Day 31- Random Rants Regarding Robert

It's Saturday morning.
B is outside cutting the grass.
I'm on my laptop...
trying to get this posted before he is done.
I'm actually laughing out loud
at how insane my life has become.

Some pictures have been released from
Rob's upcoming photo shoot for Vanity Fair.
Yeah.
You know what I am about to say.
The boy always looks damn good.
In fact, he gets better looking by the day.
Is that possible?
It must be.
Bastard.
His hold over me will never falter.
Life is good.
Right?

So anyway.
EXTRA is reporting that they have
a "scoop" on Robsten...
That Rob talks about it.
Ya think?
Is he going to deny a relationship?
I surely don't see him admitting to one.

Does it even matter at this point?
Rob can be vague...
Rob can say
"we are just buddies"
Rob can say
"I love Kristen madly"
and it will still get all skewed
and fucking mangled.

It's kinda getting to the point...
That I fucking hate
ROBSTEN.
Hate it.
Not Rob and Kristen (of course)
Love them...
But all the fucking drama...
innuendo...
speculation
surrounding ROBSTEN
is tedious and annoying.
I hate the damn word.

I find it hard to believe
Either Rob or Kristen
would speak in anything but vague terms
(and in Rob's case... maybe his usual joking around)
about their relationship.
And they shouldn't have to discuss it.
It shouldn't be an issue.

*sigh*

Oh and Kristen and Taylor
are in Brazil.
From the looks of things...
They are getting fucking mobbed.
Ridiculous.
Again...
I just feel this maternal instinct coming out.
I want to stand in front of Kristen...
and make all the bad nasty people
get the fuck out of her face.
I can't even watch the videos.
They upset me so much.

Ugh.
I'm letting this bullshit get to me.
I hate when that happens.
Kinda sucks when you care about the welfare
of someone and there isn't much you can do about it.
I'm glad Taylor is there with Kristen...
I'm glad she's not alone.
*sigh*

Summit?
Can you fucking take care of your stars?
Seriously.
Whatthefuck?
You better take care of Robert in Japan...
Fucking ridiculous what these people
have to go through.

OK.
I have to stop here.
I'm SO irritated and annoyed.
I apologize.
I'm just so worried about them.
I wish Summit felt the same way.

Bye for now

Day 30- ROBSTEN DIARIES

Dear Diary:

I woke up with a headache today, so you will have to bear with me.

I'm even more bitchy than usual... and that is saying a lot. A Lot.

So yesterday was an interesting day in Robsten land.

Rob and Kristen were actually photographed at the airport.

Nothing incredibly exciting...

except the fact that they were together.

Again.

Yeah... the 'NONstens' out there like to try and

deflect anything that remotely looks like Rob and Kristen are together.

But the fact of the matter is... they are ALWAYS together.

You can't deny it.

No matter what you want to believe?

You have to accept that they like each other.

Now... I always take everything I read with a big ol' chunk of salt...

because you just never know where people are getting their 'facts'...

if they are even facts at all.

But even Lainey (who is not a Rob fan...

but seems to be a Kristen fan... so she gets some points)

had written that Rob waited FOUR hours
until Kristen was done with her filming...

So they could fly back to LAX together.

Again...

TOGETHER.

Getting the drift, people?

And while Rob and Kristen go out of their way
NOT to be pictured together

(and I don't blame them for that)

They also go out of their way to be where the other one is.

Yeah.

Everyone sees what they want to see...

Believes what they want to believe.

I get it.

But the 'evidence' keeps piling up...

And the proof of that?

How upset and distraught Nonstens get over all of it.

Some smile on the outside

"As long as Rob is happy"

But they are fucking seething on the inside.

And then of course...

There are those who just flat out hate Kristen.

I'm not sure what the excuses are for why

Robert is always hanging out with Kristen...

"People fly on the same plane doesn't mean they are in love"

"I hang out with my coworkers 24/7 too!"

Blah Blah Blah.

People who continually turn up in the same place...

again and again...

With the same person...

WANT TO BE THERE.
TOGETHER.

I know...

It's a bitter pill to swallow for some...

But that's what happens when you

just cannot accept what is right in front of you.

Oh. And there was some 'new' interview with Kristen...

Where she was asked if she was with Rob...

and she said no.

Yeah. When did she do this interview?

When was the last time she answered questions about Rob?

Right.

But if you need to glom onto that?

I understand...

I do.

But I think you had better hang on tight...

I don't think you will enjoy what is coming up next.

:)

Kristen in L.A.

Smiling.

Yeah...

If I were her? I would be smiling too...

BIG FUCKING TIME.

I'm guessing she has a lot to smile about.

I love Kristen smiling.

I love Kristen.

I just added this picture to the post...

Cuz we haven't seen a recent picture of Robert in a while.

Positives? He's wearing the beanie, sunglasses and

a shirt that is buttoned incorrectly. Again.

Negatives? That jacket.

WTF?

It makes the Brown Bubble Jacket look attractive.

I love his sense of ... style?

I just love him. Period. The end.

One more thing.

There is a video of Rob and Kristen in the airport.

(Yeah, I hate those things, too...

but someone told me to watch this one)

And Kristen is walking behind Rob...

1. So they aren't in the same picture.

2. So maybe Rob will deflect most of the attention from Kris

In the video Rob turns around and looks for her...

Yeah...

I went Awwwwwwww...

Bye for now

Day 29- Robert Pattinson Took My Virginity

Rob walking with a cigarette.

That just about does it for me.

But who the hell am I kidding?

Rob doesn't have to be doing anything...

He fucking kills me every time.

I keep asking myself how I got here.

Because I honestly don't understand.

Sure... on some levels I get it...

Rob is beautiful.

Rob plays Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen owns me.

I love Robert Pattinson.

Yada Yada Yada...

If I try to go back to July 2008...

back to those lovely days of Twilight virginity...
I was just living my life...

Before I had ever heard of Edward and Bella.

And you know what?

I can't fucking GO back.

I don't remember what it was like

without Robert in my life.

I mean...

He's always there.

Everyday.

All day.

He's in my thoughts.

My dreams.

He's in my blood...

(yeah... cute vampire thingy... OK)

I don't remember what my life was like

before I picked up

Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse

at Sams club one day...

I don't recall how I went about living...

Without desire and wanton lust

for Edward Cullen.

I can't fucking imagine

my life WITHOUT

Robert Pattinson.

Pathetic much?

Just a little (lot).

And you know what's even worse?

I have absolutely no control over any of it.

I kid myself into believing I can step away

any time I feel like it...

That I don't need Robert and/or Edward...

But like a true addict...

It's all lies.

I know it.

You know it.

We all fucking know it.

So where in the living hell do I go from here?

(and it is a kind of living hell... yes?)

I really don't know.

It's been 15 months.

15 months of my life...

That I have loved Robert Pattinson.

And its not going away.

If anything...

I love him more than ever.

Seriously...

15 months adoring

a 23 year old actor?

What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Me?

I don't know.

Maybe I'm too far gone to do anything about it.

Maybe I will feel this way

about Robert...

For the rest of my life.

God.

I actually can't imagine

not loving him.

Wow.

I'm so gone.

Too far gone.

There's no coming back from this.

Robert Pattinson owns me.

Forever.

Kristen looking softly beautiful.

Love her.

So much.

You know what I don't love?

People who pretend to like Kristen.

They act like they are into her...

but get their nasty digs in whenever

ROBSTEN

is in the picture.

You know what?

Fucking own it, OK?

You don't have to like Kristen...

Just quit pretending.

Stop lying.

You aren't fooling anyone.

I've seen the posts...
The sly tweets...

I've seen the intentional jabs...

The constant digs.

Own it...

or shut the fuck up.

I would rather someone come out and hate her

then twist the knife in her back

every chance they get.

*deep breath*

Bye for now

Day 28- Calm Before the Robert Storm

I'm on day 28 of my 'say something nice about Kristen' campaign.

It's been just about that many days since

we have seen Robert out and about.

You know how it is...

You miss him like crazy...

(and I hesitate to use the word crazy

because I know that I am...)

But then the New Moon press starts going...

and you can't keep up with it all...

and you feel like your head is going to explode...

and you are afraid you are going to miss something...

And. And. And.

Oh hell.

Well.

I know that you have all seen the

'New' New Moon Kiss scene.

Personally...

It's been on my computer pretty much nonstop.

I can't seem to take my eyes off of Robert's mouth.

And I can't stop listening to the groans...

and moans...

and this fucking kiss is kinda killing me.

And now I'm so afraid.

So fucking scared.

I'm starting to wonder if I will live through New Moon.

Seriously.

Seeing Robward all emotional and sexy...

Watching him actually be intimate with Krisella...

I can't fucking take it.

I've seen so much actual Edward/Bella

in just the 30 second clips

than in the whole of "Twilight".

(although... I would LOVE for Edward

to trail his nose down her jawline and neck...)

OK.

I just need to calm down.

I can do this.

One minute at a time.

See you on the other side...

Kristen Stewart.

You are in my thoughts right now.

I know you have a lot of shit

in front of you...

All the press...

The interviews...

I have such faith in you.

You can do this.

Just smile...

and be yourself.

It will be OK.

Just give Rob a kiss and a hug...

He will be there for you.

Waiting.

And could you do something for me?

Snuggle into Rob's neck...

and take a deep breath...

And please...

Tell me what he smells like!

Thanks :)

Bye for now ♥

Day 27- NEW MOON Over NYC

OK Rob... You win.
You fucking kill me with every picture I see.
Happy?
You actually make me *gasp*
when I look at you.
Is that what you are going for?
Making people who adore you
catch their breath?
Did you ever notice how much command
Rob has over my breathing?
I'm always *sighing*
0r *panting*
or *gasping*
Or just forgetting TO *breathe*...
Damn.
That's kinda scary.

*hyperventilate*

All Right.

"Inside sources tell us Kristen Stewart will visit

Conan O’Brien and “The Tonight Show” on November 16,

while Robert Pattinson will guest on

“The Late Show with David Letterman” on November 18."

Kristen on Conan.

I love Conan... I really do...

But he better be nice to Kristen.

I'm hoping he realizes going in that she

gets a bit nervous and awkward in interviews...

And treats her kindly.

I just want her to be OK.

Rob on Letterman.

ROB ON LETTERMAN!

Truly.

To have Rob sit down...

and be able to articulate his thoughts...

To hear his sexy, shy laugh...

and see him pull his fingers through his hair...

I can't breathe...

*gasps*

Here we go again...

Thanks Rob.

:)

Bye for now ♥

Day 26- Robsten. Rants. Ramblings.

I've missed my blog.

Is that kinda pathetic?

I never realized how much I need this

to vent and get out my thoughts.

1. This pic of Robert.

Um.

Well... its all been said before.

But thanks Rob for

being so damn beautiful

and for making me smile.

2. ROBSTEN

I think I'm officially sick of that word.

Not the couple

(of course not!!)

But the word kinda grates on me.

And it kinda isn't fair to Kristen.

I mean...

She just gets the STEN.

I suppose KrisBert would suck equally.

And that sounds like Kristen is hanging out

with Ernie's better half.

And that's never good...

Unless you're Bert.

3. Some friends were discussing

how the whole Rob/Kristen thing

is kinda ruining New Moon for them.

They are worried that when they

watch New Moon...

That all they will see is Rob/Kristen

instead of Edward/Bella...

I find that kinda interesting.

But I understand it to some degree.

It's easy to let both worlds collide...

As for me?

No problems here.

I lose myself immediately in the characters.

And.

I.

Can't.

Wait.

4. Have I told you lately that I

absolutely ADORE Kristen Stewart?

Well... I do.

5. I watched "Panic Room"

over the weekend.

Man.

What a little actress...

11 years old...

and she was already kicking ass.

How can you not love that?

Or at least...

admire her talent?

6. I'm still bracing myself for the

New Moon press onslaught.

The calm before the storm.

I like storms.

A lot.

But just thinking about all the Robert

that will be thrown my way

in the next couple of months...

is both exhilarating...

and overwhelming.

7. Eclipse has finished filming?

That kinda freaks me out.

Well... freaks me out

in a happy, excited way...

I'm liking that I don't have to

wait a year to see it...

but again...

it's both exhilarating...

and overwhelming.

I might as well get used to it... yes?

Bye for now ♥

Day 23- New Moon- Crying and Dying

Can I just say ...

That Robert and Kristen

are channeling

Edward and Bella...

BIG FUCKING TIME.

Brilliant job.

I'm trying... really hard.

But I don't think I can articulate my feelings.

By now... you have seen all the New Moon clips...

(and I don't mean to be all spoilerish...

but if you've read the books... you already know what happens)

There was a 'behind the scenes' clip...

shot in Italy.

The best part was watching

Kristen run into Rob's arms.

Or Bella/Edward.

It gets confusing sometimes

;)

And then...

There was the clip of the fight between

Edward and Felix.

WoW

Again... the best part...

Edward fucking FLIPS Bella

out of the way to protect her.

Um...

Protective, Fierce Edward...

is the fucking BEST.

But now...

The 'break up' scene.

and can I just say...

IT FUCKING KILLED ME.

No... Crying and Dying...

isn't a good enough reason to stop me from watching it

again and again and again and again and again.

(Did I mention... again?)

Nah... what's a little death and tears

when you are watching Robert and Kristen

fucking bring Edward and Bella to life.

Right there.

In front of you.

Because that is exactly what happened.

I was literally pulled right into the moment.

I was so scared for Bella...

I was sorry for Edward.

I cried. I died.

In fact...

I'm crying just fucking writing about it.

But JFC...

Robert.

The emotion. The pain.

Everything was right there in his eyes.

"You don't want me?"

"No."

I could actually hear Bella's heart break...

And then...

He kisses her goodbye...

And the pain... the anguish...

is on his face.

And now I'm all blubbery again.

I find it so odd that this can affect me so strongly...

I mean... I've read the books...

I know how this all ends.

Yet.

Seeing Edward and Bella brought to life

from the beloved page...

Kills me.

Totally. Dead. Gone.

Crying and Dying.

Bye For Now ♥

Day 22- Edward Loves KStew... Too ;)

32 seconds.
Close your eyes and its gone.
32 fucking seconds.
Multiply that by... a thousand.
Or so.
And that's how many times I watched
the motherbitching NM TV spot.
I couldn't take my eyes off of Robward.
As usual.
But shit...
The emotion that boy shows with just his face.
He makes me feel his pain.
(as if looking at him wasn't painful enough)

One of the reasons I never had a problem
with the Jacob Black character...
is what he brings out in Edward.
Jealousy. Possessiveness.
Color me weird...
But I find that fucking hot.
And the part in the clip...
Where Edward pushes Jake...
The look in his eyes...
Fuck. Me. Dead.
Really. Right now.

The only problem I have with the clip?
(besides being 2 hours too short...)
Is if Edward pushed Jake
(which wasn't in NM... but who cares)
And Jake turned into a wolf?
There's NO way Edward would be standing behind Bella.
Um... No.
He would be in front of her.
Protecting her.
Taking care of her.

*sigh*

I'm thinking that Edward would love Kristen, too.
Intelligence.
Beauty.
Independent.
Non-conforming.

I think the fact that Kristen and Rob
both don't give a fuck
how they look on any given day...
is definitely a major plus.
They seem to dress for comfort...
For themselves.
A kind of
"What you see is what you get"

I love what I see.

Bye for now ♥

Day 21- All About Kristen Stewart.

This post is all about Kristen Stewart.

I kinda missed yesterday.

(Real Life does bite me in the ass from time to time)

But I still had to have a picture of Robert.

Cuz I love Robert.

Lots.

So... Yesterday...

While I was running around like a lunatic...

I managed to buy a number of Twilight related magazines.

2 of them being Allure and Seventeen.

And then... while I was reading 17...

My son says to me...

"Hey Mom *chuckle* Whatcha reading? *chortle*"

Now.

He knows I'm reading Seventeen.

And he knows I'm a bit north of 17...

(A teeny tiny bit.)

He finds that totally amusing.

(OK, it IS kinda funny)

But I don't answer him.

I can't.

The only words going through my head

at the moment...

are very un-Mom like words.

I take deep breaths.

Ignore his laughter.

Some things are better left unsaid.

It's true.

Another gorgeous picture.

So many to choose from.

And the Allure magazine?

If you love Kristen...

Buy it.

She is so fucking fierce in that mag.

The pictures are amazing...

but so is the interview.

She is so aware of her 'image'.

She knows how people see her.

And I love how she is awkward and uncomfortable

talking about herself.

It's just another part of her charm.
The more I know about her...
The more I like her.

OK... OK.

I know I don't usually post pictures of Taylor Lautner.

But this is to 'prove' a point about Kristen.

She obviously has chemistry with Taylor.

(Not like she does with Rob... but what did you expect?)

This pic is really quite adorable.

And for the sake of New Moon...

I'm glad.

But so many people are always trashing

Kristen about being bitchy and bitter

and sour and blah blah blah.

But the people that fucking KNOW her?

They ADORE her.

What does that tell you?

Have you ever read where a co-worker slammed her?

Where she was a Diva or a bitch on set?

No.

The only time you read negative bullshit about Kristen...

is in the fucking gossip blogs...

and the anti-Robsten sites.

But the people who know her...

Love her.

Even people who don't know her.

Love her.

Bye for now ♥