Day 35- Kristen, Robert and Me

I'm really not sure where to start.
I guess the beginning is a good place... yes?
Yesterday was a HUGE day in the Twilight Bubble.
A real Doozie. A SupercalifragilisticexpialiDOOZIE
Am I getting across how fucking BIG it all was??
All of these beautiful, gorgeous pictures
of Rob and Kristen were leaked.
Harpers Bazaar's pictures. And they were stunning.
The sad part of it all...
was I couldn't really just sit back and enjoy them.
I had to deal with drama.
I had to deal with the constant buzz of Rob/Kristen hate.
I had to deal with misunderstandings.
Kinda took the fun out of it, ya know?

When I look at the HB pics...
I feel like I am intruding on something intensely personal.
So many of the pictures are like those taken in a silly photobooth...
Where two people are crammed close together...
Giggling and smiling and making faces at the camera.
Close together.
There aren't very many pictures where Robert and Kristen
aren't touching in some way.
Beautiful, delicious pictures.

The VF and HB articles?
I've read them both.
I'm not in the mood to nitpick the details...
At this point I feel its been picked to fucking death...
But I will say this...
I don't understand why anyone would cling to the VF article
like it was some sort of beacon of hope for Nonsten.
I just didn't see any denial...
I just saw where Rob said him and Kristen were "good friends".
Cool. We already knew that.
Did ANYone really think Rob and/or Kristen
were going to actually come out in a
magazine and declare their love?
Really?
The HB article said they were 'very close.'
Um... yeah... already knew that, too.
Constantly being in each others company.
Snuggling at concerts.
Hanging out in hotels.
Yeah... I guess that makes them pretty 'close'

To top off what an incredible shitty day yesterday...
I also got some really nice
(if nice is being stabbed repeatedly with an ice pick) Emails.
So so sweet. Lovely people.

Here's just some of the love:

Rose, why are you such a stupid bitch? What kind of lies are you going to say about the Vanity Fair interview? Rob denied being in a relationship with Kristen! Choke on it, bitch! Rob is just FRIENDS with the mullet. I hope now you can shut up about your delusional dreams about Robsten. It never happened and it never will.

Dear friend. How nice of you to write to me.
The only person who seems to be choking...
is you... On your bitter vile.
I'm sorry if I didn't see Rob deny anything.
I don't recall reading where he said
"Kristen and I are not in a relationship"
Maybe I missed it. It's possible, I suppose.
Thanks again for writing... it totally made my day.

Dear Rose. Would you please stop saying that the reason we don't like Kristen is because of jealousy? I'm not jealous of that ugly skanky mess. Just because we don't like her and don't kiss her ass like you do, doesn't mean I'm jealous of her. I just don't see why anyone likes her. She's a moody, inconsiderate bitch. That is reason enough to dislike her. So please shut up about it.

Dear Person who was kinda polite while hating on me.
My posts are meant for people who have a sense of humor.
And some common sense.
And who understand the concept of SARCASM.
Do you really expect me to believe
you aren't jealous of Kristen Stewart?
Maybe its not the reason you dislike her.
But come on, you know you are jealous.
She's hanging with Robert Pattinson in hotel rooms...
She's kissing on him and touching him...
She's playing Bella to Rob's Edward.
Rob most obviously adores her...
And that doesn't make you jealous?
Not even a little bit?
Either you are void of all emotion...
Or a liar.
Whichever.
Please don't come to my blog and tell me to shut up.
Thanks.

So that's it.
This post caps off what was a most unusual day
(there's a song there somewhere...)
I dealt with a bit of hate... but that's OK.
All I have to do is look at the HB pictures...
They make me smile.

Bye for now.

Day 34- No More Robsten. Really.

PLEASE BE WARNED:

THIS POST IS PRO-ROBSTEN.

AND REMEMBER...

IT'S ONLY MY OPINION.

I'm feeling melancholy today.
And isn't that silly?
All these glorious VF pictures...
All these glorious Japan pictures...
and here I sit...
feeling kinda sad.

This is my last post that will mention
ROBSTEN.

(The word... not the couple...heh)
I hate the word now.
It only brings negativity to mind.
I want to think good, positive things
when I think about Rob and Kristen...
I don't want to be reminded
about the selfish fans out there...
who want to choose who Robert hangs around with.
Who want to trash and insult someone...
who Rob obviously cares very deeply for.

When I think about being for ROBSTEN...
It's not for me.
I mean...
I don't get anything out of the fact
that I believe Rob and Kristen are in a relationship.
I just look at Robert...
who so honestly wears his tender heart
on his sleeve...
And how can I NOT want them to be together?
How can I not want Rob to be happy?
I think Kristen makes him happy.
Its all there.
Right in front of us.
Right on his beautiful face
every time he looks at Kristen.
How can you not see it?

And I even understand if you don't get it.
I do.
But just do a couple of things ...

1. Please stop pretending to like Kristen...
to just turn around and slyly cut her down.

"I love Kristen, if she would just comb her hair!"

You know what I mean?
Own up to disliking her.
It happens.

2. You don't have to like Kristen.
But you don't have to be so fucking nasty about it.
And admit that you are jealous of her.
Come on.
You can do it.
Seriously...
I'm jealous of her, too!
Of course I am!
She's young, gorgeous, talented...
and hanging with Robert Pattinson.
She almost begs you to be jealous!

3. Please stop saying
"I don't care".
You obviously do.
A lot.
Or you wouldn't keep telling everyone
that you don't care.
Over and over again.
Its the whole
'I think doth protest too much' kinda thing.
You care.
I care.
It's OK.

4. Please remember this is only a blog.
A silly little blog.
It's just my thoughts.
It's nothing personal against anyone.
I'm not attacking you.
Just writing down my thoughts...
in hopes of someday...
Understanding
My overwhelming addiction to
Robert Pattinson.

As Dr. Phil would say...

"How's that workin' for ya?"

Not so good.

Bye for now.

Day 33- Vanity Fair and Robert

*deep breath*
I'm not sure I will be coherent enough
to write anything today.
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
I can't stop myself from staring at Rob.
Why do these pictures make me want to cry?
Tears of absolute JOY!
How can this keep happening?
There are so many VF pics...
I only put up a few.
I can only handle so much, you know?

I suppose I should address the VF article.
I was disappointed.
Mostly because I read most of the quotes... before.
THIS is the big deal reveal?
Really?
OK.
Like I have so often said...
I take every written word with a grain of salt.
The good, the bad and the indifferent.
Even ones that I would love to believe...
I kinda have to shrug and move along.

This is what *I* know.
When Rob was done shooting in NYC
and got back to LA...
Who was the first person he went to?
Anyone?
Bueller?
It was Kristen.
He spent the days leading up to going
back to Vancouver...
With Kristen.
He wasn't forced to.
He WANTED to.
And throughout the whole Eclipse shoot...
Who was in Rob's company...
again and again?
Anyone?
Yeah... it was Kristen.
They were always together.
Always.
Together.
And until Kristen flew to Brazil
and Rob flew to Japan...
They were together.
So.
I can only conclude...
That they like being with each other.
The depths of their relationship
belong to them...
But its pretty clear to me...
That there IS a relationship.
You don't spend all your time
with someone...
that you don't want to be with.
And it's pretty clear to me...
That Rob and Kristen
want to be together.

(Actions speak louder than Words)

My head hurts.
My stomach hurts.
My heart hurts.
I'm just a big ol walking pile of pain.

You might wonder why I keep torturing myself with Robert...
if all he seems to invoke is endless suffering.
Well.
Addiction is all about the torture.
I'm always wondering where I'm going to get my
next hit of Robert.
And when I get my fix?
I fucking overdose on it.
I keep getting hit again and again...
And I take it.
I love it.
I welcome it.
Sweet, sweet agony of Robert Pattinson.
Hit me again, baby.
I can take it.

I'm going to stop now.
I'm like...
clenching my jaw looking at these pictures.
That can't be good.
Yeah... like staring at these pictures
is healthy?
I have to close my eyes...
and count to 10...
Deep breaths.
The only problem with that?
All I see when I close my eyes...
is Robert.

I'm doomed.

Bye for now.

Day 32- Kristen and Rob are Perfection

So tell me...
What the hell?
Robert looks phenomenal...
Of course he does!
As always...
It fucking HURTS to look at him.
And
He somehow manages to look sexier...
fucking more beautiful...
Than he did before.
How does he do that?
I'm starting to wonder if
Robert Pattinson
is indeed perfect.
Absolute.
Perfection.

Rob in Japan.
You gotta admit...
The man travels well.
He goes for hours and hours
on a plane...
and comes off looking like this??
I get in the car for 10 minutes
and I look like I was run over by the same car.
Or maybe a truck.

A big truck.
So that just takes us back
to the fact that
Robert Pattinson
really IS perfect.

Kristen in Brazil.
If we are going to talk about perfection here...
Let's talk about how beautiful
Kristen looks here.
I love how gorgeous she is...
The clothes?
Wonderful.
The hair?
I'm loving it.
The face?
Well...
What can you say about that beautiful face?
Its the theme of the day...
PERFECTION.

Bye For Now