Epically Normal

Look at her.

Glowing.

Radiant.

Love does wonderful things... Doesn't it?

Kristen won a couple of awards at the
Nickelodeon's Kid Choice Awards.
No, not a big deal in terms of awards...
But big stars seem to come out for this show.
Maybe they like getting slimed?
Anyway...
Kristen looked GORGEOUS!
The clothes she was wearing were cute and appropriate
Her hair was stunning...
And her makeup?
Flawless.
She hung out with Katy Perry
(whom she is obviously buddies with)
And gave big bear hugs
to both Sandra Bullock and Neil Patrick Harris.
It was nice to see her so happy.

We all know WHY she's so happy...
Now that Rob is back in LA.
Back home.
With her.
Together.

Because that is the way they
ALWAYS end up...
Isn't it?

My super special prediction
has always come true!

I see Rob and Kristen always ending up TOGETHER!

And that brings us to...

Pictures of Rob and Kristen out and about on Friday night.

Obviously...
They are...
(say it with me people!)

STAGED!!!

Of course they are!

Sure.
Ok.

Now there was a lot of chatter about these pictures

Naturally.

"They look miserable! I don't see the EPIC LURVE"

"You know Ruth is around there somewhere"

"Rob didn't even get in the car with her

They just staged it and he went his own way"

"I think they are on a date!"

"Rob got candy maybe they went to the movies!"

Well.

They don't look miserable.

They look like two people walking 

who see some asshats with a camera.

If you look at celebrity couples out and about...

As soon as they see the cameras

They usually separate and put the game face on.

So...

I'm not sure why people keep expecting 

Rob and Kristen 

to be all smiley and hanging on each other.

Do you walk down the street all smiley?

If you saw assholes

(And who knows what they were shouting at them)

pouncing on you as soon as you step out the door

Would you be all lovey dovey?

So give it a rest, already.

That horse is dead.

As for Rob not getting in the same car as Kristen?

Really?

Um...

For one thing...

It's her blue pickup truck he's getting into.

And honestly...

(who throws a shoe)

He is getting in on the PASSENGER side.

Who do you think is driving?

As for the movies or whatever
they may or may not have been doing.
I mean... it's very possible they
went to a movie... or out to eat.
Or just on a candy run...
Nice thoughts.
Does it matter?

Just look at the pictures again...
What do you see?

A normal couple
out enjoying a Friday night
TOGETHER.

So simple.

So true.

That's all it was.
It wasn't EPIC.
It was just a night out.

TOGETHER.

Because let's face it...
That's exactly where
 Rob and Kristen
want to be.

This post is brought to you by the letter F

F for

FANfuckingTASTIC.


And F for

FUCKING ADORABLE.

Until next time

Lunatics.

Bye for now

Get Used To It

Oh

So much anger.
Such hostility.

It's a SHOUTY ALL CAPS kinda day.

And all over a simple picture and brief video

showing Rob and Kristen

ALWAYS

ending up together.
(Get used to it)

Remember the other day

when I said that EVERY time a picture came out that

the Lunatic Fringe just couldn't accept...

It invariably comes back to being STAGED!!!
EVERY DAMN TIME!
It's hilarious!
Think about it...
Rob kissing Kristen at Cannes... PR.
Rob and Kristen kissing at their house... STAGED.
Rob and Kristen at Halloween parties-Kissing at Concerts-Weddings
Birthday Parties-Dinner Dates- Kissing in Montreal-
Kissing in limos-holding hands in Paris/Cannes/LA/Vancouver
Rob going to Paris- Coming back to her flat in London-
Going thru a grocery store!
(I could go on and on and on)
"IT'S NOT REAL! IT'S STAGED! IT'S ALL PR!!"
(Ruth The PR WIZARD is one busy lady!)

They just cannot accept that Rob flew home from OZ

and immediately into Kristen's arms.
That Rob and Kristen spend time together
BECAUSE THEY WANT TO.
(Get used to it)

1. People got SO upset that this wench

(and I honestly like the word wench)

got her 15 minutes of fame.

So what?

The Fringe seem to think that the only reason

these girls were interviewed by E

was because they worked for Ruth?
(RUTH THE ALL POWERFUL!)
Or for E?
Or both?

Yeah. OK. Sure.

This was the first picture of Rob and Kristen
Together (get used to it)
Since he got back from Australia...

Kinda a big deal.

It was all over the place.

Every gossip rag was interested in the story.

And honestly... these girls did everyone a favor

They quickly put an end to the lame 

"Rob is still in Australia"

"Rob is going to London"

bullshit theories.
AND
We got to see Rob and Kristen
Together (get used to it)

2. The whole "Rob was SO happy when 

he posed with fans in Oz! Now he looks

sooo miserable!"

Really?

Sorry... but...

Rob kinda looks the SAME in all these pics.

(including the one with Kristen)
He admits to not liking having his picture taken
So maybe that's why?

This is what SO HAPPY looks like to the Fringe?

Figures.
Sour bitter people obviously have no clue
what happiness looks like...

Here is what happiness looks like:

(Get used to it.)

As for Kristen pretending to be happy

in the picture with Rob

but she NEVER smiles with fans otherwise?

Ooops.

Wrong again.
Look at all those smiles!

4. Ruth The ALL POWERFUL.

Ruth somehow gets credit for manipulating

every moment... every second of Kristen's life.

She is behind every kind word about Kristen...

Every picture taken of Rob and Kristen

She pays off Twitter to trend topics about her

She pays off thousands of people

all over the world...

Photographers, actors, producers, directors

store clerks, waitresses

people from every walk of life

Sometimes WHOLE towns at once!

(Remember the IOW2 Conspiracy theory? hahahaha)

JUST to promote Kristen (and Robsten!)

She forces Rob to participate

in all these horrible things...

And happens to always have fans on speed dial

to take the most random pictures...

and to talk about Rob and Kristen being affectionate!

It's amazing her far reaching connections

She has endless money at her disposal too...

Imagine the cost of paying off hundreds of thousands 

of people for over 4 years??

How does she possibly keep track of all the people

on her enormous payroll?

Did you ever think that maybe Kristen LIKES Ruth?

Why doesn't she RULE the world??

Ruth's power has NO limits!

She controls everything...

Everybody

and is behind every move.

How does she have time for other clients?

Incredible!

5. Do you know what reeks of desperation?
People who turn to Psychics and Blind Gossips for their 'truth'
Scary, huh?

You know what I predicted?
That the Fringe was SO worried about what
would happen when Rob got back to LA...
because they KNEW he would be with Kristen
They had to come up with some excuse
to make all the pain go away...

What better than some psychics
and some blind gossip
who obviously snuggle under the same
delusional blanket as the Fringe?
This way they tell them exactly
what they want to hear!
Anyone can make vague predictions.
"Yes... I see Rob going on another trip soon"
"I see Kristen wearing jeans and a t-shirt."
"The Fringe will keep moving back the
end of their imaginary contract.
Next break up date will be the 'end of the year'"
(By the way? What happened to the END
when the DVD dropped?
Oops!
No problem! Just have some Gossip extend the date!)


As for the BLIND gossip.
Like I said before...
There no doubt who their 'source' is
on Rob and Kristen.
How predictable.

Blind = Can't See
Gossip = Shit.
Can't. See. Shit.
Sounds about right.


And finally...
I wish that people in this fandom
who pretend to be fans of Rob and/or Kristen
would just admit that you're not really anyone's fan.
People who call Rob a pussy
spineless, doormat, pool boy
and make petitions to
"find Rob's balls"
aren't fans of his.

When a day in July is the
'best moment'
of your life...
No matter what it meant to Rob
That pretty much says it all.

You're not a fan.
You're a fucking fanatic.


Rob is going to keep disappointing you.
(Get used to it)
Because he is going to continue to live his life
His way.
And that includes Kristen.
Always Kristen.
So get out while you can.
It's not going to get better for you.


This post is brought to you by Orphans.

It opens March 26th.
I can't wait.

I adore you Thomas  Sturridge.

Until next time

Bye for now

Rob and Kristen ALWAYS end up TOGETHER

Happy Smiley Little Lamb

I'm not sure where to begin...

I'm really not.

How about..

I'm twirling, bitches... get used to it.

Let's start with the small stuff.

This was Rob and Nikki's relationship in a nutshell.

1. Mrs. McDonald.

Yes.

She was at the SXSW thingamajig 

and gave an interview

and of course she was asked about Twilight ending...

(look at indiewire.com for complete interview)

You have the most fascinating journey out of the whole "Twilight" cast, 

given how you got into acting kind of haphazardly

 via "Thirteen" and now you're part of one of 

the biggest film franchises of all time.

"I feel like I'm not as enveloped by that as some of the other people i worked with.

 I don't view myself as what other people in those films view themselves as.

 I don't think I'm a superstar.

 I don't feel it's made me or it's guaranteed anything for me. 

I just feel like I was a part of those things.

 I can disconnect from that. All of those things -- fame,

 feeling loved by people that don't know you -- I don't get excited by that. 

If anything, it makes me nervous and it gives me anxiety.

 I feel like I'm a part of something that isn't real."

Couple of thoughts.

1. Nikki has the most fascinating journey out of the whole

Twilight cast? REALLY???

What's so fascinating about it?

2. Yes. I don't care for Nikki Reed.

And because of that very reason

 she's usually way way way off my radar.

But when she makes bitter statements directed

at BOTH Rob and Kristen...

I will comment.

Although... take note

I don't have a hater blog just to shred her apart

nor do I talk about her obsessively 24/7 on Twitter/Tumblr accts.

Just a frame of reference.

3. She is trashing Rob and Kristen...

'Other People'

(contrary to loony belief it was just directed at Kristen--

She does speak in plurals after all)

"I don't think I'm a superstar"

Well... thank fuck for that.

Because you're NOT.

But you tried Nikki girl... Oh you tried.

You gave Rob your best shot... you really did.

But he was never really interested in you.

You were... there. 

Convenient.

But his heart was with another.

And you always knew it.

Is that why you remain so bitter?

You are supposedly happily married now...

(Remember? You tweeted on your honeymoon!)

Why keep throwing shade?

Mrs. McDonald?

LET IT GO

E

I

E

I

O

2. Rob's Dior Ad.

Well...

Get your salt shakers buckets dump trucks at the ready

The "SUN"  wrote:

The screen star has acted out a FOURSOME with stunning models

 in a new advertising campaign — picking up £8million for his trouble. 

R-Patz indulges in some “arty” bed-hopping for a new Dior men’s clothing

 campaign which will be appearing everywhere from May. 

A Dior source revealed: “The advert is sexually explicit. 

It is pushing the boundaries of what you can get away with in advertising. 

“Robert is topless for part of it and kissing one of the models with tongues.

 He really gets stuck in. 

“There’s another scene where he takes part in a foursome

 in various states of undress, although it’s not clear

 whether those scenes will make the final cut."

First.

If Rob makes some sort of sexy ad for Dior

It doesn't bother me.

Should it?

It's just another role he is playing.

Why the uproar?

Second.

Rob kissing a model with tongue?

Doesn't sound like something I have EVER seen him do.

Ever.

Except with Kristen.

Really not his style...

But never say never... who knows?

I mean.. he did do the above photo shoot...

With the spikes and the big ol' safety pin

and the weird cheesy material...

So again... he might surprise us?

But unfortunately...

It's the SUN.

Strike one.

Wasn't it suppose to be a fragrance?

1/2 a strike.

What does "He really gets stuck in" mean anyway?

1 1/2 strikes.

I guess that's 3.

But no use getting your panties in a bunch over

a supposed ad. 

Time will tell.

And Finally...

As soon as Rob gets to LA... who does he run to?

3. Ah yes.

Rob. Kristen.

Together in LA.

Yes.

I'm motherbitching big time TWIRLING.

There is a certain satisfaction in seeing 

the hater lunatic fringe

scramble for excuses to explain it away.

Yet again.

Let's see.

Well... we all know that the legendary PR contract

that seems to have been signed for their lifetime

has been extended at least thru August!

Yes... very convenient.

How nice of that 'Blind Ninnie'

to help out the Fringe!

CRINGE WITH THE FRINGE!!

Remember now...

The Lunatics with the loudest screeches

were claiming just this morning...

THIS MORNING mind you

That Rob was STILL in Australia!!

They ignored the sightings of Rob on flights to LA

and clung like fleas to a hyena

that Rob was indeed staying in Australia a while longer!

(and away from Kristen!!)

But now...

And yes, I'm laughing out loud as I type this

This picture comes out

and they scream that it's 'all kinds of shady'

and I heard a whinny about it being fake

(Of course, ALL pics of Rob and Kristen together

are either fake or staged!! Didn't you KNOW that??)

It was a SET UP!

They need to sell MORE DVDS!!!

Nothing sells a DVD like a random fan pic!

I already have my copy of BD2...

but just seeing that picture makes me want to go

out and buy another copy!

Who cares if it already sold zillions of copies!

CONTRACTUAL OBLIGATION!!!

No mind that it's ILLEGAL and IMMORAL

No worries that there is NOTHING LEFT TO PROMOTE.

You hold on tight to that PR theory!

The only thing Rob and Kristen are promoting

is that they are in fact...

and still remain

TOGETHER.

It must really REALLY suck to be continuously

butt-fucked time after time...

John McClane: Oh, you're in charge. Well, I got news for you, Dwayne.

 From up here, it doesn't look like you're in charge of jack shit.

Dwayne Robinson: You listen to me, you little asshole.

John McClane: Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt-fucked on national TV, *Dwayne*.

Over and over again...

Ouch.

But you must enjoy it on some level...

You know?

Rob and Kristen will continue to live their lives

the way they want to...

You can call them all the bitter vile names in the book

But it doesn't 

Change

A

Thing.

You know how it goes by now.

Why?

Because truth is fucking truth.

ROB AND KRISTEN

ALWAYS

END UP

TOGETHER.

Bwahahahahaha!

The beginning... and they remember every detail.

"He does this cool little move and we are

dancing around each other. 

We still talk about this scene and how fun it was.

He remembers what I was wearing.

I remember everything about that day."

This post is brought to you by LOVE

RobLovesKristenLovesRob

And by...

My complete adoration of

Thomas Sturridge.

And as much as I love seeing pics of him

and his adorable baby girl...

How many pics do you need to take of the same thing

day after day?

Sienna carrying Marlowe.

Sienna carrying Marlowe.

Tom carrying Marlowe.

Sienna carrying Marlowe.

Yes.

She's all kinds of gorgeous..

But come on.

Tom doesn't look happy.

I like happy Tom.

Final thought?

Until next time.

Bye for now