I need a break.

Truly, I don't know how much more of this I can take. Yesterday was a HUGE Rob day. Interviews, Radio, Planet Hollywood. It becomes very overwhelming. I don't want to miss a moment...yet, I find myself gasping for air.

Some of these 'fans' scare the living shit out of me. Screeching and screaming at him. WTF? So many of these fanatics seem so rude, like they are ENTITLED to Rob's attention. Give me a break. There was a clip of Rob signing autographs (and you know what? He doesn't have to do that.) and these people were pushing and shoving and screeching at Rob..."I didn't get my autograph!"...and what does Rob do? *He* apologizes to them. It kinda pisses me off. He's too nice for his own good. Not that I expect him to be anything other than a gentleman. You can tell the boy was brought up well. Big hugs to Mom and Dad Pattinson! I'm sure they are proud as hell of their baby boy. I just wish some of these fans would show him a little bit of respect. Treat him like a human being and not a piece of property that they think they have a right to. Rob seems to handle it all with such dignity and with a wonderful sense of humor. I love that about him. I love how important "Twilight" is to him, too. That he is so willing to take on this arduous task of promotion. I don't see any other member of the cast working so damn hard.

Rob? You're a good boy. Handsome, intelligent, witty, warm and compassionate. The total "package". And oh, yeah...I'm totally out of my mind crushing on you. *sigh*

Dreaming...

You know the saying..."Dreaming my life away"...that's what it feels like I am doing lately. I keep wishing for things to come, instead of just living my life one day at a time. It's like I am delusional enough to believe that once "Twilight" is in theaters...life will be perfection. HA! Truly, my life is good. I have a kind and loving husband, who loves me...even given my Robsession. I have 2 beautiful and brilliant sons. Life is good.

Yet, here I am...posting yet again about a man who I know little about. A man who is handsome, talented, and is playing a character in a movie, that I am infatuated with. A man that I just cannot seem to get enough of. How many times am I going to post about this? I see no end in sight. Hell, the reason I do this blog is to get all our my overwhelming feelings for Robert Pattinson OUT IN THE OPEN. I need to do this. I need to understand. It helps that there are so many more like me in this world. So many who love and adore Rob. No, not the scary, creepy kind of love. But the kind of "I wish I could just hug him" love. *sigh*

Paramore's new video "Decode" came out today. It has a lot of scenes from the movie. Scenes I have never seen before. I like the song. I like the video. I love Robert. It just makes my stomach ache all the more. So I close my eyes...and dream.

Let's see...it's all about Rob.

Love this picture. Of course. But I love how Rob so easily turns on his "Edward" in this picture. Look at his face. How can you NOT look at his face?

OK.

I think I decided not to watch the film clip from Rome. You know the one...scenes from the movie...the screams in the audience...it end with Rob playing the piano.

I cry everytime the lullaby starts playing. I mean...it gets so bad that I get a headache from trying NOT to cry.

What's that about? Any idea? WTF?????

Why am I so infatuated with Robert Pattinson? HELP ME, DAMMIT.

He's sweet. He's funny. He's British (and thats a biggie). He's beautiful. He's humble. He has no idea the effect he has on women (well, he probably does now...but I still think he is overwhelmed by it all). He says weird funny things all the time. He's quirky. He's doesn't seem to care if his hair is combed, or clean...or if his clothes look good. He doesn't try to look gorgeous. But he does. And that makes him even more gorgeous. He's tall. He's thin (maybe a bit too thin...but still OK). He's a good actor. His emotions, his acting...he shows you everything on his wonderful face. He's not afraid to take risks in movie roles. He has an incredibly luminous, earth shattering smile. His eyes are truly the window to his soul. He's gorgeous. He's beautiful. He's kind. He's thoughtful. He doesn't take himself too seriously. He looks great with facial hair. He looks great without it. He's BEAUTIFUL.

Got that? Good.

Confusion.

Ok, a couple of things.

1. I'm not sure why my last post turned out like that. It looks like it goes on forever. And I didn't say anything really...that I haven't said before.

Rob is beautiful.

2. Look at this picture. OMFG. Do I ever tire of wanting to just stare at this man? No. Never. I am still trying to come to terms with my Robert Pattinson addiction. I've been thinking a lot about it lately. (Surprise! Surprise! I tend to overthink everything.) Where some people talk about being intimate with Robert...that's not how I really feel. For one thing, he's only 22 years old...for another...I have no delusions about meeting him and having him realize that it is *ME* that is his one and only true love. I'm married. I have kids. That's not how I look at it. I do find myself wanting to know everything about him. Wanting to know what he is saying, what he is doing. I do obsessively look for anything about him online. Watching him in clips of "Twilight" makes my heart ache. I know a lot of my obsession has to do with the character of Edward. Something about Edward has struck a chord with me (and millions of other women), and now I attach that same devotion to Robert. I'm not one of these people who gets all jealous and possessive of who Rob dates and is seen with. I hope he finds love and is happy. I have to clarify that my adoration of Robert Pattinson goes beyond his character in Twilight. I'm now a fan. I want to see other movies he has made (the only one I have seen in full, is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.). I still cannot fathom where this intense passion...yes, it IS passion, for Robert comes from. It is time consuming, emotionally draining, and it makes me anxious. Not necessarily good things.

For now, all I can do is enjoy Roberts time in the spotlight. Watch him be adorable and sweet in interviews. See how even though he tries so hard NOT to be gorgeous, he is. Breathtakingly Beautiful.

I'm not 'in' love with Robert Pattinson. But I do love him.