The information, content and images on
these pages are purely in fun
and are in no way meant to cause anyone harm, grief or despair.
If you are sensitive and lack a sense of humor,
please, don't go any further.
Some places, names, and events are fictional
and any resemblance, likeness,
or similarity to any person living or dead
is purely coincidental.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Rob and Kristen-- Guest Blogger


The opinions expressed in the following post
do not necessarily reflect the opinions of
Robert Pattinson Intoxication.
But then again...
Maybe they do.

Any pictures and/or smilies used in this post
were added by me.

Here we go..

*****************************************************************************

ATTENTION ROBERT PATTINSON/KRISTEN STEWART FANDOM

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FOR CITIZENS OF THE WORLD! THIS IS
THE EMERGENCY FOR WHICH WE HAVE BEEN PREPARING!

PLEASE PROCEED UNDER THE CLOSEST DESK OR HEAVY TABLE, GRAB YOUR ANKLES,
AND READ THIS ANNOUNCEMENT IN A PANICKY VOICE!

At this point in time, we can confirm that (GRAB YOUR ANKLES HARDER) Robert Pattinson WAS IN FACT
at a bar with friends AND there were other women present!

(I will pause here and allow you all to scream and panic and write ridiculous emails and tweets about how
this MUST be the end of Rob and Kris' relationship and how he probably was, in fact, fucking some used up hag actress on the bar in front of everyone.)

(Also cue the Kristen supporters who are so fucking delusional that they believe they have to bash Robert if he and Kris are not together, 24 hours a day, 366 days per year)

(Oh and also, RED ALERT to the Rob haters who believe he is an alcoholic and a manwhore)

Now that all groups who like to jump to conclusions and over react have been notified, please let the insanity begin!!!

Ok for anyone with a fucking brain let's think about some things here....

This is Robert Pattinson.  We know some things about him. He's a good guy, a good friend, he's loyal, he likes to play music (acoustic guitar mostly) and he loves one person at a time. (BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT LAST BIT? HE WAS AT A BAR WITH LINDSAY LOHAN!!!!)

Well, again, USE YOUR FUCKING BRAIN PEOPLE. Robert has never been linked to more than one woman at a time.  He had some old girlfriends--notice the use of the term girlfriends MEANING, because I obviously have to spell it out, the guy is a serial monogamist. He dates one person at a time and usually for a good deal of time.

(BUT SOME NONSTENS AND TWEETERS SAY ROB HOOKS UP WITH LOTS OF GIRLS)
Name one.

I'm waiting

Still waiting.

Do you have ANY idea what an "I slept with Robert Pattinson" story would be worth to the tabloids?  Even in American money (haha) it would be  certainly enough to entice even the most moral of slutty women to talk and share. Yet, we are some 5 years into this nonsense and not one of these alleged conquests has come forward.   Know why?  BECAUSE THERE AREN'T ANY!!  THE FUCKING MORONS WHO MAKE THESE CLAIMS HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING BUT TALK. NOT ONE PICTURE NOT ONE WITNESS NOT ONE ANYTHING OTHER THAN JEALOUS BITTER HARPIES WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TALK SHIT ABOUT A DECENT GOOD PERSON.

Moving on.


This is Kristen Stewart.  Lovely, beautiful and yes, talented.  Oh and I know there are some "paralegals" in New Jersey who don't agree she is talented but when EVERY SINGLE PERSON she has worked with her does nothing but sing her praises, well I am going with the directors and producers and other actors and I'll let the paralegal go fuck herself. (By the way, did you ever see a picture of that bitch, because she is seriously one of the ugliest women I've ever seen. Someone shared a picture of her in a bathing suit and I had to wretch afterwards)

Now this is Lindsey Lohan.


Hmmmmm, aside from the obvious why the hell would Robert possibly give up or risk a solid, healthy relationship with Kristen to entangle himself with this mess of a life.....

(BUT WAIT, WE HAVE PICTURES OF THEM SIPPING CHAMPAGNE
 TOGETHER ACCORDING TO TMZ)
Pssst, no you don't. You have a picture of Rob leaving (and looking angry because more than likely a certain recently incarcerated washed-up actress called the paps when she realized Rob was there and she could get herself some attention by selling him out) and then a picture of said washed-up fame whore leaving later that night.

(BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PICTURES OF THEM FUCKING ON THE BAR???)  I was kidding you idiot--there obviously are no pictures of them within even 20 feet of each other. WHY? Because they don't know one another.  Cameras DO IN FACT work indoors and trust that if they were chatting, standing near each other, or even in the same room, there would be pictures. Instead we've got the earth shattering news that GASP ROBERT WAS AT A BAR WITH FRIENDS and LINDSEY LOHAN WAS AT A BAR WITH FRIENDS.
 The rest is nothing but bullshit folks.

Oh and by the way, Ms. Lohan tried this before without success.
She REALLY needs a hobby.

(BUT MAYBE HE AND LINDSAY WERE THERE TOGETHER!!)   I'll let you in on a little secret....Rob is kind of a pussy about police and crime.  I could tell you stories about when he was younger and he would dive out of windows if he thought the police might be bursting in to catch him drinking when he was not yet legal--good times good times--but there is NO FUCKING WAY Robert is going to volunteer to be near someone who is the tornado of trouble that is Ms. Lohan.  Not happening...no how...no way.

So on behalf of your governments I implore you to stop being over-reactionary and use your brains.  Rob is a bright boy and he loves Kristen. He's not about to mess that up and besides, she would certainly kick his ass if he did--hahaha.  

This is nonsense and you all should know better than to react to it.


One more thing, just in case any of you heard about a certain art show going on I wanted to just express that the no name hacks who are participating are simply leaches who have no hope of ever making anything of their lives without trying to exploit and mock a young girl who has never hurt anyone or done anything wrong. For those that argue that the "curator" is a fan and intends it as a tribute, trust that she is the king of the leaches and attaching her hole in the wall, rat-infested store to this project was the only way she could hope to generate even 1 person wandering in for any reason besides to use her urine caked loo.  She and all participating are the worst sort and I hope they all rot in the hottest part of hell.

***************************************************************************

This post is brought to you by
TWIMC


Thank You Guest Blogger.
Until next time...

Bye for now

You're the cutest thing that I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Want to shake your tree

258 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 258 of 258
Hope said...

Dear GUEST BLOGGER....

Thank you...thank you ...thank you!!

You and Rose make an awesome team and I LOVED each and every word!

Sweet, wonderful, Rob is in a class all by himself, and there's is NO WAY in HELL he would be associated with LL.

Rose...the PICS alone tell the story! LOL

Hope everyone in Roseland is ready for the weekend.
Happy Easter to those celebrating the holiday.

ali mac said...

MELINDA We roll our eggs to symbolise the stone being rolled away form the tomb on the day of resurrection.

ladyevenstar22 said...

LOL sighhh i thought something terrible or incredibly wow had happened for a sec there until i read on and saw it was the same old same old trash trying to get out of the gutter it dwells in!

these artificially created drama hardly make me blink anymore, i guess like edward i decided it was a mind over matter case not worthy of my attention

ps: is that truly lindsay lohan what the hell happened to that girl, she looks like a wash-up porn star OMG her lips her nose had a bad encounter with a plastic surgeon! oh my to think that's the little girl from parent trap or the teenager from mean girls, she's a cautionary tale for young hollywood , i keep waiting to hear she overdosed on something, yet i feel bad for her and hope somehow she turns her life around but so far i don't see how as she has not shown any inclination to change her ways and stop ending up in front of a judge every other month!!

W said...

Hi everyone!

Amazing posts!
1º - Rose's post - I loved the Roger and Kate's story! Sensitive, delicate and true as Robert and Kristen's story! I also love Kristen, brave and strong girl! Is sad ... how people are cruel with who is different or unusual ... no fair...
2º - Guest Blogger - Well done! Congratulations! Genuine pleasure to read what you wrote! Rob and Kristen deserve our love and support.

Well...
I'm back! Guys, I loved the message of good trip. Thanks!
I really missed you, here. I returned a few days ago, but I'm still putting my life in order... but, travel it was worth it! It was fuckingtastic!

DK, my sweet friend, no words to express how I missed you! And also our bit chat .
Hope you're well and thanks for the good vibes for me ... I was bold and crazy ... lol ... So good!
The photo on the side ai ... I'm "driving" an elephant ... "leading Miss Sofia"... my niece ... LOL ...

Big hug and Good Easter for all

DreamerKind said...

Quiet Sound

Liz Damon's Orient Express:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB3iKBl7ukw

The quiet sound of my love for you
When I'm alone and the night is new
Fills my heart so
Just as though you were here

The quiet thrill of our happiness
The quiet thought of your soft caress
Makes my love grow
Just as though you were here

I count each second
Minute
Perfections in it
While away from you
And I'm longing to hear
That you're counting them too

It won't be long till my dream comes true
And all my life I will share with you
The rich deep and clear
Quiet sound of our love

Thank you/cvtexas

DreamerKind said...

Life's A Dream

Built To Spill:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nY9lXSm3HVA

Miles till dawn
But it feels so dark till then
Drowns you out
But you can't be too certain

Common wants
Only fill me up with need
Everybody in this world
Is just like me
So I row on

Sounds like fear
Thinking there might be a cure
Waste your life
But you don't know it's worth

Comb your mind
For all the treasures of this earth
Too close to find
Anything inside yourself
So why row on

Life ain't nothing
But a dream
Realistic as it seems

Destiny's vulgar
So I might as well resist
Out of the darkness
And all the secrets still exist

Finally decided
And by decide I mean accept
I don't need all those
Other chances I won't get
So I row on

Thank you/MrAlstec

DreamerKind said...

Happy Saturday!

@Wania
Wonderful to see you, especially on an elephant! Was getting worried, now happy you lived it up!

@Melinda
Don't lift your hat to me, I'm hiring help. Old bones, too often groan, when used alone.

@Dottie
Haven't worn four of my five hats yet, so I'll pick one and parade around in it.

DreamerKind said...

Hear Ye, Call

Ring Ring

ABBA (1973):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEbZqnC2oN4

I was sitting by the phone,
I was waiting all alone,
Baby, by myself I sit and wait
And wonder about you

It's a dark and dreary night,
Seems like nothing's going right,
Won't you tell me honey,
How can I go on here without you

Yes, I'm down and feeling blue
And I don't know what to do, oh-oh
Ring, ring, why don't you give me a call
Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all

Ring, ring
I stare at the phone on the wall
And I sit all alone impatiently,
Won't you please understand
The need in me,
So, ring, ring
Why don't you give me a call

You were here and now you're gone,
Hey, did I do something wrong
I just can't believe
That I could be so badly mistaken,

Was it me or was it you,
Tell me, are we really through
Won't you hear me cry,
And you will know

That my heart is breaking,
Please forgive and then forget,
Or maybe darling
Better yet, oh-oh

Ring, ring
Why don't you give me a call
Ring, ring, the happiest sound of them all
Ring, ring, I stare at the phone on the wall

And I sit all alone impatiently,
Won't you please
Understand the need in me,
So, ring, ring
Why don't you give me a call

Thank you/Vorticon

DreamerKind said...

Thank You

Led Zeppelin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=28BAZ_EFSt8

If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you
When mountains crumble to the sea
There would still be you and me
Kind woman, I give you my all
Kind woman, nothing more

Little drops of rain
Whisper of the pain
Tears of loves lost
In the days gone by

Our love is strong
Here there is no wrong,
Together we shall go until we die My, my, my.
Inspiration's what you are to me Inspiration, look... see.

And so today, my world it smiles
Your hand in mine
We walk the miles
Thanks to you it will be done
For you to me are the only one

Happiness, no more be sad
Happiness....I'm glad
If the sun refused to shine
I would still be loving you
If the mountains
Should crumble to the sea
There would still be
You and me

Thank you/classicrockhead1969

ali mac said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DreamerKind said...

Looks like my kiddos will marry in May 2013, so dress shopping soon, with the bride-to-be!

Sleepytime, for I'm looking forward to going out later today, must rest now.

Shine on.

DreamerKind said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ali mac said...

I hate it when blogger is being a pain and you have to comment to see the latest comments!!

Super RN Gas Passer said...

SYD. I saw the pic of the girl in the bikini ... and some of the other ONES. That is some scary stuff! Thanks PRPRO...

Lady Fallow said...

Good morning,

Thank you and welcome Guest Blogger...well put and very apropos.

This all started with X17 - Satan's home base!! That should have been enough to ignore everything about the supposed 'get-together' but alas, one needs working brain cells for that thus the reason for all of this nonsense.

A well known 'gossip' columnist said it best 'Having bad manners is forgivable if they are directed at Lindsay Lohan' If she ever shows up, don't talk to her, head for the quickest exit and run for your life!!

These washed up wannabe's are blood suckers wanting to hang onto to working successful people to have a semblance of importance.

Total fail LL, major fail.

And Rosee...I think you DO agree with everything that was said and rightly so.

Thanks for inviting him(her). If there are any more 'guest' bloggers out there with as much common sense, please make welcome them once again.

ali mac said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
katy said...

Hello Roseland,

What is up with blogger these days? We can't see past 200 comments unless we post a comment.


Happy Easter for those who celebrate, and for those who don't wish you all a happy day as well!

DreamerKind said...

Good day!

I haven't figured out how to get to the new comments without posting either. Roseland hasn't had over 200 comments in a while, so now Blogger has changed. Oh, well, no biggie, post away I say.

beacullen said...

Rob and Lindsay trainwreck Lohan? BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg who would even believe that shit? Stupid haters apparently. They're like the rats scurring for the last piece of floating shit to keep them from drowing in their own stupidity. Ugh gets so old. R and K FOREVER!!!!! lol thanks Guest blogger

Litmom said...

Hi DK - I figured it out, but it's nice to know I wasn't the only one having a problem. Makes me feel less challenged. :-).

And a wedding? Fun! We had one last May, so ask me anything - I have the MOB thing down pat!

TwiHusband said...

Late to the party as always.

Let me get this straight...there are actually people that believe that a class act like Robert would knowingly entangle himself a washed up toxic "trying to salvage the pathetic tatters of a pathetic career" fame-seeker like Lohan? That he would cheat on Kristen with ANYONE, let alone that walking petri dish?

Ron White was right. "Ya cain't fix stupid."

Rick

Dottie said...

Hi Roseland! I hope everyone is having a fun week end. I helped at an Easter Egg Hunt this morning, which was alot of fun. My guys are too old for egg hunts now but son2 did let the cute girl at the face painting booth talk him into letting her paint his face to look like a bunny...

TwiHusband, I'm not sure if they believe it or if they just WANT to believe it, but Ron White's saying applies either way. :)

W said...

Hi everyone!

Ready for some music at night ... preparing Easter meal ...

W said...

DK, congrats for your kiddos!
If I was not so far would like to help you in changes now and shopping for wedding. I like weddings!

*I*Believe* said...

Happy Easter everyone!

*I*Believe* said...

Now that I can see the comments....congrats DK!

Groovie said...

hello! Hope u are all having a good weekend and to everyone who celebrates it, have a very happy easter!

I'm closest to my family in texas and I wish they lived closer, holidays are always more enjoyable with family and little kids around.
My dad usually has to work on holidays so its just me, my mom & sisters now. No holidays feel very holiday-ish to me anymore! I miss hiding eggs for kids and stuff, that's so fun! Oh well! My mom tries to keep it fun, I may be 30 but I still get an easter basket :) LOL

DreamerKind said...

Happy Easter! Happy Sunday!

May your day be filled with light, love and llilies.

said...

Just passing...

DreamerKind said...

For Wania

O' She Will Bring

Alice DiMilece:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVhr2F1g_lE

Oh she will bring
The buds in the spring
And laugh among
The flowers

In summers heat
Her kisses are sweet
She sings in
Leafy bowers

She cuts the cane
And gathers the grain
When leaves of fall
Surround her

Her bones grow old
And winter be cold
She wraps her cloak
Around her

Oh she will bring
The buds in the spring
And laugh among
The flowers

Thank you/KeepMusicPagan

DreamerKind said...

Roll Away Your Stone

Mumford & Sons:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HS4MCDnZxlw

Roll away your stone
I will roll away mine
Together we can see
What we will find

Don't leave me alone at this time
For I am afraid
Of what I will discover inside

You told me that
I wouldn't find a home
Beneath the fragile
Substance of my soul

And I have filled this void
With things unreal
And all the while
My character it steals

Darkness is a harsh term
Don't you think
Yet it dominates
The things I see

It seems that all
My bridges have been burned
But you say
"That's exactly how
This grace thing works'

It's not the long walk home
That will change this heart
But the welcome I receive
With every start

Stars hide your fires
For these here are my desires
And I won't give them up
To you this time around

And so I will be found
With my stake stuck in the ground
Marking the territory
Of this newly impassioned soul

And you, you've gone too fa
This time
You have neither reason nor rhyme
With which to take this soul
That is so rightfully mine

Thank you/vladroman01

DreamerKind said...

When A Child Is Born

Sarah Brightman:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZGiBL5RtdY

A ray of hope
Flickers in the sky
A tiny star lights up
Way up high

All across the land
Dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass
When a child is born

A silent wish
Sails the seven seas
The winds of change
Whisper in the trees

And the walls of doubt
Tumble tossed and torn
This comes to pass
When a child is born

A rosy hue
Settles all around
You start to feel
You're on solid ground

For a spell or two
No one seems forlorn
This comes to pass
When a child is born

It's all a dream
An illusion now
It must come true
Sometime soon somehow

All across the land
Dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass
When a child is born

Thank you/Pharmacist3p

DreamerKind said...

@*IB*
Thanks, have a lovely day, today.

@Litmom
I will happily ask you ??, dear MIL, that you surely are.

Fiorels said...

Happy Easter Rose and everyone!
have a beautiful day :)

DreamerKind said...

A Glimpse Of Heaven

Strawbs (1971):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6kNulTA0bg

The hillside was a patchwork quilt
Neatly stitched with tidy hedge
And crumbling grey stone wall
The trees were bare

But Spring was near
To conjure up its endless strings
Of green magic handkerchieves

Could you only see what I've seen
You would surely know what I mean
I think I must have caught
A glimpse of heaven

A string of diamonds formed a stream
That tumbled down the daunting cliff
To sparkle bright on the beach

Newborn lambs that sweetly played
Speckled eggs all newly laid
But for you I would have stayed
I think
I must have
Caught a glimpse of heaven

Thank you/musicaldun1

DreamerKind said...

@Fiorels
And to you! Loving your new vids, sweetie!

ali mac said...

hi

DreamerKind said...

Flying fast to slumber. Hippity hop.

DreamerKind said...

@ali mac
Enjoyed the eggs rolling explanation. Have a great Easter.

Birdie said...

Happy Easter Rose, Smitty, Gruff, Syd and Roselanders! I hope you all have a lovely day.

Off to fill the Easter basket. The kids are to old for the bunny, but no one is to old for candy.

Leni said...

Happy Easter everyone!

Groovie - I also still get an Easter basket from my mom (I'm 24)
:)

DK - Congratulations again to you and your kids!

Hope you are all enjoying the holidays :)

Rhonda said...

Morning,

Just wanted to wish all who celebrate a happy Easter, and a very happy Sunday to those who don't. I hope everyone enjoys a nice day whatever you do.

Lots of love...

Rhonda said...

DK- I just saw the date has been set. That's great news!

Why can't I see any comments beyond 200?

sjjw said...

Happy Easter everyone!

love, sj

sjjw said...

Hey Rhonda! I hope you can see this...*hugs*

sj

Dottie said...

Happy Easter to all my Roseland friends! xoxox

angelica1 said...

Happy Easter to everyone.

DK - I'm sure you'll outshine the bride on the day :)

Super RN Gas Passer said...

I can get to the next page of comments IF I use my I Phone ... here's the kicker... NOT on my I Pad!:( and for 2 weeks now I have had to use Safari instead of Google on my I Phone because I can't get Google to come up even though I have the updated App Hmmm I'm wondering now if it's a Google problem.

Happy Easter All:)

Super RN Gas Passer said...

ANGELICA. Good afternoon to you. I had to laugh at your comment to DK and I agree!

Super RN Gas Passer said...

Happy Easter DOTTIE (hugs)!

olivia said...

Dear Rose and Roseland,

Wishing a beautiful and joyous Easter to all who celebrate.
Wishing everyone a lovely Sunday.

How wonderful, DK, that the date has been set. Another beautiful life moment coming up. Enjoy the fun and excitement of all the preparations.

Hugs for y'all.
Hugs for Smitty, Gruff and Syd.

I will wish it again tomorrow, but would like to wish Kristen an early, very Happy, Happy Birthday. May all your dreams and wishes come true. Happiness for you and yours.

angelica1 said...

Happy Easter Super - How could she not?

Birdie said...

I just figured out the comments and had missed reading many.
DK,
Congratulations on your daughter-woohoo!

Annie said...

Good morning and Happy Easter!

-----------------------

Hope said...

HAPPY EASTER !!!!

Wishing everyone a fun and relaxing day!



DK...Yay...the wedding date is set...so happy for all of you!

Marjorie1211 said...

Great post Guest Blogger

Birdie said...

I am thinking we will have a new post today, just an early shout out....

Happy Birthday Kristen Jaymes Stewart! Long may you reign!

30 said...

Hi all!

WOW Guest blogger you are very talented. I was in tears laughing so hard at this post. The insanity of these 'fans" never cease too amaze me.

I am a bit scared though, please tell me Sybil is not from NJ? lol

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