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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Robert Pattinson Is My Twin...

I'm going to be REALLY delusional today.
Even more than I normally am.


Is there such a thing as normal delusion?
See how fucked up I am?
I think it's NORMAL to be delusional.

I was thinking about the things that Rob does...
That I do...
(yes... I'm fucking insane... we already covered that)

How are we the same?

Let me count the ways.

1. Rob always has something to drink in his hand. Always.
Diet Coke, Snapple... Bottled Water.
Well... OK...
*I* always have bottled water with me.
All the damn time.
I can't go anywhere without it.
If I do happen to go somewhere and forget my water...
I'm immediately parched and dying of thirst.
Bottle of water with me... always.
That's one.

2. Rob rakes his fingers through his hair.
I do too... a lot.
Rob does it when he is nervous...
I do it cuz I need a damn haircut
and I hate when my hair is falling into my face...
Actually... my hair raking is more like Kristen...
But fingers... hair... raking.
That's two.

3. Rob wears t-shirts, hoodies and jeans... same clothes over and over.
I know his fucking wardrobe better than my own.
I live in t-shirts and jeans.
I have a well worn hoodie that I love.
I'm a bum. I'm a total tom-boy.
I'm anti-girlie.
And I wear the same shit all the time.
I have my favorites, and I live in them.
Over and over.
That's three.

4. Rob hates having his picture taken.
I hate it too!
Now, obviously, Rob takes fucking INCREDIBLE pictures.
I... do not.
I hate it.
That's four.

5. Rob wears his sunglasses ALL the time.
I fucking live in mine.
When husband and I went to England last summer...
Husband complained that EVERY picture of me
I was wearing sunglasses.
(and *gasp*... he was actually right! Every picture!)
Rob hides behind his sunglasses
(and looks fucking great doing so)
I hide behind my sunglasses.
That's five.

6. Rob loves to read.
He is often photographed with a book...
Well... I devour books.
I can't get enough.
I lose myself in every word.
That's six.

7. Rob LOVES music.
It's obvious that music is very important to Rob.
He puts his very soul into every note he plays.
He is so thoughtful about what he likes... and why.
It is his calm... in the storm.
Music saved my very life.
If it wasn't for The Beatles music...
I doubt I would still be here.
Music is vital to me.
It reaches places that I didn't know existed...
That's seven.

8. Rob has a wonderful sense of humor.
He's sarcastic and witty.
A sense of humor is the number one reason
I married husband. He's funny as hell.
(what? you think I married husband for love?)
I've been told that I can be witty and funny...
And I know that I am a wee bit sarcastic at times...
Wee bit.
That's eight.

9. Rob is tall.
Rose is tall.
I love that Rob is tall.
I love that Rob is taller than me.
Rob is 6' 1
I'm 5'9
Match made in heaven.
I've been tall my whole life.
Even going back to grade school.
There is a classic picture of my whole class in 2nd grade...
All of us girls were standing in it...
And theres me... a whole fucking head taller than everyone else.
No shit.
It was awkward growing up tall...
But I did grow into it eventually.
That's nine.

10. Rob is awkward and kinda pigeon-toed.
Um... hello? I'm incredibly awkward...
and shy. Just like Rob.
I use humor to make others comfortable...
Just like Rob.
I have a habit of walking all pigeon-toed
and goofy. Just like Rob.
That's ten.
I will stop here.
As delusions go... this is a good one.

Rob and me... two peas in a pod.
Oh I so wish Rob was in my pod.
And honestly, I'm not even sure what that means.

Rob is my twinkie.


Delusion complete.

Bye for now

1 comment:

Tess said...

Noooooo... you don't want him to be your twin... that would be illegal ;)