**SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED**
**READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**
The post you are about to read is true.
My true opinion.
I'm going to discuss Michael Oregano...
And I know how upset some people get
when Saint Michael
the martyr of Robsten is discussed in any capacity
other than "he must be a good guy".
So don't read this if your self righteous sensibilities
will get all bent out of shape.
It's just a post on a blog after all.
Not etched in fucking stone.
|Sad. Stumpy. Spice.|
This is an old picture from the days of
You know... the silly little videos where the jar of shorty spice
was always lurking behind Kristen and Robert.
Maybe it's just me...
But that's all Oregano seemed to do back in the day...
Follow Kristen around.
I guess its not a bad job if you think about it.
If you don't mind being in someone elses shadow...
The reason for this post is a tweet that was
sent to me recently.
I'm sure you all saw it by now...
Supposedly on Kristen's birthday
Michael's cousin made the grand gesture of tweeting
(Her name has been removed because she deleted the tweet
after realizing how bitchy it was)
Happy birthday #KristinStewart !
Say hi to Michael Angarano for me
oooh wait you dumped my cousin..
Can you imagine the Hub Bub... Bub?
Kristen Stewart had the AUDACITY to dump this girl's cousin!
How dare she!
And then you know what happens... right?
You get the straggler ninnies
(You know... the ones that still cling to their delusions)
who then proceed to go on a rant about how
1. Kristen and Rob cheated on Oregano...
2. Kristen must have realized she was gay
so that's why she broke up with him.
3. Kristen was deliriously happy with Oregano
but Summit made her end the relationship.
Blah blah fucking blah.
Kristen was a teenager when she dated Shorty Spice.
A mere lass.
So... where does it say she can never move on
from a teenage romance?
A high school fling?
She must remain with him out of some sort
of perplexing loyalty?
I know this topic has been done to fucking death.
But good lord.
Kristen was dating the bland dried up spice...
They had a few laughs
But you know what happens when you are a mere lass of 17?
You fucking grow up.
And you move on.
|SEE!!! I can look just like him!|
It just so happens that Kristen moved on with Robert.
Not a bad move.
Not at all.
So Kristen fell for Robert Pattinson.
Didn't we all?
So she lets go of her childhood infatuation...
and moves on to a more mature
and REAL relationship.
What's wrong with that?
Why must 'cheating' be involved at all?
She was dating Mike Oregano
Then she's not.
She starts dating Robert.
|Soapy Oregano? Bwahahaha!|
No one wants to be 'dumped'
but it happens to everyone somewhere along the line
Even Robert got dumped a few times along the way
(and I'm sure the ex's are kicking themselves for that one)
It's not the end of the world...
Shorty Spice is still out there
being bland and diminutive
Maybe letting others speak for him
every now and then.
If you know what I mean...
And I think that you do.
|Robert is definitely Prince Charming... is there a Stumpy Dwarf?|
He's not Saint Michael...
He's not some wronged scorned angel
He's a guy who was dating a girl...
And they broke up.
Get over it.
I can guarantee you that Kristen has.
|THIS is the face of LOVE.|
And one more thing...
Will people ever stop with the bullshit
that Summit dictates every facet of Kristen's (and Rob's) life?
They break up previous relationships
Force 2 actors to pretend to be together for years
Make endless people 'lie' about how wonderful it is
working with Kristen
and about her adorable relationship with Robert.
Pay off cities and states and countries
Make the whole world believe their lies
JUST to promote movies that need no promotion.
If Summit has complete and total control over
every move Robert and Kristen make
(Paddle boarding for PR!!!)
Tell me again why they couldn't stop Kristen from
cutting her hair for The Runaways?
(Watching it the other day made me think of this again)
They can force her to lose years of her love life
Telling her Who to see
Where to go
What to do
But they can't stop her from something as simple
(and honestly... hair IS something studios do control
Look at Emma Watson and how quickly she cut her
hair after Harry Potter was over)
As NOT cutting her hair?
They wrote all those other life controlling things
into this fictional contract...
But forgot to add the haircut clause!!
This post is brought to you by the 'EPIC LOVE'
|Looks pretty good to me...|
Is it Epic?
That's not for you or me to decide.
That's completely up to them.
We don't get a say.
But it is love.
That much is...
Truth is fucking truth.
And this post is also brought to you by...
I can't wait to see what his next move is...
Sugar and Spice...
and EVERYTHING nice.
Until next time
Bye for now
P.S. If you were offended by this post...
All I have to say is
Lighten the fuck up, Francis
It's really not that serious.