Living is Easy with Eyes Closed.

I know I'm supposed to be all manic and upset.

(according to the Robsessed Mommies who follow

my every word...hahaha)

I'm not.

I'm supposed to be in some sort of meltdown

and crying and angry.

I'm not.

Not even close.

So Sorry.

My first reaction when I saw this pic?

It was ambivalence.

I think.

I've been talking to friends for months

about wanting Rob and/or Kristen

to make a fucking MOVE.

Anything.

SOMETHING.

Now granted...

This isn't the move I would have wanted

but hey

You don't always get what you want.

(Especially in this fandom)

And it's not about what I want anyway...

Is it?

Living in R/K limbo

isn't a fun place to be... you know?

I'll admit it.

I fucking care about Rob and Kristen.

I do.

I have.

I will.

But after 2012 knocked the air out of me...

there was no way in fucking hell

I was ever going back there again.

NoSirReeBob

I would like to think I learn from my mistakes.

And I have.

At least the mistake of being overly invested

in a relationship of two celebrities

that in all honesty...

doesn't impact my life.

I took a big step back in 2012.

More of a leap back...

I blogged less.

I tweeted less.

I spent less time online.

I made a point of not caring...

as much.

Keeping things at arms length.

Watching from a distance.

And for the most part...

It worked.

That's not to say I wasn't still here

Adoring Rob and Kristen

being interested in their lives

following their careers...

(I am a FAN after all)

Whereas before I got too close to the flame

and got burned...

This time I barely felt the heat.

Now I realize that not everyone is in the same place.

A lot of people are very sad.

Very mad.

Some are very glad.

You are all entitled to whatever it is you feel.

So feel it.

This too shall pass.

Final Thoughts.

1. I think we all realized that things had changed.

We hadn't seen Rob and Kristen

together in quite some time.

So...

Is it THAT much a surprise that they have moved forward?

You can't hate on Rob for living his life.

And you most definitely shouldn't be hating

this Twigs person.

She hasn't done anything wrong.

I mean...

You don't have to like anyone

that's all well and good

But to spew bitter vile hatred

at someone for not behaving the way

you want them to behave?

Shame on you.

2. FKA Twigs

Like I said ...

I never heard of her before.

And truly

I actually find myself physically

shrugging my shoulders

when I read about her.

That's how much I care.

(At least I'm honest about it)

But 

going on Rob's friends Instagrams

and her public accounts

to call her names?

That is beyond disgusting.

And so fucking embarrassing.

And to all you self righteous Robsessed lunatics

pointing fingers about the hate

when YOU have done exactly the same thing

to Kristen for YEARS.

Who do you think you're kidding?

Hate is fucking hate.

Kristen never deserved any of it...

Either does Twigs

or anyone else for that matter.

It's all beyond sane rational behavior.

Here's an idea for everyone...

STAY THE FUCK OFF 

THESE PEOPLE'S SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS!

Stop commenting.

Stop thinking that they care what you have to say.

Stop insulting and harassing

and stalking these people

just because you feel entitled to barge into their lives.

And that goes for the "I'm sorry you have to see this" bullshit.

They aren't your friends... they don't care.

You think you know what they are trying to say.

You don't.

You take simple words

and pictures

you know NOTHING about

and twist it to fit some weird agenda.

"OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE WHAT
--insert Rob/Kristen friend here-- SAID???

 LOOK AT THE PICTURE
OH MY GOD!"

In all reality?

(something I don't think some of these people

are in touch with)

NOT.EVERYTHING.HAS.TO.DO

WITH.ROB.AND.KRISTEN.

Got that?

Get the FUCK off their dicks.

3. Kristen.

I hope you all realize that Kristen

knows what is going on.

She is IN THE LOOP... you know?

And please.

Don't feel sorry for her.

She's not cowering in some corner

rocking back and forth crying.

Come on.

She's been busy working

and looks to be

enjoying her down time doing 

all sorts of fun things.

You have all seen her these past months...

She has looked STUNNING

not sad

or broken.

She's where she wants to be.

Just like Rob is where he wants to be.

And yeah.

I would prefer Rob and Kristen

to remain

Rob and Kristen.

And you know what?

I will always have HOPE

that these 2 people

who have shared so much

who have bonded and 

have such a deep connection

WILL

find their way back 

Together.

And even though they are on different paths

at the moment...

There is nothing to say

that those paths

won't intersect somewhere down the road...

Again.

Yes.

I'm still on this ship.

After all...

Where else am I going to go?

(Thanks Rob.)

4. Have to wonder...

When certain people will finally admit

that they have been lying to this fandom

for well over a year.

Granted... most saw right through the bullshit

(and got hated on for not agreeing with them)

But now you all know...

There is no CUZ

or super secret EXPERTS

or PROOF

that Rob and Kristen are married

with a child.

Rob is very clearly in some sort of relationship with Twigs.

While we don't know how serious it is...

We know Rob is spending time with her.

So.

Give it up.

The pictures are real...

There is no photoshopping of ears or noses...

And seriously

You look at blurry as fuck pics

taken from a football field away

of Kristen's eye

and determine that its her

yet...

You clearly see Rob and Twigs

holding hands and in a car

and you have conspiracy theories?

Good Grief.

It's over.

The fat lady has done sung.

Living is easy with eyes closed

Misunderstanding all you see

It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out

It doesn't matter much to me

Let me take you down, cos I'm going to

 Strawberry Fields

Nothing is real and nothing to get hung about

Strawberry Fields forever

5. Rob and Kristen 

both have a lot of movies coming out...

So we should be getting more promo

more photoshoots

more interviews

All the good stuff.

ROVER is out on DVD today!!

If it hurts too much to look back...

Look forward.

You never know what's around the next corner.

Love is Long.

This post is brought to you by...

Who else?

I adore you Thomas.

Until next time.

Bye for now

Please Read With Proper Sarcasm

A couple of thoughts...

1. I could Write about the

Walking Wolverine.

Which is a very nice thing to Write about.

I enjoy Writing about the

Walking Wolverine.

He had a great time at TIFF.

Maps To The Stars got Wonderful reviews.

The man cleans up... Well.

And come on...

Walking Wolverine 

in a Wonderful blue suit

With Wickedly Wild Wavy hair

is fucking Wow.

2. All the incredible reviews

that STILL ALICE has received at TIFF

Especially Julianne Moore AND Kristen...

Well.

It's real and it's SPECTACULAR!

Gotta admit that I'm loving all the positive feedback
that Kristen is getting
but also the fact that she is SHINING so brightly right now.
Living well... and working well
is the BEST revenge.
(gnaw on that haters)

3. I want to ask if you have noticed

that the Lunatics that screech the loudest -

"Rob and Kristen are married with a baby!"

"Rob and Kristen will NEVER EVER be back together!"

"Rob hates Kristen and has nothing to do with her!"
"Rob's career is OVER!"
"Kristen's career is OVER!"

- Are the ones who are the neediest

and most insecure in what they believe?

Let's take the "Japan Beanie"
as an example.

So there was some video
that showed Rob getting in a car with some friends...
And even though the video was mere seconds
and blurry as shit...

"ROB IS WEARING A JAPAN BEANIE!!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!
KRISTEN WAS IN JAPAN!!!"
(You know... when Rob flew to Japan then flew to LA
then flew back to Japan before flying to NYC and then he
flew back to LA before flying to Toronto before he
flew to Singapore!
All to throw off the paps!!!)
(Editors note: Please read with proper sarcasm)

And then of course you have the other side
of the Fringe...

"YOU PHOTOSHOPPED IT!
IT'S NOT A JAPAN SYMBOL!
NO! NO! A THOUSAND TIMES NO!
IT CAN'T BE!!"
(You know... the people who claim to not 'care'
about Kristen but can't seem to stop obsessing over what she says
and what she does and who she is with...
all the damn time.)

I wish I were making this up.
But alas...
People were freaking out over a beanie.
And why? To what end, exactly?
It's the same people who are SO SURE
they KNOW what is going on with Rob and Kristen
that flip out over the slightest thing.
Like a beanie.

Insecurity thy name is Lunatic Fringe.

Probably the most stunning picture of Kristen... EVER.

Hi there.

4. Google
I didn't know if I should even address this.
This site put Rob and Kristen as 'partners'
Is this the end all... be all?
Really?
That's what you are going hang your beanie on?
This brings me back to the insecure and needy
who cling to any fucking thing.
Beanies.
Tweets from disgruntled Brides
Unfounded self proclaimed experts.
A plethora of relatives who work for Kristen...
(and why is it that they never work for Rob?)
Insiders and sources that seemingly pop up out of nowhere
Endless blurry pictures and videos

Good.
Fucking.
Grief.

Are you really that desperate
that you can't believe in something without this bullshit?
(Editors note: Please read with proper sarcasm)

5. FKA TWIGS
Who?
Well... walk next to Robert Pattinson
and you are guaranteed intense media scrutiny.
Attention.
But.
She doesn't want that.
Right?
Remember Dylan Penn?
Rob was supposedly as 'smitten' with her
as he is with Twigs.
In fact...
You could go back thru the past articles
attaching a female to Rob
posted by People/E!/Other various rags
and just take out whatever name is in there
Be it
Riley Keough
Imogen Kerr
Katy Perry
Dylan Penn
Caitlin Cronenberg
Sia
Sydney Liebes
Sarah Roemer
Emilie de Raven
Mystery Blonde
Mystery Brunette
Mystery Redhead
Etc.
Etc.
And just put in the new "love" of the week.
(and please remember that all of the above
were never dating Rob)

Is Rob dating Twigs?

Are they just friends?

I guess that's for Rob to know...
and for us to over analyze and obsess over
to find out.
(Editors note: Please read with proper sarcasm)

6. Rob and Kristen
 I miss them.

When will I see you again?

And so it goes.

This post is brought to you by
Tom and Sienna

Still going strong after 3.5 years...
and a beautiful baby girl.

And by these incredible pictures...

Why?
Because it STILL chaps their hide.

Until next time.

Bye for now

And remember...
Love is LONG.

#RobAndKristen

Rob and Kristen- Desperation

“That if desperate times call for desperate measures,

 then I'm free to act as desperately as I wish.” 

― Suzanne Collins

This post is about Desperation.

Because this fandom REEKS of it.

Not just one side...

ALL sides.

Did you ever just read stuff and find

yourself making faces and shaking your head?

That's me.

ALL THE TIME.

Whether it be other blogs, tumblr or twitter.

(and man oh man there are some doozies out there) 

(and on another completely different note...

how fucking cool is the word doozie?)

Let's get started, shall we?

1. Bobby Long got married.

I was ambivalent about the whole thing

to be perfectly honest.

Sure.

I've heard all the chatter about his bride.

She hates Kristen.

She wrote obsessive fanfic about Rob.

Yada Yada Yada.

But in all sincerity...

If Rob wasn't there

would anyone really have cared?

Doubt it.

But then...

Bobby's Bride

(the one smiling at Rob in the above picture)

found the need to go on Twitter

and shush out any nay-sayers.

On her honeymoon.

See...

If I just got married to the man of my dreams

and the best man was also the man of my dreams...

(You see what I did there?)

Would Twitter even be on your

to-do list?
Shouldn't you be to-doing something else?

Be that has it may...
(to each their own and all that)

She got a bit upset at some descriptions of herself

so she fired back.

Some troll mentioned that Rob's 'wife' wasn't there

and she said...

"too bad his little wife couldn't make it"

Well.

Bang. Zoom.

To the fucking moon, Alice.

Here's where the desperation comes in...

"She confirmed that Rob is married!!"

"She was obviously being sarcastic!"

What did she mean???
Who knows.
She deleted her account right after.

If I were you...
I would bring in those buckets of salt.
Just a thought.

I truly hope that Bobby
is deliriously happy.
Congrats.

2. We also got plenty of pictures

of Rob and Kristen

out and about with friends.

People looked at Rob and gushed about

how HAPPY he looked and how nice it was that 

he gets to hang out with his friends!!

(quick note: TOM!)

People looked at Kristen and gushed about

what a lesbian she is and why does she have to

hang out with her friends!!

I mean... fucking REALLY?

How does this double standard work exactly?

Why is it that everything from
t-shirts to jewelry is some
EPIC SIGN OF LOVE
when its about Kristen and Alicia
but not when its about Kristen and Rob?
Um. OK.

As for the desperation?

Kristen haters want her so so so(so so so so so)

desperately to be a lesbian.

Because if Kristen is GAY

(not that there's anything wrong with that)

then she never ever ever was intimate with Rob!

It was fake. PR!

But alas...

Kristen hasn't ever done anything remotely 'gay'.
Clothes and haircuts (for work)
and walking with friends of the same sex
does not a lesbian make.
And let's face it...
that's all you got.

3. Rob and Kristen.

Why is the fandom so desperate?

Because right now... everything is kinda in limbo.
Rob and Kristen haven't been seen together.

 Rob or Kristen haven't stepped out with anyone else.
(Not counting all the girls Rob has dated just by walking next to them)

So everything is wide open to interpretation.
Speculation.

When I first came into this fandom way

way way

fucking way back...

I didn't even know what a 'shipper' was.

And when I found out that...

"they believe two characters should or will be together

 (The characters can be from anything: 

Books, Movies, Television, Video Games, and even Actors/Actresses). 

It is not limited to the couple actually happening, 

a person can ship something just because they enjoy the possibility

 of them getting together or even just because 

they think they would look good together."

I was like...

That ain't me.

No way.

No fucking how.

I didn't 'ship' Rob and Kristen

because they were a real couple!

But over the course of time...

and fandom experience

I realize that I am indeed a shipper.

Because I want Rob and Kristen 

TOGETHER.

I do.

Seeing them happy in love made me happy.

I love... Love.

I'm a first class passenger on this ship.

I'm packed and ready for the long haul.

(fuck... it's already been 6 years)

But its a one way ticket.

Do not pass Go.

Do not collect $200.

(what does that even mean??)

That's what the desperation is about.

So many don't want Rob and Kristen to be together

So many do.

I'm a DO.

BIG TIME DO.

FOREVER DO.

And no matter what happens down the road.

Rob and Kristen will always be a DO.

Because love is fucking long.

This post is brought to you by...

Tom Sturridge

I adore him.

Completely.

So please stop using him as some sort of

'example' and comparing his parenting to Rob's.

There is no comparison.

Here's why:

Sienna was in fact... pregnant.

Tom is a real parent.

We've seen them together with their gorgeous daughter.

There are many pictures of Tom and Marlowe.

There are no pictures where Kristen

ever looked pregnant.

Rob isn't a parent.

We have never seen a picture

of any baby... or any baby related anything.

They are 2 of the most Papped people right now

and not one inkling ever of a baby.

Neither Rob or Kristen behave

as if they have a newborn daughter at home.

And remember...
"By the way nobody knows.
NOBODY knows what the fuck is going on"

Kristen said it.
Listen to her...
or listen to your bullshit 'experts'
(who have never produced one shred of proof)

I know where I stand.

Until next time.

Bye for now