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Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Oregano Spice and Everything Nice.

First I want you to take a GOOD look at the above picture.
It's not hard to do.
But stare at it awhile...
Let the image burn into your brain...
Take a deep breath...
And let us begin...

Here we have Kristen, Nikki (of course) and Michael Oregano...
Or whatever the hell his name is.
I'm surprised at a couple of things in this picture.
1. If Oregano put on a beanie and grew about 2 feet...
He might actually kinda...sorta...
pass for Rob's little brother.
Sunglasses. Scruff. Black jeans. Flannel check shirt....
He's such a Rob wannabe.
Please give it up.
There is one...and ONLY one
Robert Pattinson...
and you, my little condiment...don't measure up.
2. The rumors about Rob and Nikki dating.
No. Just No.
I feel like the stuttering Bella in the hospital.
I can't fucking get the words out.
Are you serious? What are you saying? You can't...
Please people.
I do believe Rob and Nikki are good friends...
and believe it or not...
I don't hate Nikki Reed.
She's very pretty...and seems very sweet.
But she's not for Rob.
I don't understand why Rob can't just hang out
with someone (that he has hung out with before...btw)
without it going to 'dating', 'fucking'
'having babies with' (hahaha Goz...you got me!)
3. Oregano doesn't look happy.
Oregano is all spicY.
Oregano must be sick of having to deal with
the beauty of Robert Pattinson.
Get over it.
And finally we come to this.
Kristen was quoted in USA Today...
as follows:

"It doesn't make my relationship harder.
It's not like, 'Maybe I should be with (Pattinson)
to make them happy and it'll make me more popular!' "
Stewart laughs, adding that her real boyfriend
"is totally not a threatened guy.
But, dude, it sucks."

Oregano...that spicy shit...
has no reason to be threatened by
Robert Pattinson.
Of course not.
Why would he be in any way insecure
about himself when compared to Rob?
Rob-Gorgeous...Oregano-Average (in a slightly goofy way)
Rob-Really famous and sought after...Oregano- Who?
I could go on...
but it's painful for even me.
I'm embarrassed by it.
"Dude, it sucks"
I'm sure Oregano says that
ALL the fucking time.

P.S. Yes...if you haven't already noticed...
I'm one of those people
who would prefer to see Kristen and Rob together.
Go figure.

Bye for Now


Ellie said...

LMAO, Rose!
"my little condiment"...

Yeah, he's not threatened.
And I'm carrying Rob's baby.

Just sayin'...

Another good one, Rose!


Anonymous said...

Love it Rose...so articulate as always!

"Oregano stumpy"...hahhahahah

Tess said...

very funny post Rose...this one tried to sneak by me..

Oh, and that picture of Kstew gazing at Rob in Tokyo... If you look at the angle of her head, she (almost) looks like she's looking at someone behind Rob.., yeah.. that's it!