Rob and Kristen- Sugar and Spice

**WARNING**

**SARCASM ALERT**

**SENSE OF HUMOR REQUIRED**

**READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**

 The post you are about to read is true.

My true opinion.

I'm going to discuss Michael Oregano...

And I know how upset some people get

when Saint Michael 

the martyr of Robsten is discussed in any capacity

other than "he must be a good guy".

Right.

So don't read this if your self righteous sensibilities

will get all bent out of shape.

Or do.

It's just a post on a blog after all.

Not etched in fucking stone.

Sad. Stumpy. Spice.

 This is an old picture from the days of 

Wheres Oregano?

You know... the silly little videos where the jar of shorty spice

was always lurking behind Kristen and Robert.

 Maybe it's just me...

But that's all Oregano seemed to do back in the day...

Follow Kristen around.

I guess its not a bad job if you think about it.

If you don't mind being in someone elses shadow...

ANYWAY.

The reason for this post is a tweet that was

sent to me recently.

I'm sure you all saw it by now...

Supposedly on Kristen's birthday

Michael's cousin made the grand gesture of tweeting

(Her name has been removed because she deleted the tweet

after realizing how bitchy it was)

 Happy birthday #KristinStewart ! 

Say hi to Michael Angarano for me

 oooh wait you dumped my cousin..

WELL!

Can you imagine the Hub Bub... Bub?

Kristen Stewart had the AUDACITY to dump this girl's cousin!

How dare she!

And then you know what happens... right?

You get the straggler ninnies

(You know... the ones that still cling to their delusions)

who then proceed to go on a rant about how

1. Kristen and Rob cheated on Oregano...

2. Kristen must have realized she was gay

so that's why she broke up with him.

3. Kristen was deliriously happy with Oregano

but Summit made her end the relationship.

Blah blah fucking blah.

Really?

Kristen was a teenager when she dated Shorty Spice.

A mere lass.

So... where does it say she can never move on

from a teenage romance?

A high school fling?

She must remain with him out of some sort

of perplexing loyalty?

Huh?

I know this topic has been done to fucking death.

But good lord.

Kristen was dating the bland dried up spice...

They had a few laughs

But you know what happens when you are a mere lass of 17?

You fucking grow up.

And you move on.

SEE!!! I can look just like him!

It just so happens that Kristen moved on with Robert.

Not a bad move.

Nope.

Not at all.

So Kristen fell for Robert Pattinson.

Didn't we all?

So she lets go of her childhood infatuation...

and moves on to a more mature

and REAL relationship.

What's wrong with that?

Why must 'cheating' be involved at all?

She was dating Mike Oregano

Then she's not.

She starts dating Robert.

Simple.

Soapy Oregano? Bwahahaha!

No one wants to be 'dumped'

but it happens to everyone somewhere along the line

doesn't it?

Even Robert got dumped a few times along the way

(and I'm sure the ex's are kicking themselves for that one)

It's not the end of the world...

Shorty Spice is still out there

being bland and diminutive

Still lurking...

Maybe letting others speak for him

every now and then.

If you know what I mean...

And I think that you do.

Robert is definitely Prince Charming... is there a Stumpy Dwarf?

He's not Saint Michael...

He's not some wronged scorned angel

He's a guy who was dating a girl...

And they broke up.

Get over it.

I can guarantee you that Kristen has.

THIS is the face of LOVE.

And one more thing...

Will people ever stop with the bullshit

that Summit dictates every facet of Kristen's (and Rob's) life?

They break up previous relationships

Force 2 actors to pretend to be together for years

Make endless people 'lie' about how wonderful it is

working with Kristen

and about her adorable relationship with Robert.

Pay off cities and states and countries

Make the whole world believe their lies

JUST to promote movies that need no promotion.

But remember...

If Summit has complete and total control over 

every move Robert and Kristen make

(Paddle boarding for PR!!!)

Tell me again why they couldn't stop Kristen from 

cutting her hair for The Runaways?

(Watching it the other day made me think of this again)

They can force her to lose years of her love life

Telling her Who to see

Where to go

What to do

But they can't stop her from something as simple

(and honestly... hair IS something studios do control

Look at Emma Watson and how quickly she cut her

hair after Harry Potter was over)

As NOT cutting her hair?

They wrote all those other life controlling things

into this fictional contract...

But forgot to add the haircut clause!!

Imagine That!

This post is brought to you by the 'EPIC LOVE'

Looks pretty good to me...

Is it Epic?

That's not for you or me to decide.

That's completely up to them.

We don't get a say.

But it is love.

That much is...

well...

Obvious.

Truth is fucking truth.

And this post is also brought to you by...

Adore.

Thomas Sturridge.

I can't wait to see what his next move is...

Sugar and Spice...

and EVERYTHING nice.

Until next time

Bye for now

P.S. If you were offended by this post...

All I have to say is

Lighten the fuck up, Francis

It's really not that serious.

Truly.

I See Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart

I'm a cynic.

Not just a little bit...

I mean

I'm majorly cynical.

All the time.

Maybe this surprises some people.

Maybe it doesn't.

But I don't accept anything at face value.

Especially online.

I always wonder if there is an agenda...

if someone has a motive...

An angle.

And they usually do.

That being said...

I'm not fooled easily.

I don't blindly 'follow' anyone.

I make up my own mind...

based on what I see.

What I hear.

What I think.

So I have cynically looked at Robert and Kristen.

Are they together?

Is it all an act?

Well, even though I believe Rob and Kristen to be good actors...

Nobody is THAT good.

A lot has been said about how Robert smiles so big

whenever Kristen is around.

Well, it's true that Rob smiles a lot... all the time.

But Robert never... NEVER looks at anyone else

the way he looks at Kristen.

Even my cynical eye recognizes that much.

And the way he is drawn to her.

Yes.

Physically his body always seems turned towards her.

Like he can't help it.

Like it's a magnetic force...

She moves. He moves.

Believe me...

Even though I noticed an attraction way before "Twilight" came out...

I would sometimes sit back and wonder if it was fleeting...

If once they got past the 'honeymoon' phase of getting to know each other

Would they just carry on with their lives?

In the beginning I would see moments where Kristen was

alternately smitten with Rob...

and then looking annoyed.

Where Robert was all about crushing on Kristen...

To hanging out with various female friends.

So what was it?

Well first they had get rid of a major obstacle.

Michael Oregano.

(Please don't give me shit about calling him Oregano...

I don't hate the guy.

I actually think Oregano is kinda cute...

If you like 'em short and spicy.)

Ahh... Oregano.

I'm pretty sure he realized shit was over as soon

as Kristen came home from the Twilight audition

and couldn't stop talking about Rob...

And then he saw Rob...

Tall. Lanky. Charming. Witty. Gorgeous.

And then the Vanity Fair photo shoot happened.

You all watched the video.

You all saw the pictures.

There was no denying it anymore.

I don't care how many people were around them.

I don't care if there were photographers telling them

to do this or do that...

They were in their own little bubble.

The intimacy.

The affection.

We were watching 2 people fall in love.

No.

It didn't just happen all at once.

It built gradually.

Where before...

Oregano was lurking behind Kristen wherever she went...

One day...

He just wasn't there anymore.

(Even though some 'people' would have you believe

that he and Kristen are still secretly dating.

Kinda strange how he hasn't been in her life for over a year...

but they are together... isn't it?

Yet, Rob and Kristen are constantly together...

but not dating.

Yeah... I know.)

TWILIGHT

NEW MOON

ECLIPSE

 

It's still happening.

I would be the first to admit if I didn't think it was.

But unlike some hyenas others...

I don't have an agenda when it comes to 

Robert and Kristen being together.

I don't 'ship' them

I don't chase people down and force my opinions

down their throats...

I honestly don't give a shit if you 'believe' or not.

I do.

It's been going on for a long time now.

And nothing has come along to change my mind.

If anything...

I'm more convinced than ever

That Rob and Kristen are indeed together.

I may be cynical by nature...

But I don't need constant reassurance

that they are still in a relationship.

I can see for myself.

 

And I see 2 people...

who have a lot in common...

who are going through something extraordinary together.

Who have bonded... and gotten close

Who make each other happy

Who manage to find time to be together...

Even when they are working in different parts of the world.

And I still keep seeing it.

Over and over again.

And I don't see Robert with anyone else.

I don't see Kristen with anyone else.

They haven't been without the other in a long time.

That's what I see.

I BELIEVE.

 

***********************************************

This post has been brought to you by the letter Z

Because it's been kinda sleepy around here lately

ZZzzZZZzzz

Next stop?

The TCA's

and then...

Montreal?

Bye for now

♥♥♥

 

I was out for a drink in a Soho bar
The air was smoked out liked a cheap cigar
She rose out of her seat like a painted ghost
She was the woman that I wanted the most
As she reached for my arm I gave her my hand
I said 'Lay me down easy, let me understand'

Oregano Stalks Pocket Edward

I'm bored.

There's nothing really going on in Rob-land...

So I thought I would post some of the pics

I had taken for "Where's Oregano 3- It's Personal"

You know... Where Oregano is always lurking around Rob...

I kinda miss Oregano.

Remember when Rob was 'grazed' by a taxi

while filming Remember Me in NYC?

Some rapid Paparazzi chased him into the street...

Well... I found a pic.

Look who is driving the cab...

Oregano!

And his passenger?

Nikki, of course.

:)

Ah. The Rob manip.

Someone put Rob's beautiful face

on Oregano's stumpy body.

As. Fucking. If.

So there is my version of this picture...

Little green Rob wannabe...

Oregano tried so hard...

for so long...

But we all knew where this would end up.

Didn't we?

I remember vividly when these pics came out.

So much chatter about Rob kissing Emilie.

I saw zero chemistry between them.

And it has nothing to do with me liking Kristen.

Look at how awkward and stiff they are.

Pocket Edward already has the stiff thing working...

(with Oregano hiding in the sand...)

Now...

You may think I don't like

Michael Angarano

(See? I can spell his name right...

if I look it up)

But I really have no ill will

toward the little condiment.

He's the Nice Spice.

And he's supplied me

with much laughter

while making the Oregano videos.

And Nikki Reed?

Well...

I'm sure she's very sweet.

But the way she plastered herself

to Rob and Kristen...

kinda got on my nerves.

The hugging and the kissing

and the arm holding

and the giggling

and the photo ops

and the sharing the cigarette

and the attaching yourself

to whatever will

make people notice you...

Tedious.

I hope Michael and his new Kristen look-alike

are very happy.

I hope Nikki and her Greek Paris

are very happy.

Now that they are out of the picture...

Rob and Kristen look pretty damn happy.

Where is Oregano?

I reluctantly have put the jar

back in the spice cabinet...

I shall miss you.

Bye for now ♥

Obsessed with Vampires or Robert Pattinson?

Random Thoughts...

Did you watch 'Vampire Diaries' last night?

Did ya, did ya?

I did.

Well... first I had to make kinda a deal about it.

It's what I need to do

to perpetuate husbands

'You are so obsessed with Vampires' bullshit.

(and OK... we've gone through this before...

I am sorta fucking obsessed with Vampires...

fucking sue me.)

I liked the show.

The Rob/Edward guy was not anywhere

near as fuck hot and sexy as Robert...

But he was pretty OK...

And the brother... pretty fucking OK...

The Bella chick was adorably cute...

And yeah... total take off on Twilight...

But... eh.

I still enjoyed it.

OK.
So.
I have an appt. for a mammogram yesterday.
(TMI? It gets worse)
Yeah... a lot of us know how fun those are
(Being female fucking rocks... doesn't it?)
So anyway...
After getting my boobs squished flat...
I was put into this waiting room until
the doctor could look over the scans...
And this magazine pounced on me!
Robert Salvation!
So what if I read the fucker already...
It was Robert... and I was ready for him.
I open the magazine...
Flipping through the pages...
Looking for Robert's face...
Nothing.
WTF?
I flip through again...
No Rob.
Finally I look at the index...
Rob on page 52.
I turned to page... 49?
There is no fucking 52.
Some motherbitch fucking tore out
the article on Rob!
Seriously.
The pain was worse than
getting my boobs squished!
(Everything turned out fine, btw... I'm good)


Kristen Stewart.

Isn't she gorgeous here?

So damn pretty.

But the pictures I've seen from "Eclipse"

have me a bit worried.

She seems to be wearing a

questionable wig.

Now, I realize she cut off her hair

for the Joan Jett movie...

But um...

You gotta get Bella's hair right!

What.The.Fuck.

It's not like Summit doesn't have the fucking money.

Seriously.

The wig fucking sucks.

It worries me.

Big fucking time.

My gray Chucks.
Yes.
I got gray Chucks.
I have red Chucks.
I have pink Chucks.
Decided to get gray ones.
Why?
Well...
If you are reading this...
You already know why.
Cuz Rob wore gray Chucks!
So...
I was wearing the Chucksters
out and about yesterday.
I got 3 compliments.
"Cool shoes!"
"Love the Chucks!"
"Really like your shoes! Great color!"
Fucking awesome.
Chucks rule.
How many Chucks did a WoodChuck Chuck?
Just wondering how many times
I actually typed the word CHUCK.
Hmmm.
(I got 12...)


*sigh*

Where's Oregano?
It looks like me and T
are going to have to put this topic to bed.
Forever.
I mean...
Oregano who?
No one gives a shit about Oregano anymore...
Michael Anaganarano (hahahaha)
Or whatever the fuck his name is...
Is irrelevant.
OK... honestly...
He became irrelevant as soon
as Rob and Kristen met...
But that's beside the point.
We had fun poking fun
at his constant lurking.

But never fear...
Roxie will return!
Pocket Edward will be back!!
Until next time...

Bye for now ♥

Defending Kristen Stewart...

I've been thinking about Kristen Stewart.

A lot.

Maybe it's because it has been pretty quiet

on all things Rob...

But I always find my thoughts going

back to her...

I like her.

And the weird thing is...

I didn't expect to.

Honestly, I really didn't know who she was

when I heard she was cast as Bella...

I had seen "Panic Room", but she was so young...

I didn't get a feel for her until MTV started doing

Twilight Tuesdays.

And there she was.

Pretty, petite... and awkwardly shy.

And flirting up a storm with Rob...

I didn't like that very much.

(hey, unlike others, I can admit that I was jealous

of her close proximity to Robert)

She was very touchy-feely with Rob...

They were always touching in some way...

A lot of their interactions were very intimate...

They always had sly looks for each other...

like they had secrets and were keeping everyone else out.

They were always laughing and smiling around each other...

And most of all?

Rob looked seriously happy whenever he was with her.

Yeah, sure... there was Oregano...

But come on, you knew that he was on the way

out as soon as Rob appeared in the picture.

I mean... HELLO?

The little spice boy didn't stand a chance.

Oh, its not like he didn't fight for her...

He did.

He was fucking glued to her for months.

Everywhere Kristen was...

There was the stumpy spice

lurking in the background.

Poor Oregano.

Eventually he became stale and green

(because he was jealous... and well...

because he is Oregano)

And disappeared altogether.

I like Kristen Stewart.

She's confident.

She's talented.

She's doesn't dress to please anyone but herself.

She's smart.

She knows what she wants.

And even if she is nervous and awkward

in interviews...

That's part of her charm.
And oh man...

She is simply... gorgeous.

So many haters out there.

The delusional Twi-Twats

who actually think they have a chance with Rob.

They are constantly attacking Kristen...

Calling her names...

Making fun of her...

Some have even stated that they would

"beat her up" if they ever saw her.

What.The.Fuck.

Are you fucking kidding me?

And again...

Seriously...

If you are reading this...

and think I am talking about you?

I fucking am.

No doubt.

You. Are. A. Twi-Twat.

So.

Over the past year...

There have been zillions of pictures...

Showing Rob and Kristen...

Gazing into each others eyes...

Touching intimately...

Nuzzling and smiling...

And perhaps even kissing.

Why does this make me happy?

Kristen is perfect for Rob.

Outside of the fact that they

are obviously attracted to each other...

They share a love of reading...

Music...

Quirky fashion...

And they always seem relaxed

and happy when they are together.

Kristen knows what Rob is going through.

She is in the same Hurricane...

huddling with Rob in the calm center.

And they are holding on tight...

I like that thought.

Bye for now ♥

Oregano Sighting! Is Robsten to Blame?

Oregano has been sighted...

He has been out of the public eye for quite some time

Which is completely out of character

For the #1 Lurker!

Exclusive pic shows what has happened

to Oregano since KStew dumped his flaky ass.

He looks a bit green around the edges...

Poor thing.

Ben & Jerry's and booze... are his only friends.

Bye for now ♥

:)

Are You Talking To Me???

The above picture isn't an outtake from "Where's Oregano Part Deux"...

No.

The above picture is my oldest son's idea of a joke.

You see...

Oldest son has been aware of my ROBsession for quite some time.

I'm not sure what it is about kids, but they seem to pick up on the signs

a lot quicker than say... husbands.

Husbands who to this day... are still pretty clueless.

But anyway.

While working on O2,

Oldest Son would occasionally be around...

snickering at me... as I set up some of the pictures...

Making the random snarky comment...

"Mom... WHAT are you doing? Nevermind, I don't wanna know."

"Um... Mom? A Disney Castle? What could you possibly use that for?"

"Wow Mom. Where the hell did you get all this shit?"

" I can't watch. You scare me."

"Mom? What's with the jar of Oregano?"

And so it goes.

So anyway...

One day after a rather fruitful 'photo shoot' for O2

I was downloading the pictures onto the computer to look them over...

and then...

I came across one that I didn't recognize.

I was like...

WTF?

It seems that oldest son...

Thinking he was incredibly hilarious

(and let's face it... he was)

Staged his very own O2 pic

when I was gone.

And he even used Baby Oregano!

I have to say...

I laughed and laughed when I saw this picture.

I sent it to Trixie...

and she had a whole new appreciation

for the sense of humor that my sons have.

So there ya go.

A little Saturday Surprise.

My oldest son's contribution to O2.

I hope you laugh as much as I did!

Bye for now ♥