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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Robsten Rorschach III


I'm bored.
That's never a good thing.

Oh sure...
We have Kristen looking phenomenal in Australia
We got a 14 second teaser from Breaking Dawn 2
(It still amazes me what they manage to squeeze into 14 seconds)

And let's not forget the picture of Rob in a bar.
This fandom exploded at that.
As usual.

Some saw Rob sitting at a bar with some friends...
Some saw Rob being a cheating manwhore
Some saw Rob being single!

Which brings me to this post.
A few years ago I did a "Robsten Rorschach" test.


You know...
You look at a picture and tell what you see.
And that is so fitting for this fandom.
Because everyone sees something different.

So let me introduce our players:

  Nasty Ninnie
(Yes... their brains are being sucked out of their nasty heads)

 Shaky Shipper
(Always waiting for the other shoe to drop)


  Bitter Berts
(Well, the name speaks for itself.)

 Abby Normal
(As normal as you can get with this fanbase)


Let's start with an easy one...


 Yes, Rob and Kristen are holding hands but... OH NO!
What if there is a crack in the pavement and they trip and fall
and their hands are torn apart! What will we do then??


 Please. There is NO hand holding.
They know the paps are there.
PR! PR! PR!
I can see Kristen flipping them off!!


 Rob is a cheating douche!
Why isn't he making more of an effort 
to hold her hand back?

 One of the sweetest pictures
      that kinda started it all. 
Rob looks so happy.
Kristen looks happy.




 Oh dear! Who is that girl right next to them?
Why is Rob so close to that girl?
Who is that girl? Why does she have to be there?


 PR! PR! PR!
Rob looks like he thinks KStew smells.
He's only getting close to her because it's loud
and he wants her to hear what he's saying.


 Rob is a famewhore!
He is using Kris to get attention!
He was probably there to see a dozen different girls.


 Awwwww.
One of my favorite pictures!
The smile on his face says it all.
If he were any closer they would be kissing...



 Is Kristen wearing her ring?
Where is her necklace?
Are they fighting? Is something wrong?
Why does Rob look so upset? WHY??


 Kristen looks horrible.
I think this picture was staged.
As usual they look miserable together.
Rob looks like he hates that shes touching him!
She's only trying to get his lighter from him.


 Is Rob drunk?
He looks thrilled to be with Kris.
He probably can't wait until she goes out of town again
so that he can go hit the bars.
Garrett would never do that.


 *Sigh*
I have a feeling that although this picture
wasn't meant to be seen by the public...
This is how Rob and Kristen are ALL the time.
Constantly touching.




 Who is Rob smiling at?
He better not be smiling at another girl!
Why aren't they just married already?
Did they just have a fight so Kristen is being nice to him?
Is she wearing her ring?? Is she??


 PR! PR! PR!
This is so staged!
They knew the paps were there.
Kristen is about to flip off someone!
Rob looks uncomfortable next to her.
Why is he in Paris anyway?
It MUST be work related.
It must be!


 Rob is a horrible boyfriend
He should have his arm around her!
Kris always has to do everything.
He's a douche and a wanker.
Where's Garrett?


 Robert flew to Paris
JUST to be with Kristen.
Look how happy he is!
He is exactly where he wants to be.




 Oh dear. Oh my.
Rob has signed on for 5 movies!
How are they ever going to be together again!
What if they don't do BD2 promo together?
Is she wearing her ring?
I wish they could just stay in this bubble forever.
What if it pops? Do bubbles pop?
What are we going to do if it pops?


 DAMAGE CONTROL!
Wait.
PR! PR! PR!
Wait.
Rob is SO drunk he would be all over anyone.
He has to be drunk to be with her.
It looks like he is just consoling her.
They NEVER kissed.
It's all smoke and mirrors!
EXIT STRATEGY!
Rob is just counting the days until he can
be away from HER forever!
They knew the cameras were there!
Shit.
I will never believe they are together!!
She's flipping someone off!


Why is Rob the one facing the camera?
Huh? He's a lousy boyfriend.
He's probably drunk off his ass. Again.
Kristen has to deal with so much.
Where is Garrett?
Who cares if he's dating someone else.
I want Garrett!!!

 These pictures will NEVER get old.
Rob and Kristen snuggling and kissing and hugging
and kissing and hugging and laughing and kissing
and hugging and snuggling and kissing ...
Never. Get. Old.


********************************************************************

So that concludes our Robsten Rorschach Test.

People see what they want to see.
Nothing is ever simple.
A Kiss is never just A Kiss.
It gets twisted and dissected
to fit an agenda.

But at the end of the day?
It really is just a KISS.
No agenda.
No motives.
Just two people in love.

Final thoughts?

1. I hope you giggled (at least a little bit)
at this post.
If you didn't... that's OK
It's not serious business.
But if you got annoyed at what I said...
Or thought I was talking about you?
Well.
I haven't used this saying in a while...
but
If the shoe fits
Slide that bitch on.



This post is brought to you by...


Who else?
Thomas Sturridge.

When he smiles... 
Angels sing.
Clouds part.
Suns shine.

And this post is also brought to you by 
my new favorite smiley.
This is for all the fools and idiots out there
who hate just for the sake of hating.



Until next time.

Bye for now

48 comments:

Crystal said...

Perfect! This sums up the craziness perfectly! Some people will never believe. Some people just like to cause trouble. I choose to be happy for Rob and Kristen. They are OBVIOUSLY happy, that's what matters.

fanny said...

LOL your post cracked me up! But it's exactly how some people act.

Dottie said...

I giggled... then shook my head that there are people who really believe those things.

I just got in from antique shopping and lunch w/a couple of friends. Now I just want to go jump in the pool and cool off!

Hope all of you are having a good day. Lots of love to all my pals. :)

Kay said...

I admit it, I giggled.....the fringes contine to be cringe worthy.

Take care and have a great day, everyone!! :D
<3

angelica1 said...

This made me laugh out loud. It's spot on!! I'm just glad to be in the right group in this instance :)

Hope everyone's having a good week so far.

Litmom said...

Ha Ha! Rose, I didn't just giggle, I laughed out loud. You are SO SPOT ON!

Loved the teaser (very much a tease!), and Kristen looked DDG in Sydney, as usual :-).

Dottie - I did a little antiquing myself today. Didn't find anything, tho.

Happy Tuesday to ALL!

Hope said...

Rose...

LOL....you are so funny and clever! Thanks for the laughs today!

Kristen looked beautiful at the premiere...loved her corset outfit...very chic!

Wishing everyone a wonderful day.

Anonymous said...

Rise this was hilarious! Thanks for the laughs. Those ninnies, Bert's and shaky shippers can always be counted on for the side splitting humor.

Anonymous said...

Oops I meant 'Rose' silly iPhone keyboard

Leni said...

You made me laugh out loud, Rose!
Thanks so much :)

That teaser was great and Kristen looked gorgeous in that Balmain number!

Have a great day/evening everybody :)

Sue from Holland said...

I love how your brain works and being able to put it in writing. Never a post where I'm not smirking, sniggering or just bursting out cracking up. Hope never to see the day you're gonna say "That's all folks".

katy said...

Hello everyone,

LOLing...excellent, Rose!!!! Indeed, this post describes PERFECTLY all sides of this fandom.

Loved the Breaking Dawn teaser...can`t wait for the whole trailer!!!

Kristen looked abolutely stunning! Love love the corset! The outfit fits her figure perfectly.

Take care everyone.

Melinda said...

Hope everyone is having a terrific Tuesday so far.

This post was a riot. God it's sad how spot on these reactions are from 3 different fractions of the fanbase. The last fraction (the happy sappy ones) are the best kind. At least we can get a laugh or two out of it.

Seeing some BD2 promo is getting me excited for November. Everything was great about the teaser trailer except for Aro's marching band outfit. What was that??

Kristen looked fantastic at the premiere. I liked that her outfit was two pieces, something different. Hair and makeup great. Shoes TO DIE FOR! Happiness on her face, which is always her best look. :)

Wishing her safe travels when she returns home to her boys.

Love and happiness to all the rest!

Birdie said...

"If the shoe fits
Slide that bitch on."
Rose,
I've missed this little quote of yours. It's all a matter of perspective,isn't it? Just want them to be happy.
Kristen continues to "wow" and looked fabulous today.

Rhonda said...

Thanks, Rose...I needed a good laugh today. Great post :D

Dottie- it's a heat wave here too. 90+ all week :(

Hi all- I hope it's been a great day <3

ali mac said...

Love it Rose, I wonder if people can actually see themselves in these descriptions or are they too deluded?

Kristen looked fab at the Oz premiere!! loved the two piece :0) she was glowing and healthy looking. I also though she seemed really relaxed in her interviews.

ali mac said...

*thought

Super RN Gas Passer said...

THIS IS A TEST OF THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SYSTEM!!!!!

Sources say that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were seen K I S S I N G!!!!!

Luckily, there were experts on hand to measure the distance of their bodies relative to said KISS ...AND the identification of the girl standing next to them is still being investigated!!!

IF YOU ARE A NONSTEN....Please be advised to report to the nearest FALLOUT SHELTER located in your vicinity

UPDATES will be released as they are made known to indicate that the ROBSTEN BUBBLE has been contained

I REPEAT....NONSTENS...GO TO YOUR LOCAL SHELTER IMMEDIATELY!!!!!

Again, THIS IS ONLY A TEST!!

:)

Anonymous said...

Dear Rose, I'm kinda proud to admit I'm an "abby-normal".

BTW
Love that name. Takes me back to Young Frankenstein and the wonderful Marty Feldman. One of my all time favorite movies!

Barbara Fenwick said...

Rose, thank you for the post...you gave me my first laugh of the day.
I love the way your mind works, you have a way with words...have you ever tried to write a book?

Some people worry all the time, some people will never believe they are together, and then there are the rest of us. We are just happy that they are happy, and hope it continues.

Kristen looked so beautiful at the premiere. She has really come into her own during these promotions.

Kelly said...

Oh Rose, I laughed so hard! You are always right on the money. I love your blog so much!

I hope you and everyone here had a good day today.

xoxo Kelly1918

Katia said...

I simply loved it!!! Never laughed so hard reading a post...lol lol lol...Congrats, sweetie, another masterpiece!

sfw10sis said...

I think I just wet myself, that was hilarious. Rose, I don't know if you remember me, I haven't posted in along time (big fan of yours and both Rob and Kristen as well) stepped away because of all the craziness, it was taking the fun out of it. Cannes has made it near impossible not to be drawn back. I even opened a twitter a few weeks ago (have yet to post anything) but I read a few sane people, you of course, Tulip, Emma (sad that she locked, but I understand) a few others. I just wanted to say that fans like yourself and the above mentioned are what being a fan is all about and you guys are part of the reason that silent fans like myself know the real Rob and Kristen and can enjoy being a fan of theirs. Thank you for that.

amara said...

This post is hilarious. Bravo, Rose. You made me giggle and cringe at the same time. It is funny yet sad that this is how some people think and behave.

I like to focus on the happy. And with Rob and Kristen's interviews, promo and new projects coming our way, there is plenty to be happy about.

Wishing everyone a great day.

Pamella said...

Great Post! Everything you said is so true which is really very sad.

Robsten ♥ Soulmates said...

This post cracked me up!! OMG so funny but sadly so true hahahaha LOVED IT!! Thanks for the good medicine :D

Anonymous said...

This post cracked me up!! OMG so funny but sadly so true hahahaha LOVED IT!! Thanks for the good medicine :D

Kenzz said...

A bored Rose is a hilarious Rose! This post goes down as one of your top ten! You really should write a book...

Annie said...

Good morning all!
I laughed so hard and cringed just as hard............
So very funny and yet so unbelievable that some people can write such nonsense and feel proud of it!

Summer heat is here.......we're in for a scorcher today tomorrow! Heat wave!

Hope it's cooler where you are.

Have a good day everybody!
-----------
Kristen looked gorgeous in Sydney.

benny said...

funniest post ever! I am totally laughing! I agree! you should really write a book.
cheers from a boling hot Italy
benedetta

MLH414 said...

Rose~

Great post...soo hilarious, soo true! Some people are cringe-worthy!

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their summer so far!! :)

~Lynn

sjjw said...

This might be your best and most spot on post EVER!!!! Hilarious. And since I find it hilarious, I guess that makes me SANE!! Yay...


Hello other sane folk out there. Long time no post. RL is kicking my butt, but today I am home, waiting on a sofa to be delivered. sigh. Waiting sux!!

Love to you all,

sj

DreamerKind said...

Good day!

Very, very funny Rose and I had many laughs while reading it! Spot on, as they say.

It's hot! It's summer! It's a trade-off! Mostly on the good side.

BBL.

DreamerKind said...

Oh, and love the new 1 minute BD2 teaser trailer that made my breath catch.

Litmom said...

Hey Roselanders (whenever I type that, I think of people dancing at Roseland in NY) -

LOVING the BD trailer! I said this elsewhere, but I have a feeling we're all going to be bowing down at the feet of Bill Condon AGAIN. So exciting!

Still chuckling at your post, Rose. The gang is right - you should write a book!

Question - I know many of us that frequent the board are indie film fans. None of my "RL friends" can really relate, so I thought I'd ask here...is anyone familiar with a film that was shown at Sundance and at Cannes called Beast of the Southern Wild? I JUST found out that MY DAUGHTER "knows" the director and is going to get to go to the premiere! (I put KNOWS in quotes because the director's best friend is a really good friend of my daughter and her husband - so she knows him, but is more connected to HIS friend - confused?).
If you've heard of it, let me know! it sounds good!

Hope all of you are doing well on this Wednesday. I've been busy prepping the house for my daughter's visit this weekend!

Annie said...

@Litmom:
I've seen the trailer for that movie at the cinema..........It's narrated by a young child after some sort of tragic event.
It previewed before The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel when I saw that movie some weeks ago.

Litmom said...

Looks pretty cool. I saw an interview with the director - none of the actors are "actors", and the child is much younger than he had planned to cast - but was so wise beyond her years and just perfect (sounds like comments re: Kristen when she was young).

DreamerKind said...

One can get so lost in living that time disappears. I like that.

Waiting for Kristen to get home, especially when she has been very far away. May flight time disappear, and the familar appear for her very soon.

Shout outs to Rose, Smitty, Gruff, Syd & Darlin', Regs, Lurkers and Newbies.

Watch me fly [ ] away.

Belladonna said...

This is a funny post; hilarious, really, and so imaginative!

Didn't Rob say somewhere very recently in an interview that he's tired of reading all the crazy theories and comments that arise whenever he's out with friends, both girls and guys?

I'm always surprised that people who are obviously not really fans of Rob or Kristen continue to take the time to post this shit....like: who is that woman? where is Kristen? why is he there with those people? how can he go anywhere without her!!!

This just supports my belief that these people do not have much of a real life themselves, experience with actual relationships, work and career, or just living a normal life in a grown up world.

just my morning two cents here,,,back to RL for me!

TwiHusband said...

Thanks Rose, that was seriously funny. As always, I have two reactions to those pictures and others like them.

The first is to smile, go "Awww", and listen to my old romantic heart go pitter pat.

To be closely followed by...

The second which is embarrassment at intruding on what were clearly private, unguarded, and tender moments between two kids we happen to love...a lot. We shouldn't be seeing those...but there they are anyway.

(sighs)

There are times when I feel like such a schmuck even *wanting* to know what goes on with them....but damn I can't help myself. (wry grin) I'm weak, I admit it.

Rick

PS...I tried to post this when I got up this morning, but my connection kept crapping out. I'm glad now that it did, because my second point is even more relevant in light of the day's pap activity. I swear to god, those assholes should be neutered to prevent them from breeding.

If I could, tonight, I'd apologize to the kids on behalf of the fandom. The paps chase them to feed US.

DreamerKind said...

My Belle Amie

Tee Set (1969):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQizJGH-Tx0

Ma belle amie
You were a child of the sun
And the sky and the deep blue sea

Ma belle amie
Apres tous les beaux jours
Je te dis merci merci

You were the answer
Of all my questions
Before we're through

I want to tell you
That I adore you
And always do

That you amaze me
By leaving me now
And start anew

Ma belle amie
I'm in love with you

Let the bells ring
Let the birds sing
Let's all give my substitute
A big cheer

Let the bells ring
Let the birds sing
For the man after him
Waits here

Ma belle
Amie
I'm in love
With you

Thank you/Bacmaster

DreamerKind said...

You Were On My Mind

We Five (1965):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYYhrWeCPjc

When I woke up this morning
You were on my mind
And you were on my mind

I got troubles, whoa-oh
I got worries, whoa-oh
I got wounds to bind

So I went to the corner
Just to ease my pains
Yeah, just to ease my pains

I got troubles, whoa-oh
I got worries, whoa-oh
I came home again

And I got a feelin'
Down in my shoes, said
Way down in my shoes

Yeah, I got to ramble, whoa-oh
I got to move on, whoa-oh
I got to walk away my blues

When I woke up
This morning
You were on my mind

Thank you/Nocaro

DreamerKind said...

The Sweetheart Tree

Bobby Darin (1966)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbJtsagZlXU

They say
There’s a tree in the forest
A tree that will give you a sign

Come along with me
To the sweetheart tree
Come and carve your name
Next to mine

They say if you kiss
The right sweetheart
The one you’ve been waiting for

Big blossoms of white
Will burst into sight
And your love
Will be true evermore

Evermore
Ever
More

Thank you/Nocaro

DreamerKind said...

Happy Friday!

Makin' Zzzz's :)

Annie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Litmom said...

Tried to post last night - it was on here for a bit, but disappeared. Must have traveled over to the SPAM side!

Anyway, NBD, nothing much - just agreed with Rick about the VILE, BOTTOMFEEDER PAPZ.

Happy Friday' y'all - getting ready for a visit from my daughter & SIL. They're flying in tonight! WooHoo!

DK - LOVE Bobby Darin, and La Belle AMie brings back lots of memories. Thanks!

DreamerKind said...

All's quiet on the mountaintop.

Happy Saturday!

@Litmom
Thanks, I agree, memories are great when they're good ones.

Back to climbing.

Super RN Gas Passer said...

Good Morning ROSELAND

ROSE. Tuesdays post is one of the top 10...maybe top 5 !!!!
I have read it several times this week...a CLASSIC! Thanks, I hope you have had a good week along with ALL the REGs, not-so-REGS and Newbies, Fly-bys, and last but not least...lurkers... .. .

TWIHUSBAND..I see you stopped by..I always enjoy your comments.

I loved the BD2 trailer!!!!

Have a good weekend Everybody!