I Should Hate Robert Pattinson

There was nothing special about this place without him.

I wasn’t exactly sure what I’d hoped to feel here,

but the meadow was empty of atmosphere,

empty of everything,

just like everywhere else.

Just like my nightmares.

Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 10, p.234

I have typed and deleted

what I have been feeling

4 times now.

Nothing is coming out right.

Nothing seems to make sense.

I should hate Robert Pattinson.

Hate him for having this control over me.

Hate him for making every other man in my life...

pale in comparison.

Hate him for making me sit with my laptop

for hours on end...

Searching out new pictures

and videos...

Any tidbit of information...

I should hate him for making

me feel ashamed of my ROBsession...

For making me hide my true feelings

about him

I should hate him

for becoming Edward Cullen...

so perfectly.

I should hate him for always

looking so damn beautiful...

For always making me smile...

For always making my stomach flip...

and my heart race.

But most of all...

I should hate Robert Pattinson...

because I love him.

And I do.

I hate loving him.

Bye for now ♥