Instant Karma's Gonna Get You

Rob really seems to be enjoying himself here...

This has been kinda a shitty week... hasn't it?

There are people that I love...who are sick.

No justice for Trayvon.

(and I'm not going to say any more on that topic)

And Corey Monteith died.

I really liked him.

He was talented... and seemed so sweet.

And now he's gone so young.

Tragic.

Sometimes you just want to get away from sad stuff...

Sometimes you just want to have a laugh.

A giggle.

A guffaw.

Well.

You came to the right place, Folks.

For today is email day.

I pulled out some of the more amusing

and confusing

questions/statements from recent emails.

Ready?

Oh and

The bits and pieces of emails

you are about to read are true.

The spelling might be changed so you can understand them.

Because let's face it...

These be some stupids peoples.

They so dumbs.

Ha.

Why do you even pretend to like Rob? 

All you care about is Rob with Kristen. 

You should change the name of this blog to Robsten Intoxciation.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ. If you tell me what intoxciation is... 

Why do you have to be such a nasty bitch about fans being proud of Rob?

 What's wrong with that?

 He's finally free of that home-wrecker and we can properly idolize him now.

STFU

I gave MY opinion. You come to MY blog to read MY opinion.

 Don't complain when you don't like what I have to say.

I think certain people in this fandom get carried away 

with the fangirling over Robert.

 It's crossed the line to C.R.E.E.P.Y.

(and yeah... if you think I'm talking about you... I probably am.)

Shoe. Fits. Slide. It. On.

What do you think about Kristen's new ring? 

Engagement ring?

 Do you think its from Rob?

Yes. No. To get to the other side.

Do you think Rob and Kristen are together right now?

I don't think they have ever been far apart.

Stupid sheeps. Your so delusional. Robsten is over. Deal with it.

If you really believed that you wouldn't be bothered by what 'sheeps' say.

You wouldn't work so hard pushing your agenda

 on Kristen's friends twitter/insta accts.

The "sheeps" are just calmly grazing in the field... 

eating clover and being all soft and warm and fuzzy and cute.

Meanwhile the hyenas are frantic and desperate... 

scared of what is about to happen.

And you have EVERY reason to be scared... 

*cue evil laugh*

Hey bitch! What are your plans to celebrate the Rupsten anniversary?

 I bet you can't wait! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

 I plan to have a party!

 Get ready for some FUN sheep!

Yes. I'm so SURE this 'anniversary' means so much to you! But truly...

what are you going to do any differently than you have the last 365 days?

Be vile and disgusting about Kristen?

Post those same tired 50 pictures?

Make up lies and innuendo to try and hurt someone you don't know?

You do that EVERYDAY... 

You cling to to that day like it's your reason for living...

Wait.

Not like its your reason for living... It IS your reason for living.

Only the Hags and the Rags haven't moved on from a year ago.

Think about how you supposedly have gotten what you wanted...

and you still are living in the past.

A fucking YEAR.

Kristen owns you.

Remember that.

Lock. Stock. And bottom of the barrel.

Who do you think is in the truck with Rob?

Money. Sex. Money. Sex. Cat.

What happened with Bear and Bernie?

 Did Rob really take both the dogs away from Kristen?

No. Rob wouldn't ever take the dogs away from Kristen.

Idiots want to believe that Rob and Kristen never talk or see each other

 and that is pure fiction.

You'd be surprised at just how much...

Kristen loves those dogs just as much as Rob does.

I find it amusing that when Bernie came into the picture

 Haters screamed it was only Kristen's dog! 

Rob has Bear... Kristen has Bernie!

 They even called Bernie a FAMEWHORE!

But now... they both belong to Rob?

How convenient.

Bear and Bernie belong to both Rob and Kristen...

Together.

Still.

walk this way.

Why do you seem so down on Dior Rob?

Have I said anything remotely negative about Rob at all?

Or are you confusing the fact that I find people gushing over the most

ridiculous detail hilarious and open to sarcasm?

"ROB IS WEARING A WHITE SHIRT! MY OVARIES ARE EXPLODING!"

(and these women have LOTS of ovaries cuz those bitches are exploding

all the damn time)

"ROB IS SITTING IN A BATHTUB! WET ROB! (except he's not)

"LOOK AT THE WAY HE IS LOOKING AT THE MODEL OFF CAMERA!

"GAWD I CAN'T TAKE IT! HE'S KILLING ME!"

People seem to forget... these ads were shot over 6 months ago.

They act like it happened yesterday and now Rob is all hot with this model.

Anyone but Kristen... right?

And for the record.

I'm excited to see this ad campaign and I'm thrilled for Rob

I follow both Rob and Kristen's careers very closely.

I'm so happy they are both back to work...

because I think that is when they are happiest.

I buy tickets to see their movies.

I buy all the movies when they come out on DVD.

No, I don't always post my thoughts about it here

Mostly because this isn't a 'news' blog...

And mostly cuz you can go to RobertPattinsonLife and KristenStewartNews

to get all the info you may crave and desire...

I fucking ADORE Tom Sturridge.

They both look incredible in this picture...

But Tom.

Always Tom.

Green Sheep.

Forever.

This post is brought to you by what you know.

You know even less now.

Bye for now

Rob and Kristen- It's That Simple

Sorry Kristen.

Kristen gushed about Bear, saying, “He’s my child, I love him.” 

She talked about introducing Bear to Bernie, 

and said that “I raised Bear, WE got her when she was like… 

She (Bernie) was emotionally manipulative and really milked it,

 and I got her home and she was like ‘I am fine’. 

She was taking Bear’s stuff, 

I was like ‘you need to slow your roll.’”

WHO LOVES YOU MORE, BEAR OR MAX?

 "Oh…hahahah that's so weird. 

They both like me…love me haha…I think in very different ways.

 I think…Bear is literally a child,

 he is like my…he is still a baby.

 And Max is like I mean we live together,

 he's like my roommate. 

And uh, yeah so there is a difference there."

 I thought I would get a dog. 

Then wherever the dog was would kind of be my home."

He adopted Bear, a German shepherd-pitbull crossbreed ("100 pet cent mutt"),

 from a dog shelter in Louisiana: a canine death row.

 "Bear was two days away from euthanasia. 

WE thought he was traumatised by his near-death experience." 

"Thank God that Kristen was with me. 

So WE just adopted one dog. A mutt.

WE called him Bear." 

WE.

We adopted.

We called him Bear.

Wherever the dog was... 

would kind of be my home.

Done and fucking done.

Couple of thoughts.

Here are some pics of Rob and Kristen

leaving together on a jet plane to NYC.

It's that simple really...

While the lunatics were busy scoping out how many cars

were in the pictures...

and trying to decipher who came in what car...

Once again they missed the obvious.

Rob and Kristen leaving

TOGETHER.

It's kinda like when Kristen went with Rob 

while he was taping Kimmel.

Rob wanted her there.

Kristen wanted to be with him.

It's that simple really...

And once more all the lunatics could focus on

was how many cars...

Sure... they tried to gloss over Kristen hanging out with Rob

at Kimmel by saying she was there taping Conan.

But they aren't taped in the same place.

So. They had to refocus on the cars.

** Head-pat**

Kristen did the NYC interviews today...

The Today show.

Live with Kelly and Michael.

The Today show asked Kristen if her and Rob were back together.

Now for the past 3 years personal questions like that are always dismissed...

What did Kristen say?

"Funny you should mention...that...Umm...

I'm just gonna let people watch whatever little movie

 they would like to think our lives are and go for...

you know...

Keep 'em guessing I always say."

I thought that was appropriate.

Rob and Kristen will decide if/when they want 

to discuss something personal in their lives.

They aren't about to get sideswiped on National TV

by three wannabe journalists.

The part that really gets the lunatics is

Rob and Kristen DO talk about their beloved dogs.

They can't comprehend that talking about pets

isn't the same thing as talking about a personal relationship

that already is obsessively scrutinized and picked apart.

Both Rob and Kristen talk about their dogs...

because it is safe. They love their dogs.

And it still gets the point across that they are indeed

TOGETHER

without having to discuss it with idiots on couches.

Final thought...

Rob taped Ellen on Monday.

So did Nikki Reed.

Rob's parents were in the audience.

BIG TO DO

that Rob's parents were throwing 'shade'

at Kristen for being there in the audience for Nikki.

Oh yes...

Because Rob's parents are the type of people 

to 'throw shade'. Right.

Let's not remember that Rob was taping that day...

Let's just throw his parents into the mud

to further serve your sad agenda.

How about you leave Rob's family out of your lunacy?

Or how about when Rob is standing next to his parents...

in their home during Christmas

With his arm around someone other than Kristen?

Then we can talk.

Here's the thing...

The lunatics NEVER liked Kristen.

They spent all day everyday obsessing over her 

every move...her every word.

But now?

Well... now they don't like Rob either.

They aren't even "Nonsten" anymore.

They aren't... anything.

Maybe NONsense?

So I ask you...

WHY ARE THEY STILL HERE?

Before it was 'We are just here for Rob'

Which we all knew was a blatant lie.

But now they call him almost as many names as Kristen.

Although if anything... their obsession with Kristen

has just blossomed into full blown neurosis.

So why are they here?

Oh right.

To hate.

The only reason they were ever here.

That's all they do... all day. Everyday.

Imagine living your life that way...

This post is brought to you by the nose on your face.

So many people refuse to see what is right in front of them.

I guess Bear and Bernie can lead the way.

Where Bear and Bernie go...

So do Rob and Kristen.

TOGETHER.

Get used to it.

And of course...

No post would be complete without

Thomas Sturridge.

What do you get when you mix blue and yellow?

Now add a woolly animal.

Yeah.

That.

Until next time.

Bye for now