Dream Weaver

Do you want me to sing to you?

I’ll sing all night

if it will keep the bad dreams away.

Edward Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 6, p.105

I wasn't going to post today...

But the MTV Movie Awards are on tonight..

And I am certain that I will be a hot mess

after watching Rob and Kristen...

Seeing the NEW MOON trailer...

So I'm not sure if I will

be coherent and in any shape to post tomorrow.

There is only so much torture

one human can endure.

I've been dreaming a lot lately.

Every once in a while

Rob sneaks in there...

But in my Rob dreams

We sit and talk

And he smiles at me.

He always smiles at me.

But the dreams I've been having lately...

are a bit more disturbing.

(like my complete and utter obsession with Rob ISN'T)

The dreams are varied in some ways...

but all have the same basic theme running through them.

I'm back in high school...

but I can't find my class...

I'm in a shopping mall...

but I can't seem to find my way out...

I'm in a parking lot..

And my car just can't be found.

See what I mean?

What the fuck am I looking for?

Searching...

endlessly searching.

Obviously there is something missing in my life...

Something that I am constantly looking for.

Something that I don't have...

that is eluding me...

That I desperately want to find.

Hmmm.

What could that be?

WHO could that be?

Rob has no doubt infiltrated every fiber

of my being.

I cannot escape the angst...

even in sleep.

You fucking own me, Rob.

Bye for now ♥

15 Seconds To Forever...

15 seconds.

That's all it is.

And I can't stop watching it.

Watching Edward...

trying so hard to distance himself

from Bella.

15 fucking seconds.

And she says..

I LOVE YOU.

Finally.

We get to hear it.

After seeing the pictures

where Bella rushes to Edward...

and pushes him back ...

out of the sun...

And now this?

I have high hopes

for NEW MOON.

15 seconds.

Multiply that by...

infinity.

I can't stop watching it.

Just to see Rob...

immerse himself so deeply

into Edward.

It makes me so emotional.

What is WRONG with me?

15 seconds

And I'm a fucking loony toon.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

It's Wabbit season, and I'm hunting wabbits,

so be vewy, vewy quiet!

Bye for now ♥

Since I Saw Him Standing There...

I'm not sure how I got through yesterday.

And I'm 100% serious.

Getting bombarded with all these pictures...

Rob looking so beautiful...

Actually getting to see Edward/Bella come to life.

I was consumed by the images.

Shattered.

Of course, a lot of people

had a lot to say about these pictures.

Unfortunately, once again...

Relegating Rob into something that

you gnaw and chew on...

But that's another post...

for another time.

I would rather focus on the pictures.

So many glorious pictures...

Rob and Kristen looking gorgeous

in every one.

But the one that moved me the most?

The one I put in this post.

It's SO Edward and Bella to me.

He's holding her so tightly...

His arms pressing into her.

His face nuzzled in her neck...

She is wrapped around him...

*sigh*

So yeah...

Rob Pattinson is sexy hot...

He had his shirt off and looked

Phenomenal.

But he was a whole lot more...

He was Edward.

Bye for now ♥

Robert Pattinson Shirtless Is Edward Cullen Perfection...

I finally have seen one of my favorite scenes from New Moon...

brought to life.

Robert Pattinson has taken off his shirt...

and lo and behold... he has an 8 pack.

Yes. He looks incredibly sexy... incredibly Edward.

Robert has been working out... and it has paid off handsomely.

PERFECTION.

I don't know what else I can possibly say here.

I'm so totally in love with Robert Pattinson.

I thought that the pictures from Cannes would kill me?

Now I know what sweet death is really like.

I'm fucking gone.

"I've had all I can stands... and I can't stands no more."

I love you, Robert.

Always and Forever.

Kristen Minus Oregano = Robert

This is a kind of follow up to yesterdays post.

I truly didn't mean to ruffle any feathers.

I was just giving my thoughts...

with a little sarcasm thrown in.

But I want to go into the

+/-

of what I was thinking.

+ Rob looks absolutely gorgeous as always.

That is always a plus.

No minus... no negative.

Beautiful.

Always a good place to start... Yes?

Plus + OK... I don't know Michael Angarano

(see? I even spelled his name right!)

He might be a great guy...

He might be all kinds of wit and charm.

I don't have a clue...

but neither do you.

Minus- He's still short and stumpy.

Minus- He still has a goofy little face

and silly voice.

Plus+ He hasn't been around Kristen much lately.

Missed her birthday. (I think that's a huge deal)

Not doing his usual lurking thing.

Minus- Someone said that Kristen has said she

is dating Oregano (oh shut up, its funny)

But when was the last time she said that?

The end of 2008?

Some point out that she is holding his hand

in this picture...

But she was also seen holding Taylor Lautners hand...

and Jacksons hand...

I'm just calling it like I see it.

Oh... and Nikki Reed.

Honestly.

I think she's very pretty...

She always comes across very sweet in interviews...

But she needs to find her own way.

Glomming onto famous friends?

Minus ---------

Plus++ I love this picture.

A picture taken when neither one of them

knew it was being taken.

Again... I was reminded that

the chemistry shared between

Robert and Kristen has died down...

That its not the same as when they

were making Twilight.

And I say this.

While Kristen and Robert were making Twilight...

They were 2 goofy kids

Enjoying themselves... getting to know each other...

And in interview after interview...

It was obvious how attracted they were

to each other... and how intimate they had become.

OFF SCREEN.

They were having fun.

They aren't allowed the same freedom now.

They can't be themselves because they are always

being photographed and analyzed...

But once in a while...

in a picture like the one above...

You can still see it.

Plus +++++++++

Bottom line?

50% of what I say about Rob and Kristen...

is obnoxious sarcasm.

Why?

Because it always seem to stir the shit.

And I always find that amusing on many levels.

I'm a brat... what else can I say?

But a part of me also likes seeing

Rob and Kristen together.

Like in the picture...

BIG HAPPY SMILES.

++++++++ Pluses all around!

Whether Rob and Kristen

are 'together' or not doesn't really concern me...

I still think they have a real connection.

I still think there is a real sexual chemistry.

I still think they make each other happy.

And as I have said before...

and will no doubt say again and again...

I like seeing Rob happy!

++++++++++ PLUS!!!

So... while people might read this and think

I am just seeing what I want to see...

projecting my wants and desires onto

Rob and Kristen...

I feel that those same people

are believing what they want to believe.

It works both ways, doesn't it?

I can't help that MY way is the RIGHT way!

HAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry.

1. Rob and Kristen share something.

Something intimate.

2. Nikki and Oregano should hook up.

They make a cute couple.

Well... as cute as they can....

heh.

3. I don't apologize for being a smart ass...

It's better than being a dumb ass.

4. People need to calm down when it comes

to Roberts love life.

OBVIOUSLY

None of us know the truth...

We just like to gossip and speculate.

Some people let it consume them...

and some people get so upset

with the gossip sites...

WHY?

Who cares what Laimey says... Or this Ted guy?

They don't know any more

than anyone else.

Unless I see and hear the words

come out of

Rob's mouth (now THAT'S a picture!)

I will take everything else with a grain of salt...

And have a nice giggle or two.

Isn't it fun?

It should be.

Bye for now ♥

About Three Things I Was Absolutely Positive...

So I've been thinking about stuff...

and I thought if I wrote it down it might help me.

Do I really believe that? Not really.

But it seems like a 'sane' thing to say.

Self analyzing and all that bullshit.

Honestly, I've been writing this blog

since September of last year...

Do I SEEM any more in control of my emotions?

Is there even a glimmer of rational thought?

Didn't think so.

At least I'm still present enough to realize

how fucking far gone I really am.

Anyway. Some thoughts.

1. Robert Pattinson truly owns me.

He might as well have a collar around my neck...

(oooh... so Domward)

2. I'm so in favor of Rob/Kristen hook-up.

Seriously, this is something else that I have thought about.

I don't get all caught up in the intimate details

(I do have feelings, you know)

And I know I have discussed this before...

But there is something so real between them.

The body language... the way they look at each other...

The smiles on their faces when they are together.

They are so intimate with each other...

An intimacy that 'friends' don't share.

Now, maybe I'm OK with this because

of the whole "Twilight" thing...

Transferring my love of Edward/Bella

to Rob/Kristen...

And that's very possible.

But there is no denying the attraction

between them.

People can argue and rant and rave

all they fucking want.

But you can't dispute what is right in front of you...

You all can see it... You know you can.

3. Michael Arag...Arangano...

Ah fuck it.

Oregano.

There was a video of a bunch of people

kinda making fun of Catherine Hardwickes

'behind the scenes' stuff in Twilight.

So we have Nikki Reed and Oregano

hamming it up for the camera.

OK. (And why aren't these 2 knuckleheads together?)

Nikki was downright annoying...

squealing and chirping...

And why do I feel like she's ALWAYS like that?

And Oregano.

Sweet Jesus.

He's a total dork.

(Kristen... seriously... WHAT.THE.FUCK?)

Not only is he all stumpy and squatty (you know it's true)

But he's goofy looking...

And his voice???

Man Oh Man...

I looked up the definition for BLAND...

And you tell me if it fits OREGANO.

Main Entry:
bland
Part of Speech:
adjective
Definition:
tasteless; undistinctive
Synonyms:
banal , blah*, boring, dull, dull as dishwater, flat, flavorless, ho hum, humdrum, insipid, milk-and-water, monotonous, nerdy, nothing, pabulum*, sapless*, tame, tedious, unexciting, uninspiring, uninteresting, unstimulating, vanilla*, vapid, waterish, watery, weak, wimpy, wishy-washy*, zero*

Yeah. That's about PERFECT.

Every one of those synonyms equals Oregano.

Sorry Mike...

Truth is fucking truth.

You really should just call it a day...

The party is fucking OVER.

I ♥ you, Robert Pattinson.

Always and Forever.

Bye for now ♥

Desperately Seeking Robert Pattinson...

For almost ninety years I’ve walked among my kind, and yours…

all the time thinking I was complete in myself,

not realizing what I was seeking.

And not finding anything,

because you weren’t alive yet.

Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 14, p.304

I guess I have to deal with this picture.

Somehow.

Why is it the pictures released from the movies...

are not of Edward/Bella actually kissing?

It's always the lean into the kiss.

"Here you go, Folks... just a little something

to fucking torture you with..."

And it works!

ANYway.

I don't have a lot to say today.

I'm getting back to some kind of normalcy

after the destruction of Cannes...

But parts of me are still numb.

I only wish one of those parts was my heart.

But no...

That part of me is working just fine.

Of course.

And it belongs to Robert.

As usual.

Bye for now ♥

Drowning in Robert Pattinson...

Do you ever feel like you just can't breathe?

That you are suffocating... overflowing with emotions?

I feel like I'm drowning... spiraling deeper downward...

Deluged by all the pictures of Rob at Cannes...

Overflowing with his beauty

Drenched in his perfection.

Gasping for breath...

I'm trying to get to the surface.

I can see the light up above.

But it's so far to go...

Rob is in Italy now.

Safely ensconced by security.

Hopefully hidden from cameras.

It's a good thing... I think.

At least for me.

I can feel myself pushing upward...

choking for air...

gulping down my feelings...

and finally being able to breathe again.

Finally.

I ♥ you, Robert Pattinson.

I truly do.

Bye for now ♥

All Signs Point To Yes...

Time to pull the Magic 8 Ball

out of the closet.

*wipes off a layer of dust*

OK... the orb is a bit dusty...

but in my defense...

Um...

Well...

Let's blame it on my ROBsession.

Yeah, that's it.

It's not because I'm lazy or anything.

OH MAGIC 8 BALL....

MAGIC 8 BALL...

*twisting and turning the orb in my hands*

WE SEEK THE TRUTH...

TRUTH SEEKERS WE BE.

*Shaking the magical orb*

1. Am I always going to be so madly in love with Robert Pattinson?

"As I see it, Yes"

2. OK... You know that picture of Rob from Cannes...

he's walking up the stairs...

He's talking on his cell phone...

Was he talking to Kristen?

"Without a doubt"

3. Is Nikki Reed going to tag along to Italy... because she can't

seem to get anyone to pay any attention to her otherwise?

"Most likely"

4. Did Rob read my fan letter?

"Cannot predict now"

5. OK. Shit. When Rob signed my autographs...

Each time he XX'd the kisses on the pictures...

Did he quietly murmur...

"I love you"

"Signs point to yes"

6. WOOOOOfuckingHOOOOOO

OK... OK...

Um...

Wait... give me a minute.

"Concentrate and ask again"

7. Wait a minute. I didn't really ask anything ...

Don't get pushy, Eight...

"Don't count on it"

*roughly shaking up Magic 8*

8. Ah... I feel better.

So... 8...

Is "Where's Oregano Part II"

coming out soon?

"It is certain"

9. Good.

Will "New Moon" be better than "Twilight"?

(not like that would be difficult to do)

"Outlook good"

10. I have to ask.

Now that Robert has written my name

(and yeah, I know I go back to that a lot...

do ya fucking BLAME me?)

And Rob and I have had this connection...

Will he decide that he can't live without me...

and show up at my door

(yeah... he does have my address now!)

And whisk me away to my happily ever after???

"Better not tell you now"

OK...

No need for me to get more delusional

than I already am.

Thanks Magic 8 Ball

Until next time...

Rob? You own me.

Bye for now ♥

Rob Pattinson Is My Jack Dawson...

You can’t have it both ways—

either you want people to ignore your birthday

or you don’t.

One or the other.

Edward Cullen, New Moon, Chapter 2, p.45

This quote is for my sister/friend...

Trixie.

Happy Birthday!

LoveYouForeverAndEver.net

I've been trying to makes sense of my feelings.

Why do these pictures of Rob

make me hurt?

If you think about it...

It's really fucking silly.

But there are so many pictures...

It's endless...

and he looks incredibly gorgeous

BEYOND beautiful

in every one.

But you know what?

I want it to stop.

I really do.

Because looking at these pics...

and watching the videos

(oh yes... watching him MOVE!)

makes me ache.

I don't fucking NEED to be tortured...

Ya know?

I don't need to be reminded constantly...

of what I don't have in my life.

Because, let's face it...

I fucking want Robert Pattinson.

And to come to terms with the fact

that I truly am in love

with this man...

This 23 year old actor...

is very daunting

almost incomprehensible.

And let's get real...

it's fucking confusing.

Do you know how many people in my 'real' life

I shared the autographs with?

ZERO.

Big Fat Fucking Zero.

Why is that?

Because not one person

would fucking understand.

NOT ONE.

I can almost hear the disdain...

The total disbelief...

The "why in the hell would you want his autograph"

coming from their lips.

They wouldn't get it.

They would question me...

They would question my sanity.

And honestly...

who needs it?

Hell...

I question my sanity on a daily basis...

Do I really need someone else

to do it for me?

So.

Rob... Please.

Get the hell outta Cannes.

Please.

I'm hanging on by a thread here.

And not a strong, thick thread...

We are talking thin.

Barely there kinda thread.

Virtually non-existent.

Don't break it.

It's all I have to hold on to.

I'm never letting go.

Bye for now ♥

Blue Moon... You Saw Me Standing Alone.

One thing I truly knew—

knew it in the pit of my stomach,

in the center of my bones,

knew it from the crown of my head

to the soles of my feet,

knew it deep in my empty chest—

was how love gave someone the power to break you.

Bella Swan, New Moon, Chapter 9, p.219

Another day...

another day of heart breaking pain.

I tried to stay away from the Internet today.

I tried.

Rob is everywhere...

and he looks fucking gorgeous.

Everywhere.

ANYway.

This is the official

NEW MOON poster.

And I have to tell you...

I absolutely LOVE it.

Rob IS Edward...

I love how he can turn that part

of himself on...

I love how his back is to Jacob

His hands look tense.

His eyes focused on what is behind him.

And Taylor IS Jacob.

The boy has done the job well.

The look in his eyes

glowering at Edward...

His hand clenched in a fist.

He's between Edward and Bella...

Right where he belongs in NM.

He's protecting Bella...

He won't let Edward hurt her again.

And Kristen Stewart.

She has always been Bella.

She is looking directly at the camera...

with one hand on Jake's arm.

Bella looks beautiful...

and a bit unsure of where

she goes from here.

LOVE IT.

It's good to see new stuff

for New Moon.

And man oh man...

Robert as Edward.

The best of both worlds.

Again.

Robert looks beautifully gorgeous

in Cannes this week.

But it has been

incredibly overwhelming.

I need to catch my breath.

I need to breathe.

I need air.

bye for now ♥

Rob Takes My Breath Away...

OK.

Here I sit again...

Fucking overwhelmed.

I really am wondering just how much my poor heart can take.

Seriously.

As it is...

It's pounding wildly in my chest...

Rob is in Cannes.

Rob.

He looks so damn beautiful.

I really don't know what to say anymore.

I get tired of the same cliches...

The same reactions.

But I can't fucking help it.

I feel like I have just run a marathon.

Heart racing...

Can't catch my breath.

That's it you know...

He takes my fucking breath away.

All the air around me...

The air IN me...

Has been sucked away...

Leaving me gasping for it.

Let's not forget the effect on my stomach...

It's clenching. It's twisted.

My eyes...

They are brimming with tears.

My lips...

They are wet from me licking them.

My brain...

Is erratically shifting, not able to focus.

My hands...

Are trembling and shaky.

And my heart...

Quivering.

Throbbing.

Breaking.

And every fragment.

Every sliver...

Belongs to Robert Pattinson.

Always and Forever.

Bye for now ♥

Robert Pattinson IS Beautiful Bastard...

I should be Rob's bodyguard.

I would take such good care of him.

I wouldn't let annoying asswipes push cameras in his face.

I know karate.

I can be tough.

He looks so anxious... so frustrated.

I don't like seeing that look on his beautiful face.

Rob should always be smiling... that gorgeous smile.

I guarantee you that no stinkin bitches would

get in his way with me around.

There's no bigger bitch than me!

Rob would be laughing if I were his bodyguard.

Seeing people flying through the air...

*POWS* and *BAMS* echoing loudly.

No Pap would dare confront him.

Would dare ask him

"Hey Rob... You dating that Kristen Stewart?"

No 'fan' would have the nerve to ask for a picture

(and seriously, again... the same damn people

showing up in these pics. What.The.Fuck?)

One look at me...with my teeth bared

My claws out...

and those whores would back the hell up.

If I was Rob's bodyguard...

He wouldn't look frightened...

He wouldn't be terrified.

I would protect him.

He would feel safe.

He would smile in airports...

knowing that as long as I was there...

No one could touch him.

Why do I suddenly feel like I should get a buzz cut...

and wear skinny ties... and sunglasses?

Robert Pattinson~ Code Name~ Beautiful Bastard.

*Cue up song*

And I will always love you.

I will always love you.

You, my darling you...

Bye for now ♥