where people talk 
more about her work...
than who she's with.
Of course there will always be interest in 
her relationships
(The curse of celebrity)
But isn't it nice when the gossip 
no longer overshadows her movies?

I finally got to see EQUALS.
And it's quiet...
but interesting.
Can I be honest here?
Nic and Kristen have hella chemistry.
On and Off screen.
So it wasn't hard to watch this movie.
Lots of close ups.
And basically...
I can watch anything that Kristen does...
I find her fascinating on the big screen.
She commands your attention
just by stepping in front of the camera.

It was a good movie.
Made all the better by
Nic and Kristen's appeal.


This post is brought to you by 
the letter T

T for

Sweet Thomas.

Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times...

Until next time.

Bye for now

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Couple of Things...

Yeah... I'm still around.
Maybe not as much as I used to be...
life has been exceedingly busy as of late
But still reading.
Still seeing.
Still getting DMs.

The thing is..
This fandom is kinda like a corny soap opera.
You really don't have to check in and watch it every day
to know what's happening.
All you need to do is peek in one or two days a week
and you're all caught up.

Not that there is even that much to catch up on.
Well sure...
Kristen's career is on fucking fire.
(burn baby burn)
So that is always lots of fun to keep up with.
But as far as the fanDUMB is concerned...
It's pretty much 
Same shit
Different day.
It's like some people are on a perpetual 

They just kinda say the same things
day after day...
and they actually think they are getting somewhere
that what they are saying...
means something.
But alas.
Tis not to be.
All they are doing is going around in circles...
arguing the same bullshit
spewing the same lies.
And never fucking going anywhere.
How sad for them.
But they deserve every miserable
moment they get.
And you KNOW they are miserable.

1. Like I said...
Kristen is on fucking fire.
White Hot.
She was all over the place recently...
and as I'm not a 'fan' blog
(never tried to be one)
I will touch on the things I found interesting.

EQUALS L.A. premiere was July 7th

And being next to Nicholas?
Does that look right to you?
How about Loveliest.
That looks good.
So do they.

It's obvious to even a casual observer
that Kristen and Nic are close friends.
The comfort and intimacy they share
is nice to see.
I don't SHIP them.
Good Lord.
But I do love seeing them together
and like seeing how they support each other
and how easily they laugh
and are in sync.
So there.

2. Kristen also had a premiere
for Cafe Society.

Rave reviews for this sweet beautiful girl.

3. Rob turned up in Utah
on a super secret movie.
How the hell did he pull that off?
I kinda like when they can make a movie
without the whole fandom watching
every move they make.
Kinda cool.

He looks pretty OK here.
And it turns out it may be a comedy.
Rob in a comedy?
Bring it to me NOW.

4. That brings me to this next thought...

Why are fans so fucking defensive all the time?
You know...
It's OK to not like what someone is wearing...
or their hair
Or maybe you don't agree with what they said.
It's not the end of the damn world.
In the past...
I've gotten attacked for saying something as simple as
"Rob looks skinny"
That's all I said.
And the locusts descended on me
like I said something horrible.
It's not that serious.

Another example...

This portion of a Twitter conversation
(which I believe was from 2015)
has been thrown in my face twice.
Well... because this is the worst thing they
could find that I've said about Rob.
And believe you me...
You KNOW they fucking went as far back
as possible to try and find something.
Thing is?
All I said was
"Not my style. But it appears to be Robs."

So what?
PDA isn't my style.
Never was.
 I'm talking about ME... personally.
And honestly?
I don't give a fuck if Rob or Kristen
or anyone else wants to kiss or hold hands
or whatever they want to do.
Asshats keep trying to make this tidbit of a
conversation mean something.
Well guess what?
People change.
If you don't think Kristen or Rob
have changed over the last 3 years
you are an idiot.
Of course they have!
Haven't you?
 I mean...
haven't you changed your mind on some things...
perhaps found new people/places/things to enjoy?
Rob and Kristen are human beings.
They grow.
They change.
Just like everyone else.
Who the hell would want to remain stagnant
and unchanging year after year?

5. Stagnant and living in the past
brings me to my next thought...
The resident fandom crazies...
HKN and the Baby Cult.
Still wallowing in 2009.
Every fandom has that scary group that
embarrasses them all over social media
that has wild conspiracy theories
and will never accept reality.
And I know that some people would rather
just ignore them and pretend they didn't exist.
But I can't.

It would be one thing if these silly shrews
just wanted to believe Rob and Kristen were married
because really... who gives a shit if they want to think that?
It would be another if these crazies
wanted to believe that Kristen has somehow become a Duggar
and is working on baby number 3.
(seems to be the standard GO TO when new pics
of Rob/Twigs or Kristen/Alicia come out)
3 babies in 2 1/2 years.

But the thing that needs to stop is
the constant trashing of Twigs and Kristen (and Rob)
That's really all the Cult do.
They trash Twigs.
Rob's fans come back and slam Kristen.
So then Kristen's fans slam Rob.
It's never ending.
How do these people read what the Baby Cult has to say
and be OK with it?
They are lying.
They don't know any truth... or facts... or anything.
And if Twigs was indeed only an 'investment' by Rob and Kristen
why are they constantly trying to bring Twigs down?
It's fucking lame, OK?

It wasn't right when Kristen was attacked
for years (pre 'scandal' by the way)
and its not right attacking Twigs now.
Twigs hasn't done anything to deserve this shit.
And I'm not saying you have to like Kristen or Twigs... or Rob.
I'm saying be a fucking decent human being
and stop trying to prop up your 'fave' by trashing someone else
Or to further your pathetic agenda.
Kristen doesn't need it.
Rob doesn't need it.
And not one of them deserve it.

6. I was watching a Twilight marathon the other night.
So I only started watching Twilight at
"Say it.
Say it OUT-LOUD."

and I did watch all of NEW MOON.

And you know how these movies make me feel?
No fucking regrets.

This is still a GREAT kissing scene.
(and my lord... ain't they pretty?)

And I STILL get choked up when I hear

"Have I found you?
Flightless bird, jealous, weeping
Or lost you?
American mouth
Big pill looming"

Because they fell in love making this movie.
And it was wonderful to watch.

"Jake, I love you. So please, don't make me choose.
 Cause it'll be him. It's always been him."


but now we have:

Cafe Society
Childhood of a Leader
Lost City of Z
Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk
Good Time
Certain Women
Personal Shopper

It might not be the same
but its more than enough...
and maybe even better.

This post is brought to you by

You've heard me say it for years.
"With Acceptance Comes Peace"

And it's true.

Rob is happy with his life.
With Twigs.
Kristen is flourishing in hers.
With Alicia.
Good enough for me.

And of course...
This post is also brought to you by
Thomas Sturridge

You know how hard it is to be his fan
if you don't live in the UK?
He makes these wonderful movies that I never get to see
until they are released on DVD
or maybe on PPV.
He's very private about his life
and is rarely seen in public.
I mean...

I still adore you Thomas Sturridge.
Green Sheep.
Fucking Forever.

Until next time.

Bye for now.

Wednesday, June 1, 2016



I feel it.
So fucking satisfied.

As a fan of Kristen...
How can I be anything... BUT satisfied?

2016 has been a helluva year so far
hasn't it?
The girl never stops.
And you can't stop looking... can you?

She's fucking magnetic.
You HAVE to see what she is doing.
Who she's with.
You can't help it.
Because we are DRAWN to her.
That's part of what makes her a star.
Part of her CHARM.

Certain Women
Cafe Society
Personal Shopper

I want to see them ALL.

Kristen's stunning beauty is satisfying.
That she is the face of Chanel...
That people care about what she wears.
That she is edgy
And cool
and always gorgeous
without even trying.

You know what else is extremely satisfying?

That all the Bitter Bettys were so wrong about her.
The ones who screeched that her career was over
and no one would ever work with her again...
That she was DONE.
I hope they are choking on the bitter.

Oh how satisfying.
All the critics who love her...
All the praise for her performances


Guess what else is gratifying?
Whenever a picture of Rob and Twigs shows up.

Not because I care about their relationship
(sorry... nope)
But for a couple of reasons.
1. Rob seems happy.
That's cool.
but more so for
The Baby Cray who lose their shit
every time a new picture shows up that
proves them to be fucking liars.

I don't know why...
but there is immense satisfaction 
when they make up excuses
and pretend to 'know something you don't know'
again and again
Rob and Twigs are just living their life
(in NY lately)
and again and again
the Cray

It doesn't matter how many times you claim
they are wearing the same clothes...
or jewelry...
or if they see each others friends socially.
They aren't sending you signs.
There are no talkative cousins.
There are NO sources.
Rob and Kristen are NOT together.
They are NOT hiding 2.5 babies.

They could be in the same State.
Standing side by side.
And it wouldn't make any difference.
Because they are not together.
Don't these people get tired of being wrong
ALL the damn time??
EVERY picture of R/T together is a lie?
EVERY person who sees them together is a liar?
Does that seem logical in any sense of the word?
Why do I bother trying to find logic
with the illogical?

No marriage
No children
Do Not Pass GO
Do not collect $200

And you know what else is incredibly satisfying???

Not giving a flying fuck
(is that like... the mile high club?)
About Rob OR Kristen's relationships.
God... how nice it is to be over that bullshit.
To sit back and laugh at the angst and drama...
From a distance.

Sorry Twigs and Alicia.
But I just don't.
It's not personal.
Maybe it's me...
(but I really think it's you.)
Rob looks happy.
Kristen looks gloriously happy.
And that's truly all that matters.

Is Kristen working her ass off
making lots of interesting movies?
Is she doing lots of promo and events?

Does Rob have sex hair reminiscent of 2009?
Is he making movies at his own pace
and doing what he wants to do?


Tom Sturridge.
Those eyes...


Lets not forget about the extremely satisfying
Nicholas Hoult.
Did I say extremely?
Why yes...
Yes I did.

I can't get no satisfaction
I can't get no satisfaction
'Cause I try 
and I try 
and I try
I can't get no, I can't get no


This post is brought to you 
by being happy
and accepting the truth
when it is right in front of your face.

It will be OK.
The world still spins
even though Rob and Kristen
are no longer together.
Come down to earth
and check it out.

Until next time

Bye for now.

Happy Birthday Marilyn

Friday, May 13, 2016

Happy Birthday Robert Pattinson!


This still remains...
to this day
my very favorite Rob 'walking' 
I don't know
It was at the beginning of all the Twilight madness...
He wasn't polished
He wasn't particularly well groomed
his clothes were wrinkled
his hair was kinda a greasy mess
he was shy... and humble
and adorable.
And he was goofy and unpredictable
and silly and a breath of fresh air.

Rob was the first (and last) 'celebrity' that I actually
wrote a fan letter to.
I never did that before...
wasn't even tempted.
But there was something about Rob that
made me want to.
I asked for an autograph.
He sent me back two.
That was in 2009.

And contrary to some fools opinions...
I still like Rob.
Why wouldn't I?
Just because I don't have as much to say
about him as I have in the past...
Doesn't mean I don't like him.
Just because I don't get all worked up
over every negative comment about him
and go looking for fights...
Doesn't mean I don't like him.
Just because my ovaries remain intact
and I keep breathing...
Doesn't mean I don't like him

How can you not like THIS guy?
Doesn't he make you smile?
He does me.

I have zero reason to dislike him.
There isn't anything Rob has done
to make me not be his fan.

Because Kristen and him are no longer together?
I don't blame him.
(And it actually worked out for the best)
People grow up...
People grow apart.
As Rob said...
"Shit happens"

Because he has moved on
and found love with Twigs?
I'm happy he's found love.

It's hard to believe that Rob is 30 years old.
Where did all the years go?

I've been a fan for 7+ years.
I've come down off that cloud.
And maybe my feelings aren't overwhelming anymore.
Maybe I learned my lesson in being overly
invested in an actors life.
I would hope that I can live and learn
and realize that even though 
some feelings change...
Some always remain.

That's where I am with Robert Pattinson.

I can still look at this gif of him walking...
and smile when he smiles.
And appreciate that no man
has even come close to that walk.

I still wanna know about him.
I'm still interested in his career.
I still want to watch his movies.
That will never change.

This post is brought to you by 
the enduring friendship 
of Robert and Thomas.

And because I wanted to get a picture of Tom
in here somewhere.


I wish him love and happiness
on this day...
and every day

(And it looks like he found both)

Until next time.

Bye for now