You Better Hold On Tight, SpiderMonkey!

I've purposely stayed away from

discussing this

fucking bullshit

DVD.

Why?

Well...how about everyone

in the fucking universe has gotten theirs

before me?

I mean, seriously...

What.

The.

Fuck.

Is that about?

Is this some sort of punishment

for lusting after a 22 year old?

Is this because I said I would trample

over my husband

to get to Rob?

(and for the record...I still fucking would)

(and no, I don't feel a shred of guilt about it)

(is that wrong?)

I actually didn't mind not having the DVD

over the weekend...

with my easily discarded husband

always lurking nearby...

I wouldn't have been able to enjoy

the movie and extras

the way I would have wanted to.

But now...

I'm fucking READY.

OK?

It will be so nice to watch the movie

with color...and clarity...

and dialogue that matches

the movement of their mouths...

and no little "A" in the corner...

(you KNOW what I'm fucking talking about)

(and if you don't...you aren't a true Twilight lunatic)

Ah yes...

To see Robert...

UP CLOSE...

and

OUT LOUD.

I have high hopes...

The mail hasn't come yet...

or maybe I am just pretending...

because my fragile mind

couldn't possibly comprehend

having to wait another

fucking minute

for this DVD.

I want my Robert.

and I want him now.

Bye for now (insert little red heart here)

OK.

You are NEVER

gonna fucking believe this...

but as I was typing faithfully away...

spilling my guts out...

The mail came....

AND I got a package from UPS.

WOOfuckingHOO!

I have gone from not having the DVD

to having 2 of them

in a matter of minutes!

If my grizzled black heart could

feel joy...

I'm sure it would be

erratically pumping away.

And one of them

is the TARGET one...

which we all know

is the BEST one.

OK.

Enough talk.

I need to get some watching in...

before

my DH

(oh yeah...some people say that

DH stands for Dear Husband...

Well...folks...

*MY* DH stands for

DICK HEAD.)

Which at this point...

I'm sure doesn't surprise you at all.

Again.

Bye for now.

And no heart.

Cuz I just wanna go.