I Don't Know How To Love Him

I am going away for a few days.

A place far far away from Robert.

No internet.

Do places like that still exist?

Apparently...

And we happen to own one of them.

Sometimes I think it's all a plot...

A plot.

Conspirators...making plans to get me away from Robert.

Trying to find other ways for me

to spend my time...

Not staring endlessly into the computer screen...

Lusting.

Drooling.

Wanting.

NEEDING.

Evildoers....

Scallywags.

Keeping me from my obsession.

Trying to open doors

into other parts of my life.

Forcing me

to think of other things.

Other people.

But my heart will not be denied.

My desire will not be satiated.

I love you

Robert Pattinson.

I can't stay away for long.

Bye for now♥

Sweet Surrender

So.

Robert in Japan.

Fuck.

Me.

Dead.

It just seems that every new fucking picture...

He is just more beautiful.

Do you have ANY idea

just how many of these bullshit pictures

I fucking saved on my computer?

I honestly believe that my circuits are close

to overload.

My heart starts pounding...

My breathing gets rapid...and shallow...

My stomach is in knots...

Yet...

I keep torturing myself.

I can't turn away...

Sweet Surrender.

I love you

Robert Pattinson.

God help me.

Bye for now♥

They Say It's Your Birthday...Killing Me Softly...

A few thoughts.

Yes, today is my fucking birthday.

I try not to dwell on it.

But then I get something like this

picture...in my email...

and I just have to fucking smile.

Trixie?

I hope you don't mind that I am

posting this pic...

I FUCKING LOVE IT.

And I fucking LOVE you.

Thank You♥

You have made my fucking day.

Outside of Robert...

I cannot think of anything

that I want for my birthday.

Isn't that sad?

And wanting Robert...

I'm not gonna get all

fucked up sexy and shit...

and talk about 'doing' him

or bullshit like that.

Not that I...

Well, let's not fucking go there...OK?

Wait.

I can think of something I want...

My sanity.

I think I have lost my mind

somewhere on this trip with

my Robsession.

Surely it's not right...

feeling this way about someone

that I don't even fucking know.

Will never know.

But, oh sweet Jesus...

How I do want to know him...

Anyfuckingway.

There has been a song...

that seems to go through my head...

A whole fucking lot.

It just is Robert to me...

Or maybe its how Robert

makes me feel.

So Happy Fucking Birthday.

Here are the lyrics...

that break my fucking black heart.

A lot of fucking today, yes?

It's that kind of day.

I heard he sang a good song

I heard he had a style

And so I came to see him and listen for awhile

And there he was this young boy

A stranger to my eyes...

Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly
With his song...

I felt all flushed with fever

Embarrassed by the crowd

I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud

I pray that he would finish

But he just kept right on...

Strumming my pain with his fingers

Singing my life with his words

Killing me softly with his song

Killing me softly with his song

Telling my whole life with his words

Killing me softly

With his song...

He sang as if he knew me

In all my dark despair

And then he looked right through me as if I was not there

And he just kept on singing,

Singing clear and strong...

Strumming my pain with his fingers

Singing my life with his words

Killing me softly with his song

Killing me softly with his song

Telling my whole life with his words

Killing me softly

With his song.

Bye for now♥

Pulp Fiction

There is a lot

of toxic talk

about some of the women

in Rob's life.

Is it deserved?

Possibly.

Is it jealousy?

No doubt.

First picture...

Camilla Belle.

I want to be her

in this picture.

I want Rob to

look at me...

and make me laugh.

And we can just

hang out...

go out to lunch...

talk on the phone.

Be good friends.

But Camilla gets

a lot of shit from

women...blah blah blah

She talks shit about Twilight.

Why is she hanging out with Rob...

Um...HELLO?

Wouldn't you fucking hang out with Rob

IF YOU FUCKING COULD?

I love how their relationship

makes Rob so god damn happy.

Every time you see a picture

of them together...

Rob has a goofy smile on his face.

That's a good thing.

He's so comfortable with her.

I'm glad she is in his life.

And here we go.

Kristen Stewart.

The girl has a bit

of a potty mouth.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

EVER.

That's a point

in her fucking favor

in my oh so humble

and fucked up opinion.

OK.

So she's not

the most media-savvy

chicklet out there.

She doesn't always

say and do

the right thing.

She is still

for some godforsaken

reason....

Going out with

Oregano...

STILL.

And now she is getting

all kinds of shit

for comments

Her fucking father made...

I'm not sure that's exactly fair.

I'm also not quite sure why I like her...

and why I feel the need to defend her.

She did a good job as Bella...

but she's not irreplaceable...

She did get Robert the job of Edward.

Big points in my book.

Robert quite obviously adores her.

And.

She quite obviously adores him.

She can't be ALL bad,

can she?

She's young...

She's determined...

And she speaks her mind.

Not bad qualities.

She will learn how to handle the media...

because she has to...

but people have to stop

comparing her to Rob.

Yes, he is easy going...

humble...and witty...

and he is a good interview.

She's not.

And sometimes...

being next to him...

must make her feel

so inadequate...

Yanno what I mean?

Shes fucking 18 years old.

Cut her some slack.

If you think about how much

she has accomplished already....

and what kind of career she has had...

She's done OK.

She will figure it out.

And you know what else?

I still like the thought of them together.

I've discussed this at length...

And it could be because

I've already wanted them together

in Twilight....

that having them together

in real life...is just an extension of that...

I doe no. (That's for Trix)

But I think they would balance each other out

quite nicely.

OK. I've rambled enough, haven't I?

And not really said anything.

Typical Rose.

And now I'm talking about myself

in the third person.

That's never a good thing.

Bye for now♥

Sore Thumb

Rob in Japan.

He looks happy, doesn't he?

I love when he smiles.

Cuz *I* smile.

Why is that?

Robert Pattinson

FUCKING

OWNS

ME.

Pretty simple, really.

Someone...somewhere...

mentioned that they were glad

that Rob was out of LA...

away from the paparazzi...

That he would find peace

in Japan.

He could 'hide out'.

Are you fucking KIDDING me?

Rob sticks out like the

proverbial sore thumb

(Robert's thumb...um...where was I?)

He fucking towers

over most of the people there...

And the Japanese fans...

aren't exactly known for

being relaxed and quiet...

But...

He is SMILING.

So I am SMILING.

And all is right

with the fucking world right now.

I love you, Robert Pattinson.

Bye for now♥

Desire Makes Me Weak...

He grinned his crooked smile at me,
stopping my breath and my heart.
I couldn’t imagine how an angel could be any more glorious.
There was nothing about him that could be improved upon.

Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 12, p.241


I really don't know what to say here.
He fucking blows me away.
Robert Pattinson has become Edward Cullen.
The messy bronze hair.
The pale skin.
The long, white fingers...
The penetrating eyes.
The dark, brooding stare.
The shy, crooked smile.

Robert looked absolutely beautiful at the Academy Awards last night.
Everything was perfection.
The only downside to last night was the amount of air time he got...
Not even a minute.
But every time the camera scanned the audience...
there I was looking for Robert.
A glimpse of his hair...
His delicious profile.
Watching him, look like Edward...sitting behind Mickey Rourke.
Mickey who? Is that who I was supposed to be looking at?
Sorry Mickey...The cameraman played that angle deliberately.
Robert is fucking gorgeous.
I'm so happy for him.
He did good.
And wasn't his accent stronger? He sounded more British..
Brilliant. Perfection.
I love you, Robert Pattinson.

Bye for now♥

Wild Thing...I Think You Move Me...

Wild thing...you make my heart sing...

You make everything

Groovy

I said wild thing...

Wild thing,

I think I love you

But I wanna know for sure

Come on, hold me tight

I LOVE YOU

Wild thing...you make my heart sing...

You make everything

Groovy

I said wild thing...

Wild thing,

I think you move me

But I wanna know for sure

So come on, hold me tight

YOU MOVE ME

Run, Rob, Run (Stay, Rob, Stay)

JFC.

Maybe you don't know what JFC stands for.

Maybe you do.

It just needs to be said.

I'm not really comfortable writing it out...

But JFC.

Look at him.

Goddammit.

I know the pic with the hood/hat is older...

but it captures what he is going through.

And the other pic...is him going to the Eye Doctor.

Yes, folks. I said Eye Doctor.

JFC.

I know I am as guilty as the next person

for looking at these damn pictures.

I so love the man...I so NEED to see him.

But it's fucking breaking my heart to see him so unhappy.

He's fucking MISERABLE.

Think.

How many recent pics of Robert...

is he actually smiling?

Let me help you with that.

Zero.

No smirk.

No sly grin.

Nothing.

Nada.

He looks fucking worn out.

And he's BACK from a vacation.

And he's already so burnt...

Why do I feel the need to protect him?

To shield him from evildoers?

To put myself inbetween him and anyone who

wants to put that sad, forlorn look on his face?

JFC.

And this is just the beginning, folks.

The Academy Awards, New Moon,

Little Ashes....

This is just the start

of all the Robert Pattinson hype.

Again.

It hurts my heart to see him like this.

I don't want him to lose that charm...

The openness...the honesty...

That he so easily shared with us before.

I hate to see him close himself off...

Grimacing...

Looking so tired...exhausted.

Fuck it to hell.

Just leave him alone.

Bye for now♥

He Fucking Owns Me

Well...there you have it. Rob is back in California.

He's back...and he is looking better (is that even FUCKING possible???) than ever.

I guess this means he will be presenting at the Oscars.

I guess this means that I will be watching and waiting to see him again...

to hear his voice...to see him fucking MOVE.

JFC.

GOD DAMN IT.

Fucking LOOK at him.

I can't even begi...

Why does he hav...

His hair is fucki...

Oh hell he's wearing those sungl...

Look at his legs in those je...

God damn I can't stop looking at hi...

What the fuck is wron....

Fuck me. Seriously.

FUCK ME.

He fucking OWNS me...

He does.

I'm all wilted and melted and whimpering...

HE FUCKING OWNS ME.

Bye for fucking now♥

Sometimes...

Sometimes...

It's all about Edward.

His bronze hair.

His golden eyes.

His velvet voice.

His crooked smile...

Love fucking hurts.

Sometimes...

Bye for now♥

Random Rose

1. I was 'away' from all that is Rob for a couple of days. And it was actually kinda nice to not think about him. Well, I did think about him. Of course. I mean..I am still the same obsessed lunatic I was a few day before. But I did go for extended periods of time without actually thinking about Rob. And of course we know that in my fucked up world...extended periods of time is anything over 5 minutes. But hey...I'm trying...OK?

B. I realized that my obsession has largely focused on Edward lately. I'm pretty sure it has to do with all the god damn fanfic that I've been reading lately. I can't fucking get enough of Edward. And theres so many versions of Edward out there. Your typical Vamp Edward (did I just fucking say typical in connection to Edward?), Dom Edward, Dark Edward, Spoiled Rich kid Edward, Deaf Edward, Sweet Edward, 3 way Edward...and the list goes on and on. Is there any question as to why my fucking dreams are always about Edward???

3. Hahahahahaha. Here I am trying to be all proud of myself for not thinking about Rob for a few minutes of my day...and instead seemed to have spiraled into Edward obsession. I tell ya, I fucking can't win for losing.

4. It seems that Rob's vacation is about to be over. You gotta take the bitter...with the sweet. I fear for his sanity if/when he goes to Japan...but if he is going with Kristen and Taylor...that will be good for him. Also...will Kristen and/or Rob be presenting at the Academy Awards? I honestly think there is a good chance that will happen. Presenting at the AA is PR heaven...especially in terms of "New Moon". They might as well get the publicity started...and what better place than the Academy Awards? Can you just picture Rob in a Tux? Do you think he would? At least a suit...and we all know what he looks like in a fucking suit....

5. Would you believe that I spend so much time on my Rob/Edward obsession...that I am letting other things in my life fall to the (no fucking shit) wayside? I have so many fucking shows on the DVR to watch...but I can't seem to fucking close my laptop...even for an hour. What the hell? And let's not even get into what else I am ignoring lately...

And that brings us back to my mantra for my life.

6. Can't fucking win for losing.

That is so me..

That's it.

That's me.

Over and out.

Bye for now♥

Happy Valentines Day.

♥ Happy Valentines Day♥

I will be out of town for the next couple of days...

So I had to post my Valentines post now.

Who is Robert thinking about today?

Whose phone number is he dialing?

Be happy, Robert.

♥Be My Valentine♥

This quote is for you.

I hope you find passion.

My Valentine Quote:

Love is passion. Obsession.

Someone you can't live without.

Someone you fall head over heels for.

Find someone you can love like crazy,

and will love you the same way back.

Listen to your heart.

No sense in life without this.

To make the journey without

falling deeply in love,

you haven't lived a life at all.

You have to try, because if you haven't tried,

then you haven't lived.

Bye for now♥

That's No Bullshit.

It's been a vastly shitty day.

All kinds of shit.

Bullshit.

Endless shit.

Incredible amounts of shit.

Did I mention...shitty?

I did?

Tough shit.

But then there is Rob...

Looking all...

Beautiful.

Just like Rob...

Perfection.

JFC.

Thank you, Robert.

Thank you.

Bye for now♥

Smile...though your heart is aching...

OK.

I was going to rant about the whole Parasite Hilton thing.

But really, why bother?

I have faith in Rob's intelligence.

The fear factor alone should keep him safe.

Let's talk instead about

Rob's laugh.

His smile.

It fucking breaks my heart.

Just like every other thing connected to him.

But his laugh.

How would it feel to make him react like that...

to something YOU said?

Rob is so real, so honest...

and there is no place that his honesty shines through most...

than his laugh.

It touches his whole beautiful face.

It shines through his eyes.

When Rob is laughing...

you know it's because he truly finds something funny...

There isn't anything fake about his smile.

There isn't anything false about

Robert Pattinson.

His laugh is perfection.

His smile is radiant.

Bye for now♥

Why does this song keep playing in my head??

Here you come again

Just when I've begun to get myself together

You waltz right in the door

Just like you done before

And wrap my heart 'round your little finger

Here you come again

Just when I'm about to make it work without you

You look into my eyes

And lie those pretty lies

And pretty soon I'm wonderin'

How I came to doubt you

All you gotta do

Is smile that smile

And there go all my defenses

Just leave it up to you

And in a little while

You're messin' up my mind

And fillin' up my senses

Here you come again

Lookin' better than a body

Has a right to

And shakin' me up so

That all I really know

Is here you come again

And here I go...

(Thanks to Dolly Parton)

Bye for now♥

Let me repeat myself...

déjà vu.

I'm feeling it.

Big time.

OK, I know I reacted a bit strongly to those pap pics.

I know it. I can admit it.

But...

Fuck if I would go onto another blog...

and fucking attack someone

for posting those pics.

WhatThe

FuckEver.

"Bear" with me

(get it? Care-Bear? OK, it's lame)

but when someone starts ranting and raving

about what Rob 'feels', and what Rob 'thinks'

When someone appoints themselves as

Rob's guardian angel and savior...

It just reeks of hypocrisy.

It "Bears" repeating...

(yeah, I know, I'm overdoing it...sue me)

HE'S NOT YOURS.

The only people you should be angry with

are the people who are in fact hounding and stalking

poor, sweet Robert.

Get mad at the paparazzi.

Get pissy with whoever buys those pics,

and puts them all the fuck over the internet.

Don't waste your anger on people who are fans of Robs...

and just want to see what he's doing...

How he's looking.

What he's wearing...

Who the fuck he is with

(oh man, let's NOT even go there right now)

Sweet, dear people like Goz and Dani...

who run a fantastic blog...

full of people who adore Robert Pattinson.

No one trashes him there.

And they don't post intrusive pictures...

So...

Back.

The.

Fuck.

Off.

You and people like you

are more invasive and scary

than some silly pictures of Rob walking on the street.

You are exactly the type of fan

that he talks about in interviews...

the kind that are completely CLUELESS

to how fucking frightening they really are.

Leave Rob alone.

Leave the Robkats alone.

And one more thing.

He's STILL Not Yours.

Silly Bitch.

Bye for now♥

JFC

OK.

I fucking HATE these pictures.

Why you ask?

JFC.

First...you see Rob being hounded by the paparazzi...

Second...you see Rob surrounded by some incredibly hideous women.

I mean...

What.
The.

Fuck?

Surely, if Rob is going to be 'out and about' with some broads...

He could at least find someone who is ATTRACTIVE?

UGH. The two "hags" (yes, I went there) who are following him around, in their fur coats...cackling and trying to block the cameras (yeah, bitches...like anyone wants your fucking picture!), with hair that Rob must be sooo proud of...all greasy and unkempt.

What. The. Fuck. Rob?????

They need your beanie more than you do!

I sincerely hope (Ok, maybe I don't hope) these are old, dear friends of yours...

cuz they are fucking annoying the living hell out of me.

And doesn't Robert looked absolutely THRILLED to be photographed?

Rob? Go back into hiding, Baby...Please.

Now you are wearing the shirt that TomStu was wearing the other night.

When was the last time that beanie saw any soap?

Why is that one chick touching you????

No...No...NO!!

And you all might just say I'm being all jealous. JealousY.

But it's so much more than that...

Because even though my heart might break some day

My mind knows that Rob will find someone and fall in love...

And I do want him to be happy...I really do...

Just not with these HORRIBLE women!!!

Ewww.

All kinds of wrong, my friends.

ALL KINDS OF WRONG.

Bye for now♥

pssst...Rob looks fucking awesome in the last pic...doesn't he?

Bastard.

A couple of things...

1. Well..there he fucking is. It's been a while, hasn't it? He looks...good.
He looks...fucking PERFECT.
His hair has grown out quite a bit in over a month...
not that I'm all that surprised..
Fuck.
LOOK at him.
Why does he affect me so?
Why?
And look at those bullshit bitches in the background.
Fuckers.
Idly chatting away...
With Robert Fucking Pattinson right the fuck there.
Um...Hello?
I would at least be fucking LOOKING at that face...
at least when he wasn't able to notice me staring...
and drooling...and wiping my face with someones shirt.
JFC.
He looks rested. And fucking BEAUTIFUL...

B. AngstGoddess has posted another chapter of Wide Awake.
This girl has serious talent. I mean...fucking GENIUS.
I've been discussing the latest chapters with my Twin♥ ...
and we kinda figured out that Edward was hallucinating...
and quite possibly having a nervous breakdown of sorts.
But it still broke my mother fucking bullshit heart.
I'm glad that Bella could stand up for herself...that she was strong...
and I'm glad that Edward didn't hurt her.
I love Edward.
I love Wide Awake.
I love AngstGoddess.
She is so fucking brilliant.
I hope she has a way of publishing her work...
because she deserves all the praise and awards that would come her way.
FUCKING BRILLIANT.


Bye for now♥