"They Don't Know DickShit."

"I can't spend the rest of my life coming into this

 stinking apartment every ten minutes to pore over

 the excruciating minutia of every single daily event."

- Elaine, in "The Bizarro Jerry"

I love Elaine (and Julia Louis Dreyfus)
She is, by far, one of the funniest
best written
fucking hilarious
women on sitcom TV.
EVER.

So...
That quote right there?
That's kinda exactly how I feel right now.
Insert 'fandom' for 'apartment'
EXCRUCIATING MINUTIA.
Brilliant.

That's the kind of lame-ass bullshit
that has been going round and round
this fandom for months now.
Don't you find it all so very tedious?

I can't with the analyzing every fucking detail
of Rob and Kristen's lives.
I can't with people just making up 'salacious bullshit'
to further their agenda...
My God
Just LET THEM BE.
Get.Off.Their.Dicks.

Nothing you do or say
is going to change
What is.
No matter what you believe.

"But I don't want to add to this already pre-existing,
 enormous mound of salacious bullshit that isn't real. 
That's not me defending anything. That's true.
 Just being in the middle of it it's weird to comment on it.
 But I feel oddly capable of stepping outside and going,
 "Isn't it obvious to everyone?"

"I try not to let it mess with me, because my true personal life,
 as much as people think they know about it,
they don't know dick shit.
 Who could? By the way nobody knows.
Nobody knows what the fuck is going on."

See?
Nothing.
Nobody knows anything.
All the cousins
and all the experts
and all the insiders
don't know 'dick shit'.

I don't think she could be any fucking clearer.
I would think if you could believe ANYone...
It would be Kristen.

Kristen was on the cover of Vanity Fair France.
Breathtaking.
Stunning.
The above quotes and pictures were from the interview.
It was a good read
(once it was translated)

So what else is happening besides
the excruciating minutia of the fandom?

Well.
We.
Got.
 THIS!!!!

Shaggy and Scrappy are back!
I can't even put into words
the fucking FEELS (yeah, I said feels)
I get when I see these two
TOGETHER.
It's like...
overwhelming nostalgia
combined with
overt joy.

And come on...
Its not just Shaggy and Scrappy...
Its Scooby, too!

What in the world would you do...
IF
Fucking IF
You were walking down a street in NYC
and came across this trio?
Uh huh.
Think about it.
This is just about perfect...
You know?
(just about)
I mean...
Rob AND Tom
Walking.
And I don't mean to exclude dear Sam...
But
ROB AND TOM!
I can't tell you how happy this makes me.
Or did I already?
Because I really am not sure what I have just typed
and I could just be typing and typing all kinds
of random shit and making a horrific ass out of myself
which lets be honest happens all the time
but my sweet lord
seeing Rob and Tom casually walking down the street
all wrinkled and scruffy and strutting
and sunglasses and baseball hats!
!Whew!
That's exhausting!

And then today?

We get more.
More.
More I tell you... MORE.
One. Two. Three.
In a row.
And who knew that Tom and Sam
both had earrings?

And dear lord...
we get even MORE.
I kinda envision their hotel suite...
With a big pile of wrinkly slightly worn clothes
in the middle of the room
with another pile of hats on a table.
And hey...
you just grab whatever you want and
pull it on no matter what it looks like
and who cares if its hot as hell outside...
There is nothing wrong with a knit beanie!
I kinda picture a bunch of friends
talking and eating and drinking
and laughing...
oh lots of laughing.
Enjoying the company while they can
before they go back to their busy lives.
Old friends are the best friends.

Anything else?
Does anything else matter right now?
*cue maniacal laughter*

The Rover.
(OK, I typed The Rober. I need sleep)
It's available on iTunes right now.
I haven't seen it yet.
I really
REALLY
want to see it...
But I also kinda want to buy the DVD.
I have all of Rob's movies on DVD
(with the exception of the Neibelung one)
And I kinda wanna own the actual DVD
So...
It's only a couple of weeks more... Right?
Rock. Hard Place.
And there I be sitting between them.

I didn't get to really talk about
Rob and Kristen's ALS ice bucket challenges...
(wonderful charity btw)
But that's kinda old news now.
Just wanna say...
They are both fucking adorable and generous
and I love them.


This post is brought to you by the letter B

B for Bear and Bernie and Cole!
Oh how I love how those three simple names
made the lunatic fringe... cringe.

KS: Bear and Bernie and Cole.
 They're my real security team.

They wanted to believe SO HARD
that Kristen had given up Bear and Bernie to Rob
and gotten Cole to replace them.
Oops.
Guess not.
And honestly... Like Kristen or Rob
would EVER give up their beloved dogs.
Get fucking real.

B for Bullshit
No one wants or needs
bullshit 'experts' to analyze pictures
that are over 2 years old.
Enough already.
Those pictures... that whole shitty episode
belongs in the past.
This isn't really about Rob and Kristen
Not that it ever was.
This is about someone who supposedly wants people to
believe they have secret insider sources.
Who gives a fuck?
You know dick shit.

Kristen said so.


B is for Bumblebee

I know someone who named their
daughter... Bumblebee.
I'm not kidding.
Makes Apple look pretty good, huh?


And last but never least
B for BRILLIANT.

I will NEVER get tired of this.

I adore you Thomas Sturridge.

Until next time.

Bye for now