Rob and Kristen-- What a Fool Believes...

I started this blog to figure out my feelings

about Robert Pattinson.

Writing has always been a form of therapy for me...

Cathartic.

Soothing.

I've needed it this past week.

There is a lot of speculation right now.

There are a lot of 'insiders' giving tabloids the scoop.

There are a lot of lies and whispers.

There is a lot of bullshit.

99% of it is what you think you know.

Because everything else is shit.

If Rob and/or Kristen

(and that includes Nick, Steph, Ruth or their immediate family)

haven't said it...

Then its all theories and guessing.

and what have we heard from any of them?

What We Actually Know.

1. Creepy pics of gross director with his arms around Kristen

and kissing her in her car.

2. Kristen's apology to everyone she hurt...

and her desperate love for Rob.

That's it.

What We Think We Know.

1. Pics of U-Haul truck seen at Los Feliz home.

Logically we can assume someone moved out.

No one is seen.

No statement is made.

Logically...

Who would want to stay in a home with

a zillion paparazzi camped outside your door?

That's about it.

What A Fool Believes.

1. Everything else.

That goes for any 'source' who claims to be close

to either Rob or Kristen but is yet spilling to Gossip Cop

or some other media outlet.

No one who loves and cares about Rob and Kristen

are sharing their pain with gossip rags.

Everything else is assumption and speculation.

And please stop fucking trying to blame Rob for this.

People are out of fucking control.

What I Believe.

1. People on twitter continue to mourn this situation.

I know everyone grieves differently.

And hey... to each their own.

I'm not telling anyone how to feel.

I'm just telling you how I feel.

I don't wallow in grief.

I'm tired of being sad.

I'm broken heart/sad faced out.

I prefer hope.

I have faith in forgiveness.

That's not me saying I think

Rob and Kristen getting back together is a done deal.

I don't.

I don't offer false hope.

But this is me accepting the possibility that 

they can find their way back to each other.

2. Rob and Kristen love each other.

My Opinion.

That kind of love doesn't go away overnight.

And they will figure this out...

What's best for them.

Whether it's together or apart.

I just want them to be happy.

What I Know.

1. I know that a lot of people I thought I knew

really disappointed me.

So quick to throw Kristen away.

So many who only pretended to be her fan...

have now come out full force in hating her.

I hope you feel better bashing her now...

You feel justified somehow... right?

Like you KNEW all along she was bad for Rob?

You still don't matter.

And guess what?

Kristen STILL owns you.

You can't stop talking about her.

Obsessing over her.

Enjoy your foaming...

because it's still bitter 

and no matter what happens to Rob and Kristen

It won't change your sad life.

2. People have asked me if I will continue to write my blog.

I'm still intoxicated with Robert Pattinson...

So yes.

As long as he gives me this...

And this...

Oh... and this...

I'm in for the long haul.

I'm not going anywhere.

(Sorry if that disappoints you)

I just want Robert to be OK.

I just want to see him laugh again.

I just want him to be happy.

And I want the same for Kristen.

And that is where I will leave this topic.

I'm done with it for now.

So many people have said so many things...

(Have you ever seen SO many Twitlongers?)

And I don't need to add to the dark cloud

hanging over this fandom.

Sometimes you just have to know when to let it go.

It's like a bloody sore.

We keep picking at it...

Scratching it.

Sometimes without really knowing we are doing it.

But its not helping.

Every time it starts to scab up...

something comes along to rip it off

and we are right back to the bloody sore.

It hurts.

I know.

But it won't get better if we don't leave it alone.

We need to give it time to heal.

Final Thought.

OK...  I will admit I'm not over it.

But I'm getting better all the time

(Can't get much worse)

And yes... that is part of a Beatles song.

In the past...

When I have gone through bad times...

I have often turned to the Beatles music to make me feel better.

And they have never let me down.

Now there are a number of love songs (And I Love Her)

hopeful songs (We Can Work It Out)

cheering up songs (Hey Jude)

But one of my favorite songs...

seems to fit this moment.

At least for me.

I Will.

Who knows how long I've loved you

You know I love you still

Will I wait a lonely lifetime?

If you want me to I will

For if I ever saw you

I didn't catch your name

But it never really mattered

I will always feel the same

Love you forever and forever

Love you with all my heart

Love you whenever we're together

Love you when we're apart

And when at last I find you

Your song will fill the air

Sing it loud so I can hear you

Make it easy to be near you

For the things you do endear you to me

Oh, you know I will, I will

And just to leave on the same note I came in on.

I adore Shaggy and Scrappy.

They always make me smile.

This post is brought to you by the Letter S.

You know why.

I adore you, Thomas Sturridge.

Until next time.

Bye for now

And the beat goes on...

Love Hurts.

What am I supposed to say?

There is so much anger out there right now.

So much hatred.

Yes.

I'm disappointed too.

Obviously I care about Rob and Kristen.

I would never in a million years imagine something like this 

happening between two people that were so in love.

And whether you believe it or not...

They still love each other.

Whether they go forward together or not

isn't up to you... or me.

Rob and Kristen need to figure this out.

I only wish they could do so with some measure of privacy.

All the conspiracy theories and rationalizations

aren't going to change what happened.

All the continuous hatred and bitterness

doesn't serve any purpose other than to 

prolong the unhappiness and sadness.

We all are hurting in some way...

And I understand the feeling of protection over Rob.

The thought of him in so much pain... kills me.

But the truth of the matter is

What Kristen did has nothing to do with us.

Yes.

We can question why

We can be sad

We can be disappointed and angry.

But where do you stop and let it go?

When do you realize that hating her isn't going to change anything?

Because in truth...

All this turbulent emotion is more about us

intruding on their relationship.

Pushing ourselves in... where we never belonged in the first place.

This isn't ours to deal with.

This isn't really even our pain to feel.

I know we all do... I do, too...

But we need to back off now...

We need to let them heal and figure this out

We finally need to leave them alone...

and quit asking for things we have no right to ask for.

We don't have a right to know the intimate details.

We never did.

Final thought.

My father... who is one of the most intelligent and witty men I know...

but completely clueless when it come to 

'entertainment' news...

Actually said to me yesterday

"So I was reading the paper and saw that there

is big trouble in vampire land"

Yes.

He said VAMPIRE LAND.

I just looked at him... shocked.

I finally replied...

"Yeah, Dad... Vampire land is kinda sad right now"

He looked at me and said

"I feel sorry for those 2 kids. I can't imagine having to 

deal with that heartbreak in the public eye."

Compassion.

My father has it.

And he knows nothing about Rob and Kristen

beyond what he has read in the paper.

I know some of you are so angry at Kristen

and want to call her names and hate on her.

But try to look at her...

as she is.

Strip away the fame and fortune...

Take away who her boyfriend is.

Look at her.

She is just a girl.

Who made a terrible mistake.

A horrible choice.

Yes... she hurt some people

And she has to live with that.

She has to make amends.

But she is hurting too.

If you saw her on the street...

Desperate and crying... hurt

Wouldn't you stop and try to help her?

Wouldn't you be scared and worried for her?

Or would you just scoff and say she deserves her pain?

Would you spit on her as you walked away?

Personally?

I would help her.
I want her to be OK.

I couldn't just turn my back and walk away.

And that's where I am right now.

This post is brought to you by compassion.

I hope some of you find some.

If you are without sin... cast that stone.

.........

(waiting)

..........

Thought so.

Until next time

(and there will be a next time.)

Bye for now

P.S.

I still adore Tom Sturridge.

A bright shiny star 

in this dark dark night...

Shattered Opinion

 I don't hate Kristen Stewart.
Yes.
I'm disappointed.
I'm confused.
I'm trying to wrap my head around all of it.
It's not working.
I feel sorrow.
Sorry for the innocent people this has hurt.
Sorry for the hatred that this fandom is seething with.
Sorry that sometimes sorry
isn't enough.

Kristen didn't betray me.
Everything I did for and about her...
I did for me.
No one forced me to go to her movies
or buy her magazine covers...
Or rush to her defense.
And contrary to popular opinion
No one made me love her.
And him.
Together.
I did that on my own.
And I have no regrets over the last 4 years.
I would do it all again.

And guess what?
I still feel protective over her.
Can't help it.
I get if you feel betrayed.
I get that you are mad.
I even get if you don't like her anymore.
But the violent hatred I have seen online
makes me nauseous.

I don't condone having affairs with married men.
It's wrong.
It's destructive.
It's completely selfish.
And it makes no fucking sense.

I admit that I'm overly invested in this.
I loved both Rob and Kristen.
But my biggest clue was that I was physically ill this morning.
As in throwing up.
Sick.
Over this.
Over two people's relationship.
And I'm not one of the people.
It shouldn't affect me this strongly.
But it does.

Look...
I will always be a fan of Robert Pattinson.
I fucking adore him.
Forever.
As for Kristen...
I can't turn my back on her.
Even now.
I need to see how this all plays out.
I need to know ...
That they are BOTH OK.
I will still care about Robert and Kristen
Together. Or apart.

Kristen released a statement today regarding this whole thing...

I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment 

I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected.

 This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life,

 the person I love and respect the most, Rob.

 I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry.

I love him.
I love him.
I'm so sorry.

What was left of my heart... shattered.

What remains to be seen...
Is how Robert handles all this.

I wish that they could just figure it out on their own.
Without the whole fucking world watching them.
Judging them.

I feel protective over Rob... too.
He loved her so.
She made him so happy.
And that made me happy.
I can't imagine anyone doing this to him.
Especially Kristen.

Kristen is flawed.
So is Robert.
Human. Imperfect.
We have no idea what is happening with them...
or why.
We see tiny glimpses into their lives
Glimpses that we probably don't deserve.
Are you without flaws?
Have you never hurt someone you love?
Whether Kristen is forgiven or not
isn't up to you.
Or me.
Just Rob.
This is their relationship.
It's between them.
Only them.
We are outside... looking in.
We don't belong inside.


This post is brought to you by my heart.
It aches for Robert.
It's sad for Kristen.
It's hurting for this fandom...
who have loved Rob and Kristen
so well for so long.

Where do we go from here?

Will they find happy again?
Will we?



One last thing.

Don't make me choose.
It will be him.
It's always been him.

Bye for now

Rob and Kristen-- In the Circle

I've decided to write BEFORE the Teen Choice Awards tonight.

Why?

Do I expect epic PDA from Rob and Kristen?

Not really.

Besides the fact that the word "epic" has lost all meaning.

There is Rob and Kristen.

That is enough.

I do expect Robert to look handsome and sexy as usual.

The guy can't really help it...

He was born that way.

I do expect Kristen to be wearing the hell outta some

hot edgy clothes...

Looking young and gorgeous.

I'm hoping for a few surprises...

But that's just me.

And I always look forward to seeing the

Mrs McDonald/Robert/Kristen dynamic.

But again...

That's just me.

So yeah.

I will brave the screaming loud screeching teens

just to get a peek of Rob and Kristen.

I enjoy seeing them together.

They make me smile.

What is this picture from?

I'm guessing you already know.
Don't we kinda assume they will hold hands now?

Rob and Kristen went out to see Bobby Long

the other night.

Surprised?

No.

But why shouldn't they go see a friend perform?

There were a lot of tweets from inside the venue...

Most were just the usual PDA we've come to expect

from Rob and Kristen lately.

Hugging... Holding hands...

A kiss here and there...

Nothing any other young couple in love 

wouldn't do.

Of course...

We did get the occasional tweeter

embellishing on what they saw.

Or heard.

"I was really close to Rob and Kristen and

I heard him say 'I love you baby'... I really did!"

While I'm sure Rob says that to Kristen ALL the time

I'm kinda doubting he was overheard in a loud bar

surrounded by a ring of friends.

But that doesn't really matter... does it?

How many times have we heard the same tale?

"Rob and Kristen were so cute with each other"

"Rob had his arm around Kristen and kissed her"

"Rob and Kristen were holding hands"

And seriously...

After this

After seeing it with our OWN eyes in Cannes....

Is there any doubt that his type of behavior 

between Rob and Kristen is just how they ARE?

How many more times do you have to hear about

how sweet and adorable and cute they are together

before you finally BELIEVE??

There is NO denial.

There are no excuses.

This is what Rob and Kristen DO.

Like...

ALL the time.

So it shouldn't be a surprise anymore

when we see them doing it...

Again.

This is a pic from the latest Rob interview in "Blackbook" magazine.

I have a thing for black and white Rob.

I just do.

But anyway...

There was an interview in the magazine...

But I'm not sure what to exactly make of it.

The interviewer took the part of Rob's beating heart.

Yeah.

So.

It was strange.

There were a few quotes from Robert...

But they were put in the article

and then the 'heart' gave its impressions.

Did I say strange?

The pictures were good though...

Tattoos on Rob are interesting.
The "bad boy" look is good on him.
But I'm not sure it suits him.
Who knows.
But as random and odd as this 'interview' was...
and I do use the term loosely
I did have a favorite quote.

“My circle of friends narrowed pretty quickly.” Says Rob, 

“I like to be the parasite, not the other way around.”

I like that.

It shows me that Rob doesn't put up with bullshit.

It shows me that Rob hangs out with a narrow circle of friends

because he WANTS to.

Not because he has to.

He's picky.

Not everyone gets to be in his circle.

And it should tell you something...

when Kristen is ALWAYS in the circle.

The fucking CENTER of his circle.

His circle pretty much revolves around Kristen.

Yeah.

That should tell you something.

I was going to write more...

But I believe the TCA red carpet starts soon...

And who knows what fun stuff we will see tonight?

(only the shadow knows)

This post is brought to you by Circles.

Rob and Kristen

Inner Circle

Circle of Love

Red Circles 

You know those red circles of ridiculous on pictures

that people feel the need to circle a plant

or a wall...

or a crack in the sidewalk to prove something

that doesn't fucking matter anyway.

and this post is brought to you by...

My undying adoration of all things Tom Sturridge.

Let the games begin.

Until next time

Bye for now