This is insane. Truly insane. I just watched the movie clip that they showed in Rome...for the upteenth time. And everytime, when it gets to the end with "Bella's Lullabye"...I feel like I'm about to cry. Yes, Robert Pattinson at the piano is beautiful beyond measure. And the song was wonderful. I guess knowing that he is actually playing the song in the movie...affected me. Big time. There was SO much Rob yesterday...and I tried like hell to take it all in. He was in Rome for a movie festival, so there was a press conference, a red carpet...and there I was watching it on choppy, frustrating video feed, hoping to get more glimpses of Robert. And then the "Empire Magazine Shoot"...OH MY GOD. That is one of my favorite videos thus far. Watching Robert stare at Kristen...watching Kristen steal a glance at Robert (and honestly, who can blame her for wanting to stare at him?). The sexual tension... the CHEMISTRY between them is so obvious. Yes, I saw Kristens BF get out of the car with her in Rome...but seriously...does he even stand a chance? Nope. After watching how Robert and Kristen interact with each other...looking for each other...watching for each other...feeling obvious comfort being next to each other...I say its only a matter of time. In almost every picture that they took together...she leaned into him. So intimate. Sometimes I forget how very young Kristen really is. She is only 18. But she seems mature beyond that...You can tell how uncomfortable doing interviews is for her, because she has a hard time verbalizing what she wants to say. She makes faces...stammers...looks to Rob...

Anyway. Yesterday was VERY emotional for me. Getting all teary eyed at a clip (and not a very good quality clip...but it will suffice for now)...gazing endlessly at Robert...It makes my stomach...hurt. This is ridiculous. This adoration I have for Robert (and yes, Edward. It's the truth, after all) is out of control.

I can only imagine what seeing the actual movie will do to me. I'm kinda scared how I will react.

Lord Help Me.

Chemistry

A picture of Rob from last night. Mother of God.

OK.

I wanted to talk about chemistry. As in on screen chemistry. As in Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. They have it. And better yet, they have it off screen as well. I think it is so obvious that there was a little sumthin sumthin going on between these two...beyond Edward and Bella. I have watched all the videos of the two of them...and they are just so INTIMATE with each other. The way they look at one another...the way Kristen touches Roberts face (and that, my friends, is intimate), the way they couldn't keep their eyes off of each other at Comic Con...their body language on and off screen. But especially off screen, because they are always touching...always close.

Now, I know that they are supposed to be dating other people or whatever. But there is definitely something there. I don't care what anyone says. And if they get right back into making "New Moon" (oh please Lord) they will get right back into their chemisty.

OK. I'm just looking at Rob's face again. Did I even suggest in a previous post that he wasn't as sexy as in previous pictures? Did I???? Well...I WAS WRONG. He's dead sexy. And I need a drink of water. Or a shot. What was that shot that someone (I think it was Jewels) was talking about in a post...ULTIMATE ORGASM. Yes. That's what I need right now. YES.

Rob Explosion

Good grief. Just when I think I have my addiction under control...the cravings are managable....

BOOM! POW! BANG!

Robert is everywhere.

A couple of more new 'trailers' have come out the last couple of days. But my absolute favorite...is the 'Theories" one from MSN. It's an actual scene from the movie, and not just voice overs and clips. How in the world did Robert figure out the 'velvet' voice of Edward? How? I mean...the opening scene...she drops the apple...he kicks it up into his hands (the Twilight cover shot) and says "Bella". That's all he says. Bella. And I melted into a puddle of goo. Kristen Stewart is a better actress than I ever knew, if she can be with him, kiss him...be THAT close to him all the time...and not just JUMP that boy.

ACK!

Robert also won some movie/actor award (sorry for not knowing the exact name...) and the pictures of him are a bit more subdued than recent past. His hair isn't as enormously sexy and huge as usual, and he even dressed up. Ok, he wore a suit...and it wasn't all wrinkled and it looked like it fit him...but lets face it, his hair was still a mess...and he wasn't even close to clean shaven. That's our Rob. He still looked beautiful, didn't he? Yes. Yes he did.

All I find myself doing is watching and rewatching the video clips...the interviews...because now I'm so damn anxious to see this damn movie. I can only imagine what will be coming at me in the weeks leading up to its release. I can take it...that much I am sure of...but it only seems to make me hunger even more for Robert/Edward. I keep forgetting to breathe...

Sunday morning rant.

Sometimes I wish I could just sit and stare at Robert Pattinson all day long. And listen to his voice. And watch him smile, or pull his fingers through his hair. But alas...it's hard to do when you have a 'so-called' life.

Anyway.

God. Just looking at this picture. It almost makes me cry. And that makes me feel so silly. Want to hear something else ridiculous? Every time...EVERY TIME I watch the movie trailer...and it come to the end where Edward is leaning into the car, looking at Bella...and says...

"You ARE my life now".

I tear up. I do. Robert says it with such passion...such conviction.

UGH.

I'm too old for this shit. I really am. And yet, I absolutely cannot get enough of Robert Pattinson. I am so bewildered by this obsession. It's mind boggling.

OK.

What I really wanted to talk about this morning was why I adore Robert Pattinson so much. I am trying to figure out this burning need to see him countless times a day....OK.

1. He's drop dead dreamy. That truly goes without saying, but sometimes you have to state the obvious first. I mean...the hair...the eyes...the jawline...the smile...the whole package. Oh yeah, and his voice. GOD his voice. I'm a sucker for British accents...but even Rob's voice with no accent is beyond measure.

2. He's not a pretty boy. Yes, he is gorgeous, but he doesn't TRY to be gorgeous. Well, he doesn't have to try. But he goes out in public with wrinkled, ill fitting clothes...sometimes more than a day at a time...and his hair isn't styled and his clothes aren't designer. He doesn't CARE. He doesn't shave most of the time and admits to not washing his hair. But who looks better than he does? NO ONE. He's all the more beautiful because its effortless, and because he stays true to himself.

3. His face. Again...goes without saying..but I'm talking about how his face shows his emotions, especially when he is acting. The clip from "Twilight" when he is in the bedroom with Bella...and he reaches for her...the pain...the struggle to be gentle...to touch her...is so evident on his face. He's going to be a great actor. I can't wait.

4. He's so down to earth. At least so far. He truly seems so surprised that people adore him. And yes...while much of the adoration is connected to the character of Edward...He still seems to want to please his fans. To make them happy by signing endless autographs...being available for Q&As. The bigger he gets, the more that might stop existing...and thats too bad.

5. Did I say how beautiful he is???

6. His smile...his laugh. He really seems like someone that would just be fun to hang out with. He seems like someone who could make you laugh while you share a few drinks...

7. Ok, I guess thats enough of a rant for today. Maybe. I may be back. :)

Good God. Robert Pattinson with sunglasses. Effin' dreamy beyond compare. I seriously need to take a deep breath, I feel like Bella and I stop breathing. Whew.

OK. On to other things. A commercial teaser for Twilight was posted last night. It's only 30 seconds long. Honestly, I have NO idea how many times I have watched that clip. It could add up to hours by now. Robert Pattinson speaks different lines in this clip...

"Get in the car". *THUD*

Yeah, its a little different than the book, because he gets out of the car here...but Robert Pattinson's voice is as perfect as the rest of him. It oozes sexuality.

"I feel very protective of you" *Double THUD*

Good Grief. His voice is velvet.

"You do this a lot?" OK, that is Kristen's line...but Roberts response? A heart breaking smile. Is it the crooked smile that Bella loves? It might be.

I have to close my eyes for a moment...take a deep breath...and compose myself. It's not easy. Seriously.

I am sooo anxious for "Twilight". It is actually stressful to wait for it. I want to see it so bad...but I know that just once will not be enough. And I know that my friends in my 'real' life will willingly go once for me...but more? No. I will probably end up going by myself the next couple of dozen times. Heh. I actually don't have a problem going to the movies by myself. I mean, seriously...sitting in a dark theater isn't really a social thing. I don't need anyone to be next to me to adore Robert. In fact, it might be less embarrassing if I were alone...all my groaning and moaning every time he speaks might give my obsession away! But having to wait for the movie is excruciating. Painful. And then...having to wait for the DVD...Oh man, I don't even want to think about that yet.

I feel like I am wishing my life away...in 30 second increments. And still? I really don't know WHY I am obsessing so MUCH for Robert Pattinson/Edward. I honestly don't know why this is different from other things that I have come across. I don't understand the catalyst here...making Robert Pattinson and Twilight a driving focus of my life. I guess that's another post for another time.

I do have a lot to say about this subject....so stay tuned.

Disclaimer of sorts.

Ok. A couple of things.

1. I know that noone reads this blog but me...but I feel the need to apologize if I have taken someones pictures. I mean no harm. I just decided to begin each post with a glorious picture of Robert Pattinson. Is that wrong? I didn't think so.

2. Look at this picture. He's obviously quite a bit younger here...and what is he doing? Running those long beautiful fingers through that sexy hair. It makes me wonder how long that has been a habit of his. It makes me wonder how his hair would feel between *my* fingers.

Robert...again.

I truly need to take a deep breath, here. After all the joking on RPL about this megaphone...this picture turns up with his one hand going through that glorious 'sex' hair...and the other holding...a...a...MEGAPHONE! Look at that face! He looks slightly embarassed to have to speak through it...and even with that strange form of amplication...his voice (that sexy British voice) is still soft spoken and to DIE FOR! I honestly cannot remember the last time I have ever OBSESSED over someone like this. I mean...yes, Robert Pattinson is beyond beautiful, sexy, PERFECTION. But why am I reacting so strongly? Is it the hair? The eyes? The Megaphone????

I honestly don't have an answer for this...except the connection to Edward Cullen. When I look at Robert, I see Edward. And I like seeing Edward. A lot. And I like looking at Robert. A lot. Good grief. I need help.

MEGAPHONE MEGAPHONE MEGAPHONE.

Help me.

Fan or Fanatic?

:::sigh::: He's so beautiful, isn't he? Another of my favorite pictures of "Edward/Rob". But enough swooning for the moment.

I'm worried about Robert Pattinson.

There were disturbing videos of him arriving in Mexico. The poor boy. People clamoring around him so that he couldn't move...screeching "Rob" over and over again. He was trying to be kind and patient...you could see him smile (although, there was fear in his beautiful eyes). The most painful part of the video was at the end. Rob saw freedom, and made a run for it. Run, Rob, RUN! (Stay, Rob, Stay).

I can say with much satisfaction that I am not THAT kind of fan. Yes, I adore him. Yes, I find him attractive beyond measure. But would I screech at him and push a camera in his face? No. I honestly believe that Robert is finding this sudden and overpowering fandom...bewildering. Before "Twilight" made any kind of headlines...he was just that guy who was in one of the Harry Potter movies. Ok, he was that dreamy guy in the Harry Potter movie. But nonetheless. The fact that Robert Pattinson is effin' GORGEOUS has been in the public eye since "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" was released. That was a HUGE movie, was it not? Robert's role was quite noticeable...yes? So why now is there so much 'hoopla' surrounding him?Simple. It's because he is now EDWARD. Stephenie Meyers has written a character so perfect, so beautiful, so easily obsessed over...that all of the love, adoration and lust...has been put onto Robert. Not that he doesn't deserve recognition. Not that I'm not thrilled for him and his soon to be bustling career. But Edward to Robert is what Jack to Leo DiCaprio was. GIGANTIC. LIFE CHANGING. Look at Leo now. LOOK. He's one of the most sought after and watched celebrities. He has his pick of movie roles and models (something I'm sure Robert already has...lol). Leo was positively DREAMY in "Titanic". Robert is positively DREAMY in "Twilight.

Robert now will never be the same after "Twilight" is released. He is about to be catapulted into the universe. I doubt he will be able to be so down to earth and acessible as he is now. People like the 'fans' in Mexico won't let him.

Robert needs to be protected. I don't want to watch him look scared and annoyed as people who don't know how to behave with another human being, chase him through airports.

I love Robert from afar. I know that is all it will ever be. That's good enough.

As for the "fan"atics? Take a deep breath and THINK about what you are doing.

Robert isn't really unbreakable, or strong and fast like a superhero.

He's human.

What if you're the bad guy?

Robert/Edward

And so the obsession continues. This is one of my favorite "Edward" pictures. It seems to be the true essence of what he is...how much he loves and wants to protect Bella.

I sometimes wish that I could stop the obsession for just a little while. When I finish one of the books (and although I have read through the series so many times I have lost count), it is always with pause that I begin the next. Trying to see how long I can actually go...before I must read Edwards words. My sons have noticed my obsession, and I must admit that it is a bit embarassing to have someone else notice what I am constantly reading ("Mom, you are going to read those books into dust"), or what I am always looking at online ("How many times can you watch that movie trailer??"). I honestly didn't believe that my behavior gave me away. That my obsession was so...visible.

I have 2 sons. They aren't into "Twilight"...they don't understand how beautiful Robert Pattinson is. They don't understand the perfection...that is Edward. Hell, I don't even understand it.

I do know that it helps me to write about it here. I do know that it helps to know that there are so many other ladies out there...married with children...who are going through their own form of obsession. Some are more obsessed than me (and truly..that IS scary to think about) and some (let's be honest here...most) are not. But it does help. It does help to know that I am not alone....at least not in this.

Robert Pattinson

Ok. I will admit to being a fairly new member of the Robsession that has swept through the land. I DID notice him in the Harry Potter film...I mean...who wouldn't? But his career has been under the radar until "Twilight". And now I have noticed.
I find myself scouring the internet for any and all news about him.
I find myself looking through endless photos and videos of him.
I watch the Twilight movie trailer numerous times a day.
I think in an interview, Rob admitted that the fans adoration had more to do with Edward Cullen than it had to do with him. And that is probably true in many ways. But now I am interested in his other movies. I long to see "How To Be", and the little I have seen makes me appreciate his acting ability. For he is a fine actor. His face shows so much emotion...
I watched the clip that was cut from "Vanity Fair" (I think that was the title...with Reese Witherspoon) and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him. I watched his performance in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, and his face again...does much of his acting.
And what a face.
So beautiful. So glorious. Perfection.
I enjoy seeing all the pictures of him online...I look forward to seeing all the upcoming interviews and pictures to come. But as much as I am crushing on Robert Pattinson...my initial feeling for him...is maternal in nature. I want to protect him. I want to take care of him.
I don't want people to hurt him. As much as I love the fact that he will be more visible, in more movies...I worry that also makes him a target for those who want to cut him down.
Robert Pattinson seems like a down to earth kinda guy. He doesn't seem to take himself too seriously. He seems genuine and nice. I hope he stays that way.
He is such perfection. Please take care of yourself, Robert.

My world through "Rose" colored glasses

Edward.

Obsession is a scary thing. It's not something that I understand completely, although I seem to be in the habit of doing it.

It started with "Twilight". I am a voracious reader. So when I innocently stumbled upon an article talking about the many charms of this novel, I had to give it a try.

I haven't stopped.

I keep reading Twilight (with Midnight Sun), New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, back to back...over and over again. I cannot even tell you how many times I have read them. It is just a continuous Edward fix to me. Because it IS Edward that I am most obsessed with.

I want to read his thoughts...his words...I want to close my eyes and picture his perfect crooked smile. I can't stop myself.

So that brings me to Robert Pattinson. I truly didn't recognize his name right away...but when they said he was Cedric in "Harry Potter"...It completely clicked for me. Cedric. Yes...Cedric.

I remember watching him stand next to Harry Potter in the movie...and thinking..."They really shouldn't have Daniel Radcliffe stand so close to that amazingly beautiful boy". He paled in comparison to Rob. Everyone does. But I wasn't so sure if he could be *my* Edward. Was it possible? Pictures started coming out...and then the teaser trailers. YES. He IS Edward.

That face. Those eyes. THAT HAIR. That jawline. Everything about him screamed Edward at me. I could finally look upon all the glory of Edward Cullen...in the flesh. And so the obsession was fed...

I'm not sure where this ends for me, if that is even possible at this point. I am praying that Stephenie Meyers puts out Midnight Sun...in fact, I am praying that she puts out all the books from Edwards point of view. I obviously cannot get enough of him...I am never satisfied...

I can only hope that the movie, which is still a month away (has time really slowed so much?)can take away some of the hunger for Edward. I will probably see it much more than once in the theaters...and then I will wait patiently until it is released on DVD. I am always waiting for Edward. But I can't stop myself, I couldn't even if I wanted to.