Happy Birthday Kristen Stewart!

“The public kind of burned me at the stake.

 But that's OK, I can take it.

 I'm not dead.”

I completely adore Kristen Stewart.

I have for a very long time.

I could list a myriad of reasons

But the basic one I always come back to

is there is something about her

that I can relate to...

And in 12 years

That hasn’t changed.

Happy Birthday Kristen!

I hope you have love and laughter

Today

And every day.

Until next time.

Bye for now

🌹

A Couple of Things...

Hello dear reader.

Are you still there?

I am!

I know its been almost a year since the last time

I wrote in here...

but to be fair

We have been going through a global pandemic.

And we did just get rid of the worst president

that this country has ever seen

(yes, my opinion... as always)

So if you are still, indeed, a dear reader...

Thank you.

I'm in a better place now

I hope you are too.

There does seem to be a light

at the end of the tunnel.

Things seem brighter

And getting better all the time...

(couldn't get much worse)

I had a shitty year.

I lost 2 people who were very close to me

within 3 months of each other.

But then again,

compared to other people

I'm doing OK.

I have my health.

I haven't had financial hardships.

My family and friends are doing pretty good.

I'm still here.

I’m still standing.

So that leads me to this blog

and why I decided after a horrible year

and almost a year of absence...

Why I decided to write again.

Couple of things.

1. I love to write.

Even though I do it for a living

Writing this blog

Helps me express my feelings

and opinions

and thoughts...

And sort through how I feel

And why I’m feeling it.

I still enjoy writing about 

Robert Pattinson

and

Kristen Stewart.

So here I am.

2. I was going through old emails and texts

that I found on my old laptop...

and WOW.

I mean.

I found shit from 10 years ago.

Was I really so fucking intense?

I mean

seriously, folks.

I was way

WAY

WAY

FUCKING WAY

too invested in the whole Robsten drama.

I didn't even know what "shipping" meant at first.

Really.

But I guess when you love two people together

and get all verklempt and emotional

over every fucking picture and interview...

Well.

I guess that's shipping.

And I was a phenomenal shipper.

I did an exceptional job.

It was glorious fun and joy

watching two people fall in love

and be in love

and like just love... love.

But fucking A.

When those same two people break up?

APOCALYSPE!

End of the WORLD!

“Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!”

I was overwrought.

I was upset.

I was...

OVER INVESTED.

Jesus.

I look back at that now and go

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?"

Seriously.

You can enjoy people being together.

You can enjoy seeing pictures

You can speculate

and have fun with it

without getting emotional

over two people who truly

don't care what you want or believe.

I can look back now

from the comfort of my 

knowledge and wisdom

(hahahaha)

and see how I got sucked

into the vortex of the fandom.

It was intoxicating

wasn't it?

It was like the giddy fun part 

of being drunk...

Until you wake up the next

morning with a massive headache

and your stomach feeling

like you swallowed dirt.

There comes a time to fucking sober up

you know?

You live

You learn 

If you’re lucky.

3. I still adore Rob and Kristen.

Rob is Batman.

BATfuckingMAN.

I still can’t get over it.

But I love it 

And can’t WAIT to see him all dark and moody

And vengeful...

Kristen is a Princess.

She’s like a chameleon

And she makes every role she plays

fascinating and thought provoking.

“ Someone who just commands the lens 

simply by standing in front of it.”

Way cool.

They still hold s.w.a.y.

over me.

And I'm OK with that

because I still wanna know what is

going on with them.

I’m still following their careers

And I still look forward to every movie they do.

I guess that's what is called...

A FAN

(~ of Both!)

(Couldn’t resist)

Still crazy after all these years.

4. I made a lot of friends here.

Also some enemies along the way.

I don't open myself to people online very often.

I'm cynical.

I'm wary.

And I've been burned.

But...

Reading old emails and texts

made me realize 

how sometimes things got twisted

And I may have gotten carried away

about things that never really mattered

and looking back...

It wasn't worth it.

To whom it may concern

I'm so very sorry.

You know who you are.

OK.

Enough of the weirdly sad nostalgia.

I really am in a good place these days.

I look forward to more Rob and Kristen

in the future.

Let's not forget this guy...

(I haven’t)

Thomas Sturridge

IS DREAM.

You got that right.

Green Sheep.

Forever.

Be Safe.

Be Happy.

Until next time.

🌹

(See ya April 9th!)

I Love Love

Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'

Into the future

Either that or time has just fucking stopped.

You tell me.

I know this isolation/quarantine thingy

is hard for some people.

A lot of people.

So many people have died...

so many are sick

It breaks my heart 

how much pain and suffering 

is going on right now.

And I feel so helpless.

I want to keep thinking that there is a light

at the end of this dark, anxious tunnel.

I want to believe that we will come out

on the other side.

 I do have faith.

I believe that although

there are some people 

who are inherently stupid and selfish...

That the majority are good and kind

and that we will prevail.

OK.

So that brings me to this post.

Yeah.

2 posts in a few days?

I must have time on my hands!

Since I'm feeling particularly nostalgic right now

Since I'm longing for the days

when laughter and light

filled my timeline...

I thought I would bring up 

some of my favorite 

Robert/Kristen pictures.

I mean...

Do you remember how you felt

when you saw these pictures?

And if you were like me

(A very Robstenny Robsten fan)

These pictures brought you

smiles and happiness.

Because yeah...

I love LOVE.

And watching 2 people

fall in love

against all the odds

of being in the eye

of a fucking hurricane...

or tornado.

Or both combined, even.

They still managed to find love.

And that made me happy

and if you're reading this...

It probably made you happy, too.

Ahhhh....

This one kinda started it all.

Damn.

I still remember the furor

surrounding this picture.

Rob and Kristen holding hands.

This really was the first public

acknowledgment 

that Rob and Kristen

were TOGETHER.

It was glorious.

So close.

So very very close

And so happy.

This whole time

was incredible.

 Ok.

This was always one of my very favorites.

Kristen was filming "On The Road"

Rob came to visit her on set...

And I honestly don't know

if I have ever seen Rob so happy

to be in her presence.

Man, I love this picture.

It still makes me smile.

Big time.

The pictures that broke the fandom.

There really was no getting away

from the fact that

Rob and Kristen

were together and in love...

Rob at Cannes.

(Don't ask me for details...

I'm going on memory at this point.)

Kristen was there supporting him

After his movie played for the audience...

Who did he seek out?

Kristen.

Never underestimate

how important they were to each other.

For some reason

when I look at these pictures

2 thoughts come to mind.

1. Kinda cringeworthy

in their invasiveness

2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

They still make me chuckle.

Giggle.

Laugh.

Oh man.

Rob still loved Kristen...

Even after all the drama.

Even after all the bullshit.

He still wanted to be with her.

Still.

Love is fucking long.

Ok.

Enough for now.

And...

For the record

I KNOW

that Rob and Kristen

have both moved on 

to other relationships

and its been years 

since this all happened.

But I don't care!

I can still enjoy what was...

I can still sigh

and smile

at all the good times

this fandom shared.

And they were GOOD TIMES.

I can be nostalgic

and remember the gloriousness of

Rob and Kristen.

And what coulda been...

Maybe.

Who knows.

Different times.

Different circumstances.

Random thoughts...

1. Rob and Kristen had an intense

relationship for years.

Can you imagine?

Burned hot.

Until it burned out.

2. Rob and Kristen

don't hate each other.

They still talk about each other

(to each other?)

with kindness and affection.

And doesn't that tell

you something?

3. I wanted to just say...

I still adore

Tom Sturridge.

That will NEVER change.

Please be safe.

Please be healthy.

Please be happy.

And so it goes

Until next time.

Bye for now

🌹

Happy 30th Birthday Kristen Stewart!

This is a birthday post I wrote for Kristen 3 years ago.

Funny.

Outside of her 'age'... 

Nothing has changed.

I could write the same post today.

And here we are.

There is a quote I remember that someone said about her

That I could never get out of my mind.

It sits there

in the back of my head.

Because it's so fucking true.

" KRISTEN IS SOMEONE WHO COMMANDS THE LENS

BY SIMPLY STANDING IN FRONT OF IT."

Happy 30th, Kristen

It's been a helluva ride.

Thanks for letting me ride along.

And so it goes.

🌹

Sunday, April 9, 2017

27 Years a Kristen.

Happy Birthday

Kristen!

I could easily go on a long winded spiel

about the whys and hows 

of my complete

and utter

adoration

of

Kristen Stewart...

But.

I've decided to just post a few of my 

favorite pictures

and maybe just try to put into words

my thoughts about her.

I'm not sure exactly when

my thoughts about Kristen changed...

Before Twilight I didn't really know much about her.

And I have to admit that I was kinda jealous

when I found out she was BELLA

to Robert's EDWARD.

I guess that's when it began.

When I started watching her and Rob

fall in love.

I became fascinated with her.

She gave these quirky

bouncy

awkward

interviews...

And I found myself wanting to know more.

 

 She made movies that I found fascinating.

And I wanted to see more.

She said things that made me think.

And I wanted to hear more.

She marched to the beat

of her own drum...

And she became polarizing.

The more Rob loved Kristen...

The more some people hated her.

No matter what she did.

She didn't have to do anything.

She was constantly

and brutally attacked

on social media.

I found myself defending her.

Vehemently.

I'm not even sure why I felt the need

to...

protect her.

But I did.

Here was this tiny little girl...

(and keep in mind a lot of the abuse 

she received was when she was a teenager)

Who wasn't hurting anyone...

Just loving her boyfriend

living her life...

I continued to defend her...

Even when she hurt Robert.

Because no matter how you want to look at it...

We don't know what happened between them.

We only know scattered bits and pieces.

Rob took her back.

Rob forgave her.

Rob still loved her.

Even if I was disappointed...

(I hate to see anyone get hurt)

It wasn't my place to judge her.

She didn't do anything to me.

It wasn't my relationship...

But this was the breaking point for many.

They couldn't get past it.

They behaved as the jilted lover...

The attacks were vile and bitter.

And yet...

I saw a girl who was hurting too.

I still wanted to shield her.

Stop the hate from reaching her.

I couldn't help it.

No one who judged her

(and continues to do so to this day)

can sit back and claim to never

have hurt someone...

To be free from sin

To be free from doing something they regret.

I believe Rob and Kristen truly loved each other

But sometimes that's not enough.

Sometimes you grow up...

and relationships... don't.

One of the things I love about her the most...

is her fierce determination

to just live her life on her terms.

She's not worried if you approve.

She's not concerned if you don't agree.

A lot of people judge her life

based on what THEY would do

in her situation.

But it doesn't work that way.

So what if you would have 'time alone'

after a break up...

So what if you wouldn't want your friends

hanging around all the time...

So what if you disagree with the

way she chooses to live her life.

So what.

You live your life your way...

let Kristen live hers the way she wants to.

You have to realize by now

that Kristen will rarely do what you want 

her to do...

If it upsets you so much

that you get angry and frustrated and judgey

maybe you should ask yourself why.

I have had people ask me why I was such a fan

of Kristen's.

I'm not quite sure I can put it into words.

I find her completely captivating on screen.

I can't look away

and want her to be in every frame.

I love most of her movies.

Even the weird strange roles...

It doesn't matter.

If Kristen is in it?

I want to watch it.

Kristen is devastatingly beautiful.

I mean...

 I realize that's not a reason to admire someone...

But I love that she's so damn gorgeous

and it doesn't seem to matter to her at all.

Like its not that important

in the grand scheme of things..

And I guess that's true.

I love that Kristen's career has been 

on fucking fire for the last coupe of years...

and that she is getting some of the best reviews ever.

She keeps getting better

and better.

And I will admit that I love

that her critics have had to swallow

their bitter pills

when they claimed she was "OVER"

and that she would never work again.

I love that she's not afraid to try new things.

Directing.

Starring in a Rolling Stone video.

Shaving off her hair.

Hosting Saturday Night Live.

She's brave.

Even when she knows she might fail...

She still tries.

She's honest.

She says things that she believes...

even when its not always the most popular opinion.

She's flawed.

Like every other human being out there.

But that's part of her incredible charm.

She loves animals.

How can you not love someone

who loves her puppies so damn much?

She's awkward and real

and says how she feels

and sometimes she doesn't express herself

in the best way...

or sometimes she says

or does something I don't agree with.

But I still admire

that she's there

trying to explain what she's thinking.

It's not that easy to do.

I should know.

I just tried to explain how I felt about Kristen

on her 27th birthday...

and I have rambled on and on

trying to make sense of my thoughts.

It's hard to put feelings into words sometimes.

This post is brought to you by 

Kristen Stewart.

Happy 27th Birthday!

I hope you have happiness

and love and peace and joy

this day

and every day.

You deserve all of it.

Until next time

Bye for now.

Bye for now.