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Saturday, May 2, 2009

A Day In The Life

It's Saturday afternoon.
I finally finish cleaning the house
that is so neglected because of my ROBsession
I sit down on the recliner.
I recline.
I pull my laptop... well... on my lap.
I open it.

Here's how it goes.

Rose (mumbling to herself): Ahh...finally a chance to relax and get caught up in all things Rob.

10 seconds later.

Son #1: Nice desktop, Mom...sheesh.

OK. My desktop is a variety of pictures... of Robert Pattinson. Of course.

I don't respond... I just shrug.

10 seconds later.

Son #2: Mom. Really. You are worrying me.

Again. I try to ignore the obvious attempt to irritate me.

10 seconds later. The phone rings. It's my Mother-In-Law.

45 agonizing minutes later.

Husband comes to stand behind me...acting like he's looking at a spot on the floor or something.

But I know he is just trying to see what I am doing on the computer.

10 seconds later.

Son #1: Mom? Can you pull yourself away from that hideous guy for one minute and help me with _______ ?

It doesn't matter with what... I try to ignore him. Again, he is trying to goad me into a response.

10 seconds later.

Son #2: Hey Mom? The Twilight movie sucks. Seriously. Only young teens and stuff are supposed to like that kinda lame stuff.

10 seconds later.

Husband comes to stand behind me again. He will continue to do this every 30 seconds or so.

Until I finally lose my mind...

Rose: Is there something I can help you with?

Husband: What is your fascination with Vampires? Don't tell me you're not obsessed with Vampires!

Rose: (Heavy Sigh) Yes, Dear. I'm obsessed with Vampires. I'm sorry. You know I've always been a night person. You're right as usual.

10 seconds later.

The phone rings again. My sister.

30 mind numbing minutes later.

Son #1: Mom. I'm going to Adams house. And Mom? That guy is really ugly. REALLY ugly. He looks like a caveman. See ya later.

10 seconds later.

Son #2: OK, Mom. I'm going over to Dave's house. Sheesh, Mom... That Pattinson guy is trying too hard to be all brooding and vampire like. Look at the way he poses! Mom? You DO know how old he is... right? Sheesh. You scare me, Mom. Bye.

10 seconds later.

Husband goes and sits on the couch... and turns on the TV. He must be hard of hearing because it's so loud I can't concentrate on what I am doing. Which I'm sure... is the point.

10 seconds later.

I give up.

Rose: You win. I'm done for now. Happy?

Husband: What do you mean? I'm just watching some baseball! (he smirks)

10 seconds later.

I close my laptop. I got to spend about 2 minutes total with Rob.

And that's being rather generous.

This is my day.

This is my life.

Bye for now


Trixie said...



<3 YOU!!!!

Tess said...

Whaat? You mean it just a vampire thing? *snort*

Two fucking minutes is not enough Rose *shaking head* How are you supposed to function on only two fucking minutes?

Great Post


Anonymous said...

Ahaha! Yes, dear, it's the vampires. LOL

Ana Paula Oliveira Silva said...
This comment has been removed by the author.