Saturday's Sarcastic Soapbox

A different version of the New Moon poster

Couple of things...

I like Taylor Lautner.

I think he did a great job in New Moon.

I appreciate all the hard work

he did to keep the role of Jacob Black.

But.

We all know he's standing on a box here.

(we've seen the picture)

And I get that they want to make him 

appear taller and more menacing.

But.

Taylor isn't as tall as Robert.

Everyone knows that.

No, Taylor isn't stumpy like Shorty Spice

(Yes, Oregano)

But.

Let's face it...

He's no Robert Pattinson.

Remember these pictures?

Kristen's legs wrapped around Roberts.

PLENTY of room in that limo.

But the thing the haters focused on was

Kristen's face.

Her 'bitch' face.

Now, I know she has one.

I'm rather fond of it.

I'm wearing my bitch face right now...

But the haters are always whining about 

how Kristen is so mean to Rob.

She's always making faces...

or interrupting him when he talks.

I say this.

I do that to my husband

all the time.

I mean...

If you are close and intimate with someone...

You do this without even thinking.

DH says something stupid...

Or makes no sense? 

I interrupt him.

DH tells the same story again (and again)

Using the same old jokes and lines...

I make a face.

It happens when you are close to someone.

When you have heard it all.

When you are comfortable enough

to be openly honest.

I think it shows how well 

Kristen KNOWS Robert.

Robert walking.

Just had to.

I tell ya...

Remember Me has some of the best

pictures of Rob.

Anyway.

I just wanted to address

the hypocrisy 

that lives in ROBland.

I mean...

there is SO much

it makes you dizzy... 

I get that people want to drive 

their point of view home.

Well...

I don't really get it...

But I'm used to it.

But there is a certain hater site

which will remain nameless...

(but you know who you are

because you are probably reading this) 

who criticize and insult

people who lurk at their site

to see what they have to say.

They say these lurkers are cowards...

and losers...

Yet.

They constantly talk about going to other sites

and prowling around...

Now, lurking is one thing...

Everyone goes to other public sites

and reads without commenting...

But a PRIVATE site

run by someone that they 

publicly skew and attack

on a daily basis?

They go so far...

that they PRETEND to be

someone who is a fan of Kristen's

Someone who believes in Rob/Kristen as a couple... 

and ask to be a member of this site...

For the sole reason of knowing what this person

has to say about Rob and Kristen.

They make fun of this person's knowledge...

They act like it means nothing. 

Yet they are so insecure...

so bitter and paranoid...

That they lie about who they are

because they are afraid of what she is going to say.

So they fucking SPY on her.

Not only is that hypocrisy at its finest...

That's pathetic.

And if you feel I'm writing about you

and your forum/blog?

Well...

I guess I am.

You know my favorite saying...

If the shoe fits...

Slide that bitch on.

Bye for now.

Rob/Kristen/Emilie- Is 3 a Crowd?

So... It's been pretty bleak, lately.

Nothing substantial to talk about concerning Robert.

No blurry pictures to over analyze.

What's to do?

Well... I've been reading Gossip sites.

You know... like Ted C. over at E! online.

Lainey. Even Perez when I'm really bored.

Anyway.

Ted C. had this on "The Awful Truth"

'Will Kristen be forgotten in Rob's Remember Me?'

Interesting thought?

Or just another splash of gasoline

on an already raging Robsten debate?

Ted kinda brought up whether or not fans 

will be able to accept Rob with another woman.

Even if it's only a movie.

Sad to say...

There are a lot of people

People who claim to be fans of Roberts...

That will NOT see "Remember Me"

for just that reason.

I really don't get it.

Don't you want Rob to have an incredible

career in movies?

Every movie he makes can't have

Kristen starring opposite him.

Why would you want to limit Rob in that way?

He's an actor...

He pretends.

He ACTS

And if he's good at it...

You will think that he's crazy about Emilie

in this movie.

I want Robert to be good.

Personally...

I hope 'Remember Me' is a HUGE hit.

I want Robert to show the world that he's

more than a brooding vampire.

He's soulful... he's sexy...

He has emotions.

And yes I want him to have onscreen chemistry

with Emilie de Ravin.

It's OK.

It really is.

It's his JOB.

Besides...

That movie wrapped last August.

And whose company has Robert been in...

since the day he got back into L.A.?

Exactly.

Kristen Stewart.

Everywhere Rob goes...

So does Kristen.

Sooner or later.

Bye for now.

Robert and Kristen- Every Move You Make

Body Language.

I know it's been talked about a lot...

Back in October 2008

I wrote a post about 'Chemistry'

And how I thought Robert and Kristen...

were passing the class.

Now the haters will say it means nothing.

But that's because they don't want to believe

what is right in front of them.

Body language is natural... subtle...

You don't think about it

It just happens.

And when it is forced...

or being controlled...

You can read that, too.

This is where it all started for me.

The playful intimacy that Robert and Kristen

shared throughout the MTV interviews

is where I began to believe that they were

definitely more than friends.

Even close friends.

Remember when she picked something off

of the side of his mouth?

(Yummy!)

That is an incredibly intimate thing to do.

I have a lot of male friends...

that I have known for years...

And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be picking

stuff off of their mouths.

I would point at them

and say "Hey you got some shit on your face"

Closeness.

Intimacy.

I mean, they couldn't get closer to each other

without Kristen crawling into Rob's lap.

Back before the movie came out

They were less guarded, less wary...

and you saw a lot more of their

natural attraction to each other.

Their first MTV movie awards.

Still pretty relaxed.

The hype and frenzy hadn't really started yet.

She's really leaning into him.

They are comfortable being this close.

This picture shows a different feeling.

Separation all down their bodies...

Just a casual arm around the other...

What's different?

What's changed?

Oh yeah... Michael Oregano was there.

Kristen had a tendency to behave differently with Robert

When Michael was around.

The Empire Photo Shoot.

Kristen tried really hard not to get too close to Robert.

In a lot of the pictures...

she is kinda twitchy and nervous.

In the Behind-The-Scenes video...

She keeps looking off to the side...

It's like she is trying to show someone

That there isn't anything to worry about.

Yeah... Oregano was there.

And I guess he was right to worry.

;)

Ahh... This photoshoot is full of body language.

Yeah... I know people are all around them...

and a photographer is telling them to pose.

But the chemistry between Rob and Kristen

 was in full force.

Not only are they affectionate

but the way they interact with each other

was so relaxed and easy.

The video is even more convincing...

The body language doesn't lie.

They are on set... yes.

But this is between takes.

Rob has a hold of Kristen's shirt (pants?)

He's so close to her he's laughing

into her hair...

There is nothing fake or forced here.

It's just Kristen and Rob...

being Kristen and Rob.

I love this picture of Robert.

The huge smile on his face.

The huge smile on Camilla's.

But what does the body language say?

Two friends... walking down the street...

Enjoying each others company.

This walk is totally different.

And the body language is off the fucking charts.

Connected from the shoulders...

right down to the hands.

Walking as closely together as they can

I know I've said this before...

But this is an incredibly intimate picture.

And one of the few unguarded moments we 

have been able to look at.

Unfortunately

Robert and Kristen are under such intense scrutiny

that most pictures we get now

are forced and wary.

The natural affection and chemistry

rarely gets seen in public anymore.

Every move they make

Every step they take...

Someone is watching.

The closer they get in real life...

The farther apart they seem in public.

Bye for now.

*Guess what?

This post has nothing to do 

with you*

If Loving Rob is Wrong, I Don't Wanna Be Right.

This is what happens when there isn't any

new Robert news.

I think too much.

I'm sure by now you have all seen this little gif.

Honestly, it doesn't take much to put the

Rob/Kristen fandom into an uproar.

This was taken from some movie festival thingy...

Ah hell... does it really matter?

Someone posted it cuz it looked like Robert and Kristen.

And it DOES look like them, doesn't it?

Is it them?

Apparently not.

But the immediate deployment

of the Scrutinizing Squad

was positively hilarious.

I'm sure youtube was all a flurry...

with people searching out the video that clip 

was taken from.

"MUST PROVE THAT ISN'T ROB AND KRISTEN KISSING!"

Is it wrong to be so entertained by the lunacy?

How can something so amusing be wrong?

 

 Sweet Jesus.

I LOVE this picture.

Well, I love the guy in the picture...

so it only stands to reason.

It has a lot of my favorite things...

1. Rob is walking (Yeah, you know how that affects me)

2. Rob has sunglasses. (Yeah, you know how that affects me)

3. Rob is wearing the infamous Stoli shirt

(Yeah, you know how that affects me)

4. Robert is just... adorably beautiful.

5. Yeah, you know how that affects me.

 6. I guess everything about Robert affects me.

Go figure.

 

 This is one of the prettiest pictures I've

ever seen of Kristen.

Soft, natural beauty.

How can people look at that face...

and declare she is ugly?

How can people project their bitterness

and jealousy

(Oh I know... you're not jealous)

*Insert eyeroll here*

On to this beautiful, intelligent, 

strong, talented girl?

I will never understand it.

I'm guessing Robert will never 

understand it, either.

Since Kristen's face is the one

he has chosen to look at.

Up close and Personal...

Again and again.

;)

Bye for now.

*PSSST...

This blog isn't about you.*