Maybe it's because I try not to
obsess over Robert so much...
It is kinda hard to keep myself in check
with the husband always lurking nearby.
If he ONLY knew...
I was cleaning out some closets over the weekend...
(See what I have to do to think of anything but Rob?)
And I came across a
Magic 8 Ball.
Remember those things?
I'm sure you do...
Everyone plus my dog used to play with one.
I remember asking it in vain
if my Boyfriend of the moment...
truly loved me...
and it would invariably come back...
"Reply hazy, try again."
So I thought I would shake up the little orb...
and see how it would answer
the burning Rob questions on my mind.
Oh Magic 8 Ball...
(I would tell you to close your eyes here and concentrate
hard...but then you wouldn't fucking be able to read this...
and that kinda defeats the whole purpose...yes?)
Oh Magic 8 Ball...
Answer me true...
1. Does Rob love Kristen?
"As I see it, Yes."
2. Is Rob dating/doing Nikki?
"Outlook not so good"
Fuck pictures of her
standing next to his car!)
3. Does Rob read his fansites/blogs?
"Better not tell you now"
(It would be cool if he read ROBsessed.)
4. Does Rob smell?
"My sources say No"
(We all know Rob smells like cigarettes, Axe, and leather)
5. Does Rob give a shit about Oregano?
"Don't count on it."
6. Will Rob ever put out a CD of his music?
"You may rely on it."
7. Does Rob know about the RobKats?
"Without a doubt"
(This could be scary.)
8. Does Rob think Pocket Edward is cool?
"Ask again, later"
(I wonder what it's like to have a doll that looks like you?)
9. Will Pocket Edward ever come out of hiding?
"Cannot predict now"
(Shit...I really miss PE.)
10. Will Rob fall madly in love with Rose,
run away with her...
...and live happily ever after?
"Signs point to YES."
(I fucking KNEW it...
and we all know that
the Magic 8 Ball
is NEVER fucking wrong!)
The undeniable truth
that is the Magic 8 Ball.
I plan on pulling out this beautiful globe
from time to time...
and ask it the burning questions
everyone wants to know!
One last question...
Does Rose love Robert Pattinson?
"It is decidedly so"
And so it goes.
Bye for now ♥