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Thursday, April 9, 2009

The Funny Farm, Where Life is Beautiful ALL the Time.

"They're coming to take me away,
Haha, they're coming to take me away,
Ho ho, he he, ha ha,
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I'll be happy to see
Those nice young men
In their clean white coats
And they're coming to take me AWAY,

~Xiv Napoleon

April 9, 2009

From the desk of:

Dr. Carlisle Cullen

To whom it may concern:

It is with much regret and my most sincere remorse that I am writing to you with such sad news.

Rose C***** was brought into the hospital's psychiatric ward last evening.

She was hallucinating and rambling about 'fucking bullshit' pictures.

She kept talking to someone named "Trixie" and "Rob".

We couldn't make out most of what she said, because she was screeching and screaming...

But "It's not fair!" was repeated many times, along with

"This is what they consider OUTTAKES???"

"Fucking LOOK at him!!!"

and the most frequently heard...

"Fuck. Me. Dead."

Rose's husband was at a loss as to what she was going on about, so he felt the need to bring her to the hospital to protect her from herself and in hopes we could figure out what was wrong. At this time we have no idea what pictures Rose is referring to, nor do we know why she has reacted so strongly.

The only clue we have is the ongoing conversations she is having with this "Trixie", and the constant muttering of the name "Rob".

Needless to say, we are very concerned with Rose's mental health and well being. We hope to be able to help her get better, but for now, she is happily chatting away in her padded room.

If there is any information that you might deem important, please don't hesitate to pass it along to the "Loony Toons Mental Facility" at loonytoons.org.

Thank you for you attention and patience and please send out positive thoughts to Rose.

She will need all the help she can get.

Thanks again.

Yours in faith.

Dr. Cullen


Ellie said...


(okay, I'm pissing in my pants, here...)

Tess said...

Rose Rose Rose..
You are not alone... :) (humming)

Trixie said...

Dear Dr. Cullen,

In response to your letter dated April 9, 2009, I may have some information that will assist you.

A patient named "Trixie" was admitted to our psychiatric facility just last week. As with your "Rose", Trixie was mumbling incoherently and exhibiting symptoms of general psychosis. She was shouting letter groupings such as "JFC", "JFKMN" and "FMD"; we have yet to determine the significance of these phrasings. Additionally, she has been saying she needs her "Rose Dose" and is seen making movements with her fingers that mimic typing on a keyboard. Trixie has communicated sporadically in short phrases; however, she ends these phrases with "dot com", "dot org" or "dot net". These phrases tend to be combined with reference to a particular "He" who has yet to be identified (i.e. "WhyIsHeSoBeautiful.org").

Please call me at your earliest convenience to discuss this matter further.

Dr. Yak